The Sultan Chainsaw Massacre

OK, already! Here's some pictures from our Halloween fright. Leatherface, in sneakers!

Hair victory!

I found a place at the last minute that was willing to do a foil for me! They are also willing to stay late at night! (Foils take, like, 3 hours on my long hair.)

I think I'm gonna buy new shoes, too. Aren't they CUTE? I have all these girlie, pretty shoes, and then just my regular sneakers. I needed something a little retro.

Hair Stress

Trying to schedule a foil one day ahead of time at 5 pm is IMPOSSIBLE. I've called like, 20 places. I have a hair emergency. (This is how my finances go awry.) My blonde hair is looking mousy, and in order to look good for my Halloween party, I must have a foil by tomorrow, DAMIT. I even re-scheduled my training session for this. You gotta have priorities.

Jim is all out of sorts because he can't get the chainsaw to start for our little tribute to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Friday night. All these little problems we have.

Whew!

OK, got my period. Must have been premenstrual eating disorder. Back on track today. My boss is out of town this week! Woohoo! PARTY! Not. That just means I have double work to do, except that I am writing in my blog instead of doing it.

I read something very inspirational recently. Did you know that Walt Disney was fired from a job for not being "creative enough" and then he had to claim bankruptcy twice before he built Disneyland? Wow! There is hope for me yet! My finances are always in shambles. I pay my bills on time and everything, but I have this incredible debt hanging over me that just won't go away no matter how many jobs I have. It's the spending thing. The more you make, the more you spend. I need to have someone just beat me over the head. Maybe Skwigg could help? Ha! All I'd have to do is sneak up on her, and POW! I wouldn't be able to spend for weeks! :)

I may be pregnant

I just ate a giant chocolate chip muffin from Costco with fat free butter and asteroids (spicy Cheeto balls), then washed it all down with a Corona. I found it generally tasty, but I'm still hungry. If I'm not pregnant, I think I may have other issues.

Sunday Pychosis

Holy crap. I just spent WAY too much money. I think I have a spending problem. Scrapbook stores are very dangerous for me. I am designing a journal cover, and the supplies I had to have cost triple what the actual journal did. Oh well. Then there are the clothes. Every time I lose, like, 5 pounds, it is an excuse to buy more clothes. Then, because I was so tired from shopping, I had to eat out. (of course). My evil boss at the restaurant brought in M&M's for us last night while we were working. She said we could have a handful every time we sold 100$. Apparently, I sold about $4000. So much for the 5 pounds.

If you don't mind a little comedic cussing and a raw sense of humor, I just peed my pants from rolling around on the floor laughing at the website (Dooce) I just found. Go to the "How to annoy me" section. I died. Also check out the "How to charm me" section, the very first entry on that one sent me into a fit of laughter where my stomach cramped so hard, I couldn't breathe. I admire people who can be that painfully honest. What a hoot!

Permission to NAP

I found the coolest thing today. They are called "Permission Cards" and they were created by a cool chick named Keri Smith. I clicked on the bowl, and I have permission to NAP!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

A Scary Thought

Apparently, my dream means that there is a conflict going on between my naughty and devious side, and my inner moral standards. Hmmmmm...THAT'S a scary thought.

My Dream

I am going to get personal today and tell you about my dream. I have been having very vivid and memorable dreams lately and I'm wondering what it all means. (If there are any dream analysts out there, please feel free to email me.)

I dreamed that my husband and I were police officers again. (It has been almost 10 years, and neither one of us has the desire to go back.) We were investigating the homicide of a woman, apparently a wife and mother. We knocked on the husband's door, and he let us in. We were also being "graded" by our superiors. This was a test for us or something, but it was real. The man was not acting like anything was wrong. He was acting like his wife was still alive. We looked around, talked to his weird son, and then left. We came back later to eat dinner, but we were actually trying to secretly investigate. The weird thing was, we were in uniform, but we did not have our guns. Some woman was there posing as his wife, and it was obvious that he had changed all the pictures in his house to her picture. All family members were there, and everyone was in on the lie. I went to the bathroom, and wiped out the bathroom garage can with Windex? Then, when I came out, the man came after me very violently swinging his fists. I ran away. Actually, I just ran around the house and told him to chill out. He did. We left. My husband and I smiled at each other because we now knew that the husband was the killer and we had probable cause to go back and arrest him. We had to go get our guns first, though. :)

My dreams usually NEVER make sense like this, most often they are nonsense. I have not watched any cop-type programs or movies lately, and I don't recall thinking about my time as a cop recently. Weird, huh?

Toilet Boy

One more post today and I'll shut up. I had to put this picture up. Louie is hilarious when I chase him down for his bath. Just don't look at my dirty toilet.

A Sign

I went to cheat and have a cigarette AND some pizza today, and this is what happened:

I lit the wrong end of the cigarette and choked and burned my finger. (For any of you who have done this know how toxic and disgusting this is.)

I went to take a big bite of pizza and all the toppings slid off onto my shirt.

If that isn't a sign, I don't know what is.

Just another little tidbit for you. I somehow channel surfed onto Fear Factor last night, which I never watch. (I hate reality shows, and the like.) They had 2 girls and 2 guys putting COW EYEBALLS in their mouth without hands, then popping the juice out of them into a glass until filled to a certain level, then DRINKING the eyeball juice. OK, YUCK. Who in the hell wants to watch that? They were only getting 50 thousand bucks, and that is only if they win! I wouldn't do that for a million! I like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, yes, but that is NOT REAL. I was so grossed out that I thought I was gonna barf up my chili. Those are some seriously macho women, I tell ya. I thought I was tough because I can lift more weight than most of the guys in the gym and I've jumped out of an airplane, but if I had to go anywhere near my mouth with cow eyeballs, suddenly all my tough-girlness would vanish into a sea of barf, and then I would probably do the "Oh, ick!" dance and spend an hour drinking and gargling mouthwash. I've even seen dead bodies when I interned for the police department. I handled THAT.

New Shoes

I bought new shoes yesterday. The heel on my old shoes broke off. I loved those shoes so much that I wore them until they fell off my feet, literally. My new shoes are shiny and hip, and they are GIVING ME BLISTERS. They are leather, but they need to be broken in. They are a good brand, cost me a fortune, and when I tried them on, they felt great, until today. I have a horrible time with new shoes, that is why I procrastinate buying new ones until it is absolutely critical. I am supposed to work at the restaurant tonight in them, but I think I may have to find another pair to wear until these ones have been worn a little more because I am walking like Frankenstein. The leather is stiff. Yikes, I didn't know I could write this much about a stupid pair of shoes.

It is raining like hell here, lots of flooding. Thankfully, I live on a hill. This sucks when it snows, though. OH! and I almost forgot to tell you! I purchased a "Leatherface" mask yesterday for Halloween. My husband is going to wear it and scare all the little kiddies in the neighborhood! Hehehe, I'm evil, aren't I? We are borrowing a chainsaw without a chain, too! OOOHHH the joy of seeing terrorized children, it will be like my own little haunted house. I'm not sure what I'm going to be yet. Leatherface's wife, I guess. I'll get my nails done and painted black, maybe wear an Elvira wig or something. I don't know.

Crazydogmama's Movie Reviews

Miss me? Ok, it is time to start doing movie reviews. I watch TONS of movies. Not just at the theatre, but I get movies every week from Netflix. I don't watch a whole lot of regular television, just a couple of sitcoms. I consider myself a movie-watching pro. I like some stupid movies, and I like some great movies, but I know the difference between the two and I'll give you my honest opinion. Here goes:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Remake 2003)
I must admit, I LOVED IT! Is it going to win an academy award? No. Does it have stellar acting? No. BUT, what a fun ride! Lots of gross stuff, lots of running and screaming, and it wasn't "stupid" like most horror movies over the last decade have been. The acting wasn't actually that bad, just not the best I've ever seen. I wanted the good guys to get away. (Not usual for me.) The picked-up-on-the-side-of-the-road girl dilemma was a great touch. Some really good cinematography on that one. My husband and I held hands during the movie, and yes, he liked it too. They could have done better, yes, but I will be buying the DVD when it comes out. Some other favorite horror movies (and thrillers) of mine: Texas Chainsaw Massacre (original), Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Silence of the Lambs, Poltergeist, The Exorcist, Aliens 2, The Thing (remake).
Rating: 4 stars out of 5

Cabin Fever
What a disappointment. I was excited to see this one, but it was lame as hell. Too predictable, not scary, and not enough originality. REALLY BAD acting. The gross parts were even fakey. I wanted all the characters to die. They were irritating. Oh well.
Rating: 1 star out of 5

House of 1000 Corpses
Also disappointing. Rob Zombie could have done better. The DVD has some great stuff on it, however. I will probably buy the DVD just for the intro and the extra features. I wrote in a previous blog entry about this. The killings weren't original, it wasn't scary, and the ending blew. It did have some good lines and a few good moments, though. The characters were great, very memorable. I wanted the bad guys to win in this movie, they were more fun.
Rating: 2 1/2 stars out of 5

Identity
I love John Cusack, so I had to see this movie. It wasn't bad. It was interesting to watch, and the plot twist was original and unpredictable. I didn't like it enough to buy it, but I enjoyed going to see it.
Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Thirteen
Acting was really good in this one. The fact that it was based on a true story (one of the actors was the real-life girl whose story it is) made it enjoyable. I would never have believed it otherwise. Makes you not want to be a parent. I recommend the movie for a rental.
Rating: 3 1/2 stars out of 5

Igby Goes Down
I watched this movie a week ago, and I couldn't tell you what it was about. Some disturbed guy, or something. Not memorable, just weird. Good soundtrack.
Rating: 1 star out of 5

Adaptation
Not for everyone, but I liked it. Good acting, but the storyline was odd. Nicholas Cage plays a very different part in this one. I think he should stick to movies like "Raising Arizona".
Rating: 3 stars out of 5

That's it for now, more to come later.

Busy Day Ahead

The audit is FINALLY over! We didn't do so well, but it wasn't as bad as I originally thought it was going to be. Whew! Wednesday sucked bigtime. I was so exhausted and overwhelmed. I did smoke a little *sigh*, but I did AWESOME this week (for me). Maybe cold turkey will work next week. ;) Diet is going pretty well, I'm eating my tenderloin beef, Granny-Smith apple with peanut butter, and water right now. Getting ready for my training session at 1. THEN, and THENNNN, I'm going to see Texas Chainsaw! I'm dragging Jim to it at 3. I haven't been this excited for a movie since Signs. I think there is something wrong with me. No one else is excited that I know, and I'm getting those "You are psycho" looks today. Oh well, that really isn't anything new. After the movie, I am going to a "Stampin' Up" party to make holiday cards. So, SEE, I'm kinda normal, right? I guess, though, doing those two things in the same day make me look like a split personality or something. ANYWAY, I will do some movie reviews in the next blog post (whether you want me to or not) so stay tuned. CrazyDogMama the movie critic is off to work.

They're all gone!

No more cigarettes. Gone. Holy crap. The only thing keeping me going right now is the fact that I got on the stupid scale this morning and I was down 3 pounds from last week. Yay! I gotta keep my mind on progress.

While I was in the shower this morning, Louie stuck his head in and started licking my leg. After the terror of wondering what the hell that was, I was delighted by the gesture. It's like he knows what I am going through. Louie is usually the macho, independent type, but when I am stressed, or sad or upset in any way, he is so cuddly and affectionate.

Found a Good Idea!

It may sound a little cheesy, but I like it! I read about this idea this morning: to list 10 things I'm thankful for really fast. (Thank you Keri and Penelope.) Here goes:

1. That I can play on the internet while I'm at work.
2. Fall weather.
3. The looks my doggies give me when I am talking to them.
4. My husband and his sense of humor.
5. My digital camera.
6. Lexapro.
7. That my parents live close and like to be around me.
8. That everyone I know is rooting for me and my desire to become a freelance writer.
9. That I can eat steak on my diet (it is a bodybuilder's diet).
10. That I can go to the gym on my lunch break instead of in the morning or at night.

Whew! There are so many things, it was hard to narrow it down.

Oh, and for any other horror fanatics out there, the remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre comes out Friday!!! I am so excited! Cabin Fever sucked, or as my husband said, "wallowed in lameness". The TCM remake will be better (I hope) than that movie, but nothing can compare to the original. I will let you know.

The Challenge is On!!!

As I write this morning, I have food all around me. I have my 1/2 cup of old-fashioned oatmeal with Splenda, my 5 egg whites with low-carb salsa and my 1/2 cup of fat-free yogurt (strawberry!). My boss just came into my office and said "Looks like dinner, not breakfast!" Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys can make fun all you want. I am going to have a "10" week. My trainer has me rate my week between 1 and 10. 10 being eating/working out like a champ with no cheating, and 1 is lost total control and ate everything in sight. My weeks have been bordering on 3's lately. I want to not only win this challenge I'm doing, but I want to get my head back on straight. The smoking thing is going OK, today I will officially run out of cigarettes. My husband is going to attempt to quit with me, so this might get a little ugly. When I'm feeling stressed and cranky at home, my plan is to get the boxing gloves on and go wail on the punching bag. Hopefully I will make it to the garage and not start wailing on Jim. :) Wish me luck!

The Weekend is Here!

The audit is still not over, but I have a reprieve until Tuesday. Gotta work at the restaurant Fri and Sat, but at least I get to sleep in. Louie and Maggie miss their momma when she is working too much. My coordinated husband fell off the loading dock at work this week and hurt his back, so now I have a whiny little boy at home too. When men are sick or hurt, they are impossible. ANYWAY, I was rocking back and forth in the corner yesterday, mumbling things.

Here is a picture of Maggie (a.k.a. MAGALOPE) doing her "jumping" thing.

STRESS-O-RAMA

Yes, it is stress-factor-four around here. Not only am I running around for the audit I told you about in the last post, but my trainer has informed me that to win this contest I am entering, it is imperative to quit smoking. Smoking apparently messes up your metabolism. Crap. I knew it messed up your lungs, but YOUR METABOLISM TOO? Double-crap. Guess I gotta quit. I was completely bitched out by two trainers, actually, because they smelled smoke on me. (I guess no one knew previously.) I have quit before, but I always seem to go back to it because I love to smoke. See, eating healthy is easier because I get to HAVE bad food once in a while, but with the no-smoking thing, I NEVER get to have a cigarette again. Oh my. Crazydogmama will be cranky for a bit. WATCH OUT.

It's going to be a fun week. NOT.

So, I get to work this morning ready for a nice, normal week, nothing hectic. Yeah, right. My boss tells me that we have an FDA audit on Thursday. SURPRISE! FDA audits are about as much fun as sticking toothpicks up your fingernails. They are very stressful because the FDA can shut a company down. Without getting into the specifics of what I do (it will bore you to death) I can just say this, don't expect a whole lot of posting this week. Ugghh. I will be working OT because of the audit, and on top of that, I am scheduled to work all weekend at the restaurant. I am also starting a new challenge, instead of BFL, I am doing a MAXFORMATION through Max Muscle. That is where my trainer works. So much for relaxing, huh? Make way for SUPER- CRAZYDOGMAMA.

The kids are home and Dogmama is happy!

 

All went well at the vet. Doggy teeth are sparkly. I really like the whole "groggy" thing, they are so mellow! They are normally so spazzy, so it is nice. I took a picture of them when we got home. Here are the dopey doggies.

I'm Nervous

Louie and Maggie are going in for their dentals on Friday. Anytime they have to be anesthetized I get real nervous and panicky. They will have fresh breath again, though! It is also going to cost a fortune. I swear, I will never get ahead in my finances, there is always something pay for! It is Murphy's law that if you get extra money set aside, something will break, blow up or need cleaning. Just for fun, take a look at those choppers!