Back to Self-Induced Chaos

As much as I care about John, he has not brought up "exclusivity", and given that I see him only once or twice a month, I refuse to sit around and wait. It's been a year. Plus, I have no clue what he is out doing; I don't ask, and he doesn't say. In the meantime, I am back in the dating game full speed ahead. I went out with Tony last Sunday who drove all the way from San Diego to take me to an Italian dinner, then Starbucks, then bowling, then In and Out burger at midnight. (We were hungry again, LOL!) He called last night and wants to go out again. My next date is with Paul, he is taking me out to dinner as well for a first date. Kevin, who I went out with a couple of times last summer has reappeared and wants to see me. I don't know, we'll see, he only seems interested in one thing. I have been emailing back and forth with Alex, but I think he is looking for a submissive and docile "lady", and well, let's all laugh together, shall we?

So, in a nutshell, I'm having a really good time, I am meeting all kinds of interesting people, and not sitting at home pouting, that's for sure! It would be nice to be in a committed relationship and fall in love, but until that happens, let the good times roll! I've never really been able to do what I want, when I want at any other time in my life, so I think I need this 'rite of passage' right now.

Some fun things I just bought.

Little peasant top.

Off-the-shoulder top.

Beach tee.

Going-out-dancing-shoes.

Photos of Irish food, my wild night & a juice cleanse!

Corned Beef, Cabbage and Potatoes!

Irish Soda Bread and Guinness beer!

Having a good time at Crow's

Fun with new friends

2-day Juice cleanse!  Bring me the toilet!!

St. Paddy's Day, George, John and Holy Shit Mode

I get myself in trouble. More about that in a minute, though, let's talk about food! After a crazy all-nighter and getting home at 8 am in the morning, I took a nap and then my mom and I went up to Cath's (my Godmother) and she made us an Irish feast! Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, soda bread and Guinness beer! It was sooo good and I was starving so I stuffed myself.

George. So, George has texted and emailed me every day since we met. Awesome. Too bad he lives so far away, right? But in the last few months, guess who has been very attentive and wonderful? John. Of course. I just realized we have been seeing each other for almost a year now, how time flies! I’m not sure exactly what changed, but he is different with me all of a sudden. Still sweet and fun, but a lot more intense and serious with the emotions. So intense in fact, that I’m in “holy shit” mode.

We stayed out all night (per usual) on Friday, going to our favorite dive bar, “Crow’s Cocktails” and having a crazy, fun time. We met some people there (as always) and we were all laughing, slamming shots and dancing along with the Jukebox well into the wee hours of the morning until they kicked us out. We hung out for a while afterward, talking and sobering up, then, it started raining softly. I told him I should be getting home, but he said, “Let’s take a walk”. So, we took a romantic walk in the rain holding hands. Then something happened that was so unexpected, I almost choked on my own spit. He said the “L” word. Yes, that one. HOLY SHIT MODE. John does not let that word fly around haphazardly like some guys. Not at all. It is something I never actually expected to hear from him, even after a night of drinking. I don’t think he expected it either. Then came this:

John: “You are so great. You are the greatest woman I have ever met. Really.”

Me: “Oh, how so?” (Smiling; heart pounding; not yet recovered from the L word.)

John: “You are so sweet, fun and easy to be around. You aren’t all emotional and scattered and moody and annoying like every other woman I know, everyone loves you. I watch you. I watch men talk to you all night long in the bar, they aren’t trying to get laid, they know you are with me, but they are drawn to you, they ignore the women they are with because you are more interesting and fun to talk to. You don’t clamor for attention; everyone just comes to you naturally. It makes me smile, knowing you are with me. She’s with me! I watch you, then I start to think, Hey! Wait a minute! I want to talk to her; I want to be next to her! That’s my Cheryl! Everybody step aside!  I really appreciate that you don’t act jealous or get all pissy when I am running late. You are awesome. And I love you. And I want to be with you all the time.”

Um, what do I do now?

After just being together for 11 hours, he called me after 5 hours of sleep. I didn’t hear my phone ring the FIRST THREE TIMES HE TRIED TO CALL leaving two voicemails. (What is going on?) I groggily answered the fourth phone call. And then we talked for 2 hours. Somebody help me, here. His business is going really well right now, and he also said this perplexing little statement in passing “I am changing some things in my life; I am in transition.” WTF does that mean?

WOW.

I Just Couldn't Help Myself

I was resistant to remaining on "online dating" sites any longer, but I kept myself on one of them just for the hell of it. Out of 1004 emails over the last year on this one site (whew!) I have only responded to maybe 5 of them. Yeah, I'm pretty picky. One came along the other day, and even though he is older than the men I usually date, he is OH SO SEXY, and distinguished! Seriously ladies, don't you think so? To hell with George Clooney, this George makes my heart race when I talk to him! He is very well spoken and responsive to me, however he lives in Northern California (damn it!) but we are still getting to know each other anyway. Those eyes, sigh. You never know.

The guy before him that contacted me revealed in his 5th email that he had a girlfriend but was definitely interested in "occasional and discreet" naughty fun. DIRT BAG. And people wonder why women (especially me) have trust issues. However, instead of being mean and going off on him, I simply said, "Oh, too bad, my sexual appetite is just too strong for occasional and discreet." LOL, I can't help it. I feel sorry for his girlfriend, this is why I stay unattached and have backups. Ha!

Moonstruck

Driving home from work tonight, the biggest moon I've ever seen emerged. The pictures I took when I got home don't even come CLOSE to how it really looks. I feel like I could just reach out and touch it. I wish I could capture just how gorgeous it is, but I am no professional photographer, and my equipment is lacking. My Nikon does well, but this truly is a sight.

While I had the camera out, thought I would take a few pics of the pups. Maggie and my mom's dog, Molly. Okay, I'm hungry, gotta go. Ciao!

Peace, Quiet and Sunshine

I just spent two glorious days in utter and complete bliss. I have been laying in the 85-degree sun reading in my backyard, loving on my dog, swimming in my pool and just "being". I feel incredibly relaxed. Bills are paid, work is at work and my brain is happy and stress-free. This is the good life. Right here, right now.

There was a slight breeze as I laid down on my sunning chair just after getting out the pool. The sun felt so good on my skin and as the pool water dripped down my back from my wet hair, it kept me cool. I could smell my mom's jasmine in the planter behind me. I watched Maggie stretch her back legs out behind her as she soaked in the scene as well. The only noise was my pool heater humming, which makes me smile.  No one was bothering me, asking me questions, wanting things from me. Peace.  I found it.