Back to Self-Induced Chaos

As much as I care about John, he has not brought up "exclusivity", and given that I see him only once or twice a month, I refuse to sit around and wait. It's been a year. Plus, I have no clue what he is out doing; I don't ask, and he doesn't say. In the meantime, I am back in the dating game full speed ahead. I went out with Tony last Sunday who drove all the way from San Diego to take me to an Italian dinner, then Starbucks, then bowling, then In and Out burger at midnight. (We were hungry again, LOL!) He called last night and wants to go out again. My next date is with Paul, he is taking me out to dinner as well for a first date. Kevin, who I went out with a couple of times last summer has reappeared and wants to see me. I don't know, we'll see, he only seems interested in one thing. I have been emailing back and forth with Alex, but I think he is looking for a submissive and docile "lady", and well, let's all laugh together, shall we?

So, in a nutshell, I'm having a really good time, I am meeting all kinds of interesting people, and not sitting at home pouting, that's for sure! It would be nice to be in a committed relationship and fall in love, but until that happens, let the good times roll! I've never really been able to do what I want, when I want at any other time in my life, so I think I need this 'rite of passage' right now.

Some fun things I just bought.

Little peasant top.

Off-the-shoulder top.

Beach tee.

Going-out-dancing-shoes.

Photos of Irish food, my wild night & a juice cleanse!

Corned Beef, Cabbage and Potatoes!

Irish Soda Bread and Guinness beer!

Having a good time at Crow's

Fun with new friends

2-day Juice cleanse!  Bring me the toilet!!

St. Paddy's Day, George, John and Holy Shit Mode

I get myself in trouble. More about that in a minute, though, let's talk about food! After a crazy all-nighter and getting home at 8 am in the morning, I took a nap and then my mom and I went up to Cath's (my Godmother) and she made us an Irish feast! Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, soda bread and Guinness beer! It was sooo good and I was starving so I stuffed myself.

George. So, George has texted and emailed me every day since we met. Awesome. Too bad he lives so far away, right? But in the last few months, guess who has been very attentive and wonderful? John. Of course. I just realized we have been seeing each other for almost a year now, how time flies! I’m not sure exactly what changed, but he is different with me all of a sudden. Still sweet and fun, but a lot more intense and serious with the emotions. So intense in fact, that I’m in “holy shit” mode.

We stayed out all night (per usual) on Friday, going to our favorite dive bar, “Crow’s Cocktails” and having a crazy, fun time. We met some people there (as always) and we were all laughing, slamming shots and dancing along with the Jukebox well into the wee hours of the morning until they kicked us out. We hung out for a while afterward, talking and sobering up, then, it started raining softly. I told him I should be getting home, but he said, “Let’s take a walk”. So, we took a romantic walk in the rain holding hands. Then something happened that was so unexpected, I almost choked on my own spit. He said the “L” word. Yes, that one. HOLY SHIT MODE. John does not let that word fly around haphazardly like some guys. Not at all. It is something I never actually expected to hear from him, even after a night of drinking. I don’t think he expected it either. Then came this:

John: “You are so great. You are the greatest woman I have ever met. Really.”

Me: “Oh, how so?” (Smiling; heart pounding; not yet recovered from the L word.)

John: “You are so sweet, fun and easy to be around. You aren’t all emotional and scattered and moody and annoying like every other woman I know, everyone loves you. I watch you. I watch men talk to you all night long in the bar, they aren’t trying to get laid, they know you are with me, but they are drawn to you, they ignore the women they are with because you are more interesting and fun to talk to. You don’t clamor for attention; everyone just comes to you naturally. It makes me smile, knowing you are with me. She’s with me! I watch you, then I start to think, Hey! Wait a minute! I want to talk to her; I want to be next to her! That’s my Cheryl! Everybody step aside!  I really appreciate that you don’t act jealous or get all pissy when I am running late. You are awesome. And I love you. And I want to be with you all the time.”

Um, what do I do now?

After just being together for 11 hours, he called me after 5 hours of sleep. I didn’t hear my phone ring the FIRST THREE TIMES HE TRIED TO CALL leaving two voicemails. (What is going on?) I groggily answered the fourth phone call. And then we talked for 2 hours. Somebody help me, here. His business is going really well right now, and he also said this perplexing little statement in passing “I am changing some things in my life; I am in transition.” WTF does that mean?

WOW.

I Just Couldn't Help Myself

I was resistant to remaining on "online dating" sites any longer, but I kept myself on one of them just for the hell of it. Out of 1004 emails over the last year on this one site (whew!) I have only responded to maybe 5 of them. Yeah, I'm pretty picky. One came along the other day, and even though he is older than the men I usually date, he is OH SO SEXY, and distinguished! Seriously ladies, don't you think so? To hell with George Clooney, this George makes my heart race when I talk to him! He is very well spoken and responsive to me, however he lives in Northern California (damn it!) but we are still getting to know each other anyway. Those eyes, sigh. You never know.

The guy before him that contacted me revealed in his 5th email that he had a girlfriend but was definitely interested in "occasional and discreet" naughty fun. DIRT BAG. And people wonder why women (especially me) have trust issues. However, instead of being mean and going off on him, I simply said, "Oh, too bad, my sexual appetite is just too strong for occasional and discreet." LOL, I can't help it. I feel sorry for his girlfriend, this is why I stay unattached and have backups. Ha!

Moonstruck

Driving home from work tonight, the biggest moon I've ever seen emerged. The pictures I took when I got home don't even come CLOSE to how it really looks. I feel like I could just reach out and touch it. I wish I could capture just how gorgeous it is, but I am no professional photographer, and my equipment is lacking. My Nikon does well, but this truly is a sight.

While I had the camera out, thought I would take a few pics of the pups. Maggie and my mom's dog, Molly. Okay, I'm hungry, gotta go. Ciao!

Peace, Quiet and Sunshine

I just spent two glorious days in utter and complete bliss. I have been laying in the 85-degree sun reading in my backyard, loving on my dog, swimming in my pool and just "being". I feel incredibly relaxed. Bills are paid, work is at work and my brain is happy and stress-free. This is the good life. Right here, right now.

There was a slight breeze as I laid down on my sunning chair just after getting out the pool. The sun felt so good on my skin and as the pool water dripped down my back from my wet hair, it kept me cool. I could smell my mom's jasmine in the planter behind me. I watched Maggie stretch her back legs out behind her as she soaked in the scene as well. The only noise was my pool heater humming, which makes me smile.  No one was bothering me, asking me questions, wanting things from me. Peace.  I found it.

My Friend Brandi, An Honorary CrazyDogMama

Brandi does not own a pet store nor run an animal shelter, she just has 4 German Shepherds and 3 cats.  Going to Costco with her is amusing. :-)  All the dog/cat food weighs more than she does.

An intellectual? Really?

I took this test thingy (my intellectualness coming out here) and this was the result:

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE

You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goal—you're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.

When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities.

You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Joining a philosophy society? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.

Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.

What a Week

I had to leave work early yesterday, because in mid-sentence with some co-workers, my whole body went red and I started getting welts everywhere. Allergic reaction! To what? I have no idea and neither does anyone else. My heart started beating super-fast, I hurled twice, took some Benadryl and did 90 on the freeway home. I wasn't about to pay a $100 copay for the stupid emergency room. I have an epi-pen if stop breathing. I'm fine now.

My moms are out doing something tonight, and my friend Lisa is coming over in a few minutes. We are going to make chicken enchiladas, margaritas and watch a horror movie. I turned the pool heater on this morning, but I don't know if it will be warm enough by tonight. It was down to 60 degrees, and I like 85.  Probably won't be ready until tomorrow. And that's it. That's all. Big whoop.

My 4-Day Weekend

I've become paralyzingly boring. Seriously. Friday, I slept, watched a little TV and ate dinner out with moms. Saturday, I went to an eye appointment, got tires for my SUV, then ended up taking it to the shop for new brakes, rotors, shocks and a new front left hub bearing and ate dinner with moms. Sunday, I slept.  Monday, I went to a doctor appointment, read, slept and watched TV. End of story. Pathetic. My vehicle is not yet ready, so I am working from home tomorrow, plus Maggie is going the vet again. Tell me again how this happened. I used to be fun. My blog is even boring. Shit. Kill me.

An Unexpected Valentine

Driving home from work my phone chimed. Joe. "Happy Valentine's Day, Cheryl." He always remembers me on holidays. All holidays. It made me smile. More than I thought it would.

We ended up talking for most of the night. I'm not sure I understand. If there is anything to understand.  Will somebody please help me with this? We never really had an "official" relationship, but we said many sweet things to each other. We didn't really "break up" either, life just happened, and we seemed to drift apart with our busy schedules and distance (he lives over an hour away). I think about him often, and apparently, he thinks of me too. Normally (in my experience anyway) if a man decides he doesn't want to date you, you never hear from him again. I make it easy for them and give them a hassle-free escape, if that is what they want. But Joe always contacts me on special days without any prompting.

I suppose I will just enjoy it for what it is. But it is perplexing to me. On Thanksgiving when I heard from him, he said this, "Hope you and your mom have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I am very blessed and thankful for my family, friends and meeting the most extraordinary people (that would be you). I hope you know how special you are."  Guys don't talk like that. Of course, Joe is the one my mother likes. Go figure. I don't know. I truly resolve to know nothing here. Life is strange. Men are even stranger.

Happy VD

Wanna be mine?

I'm going to get in trouble for this.

My mom. She weighs about 100 pounds. We went out to Mexican food last night and she had two sangrias. Which knocked her on her ass. As we were driving off in the car, she exclaimed "Wheeeeee!" I suggested we go get some coffee. I ordered a mocha. The barista asked, "Hot or Cold?" I said "Hot." My mother then blurted out "I want an iced latte, HOT!" Gotta love her. LOL!

A Late Date, Mortgage-Free, and What I'm Reading

I saw John last night for the first time in a while. We had a really good time, went to our favorite dive bar and I rolled into my driveway at 5:07 am this morning. I kind of backed away a little before as things were getting a little serious, and he needed to concentrate on his business, but he started emailing me and texting me again a few weeks ago and I couldn't help but say yes to seeing him. Missed his lips! LOL.  But it's all good, we actually have a lot in common and spent most of the wee hours of the morning talking. How I love that.

Here is the big news, I'm mortgage free! Actually, I'm completely debt-free for the first time in my life! House in WA finally closed, truck is paid off, credit cards are paid off and I make more salary now than I ever thought possible. I'm in heaven! Ah, how things change. And I worked my ass off for it. 

John still paid for drinks, though, gotta love him. :-)

Got up around 2:30 pm today. (Well, hey, I got home at 5 am.) Then I made an espresso and have been reading. I'm currently reading "The Leopard" by Jo Nesbo, and it is sooooo good! I'm all cuddled up with Mags because it is freezing. Yes, I'm freezing at 60 degrees, shut it. We even have the heat on in the house, and I'm still cold. I'm an official California weather-weenie now.

Oh Holy Hell!

So, my LinkedIn account just sent EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON who has EVER emailed me an invitation to connect. So yes, that includes my ex, old boyfriends and every creep I've dated in the last two years.  Oh, Jesus God please help me. I'm sorry everyone who just got bombarded. You can link me back of course if you still like me. LOL! How embarrassing. Life certainly is interesting when technology goes berserk.

Wancakes and The Excavator

I had the bright idea this morning to make waffles with my handy dandy waffle iron. I thought I had waffle mix. I did not. My mom said, "Just use Bisquick, it's the same thing". For the record, NOT TRUE. I also thought it would be a great idea to put chocolate chips in the batter as well as substitute vegetable oil with coconut oil (which is the cure for cancer I'm convinced, but I'll save that for another blog). Let's just say my intentions were well meant.

I followed the recipe on the back of the Bisquick box. Looked good, smelled good. Poured the batter onto the waffle iron grid. Nice and thick, perfect! Lid down. I watched the batter ooze out over the sides and onto the counter (I could hear my mother's head exploding) and went about making the bacon. A few minutes later, I raised up the lid excited to see my waffle creation. It looked like someone had vomited up flies. Sooo not what a waffle should look like. OK, well, shit. I got the Bisquick box back out and noticed that the only difference between waffles and pancakes was 1 egg. Cool. I put another egg in my batter and got out the pancake pan. I pushed the waffle iron aside.

I brought out a nice plate of pancakes with butter and syrup accompanied by crisp bacon out to Ma. She was nice and ate one, but the look on her face resembled that of a 6-year-old who desperately wanted to spit the broccoli back out onto to their plate and go back outside and play, but if they did, they would be punished and sent to their room. She excused herself from the table and spent the next hour cleaning my waffle iron mumbling something about going OUT for dinner. Okay, so it wasn't my best culinary moment. Bisquick blows.

Dinner at Claim Jumper. Cath, Ma and I went out for a tasty meal. Afterward, we all ordered dessert. I had the mini English toffee cake (yum!) and Cath and Ma split an eclair. I laughed because both of them are skimpy eaters, and the damn thing was the size of a watermelon. Watching them share it was, how should I say this, like watching the female version of "Grumpy Old Men". My mom went right for the custard inside with a spoon, as Cath just forked off pieces at her end. By the time they got to the middle I watched Cath's brow furrow as she tilted her head sideways with a WTF look and exclaimed, "You excavated all the custard out!" The only thing missing was a comma and the word "asshole" after that sentence. LOL! They bantered back and forth about it for several minutes. It was better than Comedy Central, I tell ya.

And that was my excitement for the weekend. There was NO FOOTBALL at our house. I read most of the day instead.

I love answering questions.

1. Would you rather be an Olympic athlete or win American Idol?

Olympic athlete. The only thing I hate more than “American Idol” is “Desperate Housewives”.

2. If you could live in any US city, which would it be?

You know, I like right where I’m at! Although I’m sure once I start doing more traveling, I will fall in love with other US cities. I really want to go to New Orleans this year. I really enjoyed NY, but I wouldn't want to live there more than a year.

3. What was the first blog you ever read?

Skwigg!

4. What was your favorite CD in 7th grade?

They did not have CD’s when I was in the 7th grade. :-/

5. Mac or PC?

PC

6. Who was your first kiss?

Eric. I met him at church camp in 9th grade. He was a rocker with LONG hair. LOL

7. Sandwich or salad?

Sandwich. Big one.

8. Country music or rap?

Country

9. If you had no restraints (time, money, etc.), is there something different you would do with your life at this moment?
 
I would go adopt a bunch of dogs from rescue and hire someone to clean up poop and wash out crates.
 
10. Who was the last person you talked with on the phone?
 
Jenny. We are trying to figure out a way to go to Hawaii in April or May!
 
11. The last movie you saw in the theater?
 
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
 
12. Something you are ashamed of.
 
My last ping pong game at work. Maybe that's what's wrong with my wrist.

Innovation

So apparently we don't have a lid for this pan. LOL. My mom, so clever.

Speaking of clever, I'm not so much. I got a call from corporate today, and I spoke with a manager who asked me to take the lead on a project. OK, sure, no problem. They want me to reconfigure our entire change process to make it more efficient. Sure! Just let me start messing with the coding for our 3-million-dollar software! Piece of cake! Holy fucking shit. Are you KIDDING me? I'm the one that crashes it weekly, don't they know? I knew there was going to be a catch to that atomic raise they gave me. Fuuuuck. Goodbye, life, nice knowing you.

Those damn birds again!

The Kindle Fire rocks. However, don't let the $199 price tag fool you. After you buy the leather case, a new state-of-the-art router, start using the one touch "buy" button for apps, kindle books and other little goodies, your bank account is down roughly $500. Bah!

I had an awesome evening with fam & friends eating pizza, drinking lemon drop martini's and playing cards. (Disney UNO has "evil" cards!) My friend Lisa and I stayed up past everyone else watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns, then she fell asleep, and I played the new Angry Birds 2012 seasons "Year of the Dragon" and OMG the next thing I knew it was 3 am. This did not help my wrist at all. I need the new ABA group therapy (Angry Birds Anonymous), where everyone sits arounds twitching in withdrawal making grunting Hitler pig noises.