Q: "Why don't you believe in love anymore?"
A: I guess I should have written that better. I do believe love exists, and of course there are different kinds of love, Family/Kids/Pets/Friends vs. Romantic. I know true love is real, but what I was trying to say was that the kind of love that is supposed to happen in "romantic love" has somehow been (partly) destroyed in our society. It is a selfish, self-centered world hell-bent on instant gratification and the propensity to "bail" when one becomes "unhappy". There is a lack of commitment and sacrifice. I see it everywhere, and unless you live in a fantasy world, you know it's true. My problem is that me finding someone outside of this human condition in our present era is statistically very low, and the chances of heartbreak are very high. I haven't given up, but I know the odds are against me. I also don't want someone with me (and vice versa) just because they don't want to be lonely. People can be very deceiving and will sometimes go to great lengths to get what they want. I'm just being realistic, that's all. God can do anything though, so I'm just trusting in Him.
Q: "Why do you think all of these people are "looking for something" on your blog? Isn't that a little paranoid?"
A: Well, perhaps, but one of them is my ex-husband's buddy who was feeding my ex-husband info from my blog during our divorce (I know that for a fact out of the ex-husband's mouth), and now that all of that is over and my ex-husband is remarried, it is beyond me what he is going to my blog to find out. I actually have a suspicion, but I can't say publicly. I seriously doubt he "just wants to know what I'm up to." The others are old coworkers that I was not particularly close to and never even told about my blog. They obviously saw it up on my computer screen at work and started visiting, but I can tell you right now neither one of them give a rat's ass about my life, and I can't help but wonder if there is an ulterior motive, especially when one signs on from across one part of the country one minute, then the other minutes later from the opposite side of the country. Obviously, there is some talking (gossiping?) going on there. WEIRD. Sorry if that's offensive, guys, but it is weird to me. So, anyway, I thought I would say hello to them. :-) No answer of course.
Q: How do you know when someone goes to your blog?
A: That's my secret, sorry. ;-) Remember, the internet is NOT a secure place.
To be honest? I don't really miss blogging. I thought I would miss it like craaaaazy, but when I was done, I guess I was done. Part of it felt like such a release at times and then at other times you feel so violated, but how can you really feel violated when you're choosing to put your life out there for everone to read about and judge. Sometimes I hated it when people I couldn't stand would come to my blog and other times I thought "whatever", I do and would go to their blog, how can I really care, that's hypocritical. But, I also can totally understand how in the throws of a divorce you would feel weird about a friend of your ex "popping by ALL the time" and I can see where that would be hella weird. One thing blogging brought me? Several awesome friendships that I never would NOT have had without my bloggy stint. I met two of them the other night at Joey's on Lake Union and THAT was pretty priceless. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you still blog....it's my way of following you on your Cali journey. Screw the ones that pop by for the wrong reasons, just be your own genuinue, authentic self and they can reconcile their own behavior. Or make excuses for it. xx. Love you.
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