My New Friend

Mario is the best! He is so funny and super sweet. We were so chatty and laughing so hard that when I looked at my phone it was 2 am! I gave him a big hug and told him it was so nice to meet him, and he said, "That sounds weird". I asked him why and he said, "Because I feel like I've known you all my life!". Aww. We did hit it off and as soon as he gets the job where I work (I hope) we are going to hit D-Land in style. I tried to take his pic, and this is the best I could get because Mr. Model is SHY. We sat out on his balcony for a long while in the nice warm summer eve talking about everything. I got him an interview for Monday.

Today I'm out with a friend for her birthday and then will be chatting with my honey the rest of the evening. BTW, the sunsets are incredible here!

I am a completely paranoid, insecure freak.

OK, it is official. What happened? Texas Guy (Gary) and I have been, I guess what you call, developing a long-distance relationship. We talk on the phone, email, chat on Yahoo, send pics back and forth, etc. (BTW, he has the most adorable German/English accent EVER, he just moved to Texas from London; born in Germany.) It is sort of getting serious rather quickly. (Hence my fear, paranoia and running shoes ready.) Last night we were chatting on Yahoo and the conversation was getting very intense. It was going great and then he asked me something that I didn't know how to respond to (afraid I guess), and I paused for about 2 minutes before writing a response. (Usually, it is a very quick exchange.) Before I had a chance to send it, he disappeared from chat. At first, I thought he just got kicked offline or something and I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. I tried text messaging him to make sure nothing happened. Nothing. I called. Nothing. He ALWAYS answers my calls. I emailed. Nothing. About 2 hours later I'm figuring I blew it. He asked me something important and I didn't respond. I threw my hands up and said, "Well that's it! He's gone." I woke up at about 6 am which would be 8 am his time. Checked email, phone, nothing. Shit. Slammed my head into the wall and told the dogs I am hopeless. I hopped in the shower. While I was in the shower, I hear my phone ding. I get out. Then my phone rings. It's Gary. He is panicked. Long story short he lost power due to a Texas storm and his daughter had his cell phone. He was all worried he has lost ME! I was so relieved. We laughed about how insecure we both were, and all is good in CrazyDogMama land. For now.

I'm going to hang out with my new friend tomorrow (Mario), my kindred spirit in humor. He makes me laugh so hard I can't breathe. He also loves Disneyland so now I have someone to go with regularly. I got him an interview at my company because his contract job is almost up, and we are going to have margaritas tomorrow while I walk him through our interview process. I need him to have money so we he can afford Disneyland you see. LOL! I know what you are thinking, but seriously, as gorgeous as he is, he is not my type nor am I his type romantically. Typically, our conversations go like this:

Him: "Did you eat your oatmeal with protein powder?"
Me: "No"
Him: "Why not?"
Me: "No time. Grabbed a coffee instead."
Him: "Damnit woman! Then you will add 30 minutes to your workout today."
Me: "I'm not working out today."
Him "Yes you are."
Me: "No I'm not. I have cramps."
Him: "Oh for fuck's sake."
Me: "I do! And I'm still sore from yesterday's workout!"
Him: "I don't care, get your lazy ass up."
Me: "Bite me."
Him: "Don't tempt me."
Me: "Bring it!"

LOL!!

A conversation I recently had with Gary:

Me: "So what are you going to do with your house in London?"
Him: "I don't know yet, we can decide that later."
Me: (choking on my coffee) "We?"
Him: "Well, yeah."

Minute to Minute

Something not so good happened. Well I don't really know what happened. I was going to post about it, but then decided not to. I really get tired of living sometimes. Things change minute to minute around here. Maybe I'll post later when I figure out what the hell.

The Texas Guy

OK so things are going well! Texas guy and I (ha that rhymes!) are doing splendidly (I have his picture as my phone's background, LOL) and I think I just met a guy that will probably become my best friend. I met him on a dating site, but after much talking and texting, we are not necessarily a romantic match, but we get along so great! I just finished a two-hour phone conversation with him, and we are going to hang out on Saturday. He lives at Huntington Beach, but he is from TEXAS. Of course. He is a body builder and an ex-model (I know!) but we made a deal, he is going to whip me into shape, and I am going to show him how to be friendly. I know that sounds weird, but he says he hates it here and he hates all the people here. I told him he just needs a different outlook and if he projects friendliness, he will start to love it here like I do. (He moved here recently too.) We are having completely different experiences and I am convinced it is his attitude. He said he trusts my advice, and I trust his, so we have a deal. I have a bizarre life, don't I? LOL. My love interest however asked me today what he could do to win my heart. He said he would do anything. OMG. Melt.

Eggs in a Basket

I don't know whether to be excited or scared. When things seem too good to be true I want to run. I guess I just keep going along and see what happens, not putting all my eggs in one basket. I guess when the right one comes along, he'll stay.

I'm in trouble.

He is for real. Mr. Texas and I have been talking non-stop since we met. He TURNED OFF HIS DATING PROFILE because he only wants to talk to me now. We know each other's life stories and neither of us ran eventhough we both have a sad tale to tell. He is perfect (to me). Oh Lord, what do I do? I've made myself vulnerable. He has too. I can't think! I can't remember the last time I felt this way. Have I ever felt this way? How did this happen so soon after joining that site? I thought I'd be sifting for months/years! I'm scared, but feeling ALIVE and HAPPY at the same time. I don't know where this is going or what will happen, but I'm stunned. And I can't wait for his call and email today. I am supposed to have a date on Sunday with someone else and I don't even care.

Am I Worthy?

So this poor dude drove all the way down from Lake Elsinore in this old convertible corvette (he restores old muscle cars/sports cars, etc.) to meet me near my house, and his alternator pops, leaving him stranded on the freeway. He calls me all upset. I'm telling him no worries, to just make sure he is OK and getting help. He tells me he will have the car towed back home, grab another car and come back out to meet me later in the evening. What a sweetheart! I told him that wasn't necessary, and that I would be happy to go out with him next weekend. He was so thrilled I wasn't mad. (Who would be mad? That's crazy.) He told me he wanted to grab coffee and if we hit it off, he wanted to drive me to the beach in his convertible and get our feet wet. Dang it! It's funny that he tells me his plans "if" we hit it off. Why would you tell your date that ahead of time? Men are silly! LOL! So now that is the plan for next Sunday. Now I'm worried I will disappoint him with my big ass and won't get taken to the beach. :-( In the meantime, I am totally enthralled with two other men with whom I am exchanging emails. I am liking the Texas guy a little too much. OMG he is a doll and a hottie. What the hell is he talking to me for? The more I tell him what is wrong with me, the more he likes me. (Yes, I am a total idiot and do that sort of thing so that I don't mislead anyone.) Then the other one is just absolutely adorable and tells me he will gladly relocate to be near me if I'm really for-real! These guys are telling me what a "find" I am. WTF? I am SO not used to this! Not so long ago I wasn't good enough for anybody. Feast or famine, SHEESH.

Postponed

Well my date got postponed to later this evening, but I have been chatting and answering emails ALL day! This is fun! Who knew? I should have done this a LONG time ago. Most of the guys I've been chatting with are local, but of course the ultimate hottie with lots of other awesome qualities is in TEXAS. What is with Texas? I have had more hits from Texas than anywhere else. Apparently, I am attractive to Texans. Maybe it's the big hair. LOL!

I'm all giddy dancing around the pool like a fruitcake.

Coffee Date

Double OMG! I have a coffee date in a few hours. Head spinning, heart racing. What the hell do I wear to a Java chip Frappuccino date? (His words!) I just tripped over myself. Good grief.

Match.com

Um, Match.com is AMAZING! I've had more interest in 24 hours than in the last year on the other sites! I'm already engaged in two intriguing conversations with very handsome and successful men! Now THIS is more like it! ;-)

Time to Switch

I fell asleep in the sun and now I'm burnt on my chest. What a tard. I break out in welts when I lay in the sun too long. OUCH. So now I can't sleep. I've been online and now its time for my nightly swim. The dogs keep following me around in circles, it's funny, they get confused when I pace. So much for my "not going to date for a year". I just switched dating sites since the other one was frustrating the crap outta me. I don't think they had great quality men on that site to tell you the truth. I swear "Christian" sites have the most judgmental assholes I've ever met. I love the Lord with ALL of my heart and I don't think anyone I met there would know God if he bit them on the ass. (I sound so Godly don't I? LOL) So I cuss a little...I'm a Christian, not Christ. So I joined Match.com. They have a guarantee! Ha. I will hold them to it.

Chillin' Today

Lou likes to lay in the sun with me. :-) Mags explores the yard. Doing nothing but relaxing, swimming, sunning and blogging. Going to make some iced tea. My mom is out with friends.

I've also decided that when my house sells (if it ever does), I'm going to celebrate and take myself to New Orleans. I really want to go there. Even if I have to go by myself. Just things I'm thinking about today.

Mom

OMG my mother almost set the house on fire. So, at about 5 am I woke up to the smell of burning plastic. At first, I thought my new air conditioner was pooping out, but no. It was a really strong smell accompanied by a little smoke. Neat. So, I called my mom. Why get out of bed? LOL. She sheepishly answered. I said "Ma, is the house on fire?" (I'm not a Panicker) She said "Um, not anymore." I told her the smell was choking me. She told me not to come down to the living room, and then nervously giggled. Yes, my mother. She got a kick out of the fact that I called her from my bedroom. Well fuck, it was 5 am on a Saturday! I rolled over and went back to sleep. ;-) She is going to be pissed I wrote about this on my blog. Hehe.

ALREADY?

Halloween candy already? Really? Holy cow. Now I want some! OK, the "killer" pack has Reses, Milky Way, Twix and Whoppers. Score!

The Good Life

Better day today. I think one of my favorite things in the whole world is swimming at night looking at the stars. I know I mention it a lot, but it really is the coolest thing, especially when it is hot. It is refreshing, peaceful and fun. I am trying to make it a nightly routine before it cools off too much to do it. Although knowing me, I will do it anyway.

Made sweet and sour chicken stir fry tonight and it turned out pretty good. Work has been making me crazy, but I left ON TIME today and did NOT take my laptop with me. It is hard. I am a perfectionist, and it takes time to make things right. I am missing my friends from home and my old co-workers, but I am making some new friends too. It takes time. Life has certainly changed a lot for me, and I am trying to take in each moment. The last few days got the better of me, but I have to remember how far I've come. All of this has not been easy. Things aren't exactly the way I want them quite yet (they never will be) but I am learning to just "be". A hard thing for a girl like me to do. I have a fantasy I allow myself to think on once in a while, but reality is what you make it, so I have to be careful with that. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but you'll be the first to know!

Avoiding the doctor.

I think I know why I've been so grumpy, besides being overworked. I'm stressed, my house isn't selling, and I've been avoiding the doctor. I got a call on the move down saying I needed testing right away and I haven't done it. Guess I better get on that. Haven't been feeling that great.

Good riddance to a bad day.

Okay, I went right to bed after my last entry feeling exhausted and frustrated. (To say the least!) I just woke up, can't sleep anymore. It is muggy and hot, so I am going to go downstairs to have some orange juice, take a swim and watch the sunrise with the pups. I want to start today out on a positive note.

Day from Hell

HELL. Traffic was a nightmare. I had an appointment with the DMV to get my Cali license and I circled the parking lot for 45 minutes trying to get a parking space to no avail missing my appointment and leaving me cussing. I spilled my lunch down the front of my WHITE blouse, everything I touched at work had a problem, our electronic doc system went down and I lost my work, nobody would leave me alone, even when I tried to sit and have a coffee, the dinner I cooked turned out like shit and I want to know where in the holy hell my knight in shining armor is that is supposed to rescue me from all of this? I would love to just fall into his arms right now. I'd have better luck winning the lotto I think. BLAH!

The capper for the day: I stopped at a little mini mart on the way home. There were 3 punk kids blocking the door harassing people. Normally I would take the safe route and drive to another one, but not today. I was in NO mood to be any more inconvenienced. I got out of my car with a ball point pen in my hand, slammed the door, walked over to the entrance like my feet were mad at the ground (with high heels on) sporting a pissed-off look on my face. The three punks looked over my way, backed away from the door and didn't utter a peep. Smart of them. I was ready to jam that pen into someone's neck if anyone tried to touch me.

Shit My Mom Says (.com?)

I really need to start another blog: "shitmymomsays.com"

So tonight, we went to Lucille's BBQ, and she asks me, "So when are you starting your Xbox thing?"

My Xbox thing?

I replied, "Are you referring to P90X extreme home fitness?"

She said, "Yeah, whatever."

ROFLMAO!

If this doesn't kill me, nothing will.

My P90X stuff came the other day. I'm both excited and nervous to get started. I'm famous for starting and then quitting things, and I'm trying to break that cycle. I know I won't drive to a gym, so I think this is a good alternative for me. I'm also not exactly the Richard Simmons type of exerciser either. LOL. This is serious, hard-core stuff. No pansies! There are two people at work who I found out are just starting it too, so I have accountability and people to talk about it with, which always helps. I did "Body for Life" that way, but that was what these people call the "baby starter kit". Do you believe I can do it? I'm always tired, so the challenging part will be to not want to take a nap instead. I can get all sweaty in the comfort of my living room, then go jump in the pool to cool off. Root for me, I'm going to need it!

A Night at Laguna Beach

I spent the evening down at Laguna Beach for sunset dining at C'est La Vie with my mom. I had an amazing Chateaubriand and Cabernet! We went shopping at Chico's (bought a new bag, sunglasses and jewelry) and had a gourmet espresso that burnt my tongue. I had a fabulous time, but too bad it wasn't a night of passion with a new man! I'm outta my funk now, thanks for the advice, Lea!

Finish This Sentence

This is the second day in a row I've been in a funk. It stinks. Tell me, when you are in a funk, how do you snap yourself out of it? Let me know, I'm interested. Here is another game I stole from a fellow blogger, it's called finish this sentence. "If I could have done one thing differently in my life, I would have..."

Let me see your answers in comments or emails. Pretty please? I need some cheering up. Thanks.

I want to be a beach bum.

I'm in a bad mood today. Some days I just want to quit my job and be a beach bum or something. Work invades everything. How did this happen? I climb the corporate ladder, become moderately successful and now all I do is work. I can't even take a four-day weekend. I never intended to be a workaholic. Not at all. In fact, I think there is so much more to life. Right now, you could say things are going well for me, but I'm lacking what I want most. My soul kind of aches. I try to motivate myself, but I end up caring less and less. Every time I try to care about someone, everything goes nuclear on me. I'm not alone on this. I talked to a woman in a store the other day, for quite a while actually. She is 45 and in the same boat I'm in, as well as all her friends. She is drop-dead gorgeous, and she said there is just crap out there for men. Her friends say the same thing. One of her friends is a model and no longer dates at all. Not a good prognosis. I thought I found someone once a few years ago, a very special person, but, mushroom cloud. That is why I decided maybe I ought to just focus my attention elsewhere for a while. I feel burnt out, though.

Extreme Home Fitness, Laguna Beach and Las Brisas

I just joined the world of P90X now that I've lost 47 pounds. Time to get serious. For those of you who know about P90X, you know what I'm about to embark on. For those of you who don't, look it up. It is a pretty amazing program.

Went to Laguna Beach today with my friends from NJ and had some yummy seafood at the awesome "Las Brisas" right on the ocean. Back to work tomorrow but seeing that I worked a bunch at home due to an influx of panic emails, I may as well have been there. :-/

I am so frustrated with the world of dating right now I could puke. I don't even want to talk about it.

More cute pics!

I had such a great weekend. I talked to my best girlie friend today and she said I love kids more than I let on. I guess I do. I love big families. Maybe the guy I end up with (if that happens) will have some and make our family bigger. I'm such a big goof ball. Part of me is really having fun and discovering myself, and part of me is craving a really good relationship with a man who loves me for me. That, and I need some really good SEX. LOL! I have a life now, let's get on with it already!

Took the kids to airport tonight, and my mom will be going back to Seattle soon. I will be all by my lonesome again.

Photo Extravaganza

As I was telling you, my step son (Bill) and his girlfriend (Erica) came down to visit for a few days. We've been swimming and went to Disneyland. We ate at the Blue Bayou restaurant and the Monte Cristo was amazing! The kids LOVED it. This has been so great, I feel so blessed. My family keeps getting bigger and bigger. I made my famous and requested "Cheryl Pasta" and BBQ'd steaks as well. Tomorrow I'm making a big breakfast for everyone. I love cooking and having lots of people at the table! There are many more good times to be had here, I can't wait for the holidays now!

The Crazies at Disneyland

My former boss (Helen) and I went to D-land on Monday night and had such a blast. She is way more fun outside of work. LOL! Splash Mountain broke down on us right before the big drop (bummer!!) and we had to exit our logs. Helen touched the wall and was very surprised it was made out of paper-like fuzzy stuff and not plastic or concrete. Weird! While we were waiting, we took pics of ourselves. Great night!

The OC Fair 2010!

Hangin' out and havin' fun with the guys from work.

My feet are going to fall off.

OMG. I am too old to be at Disneyland for 15 hours. BED.

Oh, and I may have been mistaken about Mike, he didn't disappear. I think I'm a bit pessimistic about men sticking around; they like to disappear on me. I sent the kids (stepson and his girlfriend) off to go get some fast passes for some rides while I sat and checked my email, and just as I see 2 emails come in from Mike, MY PHONE DIES. Of course. I'm such a tard. I'm all, "NOOOO! NOT NOW!" I was a little down today, even at Disneyland, until I saw that. We did all have a great time, but it is hard being a third wheel (if you know what I mean), even as a cool stepmom. I'm still working on the pics.

Using My Annual Pass

Going to Disney, big smile! Me with my annual pass! Wheee!

Disappearing Acts

Just when you start to really like a guy, they disappear. Yup. Story of my life. I don't think I said anything to scare him, so whatever. Moving on I guess, again. The whole dating thing is just WEIRD and frustrating. You start talking online, or wherever, and then POOF. I know when I've done or said something stupid, but I didn't this time. I don't think. Perhaps I am mistaken, but it happens like this frequently online. Usually, they just become obsessed with someone else. They always say they hate games and drama, but I swear, THEY are the ones that create it. Fuck them. I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow, hanging out by the pool and having a BBQ on Saturday and Sunday, then meeting up with friends on Monday. Four-day weekend! His loss.

I've really got to get a new adapter for my pics. I have some great ones! SOON!

Working from home today.

A mouse jumped in the pool today. I was so enthralled it didn't occur to me to take a pic. They are good little swimmers. I'm not afraid of rodents, I think they are cute. Weird, right?

I worked from home today so that I could get some work done! Everyone bombards me when I'm at the plant. I'm still tired.

Super Human?

I got home from work tonight, plopped on the couch, and the last thing I remember is waking up 5 minutes ago. GEEZ. Guess I needed some sleep? I am so stiff from running around Disneyland I can barely walk, and while I was sleeping, I missed phone calls, emails, all kinds of things. I have lots of company coming and now I'm down to one day to get ready. Well, I suppose they aren't coming to see my bathroom, huh? Let's hope not! LOL Crap.

I will get pics up ASAP, but I have to buy a new adapter for my camera to get them onto the computer. My other one went TU. I should be able to do that in my spare time. HA. I think they believe I'm super human at work. Someone needs an earful of how I'm not. I guess I'm going to have to threaten someone for a day off. How am I going to build any kind of relationship with someone if I can barely get time to go pee? Have I told you how sweet Mike is? God, I feel like I'm 15 again.

I am dead.

The fair was fun, Disneyland was awesome, stay tuned for goofy pics and funny stories. I have to go to work in a few hours, so I don't have time to blog I promise to do lots later. I have not had one second to spare.

The blog slacker is back!

I've been a little bit busy. :-) It was bound to happen sooner or later; I'm smitten. Mike. Gorgeous blue eyes, tall, handsome and super sweet. Loves God. He lives a few hours from here so I don't know what will happen, but we are getting to know each other online. He has a big heart and thinks I'm beautiful. He told me, "There is something special about you." My heart did a flip-flop. Haven't had THAT feeling in a long time. I'm trying not to get too excited, but it is hard not to (finally) be hopeful. I am afraid of course, but life is what it is. Can't be afraid to live it.

I'm going to the Orange County Fair today (leaving in an hour) with some new friends at work. I wish Mike was going! I'm taking my good camera so there should be some pics posted soon. My old boss is coming to see the new plant Monday and Tuesday, and when I asked her where she wanted to go to dinner she said "Disneyland!" So, I'm taking her to D-land Monday night! Yay! I bought my annual pass yesterday. Next week the kid comes to visit and my friend from NJ after that. Lots of fun to be had! Going to be in the 80's today so I'll probably get sunburnt at the fair. :-)

Working myself to death.

I was violently ill last night. Won't be eating Mexican food for a while. It was a long day at work too, and my chest hurts. Maybe I'm working myself to death. Ha. Thinking about taking some sleeping pills tonight, don't know how else to get some sleep. I wish I could take a few weeks off, but I can't. Opening a new plant does not allow for vacation, but it has been over a year since I had any time off and I think I'm going crazy. Some days are great, and some days I feel like, is this all there is? Gah.

I didn't call my date back because I just wasn't "feeling it". I can usually tell right away. When I DO feel something, it doesn't manifest. Frustrating. Perhaps I should marry my laptop, I touch it more than anything else. LOL! It sucks at foot rubs, though.

70's Music

So, I got out my 70's music box set tonight, and my mom and I were totally groovin'. We were dancing (my mom is way better than me) and I made her howl in laughter. You know the song that everyone on the planet screws up the words to? "I'd really love to see you tonight." The lyrics REALLY say, "I'm not talkin' about movin' in", but it sounds more like, "I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen". So that is how I sing it! We were dancing (she was leading) and we were singing together, "I'm not talkin' 'bout the linen'! ROFLMAO!

Lou & the Pool

I'm kickin' back in the pool while Lou gets into my iced coffee. LOL. Sorry boy, its empty!

Fine Line

I don't whether I'm messed up in the head, or finally right in the head. It is a fine line I think. I had really nice day with family and friends, but it was also one of those days where I thought a lot about many heavy topics. I got a phone call from the guy I went out with last night, but I didn't answer or call back. I'm not sure why. Something stopped me. I need some sleep.

A Kiss

Date went well. Good kisser. :-)

All the Things

I just worked two 12-hours days in a row, and I'm beat. But I met my deadline, damnit! I *think* I have a date tomorrow. I made plans with a guy I met online who lives about 3 minutes from here, but we keep playing email/phone tag so I don't know if it will be delayed or not. Should be interesting. A businessman, older than me, very direct (no BS). We'll see. I'm quite direct also and brutally honest about myself and what I want and don't want. I thought I scared him off and sent a "thanks and good luck" email, but a few days later he emailed back and said, "you aren't getting away that easily". Love that in a man!

The IT guy at work keeps saying how much he is looking forward to the OC fair and Disneyland. Too cute.

The remodeling is going well, but having the house torn apart all the time is maddening. The contractor is working on the guest bedroom now since I am having guests soon. I don't want to take pics until I have stuff put away in the rooms, so be patient with me. :-) My bedroom looks AWESOME, the office is painted now, and the crown molding is going in there tomorrow maybe. My bathroom is done except for cleaning and putting my excessive bath products away. I have a new air conditioner for my room, one with a hose instead of going in the window. The house air conditioning is being fixed, but it doesn't cool down the upstairs bedrooms very well so I need the extra one, so I don't die. I can't wait until I can have a balcony built with French doors and stairs going down to the pool from my bedroom. That is the plan, but it has to wait. That will be the last thing. But HOW COOL WILL THAT BE? My own private paradise.

The Crazy Place

I JUST got home from work. It is crazy there. Being that it is a brand new facility, there is much to do and I am in charge of a lot more than I used to be. It is a challenge. I do not WANT to be a workaholic, but I can't stand things not getting done right. One of these days I'm going to figure out a way to retire, but it IS nice making a bunch more mula. I guess SAVE SAVE SAVE then be done.

The IT guy is too young (31) and the Validation guy is moving back East when his contract is done. Oh well. Friends are good. Not the right time, not the right person(s).

Frozen pizza for dinner. LOL.

Only Me

I spilled coffee all down my white shirt today, then tried to wash the spots out in the bathroom sink. If you can visualize it, you will see my humiliation. The spots did not come out, and now I'm at work in a wet white shirt. Yeah. Didn't think that one all the way through.

The capper? The VP from Corporate is visiting, and I had to intro myself to the staff. Super day.

Ninja Mom

There are 3 flies in here and my mom is in ninja mode. I just felt the wind from her fly-swatting over my head. She is frigging dangerous with that thing! LOL. SMACK! SLAM! SWAT! SLAM! Now she has the garbage disposal going. Gross. It is very hard to concentrate. Now she's giggling. I live in a nut house. I'm surprised the dogs aren't barking.

Had a really good day at work. Why? Well, let's see. I have been invited by some new friends to the OC (Orange County) fair and when I stood up from my desk, put my hands on my hips and addressed the trailer, "Who wants to go to Disneyland with me?" I got a very enthusiastic IT (Information Technology) guy raise his hand and say, "ME!". So, it looks like I'm going to start having some fun. Then I had one of the Validation guys asking me how to treat his sunburn. Yes, it makes sense, no? A California guy raised in Arizona inquiring about sunburn care from someone who lived in Washington State for 33 years. Hmmm.

The Boy is Good!

Lou is OK! He has some issues, but after x-rays, an EKG and other tests, the vet was happy with his health overall. THANK YOU, GOD. It was hard waiting 3 hours to find out. This pic cracks me up, he knows to close his eyes now for when the flash goes off. LOL.

I caught up on work today (blah) and laid out for a bit. Had a tuna melt for dinner and now I'm alphabetizing my CDs and finally putting them away. Not an exciting day.

I'm worried about my Lou.

His tongue was pale grey yesterday and now today he is walking funny. I've been trying to carry him up and down the stairs because of his condition, but sometimes you just can't control a Cairn Terrier. I jumped online and found a new vet and had the records transferred. We have an appointment at 11 am. I'm beside myself. So worried. I can't lose my Lou. I CAN'T. Not now. He is like a child to me. I didn't know you could love a dog so much. I need a hug. I need someone to hold me and tell me it's going to be OK.

Selfies in the Car

Goofing off in the car on the way to lunch with friends at some place called "The Lone Star". Thermometer says 96 degrees. Yikes.

I Love This

A Holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand." The Lord said "It is simple. It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of themselves."

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you. Remember that. 

Good Things

Not only am I down 44 pounds total now, but I had acne issue on a particular part of my body that is almost completely gone now! Between the sun, a chlorinated pool and a really good dermatologist, bye, bye ugliness! I'm working on a great tan too! (It was 98 degrees today.) So, I'm happy about those things.

Had a steak sandwich for dinner that was SOOO good, but now it is really muggy, and if I had a raft, I would sleep in the pool.

3 Different Things

1. OK, I'll keep believing in love if you insist, someday I will dance on the beach with "The One".

2. Have you ever discovered that you have been lying to yourself? It is a bit of an epiphany, I guess. Over the years I have thought about and told myself why I write in this blog. A few different answers have come out. The actual truth of why hit me not so long ago, and there is only one real reason I still write here. The reason I started the blog differs from why I continue to write in it. Maybe someday I will reveal it, but for now it is just for me to know. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

3. I just bought a cute new blouse, necklace (see pic) and shoes. Time for my nightly swim before I turn in.

Mail Bag - Questions Answered

Q: "Why don't you believe in love anymore?"
A: I guess I should have written that better. I do believe love exists, and of course there are different kinds of love, Family/Kids/Pets/Friends vs. Romantic. I know true love is real, but what I was trying to say was that the kind of love that is supposed to happen in "romantic love" has somehow been (partly) destroyed in our society. It is a selfish, self-centered world hell-bent on instant gratification and the propensity to "bail" when one becomes "unhappy". There is a lack of commitment and sacrifice. I see it everywhere, and unless you live in a fantasy world, you know it's true. My problem is that me finding someone outside of this human condition in our present era is statistically very low, and the chances of heartbreak are very high. I haven't given up, but I know the odds are against me. I also don't want someone with me (and vice versa) just because they don't want to be lonely. People can be very deceiving and will sometimes go to great lengths to get what they want. I'm just being realistic, that's all. God can do anything though, so I'm just trusting in Him.

Q: "Why do you think all of these people are "looking for something" on your blog? Isn't that a little paranoid?"
A: Well, perhaps, but one of them is my ex-husband's buddy who was feeding my ex-husband info from my blog during our divorce (I know that for a fact out of the ex-husband's mouth), and now that all of that is over and my ex-husband is remarried, it is beyond me what he is going to my blog to find out. I actually have a suspicion, but I can't say publicly. I seriously doubt he "just wants to know what I'm up to." The others are old coworkers that I was not particularly close to and never even told about my blog. They obviously saw it up on my computer screen at work and started visiting, but I can tell you right now neither one of them give a rat's ass about my life, and I can't help but wonder if there is an ulterior motive, especially when one signs on from across one part of the country one minute, then the other minutes later from the opposite side of the country. Obviously, there is some talking (gossiping?) going on there. WEIRD. Sorry if that's offensive, guys, but it is weird to me. So, anyway, I thought I would say hello to them. :-) No answer of course.

Q: How do you know when someone goes to your blog?
A: That's my secret, sorry. ;-) Remember, the internet is NOT a secure place.

My Odd Posts

Some of you may be wondering about the odd posts of late that call out some names. Don't worry, for those of you who are my friends and those of you who just honestly enjoy my blog, those posts aren't for you. Blogs can be both a blessing and a curse. No matter where you go, there are twisted motherfuckers out there. So be it.

On a different note, it got really stuffy in here tonight. The air conditioner needs to be fixed, so once I got too hot, I went out for a nice swim. I could see the stars and it brought back sweet memories of when my grandpa and I used to float on our backs and he would point out the constellations to me. I miss those times. Times when life was so effortless and everything was new and exciting. I almost purchased an annual pass to Disneyland today. I will soon. I am trying to embrace my inner child again and forget about all the pain. I'm almost myself again. There are still some old demons clamoring about, but I'll beat them.

Stalker Ex-Coworkers.

Dave and Travis, hello! Do you guys email each other and say "Hey, have you been to Cheryl's blog lately?" LOL. One signs in, then the other. STRANGE.

Love Blows

Unfortunately, I don't really believe in love anymore. People just get what they need from you and leave. That or they just keep using you because they don't want to be alone. We are all guilty of it. I'm not just talking about my stupid past, I see it all around me. Talking to people, and observing. You may just think I'm jaded, but if you look around, even look deep inside yourself, you'll see it's just the human condition. If you are lucky enough to feel a real kind of love, are you strong enough to risk everything? Or do you not believe either? Tell me, do you see it anywhere?

MEAT

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! BBQing tenderloins tonight with Romano cheese mashed potatoes and a garden salad.

What's the temp?

The new backyard thermometer. Isn't it cool? I thought so.

Too Much to Do

Well I was up until 4 am trying to straighten out my Quicken books (UG) then got up at 9 am and ran some errands. I'm sick of Home Depot! LOL. My bedroom is almost done along with the office and 1 bathroom. They have all been painted and now I'm having some white crown molding going in. Going to look great! I will do before and after pics, they will be quite entertaining. Had the "popcorn" ceilings taken out and put all new fixtures in the bathroom. This is why everything is still all over the place, plus the house was still furnished with all my grandparent's stuff still in it. So needless to say, it is quite a challenge and a crapload of work. Not to mention the expense. I'm laying out by the pool now getting sunburnt. Skin cancer, bah!!