So, my relatively new awesome friend Hole is moving to California. What a turd-ball! I have actually thought about moving there myself, there is a big empty paid-for house with a pool in an affluent area that could become my oasis. My grandparent's house. I could handle the heat with air conditioning and a pool. I already have other friends down there, and Hole and I would only be a couple of miles apart. What do think girl? I have to finish my job contract, but your 9-month goal is about that timing. Juice will kill us.
It's supposed to be even hotter today than it was yesterday, and since I live in the mountains away from ocean, it will probably be at least 100 today. And the exciting part? Thunder and lightning storms predicted tonight! Last night was beautiful, though. I woke up in the middle of the night and went out on my back patio. The warm night air was delicious, and the stars! WOW! The sky was crystal clear and with no impact from city lights, and there are no big trees around my house, so it was an amazing sight! Thousands of beautiful stars. I could pick out many of the constellations. It was quiet, too.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Nappy Time and Sweaty Time
I don't sleep well at night as you know if you've spent any time reading my blog, but I am an excellent napper. I am the nap champ. Anytime, anywhere. I think my insomnia comes from working swing shift a large chunk of my life, which is also probably why I'm a night owl too. Today I took a nap because it is literally HELL here today. It's like 90 something outside and 100+ in my house. I have an air conditioner in my bedroom, so that is definitely where you want to be on a day like this. I would go outside, but my pasty white ass would burn into oblivion. I may need to go tanning to get a base first. I also need a pool. Anybody got a pool that I could come swim in? It's HOT! I will bring the margaritas! I'm sweating like a pig in my little office here, blogging for your pleasure. Or whatever happens to you when you read my blog.
Nothing like waking up with asthma.
I have seasonal asthma and let me tell you how much it sucks. It really, really sucks. I'm allergic to something this time of year (who knows what) and I woke up unable to get a breath fully in, which makes me panic, then cough my head off. Then I have to take a panic pill while running around the house throwing things around trying to find my inhaler. It's neat. I actually haven't had an attack for about 3 years now, so my inhaler was expired. I also didn't know what day it was when I woke up, and there has been no drinking or sleeping pills, just loss of brain. I didn't know whether or not I had to go to work, or if I could go back to bed. It was 4 am and I had to really think about it. When I realized it was Saturday, I was all "YES!".
I'm settled down now, but I can't get back to sleep. This, I think, is an advantage to having a blog. It gives you something to do. There was something else I was going to talk about, but I can't remember now so I'll have to come back later. Perhaps my brain will return then.
I'm settled down now, but I can't get back to sleep. This, I think, is an advantage to having a blog. It gives you something to do. There was something else I was going to talk about, but I can't remember now so I'll have to come back later. Perhaps my brain will return then.
Friday, June 27, 2008
YouTube Sucks
I posted a funny video to brighten your day, but YouTube took it down for violating its policies. What policy is that, exactly? Too funny? If you saw it, great, but if not, it sucks to be you.
Goals and Good Times
I think it's good for the soul to think of the good times in your life, and of course be constantly making new memories! Life is short, and I know I 've spent way too much of mine dwelling on stupid stuff.
When I was out to lunch with my boss and some other co-workers yesterday, we were talking about some of the crazy stuff we'd done. I brought up that I've always wanted to go white water rafting, and my boss told some very exciting and insanely funny stories of some of his rafting trips. Not only was it hysterical (he is a great storyteller), but I thought to myself, why haven't I done that yet? I can afford it. It made me think that I'm letting a part of my life slip away by just making excuses as to why I'm not doing the things I want to do. So, I am making a goals list. I'm spending more time with friends, too. Little changes, big changes, I'm putting them all on a little anal-retentive spreadsheet. Ha. Is that weird? I got the idea from a former co-worker who is an engineer.
Good times. We've all had them. Some that come to mind for me at the moment:
Snow skiing at Crystal! Sometimes I would go by myself and just sail down a straightaway going about 40 mph with my arms lifted up yelling WOOO! The beauty, the thrill. Very exhilarating! Then there were the times when I would go with friends, and we would have the BEST time! (Annie!) People must have thought we were out of our minds, but we didn't care. You know the kind of laughter where you stomach cramps up? Yeah, that is great.
I remember spending long summers being somewhat 'bohemian-like', waiting tables 5 hours a night and then spending all night and all day with my coworkers and other friends taking advantage of every single spare moment of time we had, living it up, spending all the tips I had just made. We even had fun at work.
There are way too many to write here, but it's good to reflect and put things in perspective. Just because I'm getting older, doesn't mean there isn't a lot of good left of life! Perhaps the VERY BEST times are yet to come!
When I was out to lunch with my boss and some other co-workers yesterday, we were talking about some of the crazy stuff we'd done. I brought up that I've always wanted to go white water rafting, and my boss told some very exciting and insanely funny stories of some of his rafting trips. Not only was it hysterical (he is a great storyteller), but I thought to myself, why haven't I done that yet? I can afford it. It made me think that I'm letting a part of my life slip away by just making excuses as to why I'm not doing the things I want to do. So, I am making a goals list. I'm spending more time with friends, too. Little changes, big changes, I'm putting them all on a little anal-retentive spreadsheet. Ha. Is that weird? I got the idea from a former co-worker who is an engineer.
Good times. We've all had them. Some that come to mind for me at the moment:
Snow skiing at Crystal! Sometimes I would go by myself and just sail down a straightaway going about 40 mph with my arms lifted up yelling WOOO! The beauty, the thrill. Very exhilarating! Then there were the times when I would go with friends, and we would have the BEST time! (Annie!) People must have thought we were out of our minds, but we didn't care. You know the kind of laughter where you stomach cramps up? Yeah, that is great.
I remember spending long summers being somewhat 'bohemian-like', waiting tables 5 hours a night and then spending all night and all day with my coworkers and other friends taking advantage of every single spare moment of time we had, living it up, spending all the tips I had just made. We even had fun at work.
There are way too many to write here, but it's good to reflect and put things in perspective. Just because I'm getting older, doesn't mean there isn't a lot of good left of life! Perhaps the VERY BEST times are yet to come!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Chicken without a head.
Yesterday I stayed late at work getting ready for an implant case this Saturday which involved paperwork and editing GALORE, then went home and crashed. Today, appointments all over the place, taking boss out to lunch for his birthday, getting more paperwork done, doing errands and then dinner with mom. Lately I've been meeting/talking with friends, blogging/emailing (or trying to) and generally running around like a motherflippin' chicken without a head. I don't even have kids! I don't see how you all do it, I barely have time to brush my hair in the morning. But you know, some of this stuff I'm enjoying. I saw a friend the other day I hadn't seen in almost a year, and it was really cool hanging out and reconnecting. Of course, I heart the internet too; blogging and reading blogs is my favorite.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The earth has come off of its axis!
My coffee girl QUIT! She is moving to Georgia. BAH! Georgia sucks! I was just talking about her the other day, and I find out this morning she is leaving me! I do not like change unless it benefits me in some way. She is the only one who not only knows what I order (since I can't remember), but she mixes it right. This is VERY important. People who do not live in Seattle may not understand the concept of proper coffee making. I am very distraught.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
I'm doing my research and catching up on current events this morning. If you don't want to hear it, go away. I'm not in the mood for whining. Perhaps I will post something later for the rest of you, but for the few out there that I know follow my research, here are some important places to go for news about the current state of union and its seriousness. You're welcome.
seekingalpha.com
marketwatch.com
atimes.com
culturechange.org
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sexy Badger?
Someone sent me a badger's profile and thought it resembled me perfectly. Gee, thanks. LOL!
Then I got to thinking, do I really like SPF36 ("Sugar Plum Fairy", and 36 is my age) for my prison bitch name or should I go with Sexy Badger? I think we need a vote. Below you will find the badger profile. The parts in bold, I agree with.
The Badger
Badgers are generally pleasant, solitary animals who are mainly active at night. They tend to be inactive during the winter months. They are not true hibernators but spend much of the winter in cycles of torpor that usually last about 29 hours. (Torpor: a state of motor and mental inactivity with a partial suspension of sensibility.) If threatened, they attack explosively with hissing, growling and biting. They love to eat and do so voraciously.
Badgers are known as fierce, independent creatures with almost legendary courage bordering on lunacy. Having had to literally claw themselves a place in the world, badgers are known for their tenacity and cunning. While the badgers are fond of taking on all comers, and even their own, when their misty highlands are threatened, their true mettle comes to light. Few truly like the badgers, but the wise respect them.
Then I got to thinking, do I really like SPF36 ("Sugar Plum Fairy", and 36 is my age) for my prison bitch name or should I go with Sexy Badger? I think we need a vote. Below you will find the badger profile. The parts in bold, I agree with.
The Badger
Badgers are generally pleasant, solitary animals who are mainly active at night. They tend to be inactive during the winter months. They are not true hibernators but spend much of the winter in cycles of torpor that usually last about 29 hours. (Torpor: a state of motor and mental inactivity with a partial suspension of sensibility.) If threatened, they attack explosively with hissing, growling and biting. They love to eat and do so voraciously.
Badgers are known as fierce, independent creatures with almost legendary courage bordering on lunacy. Having had to literally claw themselves a place in the world, badgers are known for their tenacity and cunning. While the badgers are fond of taking on all comers, and even their own, when their misty highlands are threatened, their true mettle comes to light. Few truly like the badgers, but the wise respect them.
Sundays are weird.
You'd think because Sunday is a weekend day that I would love it, but not really. Lately I've been getting up really early, like 4 am or so, and I don't know what to do with myself. Do I have breakfast? Do I surf the internet? Blah. I always end up staying up for a couple of hours, then going back to bed and just lay there thinking about stuff. I was really tired from Saturday, you know all the sitting in the sun watching somebody do a garage sale wears you out, but nevertheless, I was pooped. I was supposed to go back to the garage sale again on Sunday, but I just didn't feel up to it. I didn't mean to be a flake, but I felt a little grumpy and no one likes that.
In other news, I'm still losing weight, just not quite as rapidly, it always slows down after the first few weeks, but that is normal and healthy. I LOVE the program I'm using. It is SUPER easy, and it works like a charm for me. It is the kind of program I feel I can do the rest of my life without feeling like I'm on a "diet". Because everyone knows "diets" don't work and you have to change your lifestyle. I used to do Body for Life, which is an awesome program, but it is really restrictive, and I find myself not staying consistent with it because you have to eat, like, 7 meals per day and workout 6 days a week, which means all you are ever doing is thinking about food and exercise, and I'm sorry, there is WAY more to life. Different things work for different people though, and I think I've finally found what works for me.
"EAT STOP EAT" is what I've adopted into my life. (You can find the link to their website on my sidebar.) The concept is controversial with some because you "fast" twice a week, but honestly, I've never felt so good. I think I'm ridding my body of toxins, and when you are fasting, you have this INCREDIBLE amount of energy for some reason. I can vacuum the house in 5 minutes flat! The popular theory is that you lose muscle when you fast, but you actually don't if you are weight training at least 3 times a week. I have been doing this for 2 months now and have dropped 25 pounds without losing ANY muscle. I measured my fat/muscle ratio Friday and I've lost fat, but no muscle! I adore weightlifting, too, so it is easy for me to do that Mon, Wed, Fri at my lunch break with some friends. We do some cardio occasionally too, but I prefer to get outside and walk/run or hike for that. The treadmill just makes me want to kill myself.
The basic principles are you eat like a normal person the other 5 days, of course trying to incorporate mostly healthy stuff, but there is nothing saying you can't have a couple pieces of pizza or McDonald's in moderation. It is all about balance and LIKING what you eat, rather than trying to shove gross protein shakes and flavorless chicken breasts down your throat all the time. Which gets old FAST. Let me tell you. I generally have coffee when I wake up on workdays (regular omelets and such on the weekend), then a light lunch, sometimes tuna and veggies or a sandwich/soup (or sometimes frozen burritos), then a nice lean meat/veggie dinner. For example, I had lamb chops and asparagus Saturday night and tonight I'm having lemon pepper pork loin and a veggie medley. I drink an assload of water, I always have. After a vigorous workout, I will head to either "Jamba Juice" or "Emerald City Smoothie" to get my fruit in.
My fasting days are so easy, too. After eating dinner on say, Monday night, I won't eat again until Tuesday night dinner. That way, 8 hours of my fast is spent sleeping, and I still have coffee in the morning because I drink it black. The rest of my work is not interrupted, I just drink my water and have plain tea or coffee. My tummy has stopped rumbling and like I said, the energy is incredible. I get more work done and I don't stress over what to bring for lunch. (Also a money saver.) So anyway, that is what I'm doing and its working. I do not feel deprived or stressed about it. If I screw up a fast day, I just make it different day. Gotta like flexibility.
I'm thinking about getting my nails done again. It is somewhat of a pain in the rectal region, but I do feel pretty and "finished" when I do it.
In other news, I'm still losing weight, just not quite as rapidly, it always slows down after the first few weeks, but that is normal and healthy. I LOVE the program I'm using. It is SUPER easy, and it works like a charm for me. It is the kind of program I feel I can do the rest of my life without feeling like I'm on a "diet". Because everyone knows "diets" don't work and you have to change your lifestyle. I used to do Body for Life, which is an awesome program, but it is really restrictive, and I find myself not staying consistent with it because you have to eat, like, 7 meals per day and workout 6 days a week, which means all you are ever doing is thinking about food and exercise, and I'm sorry, there is WAY more to life. Different things work for different people though, and I think I've finally found what works for me.
"EAT STOP EAT" is what I've adopted into my life. (You can find the link to their website on my sidebar.) The concept is controversial with some because you "fast" twice a week, but honestly, I've never felt so good. I think I'm ridding my body of toxins, and when you are fasting, you have this INCREDIBLE amount of energy for some reason. I can vacuum the house in 5 minutes flat! The popular theory is that you lose muscle when you fast, but you actually don't if you are weight training at least 3 times a week. I have been doing this for 2 months now and have dropped 25 pounds without losing ANY muscle. I measured my fat/muscle ratio Friday and I've lost fat, but no muscle! I adore weightlifting, too, so it is easy for me to do that Mon, Wed, Fri at my lunch break with some friends. We do some cardio occasionally too, but I prefer to get outside and walk/run or hike for that. The treadmill just makes me want to kill myself.
The basic principles are you eat like a normal person the other 5 days, of course trying to incorporate mostly healthy stuff, but there is nothing saying you can't have a couple pieces of pizza or McDonald's in moderation. It is all about balance and LIKING what you eat, rather than trying to shove gross protein shakes and flavorless chicken breasts down your throat all the time. Which gets old FAST. Let me tell you. I generally have coffee when I wake up on workdays (regular omelets and such on the weekend), then a light lunch, sometimes tuna and veggies or a sandwich/soup (or sometimes frozen burritos), then a nice lean meat/veggie dinner. For example, I had lamb chops and asparagus Saturday night and tonight I'm having lemon pepper pork loin and a veggie medley. I drink an assload of water, I always have. After a vigorous workout, I will head to either "Jamba Juice" or "Emerald City Smoothie" to get my fruit in.
My fasting days are so easy, too. After eating dinner on say, Monday night, I won't eat again until Tuesday night dinner. That way, 8 hours of my fast is spent sleeping, and I still have coffee in the morning because I drink it black. The rest of my work is not interrupted, I just drink my water and have plain tea or coffee. My tummy has stopped rumbling and like I said, the energy is incredible. I get more work done and I don't stress over what to bring for lunch. (Also a money saver.) So anyway, that is what I'm doing and its working. I do not feel deprived or stressed about it. If I screw up a fast day, I just make it different day. Gotta like flexibility.
I'm thinking about getting my nails done again. It is somewhat of a pain in the rectal region, but I do feel pretty and "finished" when I do it.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Helping People
I helped a friend do some packing and have a garage sale today. By help I mean I mostly sat on the couch for sale in her driveway and got sunburnt. I now have a nice farmer's tan and possibly some racoon eyes from wearing sunglasses. Sweet.
I meant to do a post today, or actually yesterday now that it is after midnight, but I was actually busy doing something besides wandering around the house talking to the voices in my head. I have no good material at the moment.
I meant to do a post today, or actually yesterday now that it is after midnight, but I was actually busy doing something besides wandering around the house talking to the voices in my head. I have no good material at the moment.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Losers.
Losers.
Sappy Mail
You know those emails you usually just delete because they are sappy and ridiculous? I almost deleted this one, but decided to look at it because it was quotes, and you know how I love good quotes. I actually really liked it and thought I would share. I will not accompany this with pictures of angels or unicorns or babies or hearts or anything that will make you want to vomit. I promise.
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved."
-George Sand 1804-1876, French Novelist
"Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."
-Henri Frederic Amiel 1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic
"A burning desire is the greatest motivator of every human action."
-Paul J. Meyer American Businessman, Author, Motivator
"I honestly believed I would make it. I had the desire. A lot of people have the ability, but they don't put forth the effort."
-Joe Carter 1960-, American Baseball Player
"Live the life you've dreamed."
-Henry David Thoreau
"The wilder and more incredible your desire, the more willing and prompter God is in fulfilling it, if you will have it so.''
-Coventry Patmore 1823-1896, British Poet
"Desire is the essence of a man."
-Baruch (Benedict de) Spinoza 1632-1677, Dutch Philosopher and Theologian
"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." (Love this one!)
-Steve Landesberg
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved."
-George Sand 1804-1876, French Novelist
"Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."
-Henri Frederic Amiel 1821-1881, Swiss Philosopher, Poet, Critic
"A burning desire is the greatest motivator of every human action."
-Paul J. Meyer American Businessman, Author, Motivator
"I honestly believed I would make it. I had the desire. A lot of people have the ability, but they don't put forth the effort."
-Joe Carter 1960-, American Baseball Player
"Live the life you've dreamed."
-Henry David Thoreau
"The wilder and more incredible your desire, the more willing and prompter God is in fulfilling it, if you will have it so.''
-Coventry Patmore 1823-1896, British Poet
"Desire is the essence of a man."
-Baruch (Benedict de) Spinoza 1632-1677, Dutch Philosopher and Theologian
"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." (Love this one!)
-Steve Landesberg
The best part of waking up is NOT Folgers in your cup.
Folgers tastes like dirt. It's dirt coffee. I have no problems admitting that I am a coffee snob. It has to be GOOD gourmet coffee/espresso, or nothing. Also, the best part of waking up is, nothing. It's usually the time where reality hits me, and, well, my reality kind of bites right now. But anyway, back to my snobbery. (Is that a word? It is now.) The one redeeming thing about the morning for me is rolling up to my favorite coffee stand where the girl (Amy) knows exactly what I want, I don't have to say anything! It's awesome. This morning, however, there was a new girl working. Oh no! What do I order? I can't remember! The girl asked me what I would like, and I just stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. "I don't know!" I had to think about it for a minute and finally got it out. It doesn't taste the same, though, and I'm all pissy about it.
The snob thing also applies to food. I like gourmet food. Good food. Expensive food. I love to cook it, eat it and take pictures of it. Yes, I do eat junk food too, especially lately, but I'm even picky about that. For instance, my frozen burritos. They have to be a certain brand and can only be bean and cheese. The thought of eating a frozen burrito with mystery meat in it grosses me out. I also have to have a certain type of taco sauce with it or forget it. I'm the same way with macaroni and cheese. It MUST be Kraft DELUXE or nothing. If you try to give me that crap with powdered cheese, you will be surgically removing it from your rectum later. Don't even get me started with pizza. They closed down my beloved pizza place where I live and now I'm stuck with Dominos or Paoli's. Yuck. The sauce sucks, the crust sucks, it just sucks. I used to like Godfather's pizza, but they closed them all. I hate most all pizza places now and always regret spending the ridiculous $25 to get one. Papa Murphy's bake your own is the only halfway decent one I can tolerate right now.
I know, high maintenance. I'm definitely high Maintenace about this. Other things, not as much. I just like what I like and want what I want. I could care less what brand my pants are. As long as they are not on inside out.
This is the current cookbook I have my eyeballs on. A master Italian chef I used to work for said, "If you can master your sauces, you can make a table taste good."
The snob thing also applies to food. I like gourmet food. Good food. Expensive food. I love to cook it, eat it and take pictures of it. Yes, I do eat junk food too, especially lately, but I'm even picky about that. For instance, my frozen burritos. They have to be a certain brand and can only be bean and cheese. The thought of eating a frozen burrito with mystery meat in it grosses me out. I also have to have a certain type of taco sauce with it or forget it. I'm the same way with macaroni and cheese. It MUST be Kraft DELUXE or nothing. If you try to give me that crap with powdered cheese, you will be surgically removing it from your rectum later. Don't even get me started with pizza. They closed down my beloved pizza place where I live and now I'm stuck with Dominos or Paoli's. Yuck. The sauce sucks, the crust sucks, it just sucks. I used to like Godfather's pizza, but they closed them all. I hate most all pizza places now and always regret spending the ridiculous $25 to get one. Papa Murphy's bake your own is the only halfway decent one I can tolerate right now.
I know, high maintenance. I'm definitely high Maintenace about this. Other things, not as much. I just like what I like and want what I want. I could care less what brand my pants are. As long as they are not on inside out.
This is the current cookbook I have my eyeballs on. A master Italian chef I used to work for said, "If you can master your sauces, you can make a table taste good."
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Exciting News?
No, you will have to go to another blog for that. PSYCH. I have been rather boring lately. Last night, I came from work, plopped on the couch for yet another frozen burrito and attempted to watch TV, but really just stared at the screen and the wall because I can't concentrate on anything. I have the motivation of a slug right now. My mom brought me back some Christmas decorations from my grandma's house, and they are still sitting in my living room; so, it looks at though I am celebrating Christmas in June.
I fell asleep on the couch until 3 a.m., and then did the drunk walk down the hallway bumping into the walls going to the bedroom. (No alcohol has been consumed by me since my glass of champagne in the bubble bath, I was just half asleep.) I got another couple of hours of sleep but woke up sideways on the bed. I have no idea, but I apparently did some "Linda Blair" moves because the dogs were nowhere to be found. They stayed in the living room.
It was FREEZING in the house this morning, so I went into the laundry room to dry some underwear (since I had no clean ones) which made the laundry room warm, so I stayed in there to get dressed. Have I told you about my sexy underwear? I haven't? Well, you are in for a treat. I have granny underwear with little martini glasses on them.
So now, here I sit at work, beginning my day blogging. Someone here reads my blog, but I can't figure out who it is, so if you are reading this, "Hi!" and if you don't nark on me for blogging, I'll buy you a coffee.
I am going over to my mom's again today and I'm going to drag her out bowling for the evening. Whether she likes it or not. She used to be in a league, so she will kick my butt, but there is little to do in this town and I need to get out. Don't expect pictures, though, because she will threaten me with bodily harm, then follow through with the bodily harm if I post any pictures of her on the internet. I tell her it's OK, but she doesn't buy it. You see, I welcome stalkers. Come stalk me! I need some excitement! If you get out of hand, I'll just shoot you. Your eyes will roll to the back of your head from boredom, though, I'm sure of it. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of my martini underwear.
OH MY GOD. You are not going to believe I am telling the truth, but I am. I really, really am. I just discovered that I am wearing my pants INSIDE OUT. I am NOT KIDDING. They are black, so it's hard to tell, but I am seriously losing it, people. This is a first. Without drinking. I am mortified. MORTIFIED. Perhaps I shouldn't get dressed in the laundry room anymore. LOL!
I fell asleep on the couch until 3 a.m., and then did the drunk walk down the hallway bumping into the walls going to the bedroom. (No alcohol has been consumed by me since my glass of champagne in the bubble bath, I was just half asleep.) I got another couple of hours of sleep but woke up sideways on the bed. I have no idea, but I apparently did some "Linda Blair" moves because the dogs were nowhere to be found. They stayed in the living room.
It was FREEZING in the house this morning, so I went into the laundry room to dry some underwear (since I had no clean ones) which made the laundry room warm, so I stayed in there to get dressed. Have I told you about my sexy underwear? I haven't? Well, you are in for a treat. I have granny underwear with little martini glasses on them.
So now, here I sit at work, beginning my day blogging. Someone here reads my blog, but I can't figure out who it is, so if you are reading this, "Hi!" and if you don't nark on me for blogging, I'll buy you a coffee.
I am going over to my mom's again today and I'm going to drag her out bowling for the evening. Whether she likes it or not. She used to be in a league, so she will kick my butt, but there is little to do in this town and I need to get out. Don't expect pictures, though, because she will threaten me with bodily harm, then follow through with the bodily harm if I post any pictures of her on the internet. I tell her it's OK, but she doesn't buy it. You see, I welcome stalkers. Come stalk me! I need some excitement! If you get out of hand, I'll just shoot you. Your eyes will roll to the back of your head from boredom, though, I'm sure of it. If you're lucky, you might catch a glimpse of my martini underwear.
OH MY GOD. You are not going to believe I am telling the truth, but I am. I really, really am. I just discovered that I am wearing my pants INSIDE OUT. I am NOT KIDDING. They are black, so it's hard to tell, but I am seriously losing it, people. This is a first. Without drinking. I am mortified. MORTIFIED. Perhaps I shouldn't get dressed in the laundry room anymore. LOL!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Autopilot & iTunes
Right now, I'm tuning everyone out listening to iTunes with my headphones on. I have a load of tedious paperwork and data entry to do, and my brain will be mush I'm sure, by noon. I don't have to think too much about those activities, so the music helps with the monotony. I'm listening to the soundtrack from "Lost in Translation". I decided I liked it after watching it a week or so ago and downloaded some songs. I especially like "Girls" by "Death in Vegas" and "Just Like Honey" by "The Jesus and Mary Chain". Are you sick of my stupid selfies, yet?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
An Odd Stop
I took my mom out for dinner tonight right after work, and it was really nice. I wasn't having a meltdown this time, and we got to talk, just the two of us. I mean really talk. We have a bond now that is stronger than it ever was before, and it is so sweet. I'm not afraid to tell her things anymore and I can really be myself. We went to one of her favorite Mexican food places where they serve the best sangria. (She really missed her sangria in California.) I'm completely stuffed, and I don't think I'll eat for a week.
On the drive home, I had an overwhelming feeling to stop by the river. There is a big river that runs through the town I live in, and I don't think I've been down to it for years. I kept thinking, "Why do I have this weird feeling to stop? It's 8:30 at damn night!" It was still daylight, but still, very strange. So, all by myself, I drove down the unpaved, rocky hill into this little picnic area parking lot. I sat in the SUV for a few minutes feeling a little dumb, then all of a sudden, I felt like I wanted to get out and walk down to the bank of the river. So, I did. In clogs. Nothing special happened, really, I just stood there, staring at the river. So beautiful, and so quiet. There was no one else there, just me. I just watched the rushing water. I don't know how long I stood there, maybe 10 minutes or so. I drove home in silence. I walked into the house, which was also oddly quiet. So, there you have it, my little detour home. I have no idea, I guess I'm just a weirdo. Now I'm blogging about it.
On the drive home, I had an overwhelming feeling to stop by the river. There is a big river that runs through the town I live in, and I don't think I've been down to it for years. I kept thinking, "Why do I have this weird feeling to stop? It's 8:30 at damn night!" It was still daylight, but still, very strange. So, all by myself, I drove down the unpaved, rocky hill into this little picnic area parking lot. I sat in the SUV for a few minutes feeling a little dumb, then all of a sudden, I felt like I wanted to get out and walk down to the bank of the river. So, I did. In clogs. Nothing special happened, really, I just stood there, staring at the river. So beautiful, and so quiet. There was no one else there, just me. I just watched the rushing water. I don't know how long I stood there, maybe 10 minutes or so. I drove home in silence. I walked into the house, which was also oddly quiet. So, there you have it, my little detour home. I have no idea, I guess I'm just a weirdo. Now I'm blogging about it.
Special Agent CrazyDogMama
So, I officially reached the "too old" point on May 12 to be recruited into the FBI. Which I was seriously considering. No one knew. So, mom, you can breathe now. Back in college I was approached by a recruiter that wanted to send me to Quantico ASAP; they wanted to yank me out only two years into college, then send me back to finish. (Having a bachelor's degree is required for employment.) I didn't take it because I wasn't ready to leave everything and everyone I knew behind. I interned for the local sheriff's department instead, in the fraud unit, then went on to the academy after that. A part of me regrets not taking the opportunity, but then again, it obviously wasn't meant to be. There is something else, I think, that is awaiting me. Something very interesting.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Um, these are good!
"Rockstar Roasted Coffee Latte"
Somebody save me from myself.
"When Ignorance is Bliss, Somebody Save Me from Myself" - Jars of Clay
It's an interesting quote/lyric, I think. I'm not going to write my interpretation or what it means to me but leave that to you. You might think it is intriguing or insightful, or you may just think it is ridiculous and makes no sense. It's up to you. That is the beauty of lyrics, poems, quotes, books, and basically everything communicated, it is subject to interpretation. Sometimes I find something that really speaks to me for whatever reason. This is what got me thinking today.
I had a major meltdown yesterday, which was really fun, and I felt so bad for doing that when it was the first time I had seen my mom in so long. She worries about me, and she is dealing with major stuff herself. I kept apologizing, which she didn't understand, but I wanted her to know that I wasn't trying to upset her, that my emotions were just on overload. I'm calmer today, although my eyes look like somebody punched me in them. They are all puffy and swollen. I hate that. Coming to work sometimes helps get my mind off of things. I am forced to deal with the world, and responsibilities.
In my younger days, especially when I was in Law Enforcement, I had the ability to be "robotic" with my emotions. I could turn them off with the snap of my fingers. Completely disengage from emotion all together whenever I wanted to. For some reason, I lost that ability somewhere along the road. It wasn't that I didn't have emotions, I could just control them. I would simply say to myself, "I'll cry about that later, or I'll get angry about that tomorrow." Just shove those pesky feelings aside. I can still maintain absolute control in a crisis, but on an everyday level, if I feel sad, I'm sad, if I feel irritated, I'm irritated. No hiding it. Weird, huh?
I had Eggo waffles for breakfast from the company kitchen this morning. My eating has been less than stellar this last week. I haven't cooked, just been eating crap. Macaroni and cheese, frozen burritos, waffles, etc., or not eating at all. I'm thinking I need some vegetables and lean meat soon because I was doing so well, and now I feel like a big pile of poo. No wonder, my brain is fuzzy from all the junk food.
It's an interesting quote/lyric, I think. I'm not going to write my interpretation or what it means to me but leave that to you. You might think it is intriguing or insightful, or you may just think it is ridiculous and makes no sense. It's up to you. That is the beauty of lyrics, poems, quotes, books, and basically everything communicated, it is subject to interpretation. Sometimes I find something that really speaks to me for whatever reason. This is what got me thinking today.
I had a major meltdown yesterday, which was really fun, and I felt so bad for doing that when it was the first time I had seen my mom in so long. She worries about me, and she is dealing with major stuff herself. I kept apologizing, which she didn't understand, but I wanted her to know that I wasn't trying to upset her, that my emotions were just on overload. I'm calmer today, although my eyes look like somebody punched me in them. They are all puffy and swollen. I hate that. Coming to work sometimes helps get my mind off of things. I am forced to deal with the world, and responsibilities.
In my younger days, especially when I was in Law Enforcement, I had the ability to be "robotic" with my emotions. I could turn them off with the snap of my fingers. Completely disengage from emotion all together whenever I wanted to. For some reason, I lost that ability somewhere along the road. It wasn't that I didn't have emotions, I could just control them. I would simply say to myself, "I'll cry about that later, or I'll get angry about that tomorrow." Just shove those pesky feelings aside. I can still maintain absolute control in a crisis, but on an everyday level, if I feel sad, I'm sad, if I feel irritated, I'm irritated. No hiding it. Weird, huh?
I had Eggo waffles for breakfast from the company kitchen this morning. My eating has been less than stellar this last week. I haven't cooked, just been eating crap. Macaroni and cheese, frozen burritos, waffles, etc., or not eating at all. I'm thinking I need some vegetables and lean meat soon because I was doing so well, and now I feel like a big pile of poo. No wonder, my brain is fuzzy from all the junk food.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
An especially hard day.
It is Father's Day and also my dad's birthday. I've spent a good part of the morning curled up in the fetal position crying. Some parts of me feel so empty and gone. It is hard to explain. I don't even know who I am right now. For lots of reasons.
My mom is back and is coming over for dinner, so that will be nice, but I'm not such good company right now. I'm glad she is home, though, I've missed her terribly, she's been gone for 9 weeks.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there, and to all of you who can, go give your fathers a big hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them.
My mom is back and is coming over for dinner, so that will be nice, but I'm not such good company right now. I'm glad she is home, though, I've missed her terribly, she's been gone for 9 weeks.
Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there, and to all of you who can, go give your fathers a big hug and kiss and tell them how much you love them.
I hate golf, but Tiger does have a gift.
Because of Jim, I did catch some of the US Open yesterday and was completely astounded by Tiger's amazing putts. He is a truly gifted golfer. Usually watching golf is like watching paint dry for me, but that was pretty darn impressive. I've thought of giving golf a chance, but I don't know. I'd probably get too frustrated. I used to be such an adrenaline junkie, and golf just wasn't quite exciting enough for me, but the older I get, the more I realize my ninja days are over.
I watched Jim golf once and rode around in the golf cart taking pictures. He kept slicing his golf balls into the water hazards and I just laughed and told him, "Why don't you just go dump the rest of the box of balls into the water so we can go?" He didn't find that amusing. LOL.
I watched Jim golf once and rode around in the golf cart taking pictures. He kept slicing his golf balls into the water hazards and I just laughed and told him, "Why don't you just go dump the rest of the box of balls into the water so we can go?" He didn't find that amusing. LOL.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Comedy Central
"So where IS Shit Creek, anyway? Why would you go there, and why wouldn't you bring a paddle?
"Barack Hussein Obama. What a hard name to win people over with. The only harder name would be Charles Mansion Hitler. "
ROFLMAO!
I'm watching comedy central. I don't know who the guy is, but he's funny. I am easily amused.
"Barack Hussein Obama. What a hard name to win people over with. The only harder name would be Charles Mansion Hitler. "
ROFLMAO!
I'm watching comedy central. I don't know who the guy is, but he's funny. I am easily amused.
Blog Slam
So, I just got slammed on another blog for my bathtub pics.
She went on and on about what kinds of blogs to steer clear of: poor blog design, not many comments, and people who post pics of themselves in the bathtub. She mentions this several times, and even ends her post with it. She seems to really think this is the dredge of bloggery. See this is why I don't talk bad about anyone on my blog, only myself. She not only just lost a reader, but I'm taking her off of my links. Not that she'll care. I am probably one of the least judgmental people you'll ever meet, I just don't give a flip about whatever floats your boat. Sure, stupid people annoy me, but I would never end a friendship over it or slam their character personally. I think it is a waste of time to be arrogant and self-important. Some of the very best people I've met have poor blog design and post weird stuff. There are so many things I could say about this person as far as my observations go, but there is no point. I'm not taking the righteous high road; I just don't want to waste my time. I'm just going to kick the dust off of my heels and move on. Not everyone is going to love me.
Or, I could just say "Bite me you arrogant, ugly twit." but, nah. LOL.
She went on and on about what kinds of blogs to steer clear of: poor blog design, not many comments, and people who post pics of themselves in the bathtub. She mentions this several times, and even ends her post with it. She seems to really think this is the dredge of bloggery. See this is why I don't talk bad about anyone on my blog, only myself. She not only just lost a reader, but I'm taking her off of my links. Not that she'll care. I am probably one of the least judgmental people you'll ever meet, I just don't give a flip about whatever floats your boat. Sure, stupid people annoy me, but I would never end a friendship over it or slam their character personally. I think it is a waste of time to be arrogant and self-important. Some of the very best people I've met have poor blog design and post weird stuff. There are so many things I could say about this person as far as my observations go, but there is no point. I'm not taking the righteous high road; I just don't want to waste my time. I'm just going to kick the dust off of my heels and move on. Not everyone is going to love me.
Or, I could just say "Bite me you arrogant, ugly twit." but, nah. LOL.
Mental health, what not to do.
Do you know what I did with my day off? My supposed "mental health" day? I washed the dogs and clipped their toenails. I KNOW. This did not help my mental health. Trust me on this one. I have the craziest, stubbornest, most willful little fuzzy brats in the WORLD. It is truly exhausting. At some point today they will "spite piss" somewhere to get even with me, then I will go ballistic and have to take an anxiety pill.
I really want macaroni and cheese. At 9:30 am. I'm going to go make it. Be back later.
I really want macaroni and cheese. At 9:30 am. I'm going to go make it. Be back later.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Party of One
Thursday, June 12, 2008
SPLAT
I need to add "bird" to my repertoire of kills with my vehicle. There have now been 3 deer, a dog and a bird. Last night while driving home, a big, fat bird flew right smack into my windshield as I was going about 60 mph. It left a nice BIG blob of guts and blood and of course scared the living piss out of me. I used my windshield wipers and fluid to try and clean it off, but all it did was smear it all over the place. In chunks. There are chunks of guts still on my windshield. I'll need to hose that off later.
In other news, Jim left this morning for California, and I will be having an exciting "party for one" tonight. I plan to take a nice hot bath with lots of bath salts and good smellies, accompanied by candles and champagne. I'm taking tomorrow off for "mental health" and I'm hoping to get some much-needed sleep.
In other news, Jim left this morning for California, and I will be having an exciting "party for one" tonight. I plan to take a nice hot bath with lots of bath salts and good smellies, accompanied by candles and champagne. I'm taking tomorrow off for "mental health" and I'm hoping to get some much-needed sleep.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A beautiful Tuesday morning in June.
It's raining and drizzling. It actually doesn't bother me all that much, and it makes me laugh to hear everyone complaining. I may be alone on this, but I hope the summer is mellow. I like the sunshine as much as the next guy, but I like 'pleasant' weather. I don't have air conditioning, so if it gets really hot, I feel like I can't breathe.
I have a bit of a headache I need to get rid of, and a whole butt-load of work on my desk. *sigh*. Another day in paradise.
I have a bit of a headache I need to get rid of, and a whole butt-load of work on my desk. *sigh*. Another day in paradise.
Monday, June 09, 2008
I'm calmer now, you can come out of hiding.
I am shopping for a Blackberry. Maybe a Curve? Do you have one? Do you like it? What kind do you have? Would you get a different one if you could? I can't live without the internet/email now at any given point in my day. Plus, if I EVER get to travel, I may not want to take my laptop.
I need feedback because I am virtually clueless about these right now. I am just now starting to do my research. You tech people out there need to help me. Thanks.
I need feedback because I am virtually clueless about these right now. I am just now starting to do my research. You tech people out there need to help me. Thanks.
Pep Talk
This is not for the faint of heart, just so you know. I read what I wrote this morning and just shook my head. I decided to look myself in the mirror and say this:
"Snap out of it. You are acting ridiculous. Quit being a whiny-ass wuss. You've been through worse, and you will GO THROUGH WORSE. You know that the earth is about to split open and unleash the demons of hell, and you better stop being an idiot drama-queen RIGHT NOW. You are stronger than this. You are not this stupid, nor gullible. You've had some pain, some loss, some heartache, now it's time to GET OVER IT. What is going to happen, is going to happen. People are going to do what they are going to do, or not. You know what you have to do. You know what needs to be done. DO IT. Go get your work done!"
I think I missed my calling as a Drill Sargeant.
"Snap out of it. You are acting ridiculous. Quit being a whiny-ass wuss. You've been through worse, and you will GO THROUGH WORSE. You know that the earth is about to split open and unleash the demons of hell, and you better stop being an idiot drama-queen RIGHT NOW. You are stronger than this. You are not this stupid, nor gullible. You've had some pain, some loss, some heartache, now it's time to GET OVER IT. What is going to happen, is going to happen. People are going to do what they are going to do, or not. You know what you have to do. You know what needs to be done. DO IT. Go get your work done!"
I think I missed my calling as a Drill Sargeant.
I shouldn't blog today.
I kind of collapsed yesterday and slept all day. The whole not sleeping thing eventually catches up with you. I'm tired of hearing myself complain, so I figured the rest of the world could do without it too. I'm depressed, or sad, I guess. I'm not just having a couple of bad days; I can't shake this funk and its starting to piss me off. So many things have happened to me personally in the last 6 months or so, and I tend to internalize everything. I guess that catches up with you too. Just when you think you are strong, you find out how weak you are. The work is piling up on my desk and I'm just staring at it. I'm going to have to gather all the strength I have to do it. I don't think anyone is going to rescue me from this mess.
Some days I have great hope for things, then the next I just feel like a fool. Yeah, I blog about some things, and I talk to a therapist, but what it comes down to, is no matter how hard I try, well, you know. No one gets what's going on with me, because I keep most of it to myself. I'll feel good for about a week here and there. Honestly, right now, I don't feel like praying, and I don't feel like talking. Which isn't like me. Life throws weird stuff at you. Sometimes I don't get it. I find myself saying stuff like "What am I supposed to do with that?" "How am I supposed to react to this?" Just feeling alone, even though I'm really not. Don't give up on me.
Someone just came up to me and told me I looked nice today. Which is sweet, especially since it was a guy. But I'm like, whatever, thanks. Somebody needs to smack me, geez! I managed to snap a couple of Monday morning piss-fest pictures of myself. These are not the sexiest pics, I know. Back away slowly. I bite. I was trying to throw a kiss, but look as though I'm about to burst into tears? Hot.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Saturday Quotes.
I like quotes. :) Enjoy.
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable."
- Helen Keller
"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible."
-Unknown
"Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries."
-Everett Dirksen
"The world is so constructed, that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains."
-Brahmnanda, Hindu philosopher
"Sadness is but a wall between two gardens."
-Kahlil Gibran
"Seek the wisdom of the ages but look at the world through the eyes of a child."
-Ron Wild
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is awaiting us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one is to come."
-Joseph Campbell
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable."
- Helen Keller
"Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible."
-Unknown
"Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries."
-Everett Dirksen
"The world is so constructed, that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains."
-Brahmnanda, Hindu philosopher
"Sadness is but a wall between two gardens."
-Kahlil Gibran
"Seek the wisdom of the ages but look at the world through the eyes of a child."
-Ron Wild
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is awaiting us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one is to come."
-Joseph Campbell
Places I want to go before I die.
I've compiled a list of all the places I've always wanted to go. I guess I would be happy going ANYWHERE since I've never been anywhere, but I suppose this would be my "ultimate" list. There are other places I would like to add to my list, but I'm going to start with this. It starts small and gets exponentially more expensive.
1. Las Vegas. I know, you can't believe I've never been there. Well, I haven't. This is actually doable for me. I'm not really a huge gambler/drinker, but I've heard it's a great place for an insomniac. I would really like to go on the rollercoaster on top of the building and the one that goes through the hotel, too. I love thrills.
2. New Orleans. I know it is not the same since Katrina, but I know I would fall in love with it. The jazz bars, the creepy cemeteries, the swamps. Imagine the photos I could take! The Cajun food! My favorite photographer makes me yearn to see it. http://www.juliabailey.com/
3. New York. I would love to just walk the streets of New York and people watch.
4. Northern Italy. I am partial to Northern Italian cuisine, and I adore Amarone wine. I would love to tour the Valpolicella region and specifically Veneto.
5. Greece. I really need to go to Santorini, Greece. I've wanted to go there for so long. I think it would be incredibly romantic and beautiful. All the white, rounded buildings/structures lining the hillsides. I hear Crete is amazing, too. the history alone is incredible.
6. Salzburg, Austria. I love Mozart. I took a classical music course in college and have wanted to visit Salzburg ever since.
7. Bavaria, Germany. I would love to see the Eagle's Nest. Perhaps drive the "Romantic Road".
8. Bora Bora, French Polynesia. I've never been any place tropical, and a friend of mine said this is "BAR NONE" the most amazingly beautiful place on earth. The water, the huts, the food, the people. I have a collection of photos I've gathered dreaming of this place. I use them as wallpapers on my computer.
9. Egypt. I am fascinated by Egyptian history. Who isn't? The pyramids, the tombs, the culture. Everything.
10. Israel. (The Holy Lands) It gives me goosebumps just thinking about the history there. A bit dangerous, but oh well.
The only other places I can think of are perhaps somewhere in Mexico, Puerto Rico? Cancun? I'm not sure yet. And maybe a tropical rain forest. South America? The Congo? I don't know, though.
One thing at a time. I'm trying to plan a trip to Vegas, maybe September? I know it will be really hard to twist Juice's arm to meet me there.
1. Las Vegas. I know, you can't believe I've never been there. Well, I haven't. This is actually doable for me. I'm not really a huge gambler/drinker, but I've heard it's a great place for an insomniac. I would really like to go on the rollercoaster on top of the building and the one that goes through the hotel, too. I love thrills.
2. New Orleans. I know it is not the same since Katrina, but I know I would fall in love with it. The jazz bars, the creepy cemeteries, the swamps. Imagine the photos I could take! The Cajun food! My favorite photographer makes me yearn to see it. http://www.juliabailey.com/
3. New York. I would love to just walk the streets of New York and people watch.
4. Northern Italy. I am partial to Northern Italian cuisine, and I adore Amarone wine. I would love to tour the Valpolicella region and specifically Veneto.
5. Greece. I really need to go to Santorini, Greece. I've wanted to go there for so long. I think it would be incredibly romantic and beautiful. All the white, rounded buildings/structures lining the hillsides. I hear Crete is amazing, too. the history alone is incredible.
6. Salzburg, Austria. I love Mozart. I took a classical music course in college and have wanted to visit Salzburg ever since.
7. Bavaria, Germany. I would love to see the Eagle's Nest. Perhaps drive the "Romantic Road".
8. Bora Bora, French Polynesia. I've never been any place tropical, and a friend of mine said this is "BAR NONE" the most amazingly beautiful place on earth. The water, the huts, the food, the people. I have a collection of photos I've gathered dreaming of this place. I use them as wallpapers on my computer.
9. Egypt. I am fascinated by Egyptian history. Who isn't? The pyramids, the tombs, the culture. Everything.
10. Israel. (The Holy Lands) It gives me goosebumps just thinking about the history there. A bit dangerous, but oh well.
The only other places I can think of are perhaps somewhere in Mexico, Puerto Rico? Cancun? I'm not sure yet. And maybe a tropical rain forest. South America? The Congo? I don't know, though.
One thing at a time. I'm trying to plan a trip to Vegas, maybe September? I know it will be really hard to twist Juice's arm to meet me there.
Friday, June 06, 2008
Really Good Quotes
"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."
- Elbert Hubbard
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-Carl Jung
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
-Mark Twain
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."
-Confucious
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
-M. Scott Peck
"In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
"If you understand everything, you must be misinformed."
-Japanese proverb
"You don't realize how good your memory is until you try to forget something."
-Unknown
"Confidence is the ability to be more interested than afraid."
-Unknown
- Elbert Hubbard
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances, if there is any reaction, both are transformed."
-Carl Jung
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect."
-Mark Twain
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."
-Confucious
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers."
-M. Scott Peck
"In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
"If you understand everything, you must be misinformed."
-Japanese proverb
"You don't realize how good your memory is until you try to forget something."
-Unknown
"Confidence is the ability to be more interested than afraid."
-Unknown
The calm before the storm.
This is how I woke up feeling this morning. I don't know if it is personal to me, or if it is more far reaching. Thought I would post it to see if I am alone on this or not. Could be both, I guess.
I'm not trying to be dramatic. Much.
I'm not trying to be dramatic. Much.
Nacho Bar Night
Hole is quite anal-retentive about putting a nacho plate together. Let me explain. She methodically and systematically lines each and every tortilla strip up on the plate. She then proceeds to put individual clumps of cheese on EACH chip. It was explained to me that it is of the utmost importance to have cheese on ALL tortilla chips evenly. She then re-layers. Then, she puts the plate in the "MIKE". She does not "nuke" her nachos, or put them in the microwave, she "MIKES" them. Also new for me. She does not have the patience for stove-cooking nachos, nor knows how to use the stove. LOL. I have to get cultured somehow. I have documented the photographic evidence of such behavior. You have not experienced nachos, until you have experienced nachos with Hole. ME? I grab a handful of chips, throw them on the plate, grab cheese and fling it on the chips (no tongs, people, big handfuls), NUKE them, then smother them with sour cream and the hottest salsa I can find. End of story. She brought me Reses peanut butter cups, however, so the love is flowing all over for her right now.
You should have heard us singing (and we weren't drinking). Harmonizing is hard. Especially when you forget the words or laugh too much. I had to leave, and I missed a rendition of the "Macarena". It was very unfortunate; I really would have liked to have seen those two attempt that.
I stayed up WAY too late. It was a work night for me, and Juice lives a good hour to an hour and a half away from me. It turned out OK though, I flew down the freeway with hardly any other cars on the road (rare). There is something about driving a dark, empty freeway at night. Something soothing about it. Especially when you have peanut butter cups.
My gas light came on about halfway home. I still had at least 30 miles to go. Sweet. Someone upstairs was looking out for me, though, because I made it all the way to the Sultan gas station! It was closed and all dark, but the pumps were on if you had a credit card/debit card. Thank God! As I was gassing up, it was spooky. It's like the town was deserted, but then all of sudden some drunk idiots came stumbling out of the bar across the street yelling obscenities and whatnot. Great. That's all I need right now. What am I going to do, throw peanut butter cups at them? I hid behind my truck a little bit hoping they wouldn't spot me. I kept coming up with psycho survival plans like pouring gas on them and threatening to use my lighter. But then I realized that would blow all of us up. OK, not a good plan. They didn't approach me, but then something worse happened. I saw the final total. SEVENTY DOLLARS for gas. HOLY CRAP! Now I wish they had come and killed me. Gas is $4.25 a gallon. My mom is still in California and said it is $4.45 down there. This is scary. I think we're on the verge of some kind of economic crash, what do you think?
Oh, btw, apparently, according to Hole and Juice, my new nickname is "SPF 36". It means "Sugar Plum Fairy" and my age is 36. Hmmm. Okaaay. I guess I dance in your head, as sugar plum fairies do, are you good with that? You can call me whatever you like. I don't mind.
My gas light came on about halfway home. I still had at least 30 miles to go. Sweet. Someone upstairs was looking out for me, though, because I made it all the way to the Sultan gas station! It was closed and all dark, but the pumps were on if you had a credit card/debit card. Thank God! As I was gassing up, it was spooky. It's like the town was deserted, but then all of sudden some drunk idiots came stumbling out of the bar across the street yelling obscenities and whatnot. Great. That's all I need right now. What am I going to do, throw peanut butter cups at them? I hid behind my truck a little bit hoping they wouldn't spot me. I kept coming up with psycho survival plans like pouring gas on them and threatening to use my lighter. But then I realized that would blow all of us up. OK, not a good plan. They didn't approach me, but then something worse happened. I saw the final total. SEVENTY DOLLARS for gas. HOLY CRAP! Now I wish they had come and killed me. Gas is $4.25 a gallon. My mom is still in California and said it is $4.45 down there. This is scary. I think we're on the verge of some kind of economic crash, what do you think?
Oh, btw, apparently, according to Hole and Juice, my new nickname is "SPF 36". It means "Sugar Plum Fairy" and my age is 36. Hmmm. Okaaay. I guess I dance in your head, as sugar plum fairies do, are you good with that? You can call me whatever you like. I don't mind.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Today
I haven't talked to anyone today. No one has talked to me. Don't have a clue what to say. It's so quiet right now I can hear my own heart beating.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Important Questions
If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? I narrowed it down to either flying or invisibility. But then my analytical and neurotic brain started overthinking it and I thought, well, invisibility could be tricky unless you could also walk through walls and stuff because just opening doors and whatnot would scare people and they would end up calling an old priest and a young priest, and then I thought do I REALLY want to know what goes on? Probably not. It could be fun for a while, but then I think it would become a big burden. It would also be hard not to do evil things like go to the bank vault and just let people watch floating money go past them. Nope, invisibility is out.
OK, so flying. Cool, right? It would totally save on gas and the adrenaline junkie in me would be all excited. But wait a minute. The military would be trying to shoot me down all the time and people would be asking me to do stuff all the time, and I'd probably get really cold, you know, tights just wouldn't get it done. Also, if no one else could fly, then going to all those fun exotic places would be lonely and depressing. Damn it! Then I thought about the "Greatest American Hero" (remember that retarded show?) That would be me, trying to fly looking like an epileptic and then crash landing all over the place.
Maybe being able to shock stupid people when I feel like it? ZAP! Yeah, that would be a career, forget that.
OK, I'll settle for snapping my fingers for weight loss. Yeah, that works! I'll take that one.
OK, so flying. Cool, right? It would totally save on gas and the adrenaline junkie in me would be all excited. But wait a minute. The military would be trying to shoot me down all the time and people would be asking me to do stuff all the time, and I'd probably get really cold, you know, tights just wouldn't get it done. Also, if no one else could fly, then going to all those fun exotic places would be lonely and depressing. Damn it! Then I thought about the "Greatest American Hero" (remember that retarded show?) That would be me, trying to fly looking like an epileptic and then crash landing all over the place.
Maybe being able to shock stupid people when I feel like it? ZAP! Yeah, that would be a career, forget that.
OK, I'll settle for snapping my fingers for weight loss. Yeah, that works! I'll take that one.
Something to break up the Dr. Phil talk.
#1 Senior Prom! Holy Boobs, Batman! I can't believe my dad let me out of the house that way. LOL.
#2 Dirt biking! I'm not very good at it, but it's fun.
#3 My Sergeant (boss) when I worked for the King County Fraud Unit. Look at the dinosaur computer!
#4 Me doing slave labor. My mom had me splitting wood, and all I got for it was a U2 record.
#5 Me graduating from the Police Academy. Can you find me? I'm the one that looks 12 and really intimidating. A mistake many of my arrestees made. Ha.
#6 My fav place in the whole world (so far) is at Bridal Veil Falls in Index, WA. I used to hike up there all the time, it is incredibly beautiful and refreshing!
#7 Rats! I used to have pet rats. This is Cappuccino and Amaretto. (Cappy and Rhetto)
#8 I'm a skydiver. This was my perfect landing. I'm better at this than dirt biking.
#9 Me dancing with my Uncle Burt. Uncle Burt is really funny and has mutton chops.
#9 Me dancing with my Uncle Burt. Uncle Burt is really funny and has mutton chops.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Lost in Translation
I don't know why, but I LOVE this movie. It conveys so much of the kind of emotion I can relate with. I like how you can tell what they are feeling without any words. I can also identify with the insomnia! See? I don't just watch horror movies. I'm watching it right now (taking a short break) and thinking of nuking a frozen burrito. I'm by myself tonight and don't feel like cooking.
Giving up, or opening up?
It's a bit hard to explain, I suppose. Maybe I used the wrong words. Part of it is realizing some things will never change, part of it is realizing that you can't stop yourself from changing, part of it is realizing that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is, and part of it is just thinking everything is crystal clear, or black and white, when in fact, it isn't. Life is complicated. People are complicated. You might think you understand something or someone, but you could be wrong. I'd like to say that I'll never give up on my dreams or my desires, but I get frustrated. Everyone does. My therapist laughed at me when I said "I give up" today. She explained to me that I was in a huge transition period and that I could expect that everything that used to feel comfortable, will become uncomfortable, at least for a while. I'm breaking old patterns of behavior and my ideas/thoughts on certain subjects have been slightly altered. I'm finding myself in unfamiliar territory. I guess I'm giving up on trying to stop that from happening. I'm just going to let it happen. You could say I'm "opening myself up to new things and ideas".
I sound like a damned idiot, don't I? LOL.
I sound like a damned idiot, don't I? LOL.
Have you ever noticed?
Change is inevitable, but much of the time the things you WANT to change, don't, and the things you DON'T WANT to change, do?
My alarm is supposed to go off at 6 am. I've been up since 5 am, and not because I am excited to go work. What is wrong with me? Why do I have so much trouble sleeping? When I was a kid, I could sleep anywhere, anytime. My parents were on a bowling league, and I even fell asleep at the bowling alley. It's only been the last couple of years that this sleeping thing has been a problem, and I've been stressed out longer than a couple of years. I can't get certain things off of my mind, yet I can't really concentrate on any one thing for too long. Its maddening! The really strange thing is, I LOVE to sleep. You'd think it would be easy for me since I love it so much. I get all cuddled up in my blankies with the fuzz-butts and I feel safe and warm. I guess I'm good with naps, but the nighttime thing just doesn't work anymore.
My alarm is supposed to go off at 6 am. I've been up since 5 am, and not because I am excited to go work. What is wrong with me? Why do I have so much trouble sleeping? When I was a kid, I could sleep anywhere, anytime. My parents were on a bowling league, and I even fell asleep at the bowling alley. It's only been the last couple of years that this sleeping thing has been a problem, and I've been stressed out longer than a couple of years. I can't get certain things off of my mind, yet I can't really concentrate on any one thing for too long. Its maddening! The really strange thing is, I LOVE to sleep. You'd think it would be easy for me since I love it so much. I get all cuddled up in my blankies with the fuzz-butts and I feel safe and warm. I guess I'm good with naps, but the nighttime thing just doesn't work anymore.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Everybody Loves Raymond
I didn't really watch it when it was on the air, but "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a damn funny show. I've been watching reruns and DYING from laughter at some of the scenes. There is some good writing for that show.
Best Moment #1: When Raymond is the only witness to his brother Robert's newest girlfriend eating a fly. You have to watch the whole episode, because the best part is toward the end when Raymond is trying to explain to his wife Debra and brother what he saw. OMG, it's hilarious.
Best Moment #2: (One of the reasons I don't have children.) Ray's wife brought an "unapproved" snack to their daughter's T-ball game and when she was reprimanded, she got mad and refused to bring the right kind of snack next week. Not supporting his wife making a point, Ray sneaks in some "approved snacks" and gives it to the weenie dad when Debra leaves for a moment. The dad is trying to thank Ray and doesn't know Debra doesn't know, and in fear of Debra getting really mad, Ray freaks out. I had to keep rewinding this scene.
Best Moment #1: When Raymond is the only witness to his brother Robert's newest girlfriend eating a fly. You have to watch the whole episode, because the best part is toward the end when Raymond is trying to explain to his wife Debra and brother what he saw. OMG, it's hilarious.
Best Moment #2: (One of the reasons I don't have children.) Ray's wife brought an "unapproved" snack to their daughter's T-ball game and when she was reprimanded, she got mad and refused to bring the right kind of snack next week. Not supporting his wife making a point, Ray sneaks in some "approved snacks" and gives it to the weenie dad when Debra leaves for a moment. The dad is trying to thank Ray and doesn't know Debra doesn't know, and in fear of Debra getting really mad, Ray freaks out. I had to keep rewinding this scene.
Train Tunnels & Ice
*Before I get into this, I have to tell you that I have received a HUGE amount of crap for deleting my "Turn On's" post so quickly, so for the 100th time, I'M SORRY! BOA, I promise to not care about what anyone thinks anymore.
Now, as most of you know, I don't sleep well. I either sleep too much, or don't sleep at all. Well, last night was no exception, but it was the sleep for 2 hours, then wake up for 2 hours, on repeat. During those brief slumber periods, though, I must have hit REM sleep because I had some bizarre dreams. Most of the time people either have nonsensical dreams, or just random subconscious dreams. Me? I have premonition and "vision" dreams, vivid "epic" dreams with plots and development, and ones I call "must be a product of my therapy" or symbolic of emotions dreams. I think the dreams I had last night were the symbolic emotion kind.
"The Train Tunnel Dream"
I was in a train tunnel. It wasn't a very long tunnel, and it smelled like a cow pasture. There were a few others in the tunnel with me, no one I recognized, just random faces. Every few seconds, a really fast train would come flying through the tunnel at a warp speed. Sparks would fly as it cornered the rails on its way out of the tunnel. We would all have to smash ourselves up against the wall each time the train came through to avoid getting run over. Every time I tried to make a run for it to get out of the tunnel, I heard the roaring of the train coming and had to slam up against the wall again. My truck was parked just outside the tunnel, and I was trying to get to it, but was having no luck. The train almost hit the truck every time it cornered, and I would hold my breath because it was my only ticket out of there. As you can imagine I was frustrated and agitated. I was trapped and could see a way out but couldn't quite get there. After many attempts to run or just inch my way along, I finally looked at the other people and said, "Fuck it!", I'm out of here, if I get run over, I get run over. A man standing next to me grabbed my shoulder and said, "WAIT", have patience. I looked over at him and said, "Have you met me? I'm Cheryl, and I have zero patience." He just laughed but held on to my shoulder. I sighed and felt the wind of the damn train go by again. It was LOUD. The man told me that there was a pattern to the trains, and if we could figure it out, then we could escape without harm. Unfortunately, that's all I remember.
"The Ice Dream"
The other dream I remember was a little funny. I had been driving trying to find a place and was a little lost. I was with two other people, a couple. I didn't like them for some reason, and they didn't like me. We stopped at some cafe somewhere for something to eat and we were all drinking sodas; me regular coke, and them diet cokes. I got up to refill mine and they slid their cups over to me so that I could refill theirs too. I was annoyed but picked them up anyway. I went over to the soda dispenser and started getting ice for all of the cups. Ice went EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere. It was shooting out all over the floor and piling up. I just kind of stood there watching it happen. The couple were looking at me shaking their heads as if saying "she can't even fill sodas". The ice wouldn't stop, and I just started to crack up.
Now, as most of you know, I don't sleep well. I either sleep too much, or don't sleep at all. Well, last night was no exception, but it was the sleep for 2 hours, then wake up for 2 hours, on repeat. During those brief slumber periods, though, I must have hit REM sleep because I had some bizarre dreams. Most of the time people either have nonsensical dreams, or just random subconscious dreams. Me? I have premonition and "vision" dreams, vivid "epic" dreams with plots and development, and ones I call "must be a product of my therapy" or symbolic of emotions dreams. I think the dreams I had last night were the symbolic emotion kind.
"The Train Tunnel Dream"
I was in a train tunnel. It wasn't a very long tunnel, and it smelled like a cow pasture. There were a few others in the tunnel with me, no one I recognized, just random faces. Every few seconds, a really fast train would come flying through the tunnel at a warp speed. Sparks would fly as it cornered the rails on its way out of the tunnel. We would all have to smash ourselves up against the wall each time the train came through to avoid getting run over. Every time I tried to make a run for it to get out of the tunnel, I heard the roaring of the train coming and had to slam up against the wall again. My truck was parked just outside the tunnel, and I was trying to get to it, but was having no luck. The train almost hit the truck every time it cornered, and I would hold my breath because it was my only ticket out of there. As you can imagine I was frustrated and agitated. I was trapped and could see a way out but couldn't quite get there. After many attempts to run or just inch my way along, I finally looked at the other people and said, "Fuck it!", I'm out of here, if I get run over, I get run over. A man standing next to me grabbed my shoulder and said, "WAIT", have patience. I looked over at him and said, "Have you met me? I'm Cheryl, and I have zero patience." He just laughed but held on to my shoulder. I sighed and felt the wind of the damn train go by again. It was LOUD. The man told me that there was a pattern to the trains, and if we could figure it out, then we could escape without harm. Unfortunately, that's all I remember.
"The Ice Dream"
The other dream I remember was a little funny. I had been driving trying to find a place and was a little lost. I was with two other people, a couple. I didn't like them for some reason, and they didn't like me. We stopped at some cafe somewhere for something to eat and we were all drinking sodas; me regular coke, and them diet cokes. I got up to refill mine and they slid their cups over to me so that I could refill theirs too. I was annoyed but picked them up anyway. I went over to the soda dispenser and started getting ice for all of the cups. Ice went EVERYWHERE, and I mean everywhere. It was shooting out all over the floor and piling up. I just kind of stood there watching it happen. The couple were looking at me shaking their heads as if saying "she can't even fill sodas". The ice wouldn't stop, and I just started to crack up.
I need a dream interpreter!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Another MEME.
Aren't you guys sick of these yet?
Like you don't know enough about me already. Some of my readers don't have blogs and I never get to tag them with these things and therefore don't get to know anything. I don't know how many of these I can even answer right now, but I'll give it a shot.
1. Favorite Person - I like Hole's answer: My Soulmate. It's a weird term, though, do you think those really exist, or is it just your special someone that you connect with?
2. Favorite Food - Steak.
3. Quirks about you - OMG. You tell me. I am one big quirk.
4. How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? I don't know. I hope it would be good things.
5. Any regrets in life? - Yup.
6. Favorite charity/cause - The CrazyDogMama charity/cause. We like donations, compliments and comments.
7. Favorite Blog - I don't have just one. I love all my peeps.
8. Something you can't get enough of - Um, let's not go there.
9. Worst job you ever had - Bookkeeper for "Cucina Cucina". My boss was a dickhead and when I went up against him for harassment, he fired me, and no one would listen to me. Fuckers.
10. What job would you pay NOT to have - I don't know.
11. If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be? - I can't say.
12. Bible verse? There are lots of them.
13. Guilty pleasure - Massages and iced mochas.
14. Got any confessions? - Yeah, like I'm going to tell you.
15. If you had $1000 to spend on YOURSELF, what would you spend it on? - Right now? Either a new laptop or a plane ticket out of town.
16. Favorite thing about your house - My red wall.
17. Least favorite thing - I'm assuming about my house? It is too small. If you turn around, you run into yourself.
18. One thing you are bad at - Getting what I want.
19. If you could change one thing about your current circumstances, what would it be? - I'm not talking about that.
20. Who would you like to meet someday? - Some of my readers. Yogagirl (we almost got to!), KS, Otter.
21. What makes you feel sexy? - When people make me feel good about myself.
22. Who is your real-life hero? - All of our soldiers.
23. What is the hardest part of your job? - When I have nearly impossible deadlines.
24. When are you most relaxed? - I'm never relaxed.
25. What stresses you out? - Everything.
26. What can you NOT live without - Love, sex, food.
27. Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? - Who cares. I'm a narcissist! Cool!
28. Why do you blog? - I like the attention and I love to write.
29. Who are you tagging? - All my readers that have not done so already, with blogs or not.
Like you don't know enough about me already. Some of my readers don't have blogs and I never get to tag them with these things and therefore don't get to know anything. I don't know how many of these I can even answer right now, but I'll give it a shot.
1. Favorite Person - I like Hole's answer: My Soulmate. It's a weird term, though, do you think those really exist, or is it just your special someone that you connect with?
2. Favorite Food - Steak.
3. Quirks about you - OMG. You tell me. I am one big quirk.
4. How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? I don't know. I hope it would be good things.
5. Any regrets in life? - Yup.
6. Favorite charity/cause - The CrazyDogMama charity/cause. We like donations, compliments and comments.
7. Favorite Blog - I don't have just one. I love all my peeps.
8. Something you can't get enough of - Um, let's not go there.
9. Worst job you ever had - Bookkeeper for "Cucina Cucina". My boss was a dickhead and when I went up against him for harassment, he fired me, and no one would listen to me. Fuckers.
10. What job would you pay NOT to have - I don't know.
11. If you could be a fly on the wall anywhere, where would it be? - I can't say.
12. Bible verse? There are lots of them.
13. Guilty pleasure - Massages and iced mochas.
14. Got any confessions? - Yeah, like I'm going to tell you.
15. If you had $1000 to spend on YOURSELF, what would you spend it on? - Right now? Either a new laptop or a plane ticket out of town.
16. Favorite thing about your house - My red wall.
17. Least favorite thing - I'm assuming about my house? It is too small. If you turn around, you run into yourself.
18. One thing you are bad at - Getting what I want.
19. If you could change one thing about your current circumstances, what would it be? - I'm not talking about that.
20. Who would you like to meet someday? - Some of my readers. Yogagirl (we almost got to!), KS, Otter.
21. What makes you feel sexy? - When people make me feel good about myself.
22. Who is your real-life hero? - All of our soldiers.
23. What is the hardest part of your job? - When I have nearly impossible deadlines.
24. When are you most relaxed? - I'm never relaxed.
25. What stresses you out? - Everything.
26. What can you NOT live without - Love, sex, food.
27. Do you agree or disagree with the recent article that reported that blogs are authored by narcissists? - Who cares. I'm a narcissist! Cool!
28. Why do you blog? - I like the attention and I love to write.
29. Who are you tagging? - All my readers that have not done so already, with blogs or not.
Chaos
I have been pulling out my hair since 6 am this morning. I'm having computer/internet problems and I don't handle that well. I haven't done anything but sit in my office like a crazed animal. I think there is a big outage or problem somewhere because many of the sites I frequent are "down". I need to eat, I need to bathe, I need to comb my hair, I need to get out of my T-shirt and underwear. AAHH! Help me!
You want a picture of me crazed out? It's not pretty. Regarding your "Knights in Shining Armor" comment, Hole? Mine needs to come equipped with excellent computer skills and the ability to woo me away from the computer. LOL.
You want a picture of me crazed out? It's not pretty. Regarding your "Knights in Shining Armor" comment, Hole? Mine needs to come equipped with excellent computer skills and the ability to woo me away from the computer. LOL.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Have I gone soft?
Nah, I'm still feisty, passionate and playful, don't you worry. I was just embarrassed a little. Sometimes when I express myself, I think it makes some people uncomfortable. They don't quite know what to think. Oh well, too bad for them. I have to go marinate my chicken now - I'm putting together a big spread.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Maybe I should have left the poll up longer.
Sorry y'all.
My intention was not to be crude or unladylike or anything like that, and I certainly didn't want to "scare" anyone. I do that enough on a regular basis. LOL. (I thought my answers were nice and normal!) I just wanted to be fun and different. If you still want to play, please comment your "turn-ons" for me, anonymously if you prefer. Juice, you can repost your witty comment here, I would be honored.
You have to forgive me; I am going through a very hard time in my life. My therapy has become very intense and I'm just trying to embrace life a little. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.
My intention was not to be crude or unladylike or anything like that, and I certainly didn't want to "scare" anyone. I do that enough on a regular basis. LOL. (I thought my answers were nice and normal!) I just wanted to be fun and different. If you still want to play, please comment your "turn-ons" for me, anonymously if you prefer. Juice, you can repost your witty comment here, I would be honored.
You have to forgive me; I am going through a very hard time in my life. My therapy has become very intense and I'm just trying to embrace life a little. I haven't been able to do that in a long time.
My fans are clearly not ready for my polls.
Went and saw "The Strangers". I liked its intensity and fear-factor, but there were some holes in the plot, you know, the victims making dumb choices. Fun to go see, not too much gore, more "the killer is right behind you creeping around" kind of stuff. There were way too many teenagers in the audience, which of course irritates me to no end. They were surprisingly quiet during the movie (for the most part), I think because the movie has a lot of "intense silence".
Since it was based on true events, that made it more disturbing, otherwise it would have been so-so. None of you care, huh?
NOTE: During the previews, a teenager behind us was confused on why Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City is so popular, because she has a "horse face". HAHA! Sorry girls, I couldn't even sit through one episode of that garbage, to me it should be called "Whores in the City".
Since it was based on true events, that made it more disturbing, otherwise it would have been so-so. None of you care, huh?
NOTE: During the previews, a teenager behind us was confused on why Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City is so popular, because she has a "horse face". HAHA! Sorry girls, I couldn't even sit through one episode of that garbage, to me it should be called "Whores in the City".
The Death Shirt
Would anyone care if I stopped posting? I need a hug. Maybe I can get BOA and Big Pissy to come on over and discuss the LOST finale with me, and anyone else that watches it. (I know you are out there! All of you lurkers need to speak up!) They FINALLY answered some questions, I was thrilled. There are 200 unanswered ones, but still. The space-time continuum thing is still a little confusing, but we know who is in the coffin now. And what about Jin? We saw that flash-forward that didn't make any sense. Well, now we wait until January. ARG.I also miss Jack Bauer. I'm so not happy that "24" is not on this year because of the stupid strike. Don't you all think we need a "David Palmer" for president? Egads, is it just me that fears for this country right now? I HATE talking politics on my blog because it just invites heated arguments and hate mail and all the things that make we want to hide, but I just can't stand ANY of the candidates. I'm sorry if you love one of them, but I just don't see good things. I guess I don't see good things in any politician these days. I did like Reagan. OK, enough of that.
I'm going to go see "The Strangers" tonight come hell or high water. I've been seeing so many movies lately. Before the last few weeks, it had been like a year since I went to the movies. Do any of you know anything about "Poultrygeist"? Yes, that's POULTY, not POLTER. OMG, Google it. You will die.
I am also wearing the "death shirt" today. I am not a superstitious person, but this is ridiculous. The last 3 times I wore this shirt, someone died. Including my dad and father inlaw. I was never going to wear it again, but it was the only thing clean. PLEASE DON'T DIE TODAY, OK?
I'm all over the place on this blog entry today, sorry. Too much coffee, I guess.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Iron Man
My company surprised us with "Iron Man" tickets today (the movie). Just got back. Not usually my type of thing, but I was impressed! It was pretty good. It was most definitely better than working. What did you all do today?
Life is too short.
I had a really good time last night with my friends. When I got home it was a little weird, but I'll save that for later.
You wouldn't think that coming to realizations that "life is too short" would be difficult, but some of us struggle with that. I have lots of life to live, and I intend on getting right on that! I must stop being so bunged up about things. No, Cheryl was not abducted by aliens, it's really me, hi!
I'm not sure yet, but I just got wind that my company may be doing something fun this afternoon. I'm liking the sound of that.
You wouldn't think that coming to realizations that "life is too short" would be difficult, but some of us struggle with that. I have lots of life to live, and I intend on getting right on that! I must stop being so bunged up about things. No, Cheryl was not abducted by aliens, it's really me, hi!
I'm not sure yet, but I just got wind that my company may be doing something fun this afternoon. I'm liking the sound of that.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
More fun nights out, please!
Better Late than Never!
OK, so it's been a little more than an hour, I got busy at work. Now I'm trying to scarf down lunch of curry chicken soup and popcorn. Is that weird? Don't answer that.
The positive part of the post is this: I get to have drinks/apps with some girly friends tonight, and just got word that we can go a little earlier and make happy hour! I don't get out often, so I get excited about the little things. I hear wine and antipasto calling my name.
Last night, I got to spend the evening by myself, picked myself up a personal pizza and curled up with my buddy the internet and watched a little TV. I think there was something wrong with the pizza, though, because it came back up. I won't be eating pizza for a while. TMI? Sorry. You're the dummy that reads this blog. That's all I've got. For now.
The positive part of the post is this: I get to have drinks/apps with some girly friends tonight, and just got word that we can go a little earlier and make happy hour! I don't get out often, so I get excited about the little things. I hear wine and antipasto calling my name.
Last night, I got to spend the evening by myself, picked myself up a personal pizza and curled up with my buddy the internet and watched a little TV. I think there was something wrong with the pizza, though, because it came back up. I won't be eating pizza for a while. TMI? Sorry. You're the dummy that reads this blog. That's all I've got. For now.
A Little Melancholy
You should be used to this by now. I'm feeling like my life is in "limbo". Have you ever felt that way? Waiting, like a spring ready to be sprung. Not going backward, but not going forward either. Fear of the unknown? Waiting for the planets to be aligned correctly? I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing, or what to do next sometimes. It's like nothing is changing on the outside, but there are big ones happening on the inside. I'm missing my dad today, too. I wish I could talk to him, get his advice on some things. Go out to our favorite Thai food joint that my mom refused to go to, and just talk about everything. He was always so worried about me, yet proud of me at the same time. He would tell me to pull my head out of my ass. (LOL!), but in a loving way, though. This time last year we were fishing, and it was so sweet. He had shown me over a million times how to put my fishing pole together (rigging) based on the terrain of the water, but I just could never get it right. So, he would do it for me. Then I would catch all the fish and he would spend the day getting them off the hook for me instead of watching his own pole. I miss him so much.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
This is how my day is going.
I can't help but laugh at these things. First, one of my co-workers is REALLY mad at me. I just gave him back a gigantic package of complicated engineering drawings because I found errors. He asked me if we could "let it slide this once?". I said no. (Hey! It's my job!) I didn't get promoted because I "let things slide". Several engineers around his cubical were rolling in laughter because they know it will take him forever to fix it.
Second, my skirt is really long, and when I roll around in my chair from one side of my cubical to the next, the skirt gets caught in the wheels and yanks it off my hips. OOPS. I'm paranoid it's going to rip and then what will I do? I have it hiked up around my thighs right now and I'm hoping to God no one comes up behind me without my knowledge. I'm just a complete mess, aren't I?
It's a blog-a-thon today. I'm feeling chatty.
Second, my skirt is really long, and when I roll around in my chair from one side of my cubical to the next, the skirt gets caught in the wheels and yanks it off my hips. OOPS. I'm paranoid it's going to rip and then what will I do? I have it hiked up around my thighs right now and I'm hoping to God no one comes up behind me without my knowledge. I'm just a complete mess, aren't I?
It's a blog-a-thon today. I'm feeling chatty.
This brings me back.
Our company gave out iPods a few years ago to all the employees, so everyone has iTunes on their computer and we "share" our music. I was looking through someone's selection and found "Angel" by Aerosmith. LOL! I remember being a teenager wanting a guy to feel that way about me so bad. Isn't that funny? Rockers trying to do love songs cracks me up, but still. Silly, huh? Ah, youth.
Mysterious Peasant Girl
Monday, May 26, 2008
Scary after 9 pm.
At least it will be a short week having Monday off. Other than doing some stretching this morning, I have been a complete sloth today. I'm hungry, but everything that sounds good, we don't have. I don't want to go out because it is scary in this town after 9 at night, especially if you bathe and have all of your teeth. (I live in a very small mountain town and there are some scary locals.) I watched "Black Snake Moan" again (I like that movie) and spent a good chunk of the afternoon trying to fix my computer. OMG how frustrating that can be! But what do you know? I ACTUALLY fixed it! I am in utter shock. I actually figured it out! I was panicking because my computer is my life blood. If I can't check my email, blog, surf the internet and fiddle with my photos, I will lose my mind. I am so proud of myself.
I'm not feeling tired at all. I feel a "Sleepless in Seattle" night coming on.
I'm not feeling tired at all. I feel a "Sleepless in Seattle" night coming on.
Fakin' the Funk to Facilitate the Fraud
Caveman wants to know what this means, and he is the ONLY one who gave me a suggestion on what to write, so kudos to you KS! The rest of you are buttmunches.
I have to warn you, this is really deep. LOL. I didn't come up with it. Jim said it one day and I just looked at him and said, "What?". It sounded funny to me. Stringing all the "F's" together like that. He had a friend in the Army that was African American, and he said, "Fakin' the Funk" all the time as to mean "Trying to be cool while actually being cheesy or dorky." (That fits me, huh?) Jim later added "to Facilitate the Fraud" to mean "to cover up all the bullshit".
I have always thought that in keeping a blog, you could just be anyone you wanted to be and talk about life in exactly what manner you wanted. You know, make yourself sound so great! I thought that it would be the perfect title phrase because most blogs are full of fluff and stupid crap. (It also makes people scrunch up their face and say, "What?", which is funny.) Now, while my blog is definitely full of stupid crap, unfortunately for me, I have been known to spill my guts and am honest like an idiot. No, I don't reveal my entire life, because there are other people's feelings to consider, but I have a hard time being fake or phony. On the internet it is hard to know who a 'real' person is. But from me, what you see (or hear) is pretty much what you get.
So, no, I'm far from a gangster. (LOL, I can't believe you actually said that!) I'm just a dorky white girl who can't even be fake enough to be someone great on a blog.
It's funny to me that you think I'm mysterious. Is that the only mystery for you, or is there something else that puzzles you? I guess I should take it as a compliment, don't girls want to be mysterious? I don't even know. I think YOU are the mysterious one, KS.
I have to warn you, this is really deep. LOL. I didn't come up with it. Jim said it one day and I just looked at him and said, "What?". It sounded funny to me. Stringing all the "F's" together like that. He had a friend in the Army that was African American, and he said, "Fakin' the Funk" all the time as to mean "Trying to be cool while actually being cheesy or dorky." (That fits me, huh?) Jim later added "to Facilitate the Fraud" to mean "to cover up all the bullshit".
I have always thought that in keeping a blog, you could just be anyone you wanted to be and talk about life in exactly what manner you wanted. You know, make yourself sound so great! I thought that it would be the perfect title phrase because most blogs are full of fluff and stupid crap. (It also makes people scrunch up their face and say, "What?", which is funny.) Now, while my blog is definitely full of stupid crap, unfortunately for me, I have been known to spill my guts and am honest like an idiot. No, I don't reveal my entire life, because there are other people's feelings to consider, but I have a hard time being fake or phony. On the internet it is hard to know who a 'real' person is. But from me, what you see (or hear) is pretty much what you get.
So, no, I'm far from a gangster. (LOL, I can't believe you actually said that!) I'm just a dorky white girl who can't even be fake enough to be someone great on a blog.
It's funny to me that you think I'm mysterious. Is that the only mystery for you, or is there something else that puzzles you? I guess I should take it as a compliment, don't girls want to be mysterious? I don't even know. I think YOU are the mysterious one, KS.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Thanks for all the suggestions!
Yes, it's sarcasm.
Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!
(Yes, I am Gomer Pyle.) I actually slept. I don't believe it. I thought for sure I'd be up pacing. More interesting dreams, but I'm sure you are sick of hearing about my dreams. I don't know what to write. I'm going to think about it and come back, OK? Any ideas? Anything you want me to write about? Let me know.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Movies and other stuff.
Went to see Indiana Jones today, it was great fun! None will ever top the first one, but it was fun. They paid homage to the first movie quite a few times, which was awesome, and I love that Marion was in it. Even as old as he is, Harrison still has it. There were some serious over-the-top moments, but all-in-all I liked it. I ate way too much popcorn, though. I didn't used to like popcorn, but since they came out with all of those popcorn seasonings, I'm totally into it. While at the theater, I saw a poster for a new M. Night Shyamalan movie called "The Happening". Looks interesting.
That will probably be all the fun I will have for the rest of the weekend. I'm broke, bloated, bruised and wiped out. Woke up at 6 am this morning. It's SATURDAY. I got up and made eggs benedict because I couldn't get back to sleep. So now its nap time. This means I won't sleep tonight and most likely rant to you about it on the blog here.
That will probably be all the fun I will have for the rest of the weekend. I'm broke, bloated, bruised and wiped out. Woke up at 6 am this morning. It's SATURDAY. I got up and made eggs benedict because I couldn't get back to sleep. So now its nap time. This means I won't sleep tonight and most likely rant to you about it on the blog here.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Really stupid pictures of me.
It's Friday night and this is how lame I am, I am organizing all the pictures I have on my computer. I have pictures everywhere all over the place and it's driving me nuts. I came across some that just made laugh. I thought you all might get a good chuckle, too.
#1 Me getting out of my work uniform in the employee bathroom after waiting tables at Morgan's. My friend Patty thought it would be funny to hang this picture on the bulletin board in the office. It was super. Look at the dorky look on my face! At least I was tan.
#2 I was trying to get a picture of my hair highlights. This is me back in 2004 at my old job. Is it just me, or do I look freaky?
#3 Me trying on hats at a street fair. I thought the purple velvet one with the white flower looked good. Yeah.
#4 OK, first, what the hell was I thinking with the SOCKS? Let's not talk about my ass here. Just leave that alone. I was camping with a bunch of friends and Edwin is the one carrying me. And NO, he was NOT my boyfriend. Never was. Just a friend.
#1 Me getting out of my work uniform in the employee bathroom after waiting tables at Morgan's. My friend Patty thought it would be funny to hang this picture on the bulletin board in the office. It was super. Look at the dorky look on my face! At least I was tan.
#2 I was trying to get a picture of my hair highlights. This is me back in 2004 at my old job. Is it just me, or do I look freaky?
#3 Me trying on hats at a street fair. I thought the purple velvet one with the white flower looked good. Yeah.
#4 OK, first, what the hell was I thinking with the SOCKS? Let's not talk about my ass here. Just leave that alone. I was camping with a bunch of friends and Edwin is the one carrying me. And NO, he was NOT my boyfriend. Never was. Just a friend.
#5 Finally, this is me at the police academy at the shooting range. I got yelled at here for my bad form. I was really determined to be a badass, but I still run from spiders. I also got shot in the leg that day. Well, I caught a ricochet bullet. It was neat. Makes you have great faith in our law enforcement personnel and justice training centers, no? We will not discuss the spandex shorts over black tights. We will NOT.
I have lost my brain, anyone seen it?
Yesterday I suddenly got dumped on at work after a slow start to the week, and of course Thursday and Friday are the busy days this week so I can't take off early for the holiday weekend. Story of my life. I'm running around headless, not only at work, but at lunch. I hate running errands at lunch, but the highway I live off of backs up for 50 miles from people going over the pass for Memorial Day, so I need to jam straight home, or I won't get there until midnight. I don't know when I'm going to get to see Indiana Jones, perhaps a matinee tomorrow? I need to watch Louie right now and don't want to leave him for too long. He is doing better and has his appetite back.
I just finished bashing my ass. I'm serious. I took a corner too quick and clipped a desk with my hip/butt. I'm sure it will be a huge black and purple bruise and don't be surprised if I post a picture of it, because, you know, that's what I do. For your entertainment. You're welcome. Speaking of my butt, it is really getting smaller. I have had to pull my slacks up to my bra today to keep them on. Yes, I know, very sexy. Lean meat, veggies, fruit smoothies with protein powder and tons of water, plus pumping iron and boxing. Can't have loose skin! No way, no how!
I just finished bashing my ass. I'm serious. I took a corner too quick and clipped a desk with my hip/butt. I'm sure it will be a huge black and purple bruise and don't be surprised if I post a picture of it, because, you know, that's what I do. For your entertainment. You're welcome. Speaking of my butt, it is really getting smaller. I have had to pull my slacks up to my bra today to keep them on. Yes, I know, very sexy. Lean meat, veggies, fruit smoothies with protein powder and tons of water, plus pumping iron and boxing. Can't have loose skin! No way, no how!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Update on Louie
The vet called and said Lou-bear was doing better. They hydrated him and he hasn't lost his bloody bowels for a while. His bloodwork and other tests came back negative, so they gave him a shot of penicillin and will be sending him home with some special food and antibiotics. They still don't know exactly what's wrong, but they are hopeful it will pass. I'm breathing again. I still have the rest of my life to sort out, but I'm breathing. No more death and sickness, please. Thank you.
I need to go home and love on the little guy. I am the only one who REALLY loves him. I'm the dogmama. I think anyone else would have taken his ornery ass to the pound by now. But not me. Not me.
I need to go home and love on the little guy. I am the only one who REALLY loves him. I'm the dogmama. I think anyone else would have taken his ornery ass to the pound by now. But not me. Not me.
Not Good.
Lou is really sick. He vomited on the way to the vet and pooped blood all over the vet's floor. They don't know what is wrong and are keeping him for observation. The bill is exponentially climbing, and I don't know what they will do when I tell them I can't pay it all today. I'm fucked. In so many ways. I want to cry, and I can't because I'm at work, and I am insanely busy, of course. Then there is this. The one thing in the world I want (and need) most seems far away and out of my reach. I had therapy today and now that I've been seeing her for a while and she knows me well, she is telling me about some tough choices/actions I have to take in my life if I want to get better, or be happy, that are really hard for me. We seemed to have kicked the "I can't lose weight" problem, so I guess she knows what she is doing. I'm sorry Annie, I can't make nacho night, I'm a mess. Next week? I'm so sorry and thank you for the invite, it means a lot. If Louie dies or stays sick, I'm going to lose it. I'm just not strong anymore. To top everything off I just got into an argument with Jim. Nice. This is all just too fucking much.
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