Things Stressed Women Say At Work

-Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
-You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
-Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
-Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
-Do I look like a fucking people person to you?
-Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
-Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
-Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
-Do they ever shut up on your planet?
-Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet!
-Back off!! You're standing in my happy place.
-Don't worry. I forgot your name too.
-I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
-Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
-Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
-You look like shit. Is that the style now?
-Aw, did I step on your poor whiny-assed ego?
-I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
-If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
-Look in my eyes. Do you see one ounce of gives-a-shit?