Important Questions

If you could have a superpower, what would you choose? I narrowed it down to either flying or invisibility. But then my analytical and neurotic brain started overthinking it and I thought, well, invisibility could be tricky unless you could also walk through walls and stuff because just opening doors and whatnot would scare people and they would end up calling an old priest and a young priest, and then I thought do I REALLY want to know what goes on? Probably not. It could be fun for a while, but then I think it would become a big burden. It would also be hard not to do evil things like go to the bank vault and just let people watch floating money go past them. Nope, invisibility is out.

OK, so flying. Cool, right? It would totally save on gas and the adrenaline junkie in me would be all excited. But wait a minute. The military would be trying to shoot me down all the time and people would be asking me to do stuff all the time, and I'd probably get really cold, you know, tights just wouldn't get it done. Also, if no one else could fly, then going to all those fun exotic places would be lonely and depressing. Damn it! Then I thought about the "Greatest American Hero" (remember that retarded show?) That would be me, trying to fly looking like an epileptic and then crash landing all over the place.

Maybe being able to shock stupid people when I feel like it? ZAP! Yeah, that would be a career, forget that.

OK, I'll settle for snapping my fingers for weight loss. Yeah, that works! I'll take that one.