I Love You All

I want to thank everyone who left a comment and/or emailed me to see if I was OK. It means a lot! I am in fact, OK. I have had a crapola week, but it is getting better. I am exhausted mentally and physically, but I truly believe all the prayers are working. Most of you are complete strangers to me, but I feel like I know you anyway. Blogland is great that way. I will be back to my cynical and sarcastic self soon. I may have lost my sense of humor for a couple of days, but no fear, it is still in me.

Taking a Break

I wanted to let all 4 of you know that I probably won't be blogging for a short time. I am going through something in my life, and I have to figure things out. I'll be back when I am feeling a bit more up to par. Email me if you wish. Take care, and don't stop being a CrazyDogMama fan! Please!

St. Patrick's Day

At approximately 7:30 am this morning as I'm commuting to work, my husband calls me on my cell phone and asks, "So, are we getting hammered tonight?" LOL. We have to make sure we keep our priority plans straight.

My Life with Dogs, Part 2

Now, Maggie. My little Magadog. Maggie is much simpler than Louie. She is a happy little dog who is quite possibly the sweetest girl ever. She can totally kick Louie's ass, though.

Maggie
a.k.a. Magadog, Magalope, Mags, Magpie, stinky, freak-a-zoid, and little shit-fucker.

Maggie was such a cute puppy. She had one ear that flopped over, and one that stood up. She was so tiny and impish. We were worried that Louie was going to steamroll her with his big clumsy clod-ass, but when we brought her home, she took off after him! She chased him and he would have to jump up on the couch to get away from her. Maggie totally took over from that point on.

Maggie shit everywhere, every day, for the first year of her life. She would shit in her crate (and all over herself) at least twice a day. That damn dog got so many baths. We called her stinky. She also has Seborrhea, a skin condition that makes her fur oily and smelly. (Louie doesn't smell at all.) So, she is always a mess.

Maggie is a complete and total SPAZ. She is like a squirrel on crack. She is always running and jumping all over the place. She actually runs circles around Louie and slams him against things. She also jumps OVER Louie all the time. It is quite amusing, especially when Louie attempts to catch her, which of course never happens. It is much like Wily Coyote and the Roadrunner.

Maggie turns around in circles when she is excited, we call it twirling. She will twirl to go outside, she will twirl when I am filling her food dish or water bowl and she will twirl when I say, "Let's go bye-bye". When it is treat-time, though, she jumps HIGH up into the air and rams my butt with her head. She will ram your ass too, if you get near the treat jar. The jumping is why we call her Magalope. (Antelope, Magalope, get it?)

Maggie wolfs her food down in, like, 15 seconds. I'm not kidding. Then, immediately afterward, you had BETTER LET HER OUTSIDE QUICK or shit will start flying out of her butt. She gets all panicky if I am out of the room when she is finished, and starts ramming the back door with her head. Perhaps I should get a doggy door, but then we run the risk of all the mountain creatures coming inside.

Maggie loves her toys, and she doesn't destroy them like Louie does. Her favorite toy is a fuzzy purple and black tiger-pig thing we call "Pigger". She carries it everywhere and uses it as a pillow. Humans can touch her toys, but God help Louie if he so much as looks at them. Maggie is downright scary when she is pissed at Louie. She is as quick and fierce as lightning, and Louie just yelps and runs. He is such a vagina.

Maggie loves to cuddle. She will bury herself in you on the couch, the bed, or wherever you are. She wants to be warm, and she will NOT move. Even if you want her to. I could sit on her, and she wouldn't move. She is a fabulous bed partner. She keeps your feet warm. She is always up for love and is eternally grateful for any and all affection. Maggie has never been aggressive or pissy towards her humans, and she HATES fighting. When Jim and I are in an argument, she barks at us. She wants everything peaceful. Sweet, sweet, sweet little thing she is.

Maggie is an attention-whore. Don't think you can ignore her. It's impossible. She will back up into your hands for a petting or lick you until you acknowledge her appropriately. Maggie is also FUCKING LOUD. She has this extremely high-pitched squeal-bark thing she does when the doorbell rings. You cannot shut her up, and it is worse than when you set off the house fire alarm. (Having both the alarm going off and Maggie squealing at the same time makes you want to kill yourself.) People are always like "OH MY GOD SHE IS ULTRASONIC". It can be very embarrassing, but she is so darn cute when she is looking up at you wagging her tail, that you soon forget about it.

Maggie is the life of the party on the 4th of July. While Louie is hiding behind the toilet from the fireworks noise, Maggie is in the back yard running around in big wide circles, barking non-stop at the pretty sparkly lights. She is very happy, and very excited. She will ram the door until you let her out and will stay out there all night long. I have to go pick her up and drag her inside to rest and get a drink of water, so she doesn't have a heart attack.

We love our Magadog. Once, when she was really sick and the vet put her on antibiotics for 6 months, I would periodically cry while waiting tables thinking about her. I got really good tips when I explained this to my customers, especially if they were "dog people".

It is true, I have two dogs of the same breed, but two dogs that are polar opposites. They are both so full of personality that every day is a new adventure. You really never know what is going to happen next. I wouldn't want it any other way. My kids, Louie and Maggie.

My Life with Dogs, Part 1

Besides the last post, I haven't been dog-blogging lately. Its time. Now that I am home more (not working two jobs), I have really had time to pay attention to the little furry fuckers. It is NOW that I have chosen to attempt to explain them to you in all their quirky glory. Louie will be first, then Maggie on the next post.

Louie
a.k.a. Lou, Lou-dog, Lou-Master, Lou-Bear, Bear, Boo, Boo-Bear, Assbag, dumbass, fucker and fuzzbutt.

Louie is an island. He is complex, cynical, highly intelligent, clumsy, adorable, stubborn as hell, moody and funny. I love him so much it hurts.

Louie will pretty much eat anything, and he is totally preoccupied with anything edible. He especially loves to put his face in my dinner plate when I am eating on the coffee table. (Much to my chagrin.) If you accidently leave any food on the coffee table, you can just forget about it. Louie 'checks' the coffee table every morning upon waking. Louie can be on the other side of the yard, or totally asleep in his crate, but if you open the refrigerator, Louie will be on you like a fly on shit. If you make him "go lay down" and stop begging, he will lay facing you, staring a hole through you with every bite you take. This drives Jim batshit.

Louie likes to ignore me on purpose because he knows how much it pisses me off. I like to lay on the couch and watch TV, and I like to have my furries lay with me to keep me warm. I will call him and call him and call him. It is though I do not exist. Sometimes I have to FORCE HIM to lay with me and he will commence immediately to looking as though someone has licked all of the red off of his candy with his ears out sideways instead of straight up. (This is what I call "Yoda Ears".) Once I give up and let him go, he will either lay beside the couch or wander down the hallway into his crate, sulking. If I get up, however, he follows me everywhere and will invariably plunk down beside me wherever I end up, even if it is on the toilet. I never pee alone. He wants to be NEAR me, but not touching.

When I take a shower, Louie plops his two front paws on top of the tub, moves the shower curtain back with his nose and watches me. He will lick my legs if I let him. He is a total perv.

Louie is extremely vocal. Louie play-growls like he is possessed. He barks for no reason. When he wants your attention, he will sway from side to side on his front paws while sitting, then whine and 'talk' to you. He SOUNDS like a Pitbull, but he runs from spiders. In the morning, if he believes you have slept long enough, he will bark in your face and "dig" your blankets off of you.

Do not disturb Louie when he is sleeping or eating. He has a total hissy-fit.

Louie gets VERY excited around new people. He loves people, especially kids. Watch out, though, because he head-butts in all of his excitement. When I come home from work, Louie licks my face and jumps on me for about a half an hour. THEN, he will ignore me.

If you do anything to upset Louie, he will spite-piss right in front of you. (Like, every time I give him a bath.) Louie pees like a bitch, he never lifts his leg. He also looks really funny when he poops, it's like he can barely balance. Then, when he is finished pooping, he "pumps" his tail to get every last dingleberry out.

Louie will play with Maggie, but he is slow and clumsy, and can't take a corner to save his life due to the fact that his back legs are too long. Its pitiful. He also tries to hump Maggie all the live-long day, but she won't have it. He gets all frustrated and barks at her.

Louie is a homophobe. When you stick a thermometer up his butt, he SCREAMS IN HORROR. He also wails and carries on to no end when I clip his nails. I'm sure the neighbors think I'm skinning him alive when he makes these noises.

Louie will disembowel any toy given to him just outside of 30 seconds.

Louie likes to steal my underwear and hide it in his crate.

Louie likes to find good smells in the yard and roll on them. He rolls on insects, frogs, cat shit, vomit and old, rotting grass.

Louie is constantly running into things like flowerpots, kitchen cabinets, the coffee table legs, me, the fence, etc. He is not blind, nor does he have cataracts. He just doesn't pay attention, and he trips over himself.

When I am crying, Louie licks my tears.

If you go to pet Louie on the head, it will ALWAYS end up as a belly-scratch. He will totally manipulate you.

Louie "huffs" and "sighs" just like a human.

When Louie is scared, he "hugs" you. Either that, or he hides behind the toilet.

Louie freaks out over flies.

Last, but not least, Louie smiles.

Welcome to My World

NOTE: This article is 100% true, and I'm not kidding. I laughed so hard and nodded my head through the entire thing. Read until the end, especially if you are thinking about getting a Cairn Terrier.

TOTO: The Other Side of the Story (by Michele Stadnik)

So, "The Wizard of Oz" is your favorite movie, you just LOVE Toto, and have always wanted a dog just like him. A dog who's small, cute, lovable, and doesn't shed all over your couch? You've done your research and learned that Cairn Terriers are (take your pick):

Good with children.
Friendly.
Loving family dogs.
Adaptable to living in small apartments as well as large homes.

Well, YES and NO.

Probably NO ONE ever told you that Cairns will almost INVARIABLY:
Chase squirrels.
Chase bunnies.
Chase bugs.
Chase bikes.
Chase paper fluttering down the street.
Chase anything that moves.
Chase things that aren't moving, just to GET them moving so they'll have something to chase.
Bark at cars.
Bark at bikes.
Bark at birds.
Bark at trikes.
Bark at trucks.
Bark at the phone.
Bark at fireworks.
Bark at thunder.
Bark at the doorbell.
Bark at the doorbell on TV.
Bark to hear themselves bark.
Bark just to get your goat or get your attention.
Or both.
Bark sometimes just because it feels so damned GREAT TO BARK.
Dig up that mouse hole.
Dig up your tulips.
Dig up your roses.
Dig up your lawn.
Dig under your fence.
Dig under your shed.
Dig up your linoleum.
Dig up your carpeting.
Nip at people's feet if you haven't redirected their intense prey drive.
Nip at your hands too, if not trained properly.
Try to control their universe and everything in it, INCLUDING YOU.
Will succeed at this unless YOU intervene. And even then, they'll try again. And again. And again, and again, and again, and again.
Lunge at other dogs on leash.
Lunge at people, unless trained not to.
Lunge because it feels good and they're in a hurry to get where they're going, and you're the only thing holding them back from experiencing the next exciting adventure around the corner or around the world.
Bolt out any open door in the blink of an eye.
LET ME REPEAT THAT: THEY WILL BOLT OUT ANY OPEN DOOR IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.
And won't return until they're good and ready.
Sometimes not even then.
Refuse to come, unless they want to.
Refuse to sit, unless they want to.
Refuse to stay, unless they're bored silly, and if so, that's the BEST time to move around to stir up the action anyway.
Refuse to stop barking, unless there's something in it for them, like a fabulous treat.
Refuse to do what you want at the PRECISE moment that it's most important that they do, like when you're trying to show off how obedient and well-trained they are. (Which is, of course, a grand delusion on your part.)
Nor, it seems, has anyone told you:
A Cairn can never, ever, ever be trusted off-leash, EVER.
Not even for a second. Regardless of how well-trained you have deluded yourself into believing he is.
That all the dogs you've had before and have trained so well don't matter, if they weren't Cairns.
Because Cairns are different.
Very different.
That they're generally NOT the best breed for a home with small children.
That one bears repeating: Cairns are generally NOT the best breed for a home with small children.
That Cairns WILL shed a little (or a lot) if you don't groom them properly.
That they're relatively resistant to housebreaking. (Don't expect them to be housebroken in a week, or even a month.)
And even when you think they're housebroken, if they've got something else on their agenda at the moment, they're likely to conveniently "forget".
That they are affectionate, on their terms, not yours.
That they are stubborn and hardheaded, not to mention incredibly independent.
That obedience training is a necessity, not a luxury. And that it's just the FIRST step in the process.
That you should read the previous sentence again and forget everything you think you know. If you haven't owned a Cairn, it doesn't apply.
That they were bred to hunt and kill, and their intense prey drive can NEVER be trained out of them. Toto may not have KILLED those flying monkeys, but that's only because Toto KNEW they were fakes. Otherwise, they'd have been dead, not merely outwitted.
What they SHOULD have told you is:
They're wonderful for THE RIGHT OWNER
They're loving, IF YOU LOVE THEM, TREAT THEM WELL, AND HAVE EARNED THEIR RESPECT.
They're smart, PROBABLY SMARTER THAN YOU.
They're sweet, WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
They're funny, VIRTUALLY ALL THE TIME, IF YOU ENJOY DEMENTED, DEVIOUS, DEVILISH HUMOR.
They're good with GOOD, WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN WHO HAVE GOOD, RESPONSIBLE PARENTS. And if they haven't had a bad experience previously with ill-behaved kids. Otherwise, it's a recipe for disaster.
They're strong.
They're hearty.
They're brave.
They're relentless.
They're devious.
They're insightful.
They're indomitable.
They're energetic beyond description.
They're intelligent beyond belief.
They're the BEST dog you'll ever own.
BUT they just may be the WORST dog you can imagine.

THAT PART IS ALL UP TO YOU!

Oh, and by the way, Toto was actually a GIRL!

I know you don't care.

"The Hills Have Eyes 2006" was awesome. Fun, fun, fun! Lots of messed up shit in that flick! It will never be the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it will be a DVD that I buy! I can't wait for the uncut version. If you have a squeamish stomach at all, don't go see it. If you are demented and cuckoo like me, don't wait another minute! Go now!

I took my stepson to see it. (It was HIS request, don't judge me.) His comment was, "That was messed." After the movie, when we were all standing by the car, this older woman (in her 50's or 60's) was all giddy and running (shuffling) through the parking lot in a pair of neon green flip-flops. She ended up running right towards us and getting into this Alfa Romeo waiting for her with her husband in it. She yells at us "Did you like the Hills movie?" (She had a foreign accent, Mexican I think.) She was laughing and jumping up and down. She exclaimed that she loved it so much, the gore and the blood and all of it was "so neat". It is so nice to know I am not the only wacko woman in the world. We talked to her for a while, totally amused. I told my stepson that if he wants to date, that his date has to go through "one night of horror films with me". If she screams and wimps out, he is not allowed to date her. If she has a good time, thumbs up! He said to me, "You aren't kidding, are you?" LOL.

In other news, there is no other news.

Holy Crap, He's 14.

My stepson just had a birthday. He is only two years away from the whole driving thing. God help us all.

They are making another one!

OH, SWEET MOMMA! October 2006, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning"

The Hills Have Eyes 2006

I am so excited to see this movie I can hardly stand it. It looks absolutely disturbing and brutal and I'm trying to find an advanced screening somewhere. I am one of those kooks you find at a horror convention, but really, I have a wide spectrum of interests. For instance, I also want to see "8 Below", a Disney movie based on a true story about doggies. So THERE. But getting back to the blood, WOW, loved the preview, and the stills provided are wonderfully horrifying! I have been disappointed in every horror flick I've seen since the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I'm *really* keeping my fingers crossed for this one. Jim is excited too, as we both are horror film fanatics. Him not as much as me, but still. What a perfect match we are.

Tube City, A Photo Essay

So, I've told you before how awesome my company is, right? Well, to celebrate a milestone they gave us last Friday off and took us up snow-tubing at a local ski resort. The awesomest part, though, was the OPEN BAR.

Some explanation is needed to fully appreciate the chaos that it was. I work with mostly boys. Crazy, adolescent, and very competitive boys. We broke every single rule and paid dearly for it. To start things off, here is the beautiful mountain. Yes indeed, it was a beautiful day. Beautiful and 6 whole frigging degrees. (-38 degrees with the wind-chill factor.) NEGATIVE 38 DEGREES. My world tends to hover between 40 and 75 all year 'round. This was quite a shock to my poor little system. Nevertheless, we tubed in pure ice. It doesn't look steep in the picture, but HOLY CRAP IT IS.

You really must pay attention to the signs in these pictures. One sign reads "No Loose Clothing, No Long Hair Exposed and No Scarves." Signs, Bah! I had on an unzipped coat, a scarf, my long hair blowing in the wind and an elf hat. (A snowboarding hat.) Up the rope tow I went. At the top, you are supposed to roll to your side off of the tube, then grab your tube and go down the hill. Well, my hat got caught in the rope tow, took it off my head, then the wind blew my hair around the rope tow cable, and around, and around and around it went. The rope tow is a constantly moving cable. The rope tow drug me by my hair up the mountain and bashed my head against the metal wheel pulley. I have never been so scared in all my life. I have never screamed so loud in my life. The rope tow took a chunk of my hair for a souvenir. That tuft of hair went 'round and 'round the rest of the day as a tidy little reminder of how much of a total and complete utter idiot I am. I also had a nice little goose-egg on my skull. No matter. A-tubing-I-will-go.

In the photos, you'll see me skidding to a stop in the ice, looking much like the Michelin Man (or the Pilsbury Dough Girl, whichever you prefer) with my four layers on, but also looking ever so girly in my forbidden pink scarf. Next, we have the "Please Stay Off the Walls" sign. But where's the fun in that? The operators called my coworker Phil's accident, "The best crash we've seen all season." Everyone survived, some of us were just more maimed than others. Phil has a broken rib, and I have a bald patch and a throbbing head. After all of our painful fun, I had many coffee nudges. Alcohol saves the day, again.

Post Valentine's Day and Other Shit

Well, the hubby and I finally got a romantic night together. I fixed him Schnitzel (his favorite) the night after Valentines, but we actually went out to dinner for the first time in months last Saturday. I had a gift certificate left over from Christmas that we used because otherwise we would just be digging through restaurant garbage bins.

We went to "Anthony's Home Port" on the waterfront. I got to face the beautiful sunset (because I'm the girl!) and sip on a glass of Syrah while Jim had a microbrew. We started with Calamari, then I had a blue cheese and baby shrimp salad, and he had the chowder. Then, I had top sirloin and coconut prawns and he had blackened rockfish. Pretty yummy. I finished with a Bailey's and coffee. The best part, of course. We skipped dessert because Jim insisted on stopping at Krispy Kreme. No complaint here! Yeah, I totally gained about 10 pounds in 1 night. Shut up.

I don't have the pics ready yet, so I'm postponing my post on snow-tubing with my company last Friday until later tonight. It was fun, there were injuries (including me of course) and I think we are all banned from the mountain. Stay tuned.

Why Now?

Prepare yourselves for a serious post, folks. I know.

I cut and paste the following information from the "AO Report". I thought it was interesting and it made me think.

Consider the following elemental facts/details that have, are or in the process of transpiring:

#1. The Iranian nuclear crisis, itself and all the wacky, radical statements the newly elected Iranian president has made. It's almost as if the guy is begging to be attacked. If you were trying to guide your nation to secretly develop nuclear weapons so badly that you could taste it, why would you make a string of statements that would so inflame the rest of the world that they would rise up to eliminate your nation's chance of achieving the goal of making nuclear bombs before your nation finishes the program development and have built up an inventory of bombs to protect yourself. It is almost as if the Iranian president wants to be stopped before the nation can succeed in being able to make nuclear bombs.
Something just doesn't quite add up in this crisis. We can't quite put our finger on it, but it just isn't quite right. Why provoke a fight before you are ready? Unless there's more to it than meets the eye? Maybe they already have a lot of nuclear weapons? Maybe, the rhetoric is a trap to lure America and then close it with a huge nuclear counterattack or a preemptive attack? Maybe it is a staged situation that allows Russia and China to nuke the USA? Or maybe its simply the newly elected Iranian president is not playing with a full deck of cards? Maybe the Iranian President doesn't have the sharpest pencils in the box? Maybe as a kid he watched too many 3 Stooges movies and moronism rubbed off on him instead of a talent for humor? Or maybe he's just a plain, old-fashioned, demonically possessed person? Why this guy? Why now?

#2. Osama bin Laden (OBL) out of the clear blue sky delivering an audio tape warning the USA of more attacks to come. Why now?

#3. Recent reports of Middle Eastern men attempting to purchase cheap throw-away cell phones from Walmart and other discount stores. Such phones can be used anonymously and thrown away. They cannot be traced. These were incidents reported in Texas and California by newswire reports and other major news media sources. These are facts if we are to believe the wire reports. Why now?

#4. A recent foiled attempt at the Canadian border to smuggle weapons and perhaps a bomb into the United States. This is a fact. The exact details however may be in doubt and it has mysteriously dropped off the major media's radar scope. Why now?

#5. Rumors of other terror incidents that were interdicted in the nick of time by US officials including possible WMD events. Such activities were halted, supposedly just in the nick of time. These are merely unsubstantiated rumors in and of themselves. We don't know if such rumors are/were true, but they'd surfaced in some circles in the past thirty days or so. Why now?

#6. Reports that the US government is conducting a second nuclear terror strike drill again focusing on a pretend nuclear terror event against Charleston, South Carolina, just like the one conducted in the summer of 2005. It is a three-day even scheduled for 1/31/06 thru 2/2/06. Keep in mind, that on 9-11 the U.S. was conducting several terror exercises simultaneously at the same moments that the real thing was happening. Was that accidental, or a case of synchronicity, or planned and staged to coincide by one or all parties concerned? Why now?

#7. Recent newswire reports of sudden US Air Force and National Air Guard units being suddenly and immediately deployed to the Middle East to undisclosed locations. These are facts. They cannot be denied. Why Now?

#8. DEBKAfile reports are citing especially reliable intel sources which have evidence that concludes Iran will be able now to make a nuclear bomb by the first of March. While DEBKAfile has been right on target on many occasions, their sources are not always correct. They are also reporting from their sources and also internal Iranian dissident sources that Iran will explode a nuclear bomb in the next 60 days or less. These Iranian insiders are also reporting that Iran is moving its long-range missiles into positions that put Israeli targets within range of those missiles. Furthermore, these missiles are mobile and are moved every night to avoid being sitting duck targets by US or Israeli air strikes. Why now?

#9. WorldNetDaily's Intelligence Report "G-2" is reporting that the USA and Israel will launch air strikes against Iran before April. Let me repeat that "before April." Why now?

#10. Israel's military and political leaders are making contradictory statements about the Iranian situation. One direction of comments states that Israel cannot allow Iran to have nuclear weapons and will do whatever is necessary to stop Iran. There are now opposite view statements. Some recent Israeli “intel” assessments concluded that Iran will pass the point of no return by the end of March. Those statements were followed by statements of Israel's readiness to attack preemptively if necessary. There were statements by Israel’s top leaders that Israeli forces have now finished preparations and training for strikes against Iran's nuclear facilities. All of these gung-ho for war statements can be painted against an earlier statement on Thursday (before the release of the Osama audio tape) by Israel's Army Chief of Staff. The top army general stated that it was not Israel's responsibility to attack Iran, but rather if an attack must occur that it be made by other nations, hinting that it should be the United Nations or some other joint venture of other nations. He made it clear that any military action on Iran should not be involving Israel. Now, why is this sudden reversal? Or is it a reversal? We find this to be an extremely curious dichotomy. Why now?

#11. We've also been privately informed as well as noted online reports in discussion forums of families unable to contact their loved ones serving in the military for the last few days. Also reports of sudden changes in orders and not being given permission to discuss their new assignments, suggesting that a possible, genuine military operation might be developing. We find this interesting, but on its own, it probably doesn't mean much, but we still ask the question, "Why Now?"

#12. The NWO crowd and the Bush administration is watching their plans for dictatorship starting to unravel over the inability to get the Patriot Act permanently renewed. Instead, it was temporarily extended until the end of January. Why the end of January? Also, the administration is coming under fire for revelations of illegal wiretapping and spying upon civilians by the CIA and NSA under Bush's direct orders. After all this time of crazy activity and the NY Times sitting on the story for a year, why release this information at this time? Why Now?

#13. In response to the Bin Laden message, Homeland Security held briefings with key officials of various state and local government leaders and Los Angelies has put that city's LAX airport under a heightened state of alert. Why Now?

#14. On 1-19-06, French President, Jacque Chirac warned that any terrorist nation that carried out a terrorist attack against France might be punished with French nuclear attack. Why Now?

#15. Iran's crazy president made a sudden visit Syria to meet with Syria's president to discuss the escalating nuclear crisis. Syria reaffirmed its support of Iran. Why now?

#16. Note that Russia and China Oppose US Military Action against Iran. Should a WMD attack against America by "terrorists" develop on the Continental United States, Russia and China could not oppose a military retaliation unless they were prepared to go to war against the United States. However, without such an event, Russia and China still seem bent on preventing any attacks on Iran, any time soon. Why? Why Now? They have a great economic stake in Iran plus any military strikes could release radioactivity that depending upon weather and wind currents could contaminate their nations.

#17. Iran is about to introduce a new economic threat to the United States. It is an Oil Commodities Exchange (called a bourse) where the trade of oil futures contracts could be made using the EU Euro currency instead of US dollars. Such a move could destroy the US economy within a matter of weeks or months, triggering the possibility of stock market crashes as well as bank collapses. There is some debate as to how much of a threat this would be to the US economy, but we think it could be enough of a risk as to alarm and threaten the power base of the Bush division of the NWO crowd. Why Now?

#18. Al Qaeda's number two man, Zaman al-Zawahiri filmed a video recently that was released on 01-06-06. Why Now? The release of this video, according to one very well-respected terrorism expert (who reportedly briefs US government leaders at a the highest levels) says that every second video by al-Zawahiri is followed within 30 days by a major Al Qaeda terror strike. This is significant because al Zawahiri released an earlier video back on October 23, 2005, so that the 01-06-06 video is the second video and thus is signaling another attack is imminent. The question is where in the world that attack will occur.

#19. This may seem a bit superfluous but the date of release for OBL's audio message is 1-19-06 or when reversed is 60- 91-1 or more significantly is 911. We mention this because there seems to be a pattern and fascination by the "terror" gang with occult numerology as found in Freemasonry and Illuminism. To us, this date suggests perhaps something ominous is developing. Why Now?

#20. 13 days before this latest OBL audio tape surfaced, OBL's #2 in command, Ayman al-Zawahiri's videotaped warning was released. That was on 01-06-06 or a difference of 13 days between the release of that tape and the OBL audio tape. 13 is an extreme-ly occult symbol of the Illuminati. 13 is perhaps the most critical number of all. Keep in mind, that Islam is a religion that at least on its surface is opposed to occultism. Why now?

#21. The highly popular and critically acclaimed, Oprah Winfrey television talk show devoted its show on Monday, 1/23/06 to Nuclear Terrorism and 1/24/06 devoted to the Bird Flu threat. The shows dealt primarily with how people can and should prepare for potential disasters. Why now?

Alas, my favorite holiday has arrived.

Let me just say this, Valentine's Day (VD) is not a REAL holiday because I have to go to work.

I woke up today in a foul mood. My account is overdrawn, I am running late, my lip is split, I can't walk because I have had to wait tables the last few days (got called from the old restaurant to pull some shifts) and my feet/calves/legs were not ready for it, I have a dentist appointment and I am working approximately 15 hours today. I will see my hubby for about 5 minutes when I get home, and then will commence to crashing on the bed from exhaustion, stress and general mental illness.

Oh, and I spilled my iced mocha (all 24 ounces of it) ALL. OVER. MY. SUV. which will now smell like sour milk. Have I ever told you how much I hate February, especially the 14th? Damn you to HELL February!

Piercing Eyes

Conversation I had with my husband this evening:

Me: How would you describe my eyes?
Jim: Piercing.
Me: Piercing?
Jim: Yes. Piercing.
Me: What the hell does that mean?
Jim: It means they are wise, intelligent, knowledgeable, intense, beautiful crystal-clear blue, and able to see through my bullshit. Piercing.
Me: Is that sexy?
Jim: Oh, hell yeah. Unless you are pissed.

Things Stressed Women Say At Work

-Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
-You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
-Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
-Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
-Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
-Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
-Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
-Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
-Do they ever shut up on your planet?
-Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
-Back off!! You're standing in my happy place.
-Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
-I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
-Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
-Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
-You look like shit. Is that the style now?
-Aw, did I step on your poor whiny-assed ego?
-I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
-If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
-Look in my eyes. Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?

Cuss-Fest 2006

The Seahawks would have won without the fascist fucking referees. So many bad calls. I don't even like football. That is all I have to say about that.

A Superbowl, A Windstorm and An Earthquake

Ah, there is indeed some excitement here in the Seattle area. As most of you know, the Seattle Seahawks are in their very first Superbowl this Sunday. This place has completely gone nuts, and it shows. I was watching the news the other night and some idiot from the word go was actually walking around downtown Seattle with 10 thousand dollars IN CASH in his pocket looking to pick up two tickets to the Superbowl. That's Seattle for you. I can't pay my power bill, and someone is going to drop 10K in cash on a stupid football game. Now, don't get me wrong, I am excited to watch history taking place, but COME ON. First there is the price of the tickets, then the airfare, then the hotels (which I hear are NOT reasonably priced for the event), then the parking (which I hear is around 100$) and then the food. Twenty bucks for a hotdog anyone? If I sold my house, I might be able to attend. Sheesh.

OK, now are you ready for some irony, or some Murphy's Law, or whatever the hell you want to call it? Yeah, we are supposed to get some crazy windstorm Saturday. They are predicting 40 mph winds with gusts possibly up to 70 mph. About a million men will be having heart attacks if we lose power and/or cable for the game. I will be laughing.

We also had a nice little earthquake yesterday. Only a 3.3, but it shook up some people. Fun, fun, fun!

Today

Today I saw a dead rat in front of a sandwich shop. I ate there anyway.

Today I am recovering from what I perceive as an exploded tumor in my head. Yesterday I had the worst migraine EVER. It sucked. No more tumors, please.

Today there are officially one hundred billion things on my 'want' list, and I officially have no money and a ruined credit report. SHIT.

Today I wanted to jump rope, but I am too afraid of my tumor coming back.

Today I am having an acne breakout on my chest, and I only own scoop-necks, V-necks, and general shirts that make non-boobie-having-asses jealous. Awesome.

My Next Adventure in Reading

Midlife Mamas On The Moon. I can't find a negative review ANYWHERE. I am especially excited about this concept, "Lose Weight with your Eyeballs", LOL.