A Tribute to my Daddy

I was blessed with the best Daddy a girl could ever ask for. My Dad always made me feel safe and loved. He was never afraid to say, "I love you", or to cry. Growing up, we fished, we camped, we scrapbooked, we played games, we made cookies, we laughed, and we went to our favorite restaurants all the time, just me and him. He used to wake me up in the middle of the night to see it snowing. He used to carry me on his shoulders to watch the Disneyland parade. He worked hard so that I could have prom dresses and barbie dolls. He walked me down the aisle when I got married. I miss him so much it hurts.

My dad passed away last Tuesday, and I held his hand as he took his last breath. It was both the sweetest and most awful moment of my whole life. A part of me is gone, yet I know he is happy and in Heaven with Jesus, and in no more pain. He was and is a great man who had a great life. I love you Daddy, with all of my heart, Merry Christmas, it will never be the same without you.

I am crying too hard to type much more, so I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures: My dad doing what he loved the most, fishing. Me holding onto my dad in downtown Seattle, I was a daddy's girl bigtime. Christmas dinner in 2005 (Jim looks thrilled, doesn't he? LOL.) My dad with his beloved dog Molly. Thanksgiving dinner in 2006.

Having a hard time.

Yes, I'm still here, but I'm going through a family crisis. Please bear with me and I will post when I can.

Thank you, Cheryl

Fences, Turtles and Vacuuming Louie

Just when I had lost all faith in human compassion, my neighbor takes it upon himself to fix my fence while I'm at work. I know. That was really, REALLY nice. It was funny, Jim came home fully expecting to have an evening of talking to the police and cussing at the mess, and when he rolled up and saw that it was fixed, he was all, "WTF?" Anyway, I'm not feeling the hate quite as much. Don't get me wrong, the teenagers around here need a big kick in the face, but I'm not hating the world and everyone in it anymore. For now.

Now on to my exciting weekend and life. We went to see the kid's Highschool play that he landed the lead role in. It was called "The Odyssey of Jeremy Jack". It was about a turtle wanting to ditch his shell or something. I don't know. Anyway, I thought this picture was cute.

Louie *loves* the vacuum. He considers it the best dog massage ever. Here is a pic of Jim vacuuming him.

Big Pile of Hate

I was too pissy to celebrate Halloween this year. I had no want to feed the local asshole teenagers candy, (who do not even dress up) because all they do is vandalize me. They have ripped my tree-border to shreds and thrown it in the street, broken branches off of my poor little innocent tree and egged my house. I have never done anything to anyone. This is the first year I haven't given out candy, and this morning, I woke up to my entire front fence knocked down and trashed. Nice, eh? I have no money to fix it. I will be filing a police report this afternoon as well as calling the homeowner's association to inform them that they will be notifying everyone that CrazyDogMama has fucking had it. HAD. IT. Keep the little fuckers inside because I'm going on the hunt. You think I'm kidding? Friday night I will be staking out the neighborhood with a camera and a BB gun.

My Favorite Things About Growing Up in the 80's!

#1 The Breakfast Club. Every teenager on the planet can relate to this movie. "So, it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social." - Bender

#2 Feathered hair. I spent HOURS feathering my hair each day like Farrah Fawcett.

#3 Duran Duran. Hungry Like the Wolf! I liked Nick. Who did you like?

#4 Atari "Adventure". This game rocked on so many levels. I hated the fucking bat.

#5 Sixteen Candles "What's happening hot stuff?" - Long Duck Dong

#6 The 1982 Jane Fonda Workout. Feel the burn!

#7 MTV and the "Thriller" video. It still rocks. I wanted to be one of the dancing zombies. BAD.

#8 Rollerskating! Skate King Rules! These are the exact rollerskates I owned.

#9 Ms. Pacman. If only I had all those quarters back.

#10 The Beastmaster. Codo & Podo!

#11 Raiders of the Lost Ark. Best. Movie. Ever.

#12 Poltergeist. I remember going to see the midnight showing of this with my mom.

#13 Levi Button-Fly 501's; ripped with bleach spots. Tapered down the leg for maximum sexiness.

#14 AC/DC. Someday I will be Back in Black.

Sucky Mode

Things have been sucky lately. My boo-boo thumb is blacker than the smoke from the Cali fires (scary stuff), and I have been hacking up my lungs through my nose. Yes, I've been ill, hence the no posting. I have also been, well how do you put it, REALLY GRUMPY. I've been bitchy and snappy and generally a real joy to be around. Money is tight at the moment and work is really busy with an audit coming up. I won't bore you with all the details, I just need some time to get over it. I'm doing better today despite feeling super tired. I have nothing to report that is blog-worthy, but here I am checking in because I know you have all been sitting on pins and needles waiting for my next post. Ha.

What have I been up to?

I've been smashing my fucking thumb, that's what. We have these big, heavy filing cabinets at work that you have to throw your body weight into to close. When I rammed my shoulder into the top drawer like a football player practicing on those big heavy bags, I forgot the tiny detail that was my thumb in the way. OMFG. I must have jumped up and down shaking my hand like a crazy freak for 10 minutes shouting some very colorful sentences. It went something like this:

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!"

Anyway, I almost passed out because the pain was unbelievable. I fractured my wrist once and it didn't hurt this bad. Let me tell you how much you use your right thumb. A LOT. I bump it on something every 4 seconds or so and yelp like a banshee. Oh, by the way, "bump" means lightly brushing up against anything. It is all purple and black, and the picture doesn't even come close to showing the mess that is my cuticle. OUCH, people, OUCH. Do not try this at home.

The Boy's First Homecoming

I can't believe he's only 15. Is he not a total stud? Hope you had a blast Bill & Chloe!

Evil Bert

OK, I'm sorry, but this is AWESOME. "Evil Bert" is the funniest video I've seen in a LONG time.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, when I was checking broken links on my blog, I found this video was no longer available. They scrub everything that is any good. OMG this MEME was so damn funny. At least I salvaged a picture. Try to search for it, maybe you can find it somewhere.

This is why I love my job.

Occasionally my coworkers bring me all the supplies I need for cocktails. Here we see Wild Turkey and Coke in the convenient airplane bottle sizes. They also bought me a VIBRATING chair. Yes, I KNOW. See the cute little controller? It's how they get me to work overtime on salary. OOOH, the vibrating. Aren't you jealous?

What have they done?

There is a petition you can sign to bring back "Planter's Cheez Balls". Please help me. I'm lost without them. Thank you.

It's Fall!

Fall is my favorite season. It has the best weather, the best food, the best colors and two fun holidays, if you consider my birthday a holiday. Which you should.

The Best Weather: Crisp, cool, sunny days (like today), and good storms. I also like DARK. I may be alone on this, but I like the whole daylight-saving thing that makes it dark when I go to work and dark when I come home. Too much light on me is not a good thing, you see. I don't know why I like it; I just do. Its creepy. Sue me.

The Best Food: Pumpkin lattes, Halloween candy, turkey and all the trimmings. Need I say more?

The Best Colors: My entire house is done in Autumn colors, and most of my clothes. Muted greens, oranges, reds, yellows and purples. One of my favorite crayons was burnt sienna, which is a fall color.

Holidays and other fun: Thanksgiving rocks because it is a 'food' holiday. All you do is eat. My kind of day. Halloween is the perfect excuse to be myself, and again, eat. My birthday, self-explanatory. It is going to be good this year because it sucked last year. That is how it works.

You also have the beginning of the Christmas season, and remember Fall doesn't end until late December. You have the stores playing Christmas music and decorations everywhere and possibly a snow event or two. I love snow, I just hate it when I have to go to work in it and deal with idiots in traffic. It's also the beginning of ski season! One of these days I'll get my butt back up there.

So, there you have it, my very positive and upbeat post for today. Don't FALL over, HA!

Things going on with me lately.

1. I totally don't feel like blogging.

2. I've been craving apple juice and grape juice and drinking large quantities of them. These are not usual beverages for me.

3. I wore a sweatshirt-coat today. First time in many months. I'm cold. Highly unusual for a person who has her bedroom air conditioning on 365 days a year. (I'm not sick that I know of and I'm not pregnant.)

4. I'm having trouble sleeping again. Last night I got up at 3 am and started milling about. I accidentally woke up Jim and this was the conversation:

Jim: What the hell are you doing?
Me: Drinking grape juice.
Jim: At 3 am?
Me: Yeah.
Jim: What is wrong with you?
Me: I don't know.
Jim: Are you OK?
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Jim: (continues to look at me strangely for several minutes) Are you SURE? You are acting very strange and sneaky.

5. I am pissed off at a company that illegally billed my debit card for product I did not order. I am filing charges. I am really eloquent like Erin Brockovich when I deal with customer service on the phone, too. Especially when I've been on hold for 20 minutes.

Sexy Peppers

No, I am not dead. Yet. Ha. There has been nothing of note to post lately and I barely have material today. It will be boring, I assure you. This weekend my parents took us out for a belated happy Anniversary dinner to "Mi Tierra Mexican Restaurant", which has the best steak fajitas on the planet. They put an addictive chemical in them, I SWEAR. I'm salivating just thinking about it now. I paired my fajitas nicely with Sangria.

The weather has been beautiful this weekend, and after dinner we stopped by a local vegetable and fruit stand by our house out in the boonies. I grabbed an assload of stuff, I just can't help myself in those places. I was also mesmerized by some pepper plants because they were labeled "Sexy Peppers". Who can resist that kind of marketing? Jim pulled out some cash he had in his pocket to get it for me (what a sweetie!) and the owner lady threw in a jalapeño plant! Score! I took some pics of all the pretty peppers that I now have in back yard and don't know where to put. Thrilling, I know, but it's all I've got.

Sunday has been watch-football-all-day since Jim opted for the "Sunday Ticket" with our switch over to satellite. He is in heaven. I cut up all my fresh veges and fruits and have been snacking on them all day with turkey slices, cheese and crackers. I also took pics of that. That is the weekend wrap-up, folks.

I need your recipes.

OK! I'll write in my blog. But really, what I want, is for YOU guys to help me!

Here is what I'm doing. I want each of my readers (all 3 of you) to post one of your favorite recipes for me. You can do it in the comments section, or on your blog, I don't care, but I'm desperately wanting to cook some stuff and am really sick of my own recipes and recipe books. PLEASE, with sugar on top! I really want to hear from EVERYONE, seriously, don't even attempt to tell me you can't cook, just send me a damn recipe. That means YOU Annie, Broke and Angry, Hole, and especially OTTER who I KNOW has about 6 million recipes I probably want. I'm hungry! Get to it!

BTW, it is my 13-year anniversary today. Happy day to us!

I stole this from Juice.

1. Who is your man? Jim

2. How long have you been together? 14 Years

3. How long dated? 8 Months

4. How old is your man? He’ll be 40 soon.

5. Who eats more? We are both pigs.

6. Who said "I love you" first? Jim. I wouldn’t say it back right away, either. I had saying “I love you” issues.

7. Who is taller? Jim.

8. Who sings better? Jim.

9. Who is smarter? It’s a tie. He knows shit like history and how to work the remote, and I can do long division and algebra.

10. Who's temper is worse? We both have anger issues.

11. Who does the laundry? Both of us, but he says I do it wrong.

12. Who does the dishes? Both of us, but if you were to ask him, HE ALWAYS does them, and I suck.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? I have taken over the entire bed. Jim falls asleep in his recliner a lot.

14. Who pays the bills? Me. Jim cannot be trusted with money.

15. Who has bigger feet? Jim. My feet are freakishly small.

16. Who has longer hair? Me. Jim has no hair.

17. Who is better with the computer? Me.

18. Who mows the lawn? Jim. I do not do yardwork. Period.

19. Who cooks dinner? Me, most of the time.

20. Who drives when you are together? Mostly Jim.

21. Who pays when you go out? We’re married. Who gives a shit.

22. Who is most stubborn? Another tie.

23. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Depends on who is wrong.

24. Whose parents do you see the most? I think we see them equally as little.

25. Who kissed who first? Jim kissed me first in the Denny’s parking lot after class at the Police Academy. Romantic, I know. Actually, he tried to kiss me IN Denny’s, but I was all like “OMG, not in Denny’s.”

26. Who asked who out? Jim wouldn’t shut up until I said yes. I had a boyfriend at the time. I finally gave in. What a slut I am. LOL.

27. Who proposed? He did.

28. Who is more sensitive? Jim.

29. Who has more friends? Neither of us has many friends. Please be my friend.

30. Who has more siblings? We are both only children.

31. Who wears the pants in the family? Jim. I like being naked. I control everything, though.

Up and Running After Hell Week

I am finally starting to settle down. Not only did I not have internet for a week at home, I was without cable AND I worked, like, 65 hours or something crazy like that. My job demanded my soul last week, and apparently, I gave it to them. I think I worked 28 hours in two days. Not having access to the World Wide Web almost killed me, though, and I didn't have time to surf at work either due to the screaming and running around frantic. It is amazing I wasn't rocking back and forth in the corner.

ANYWAY, I have a very pretty new satellite dish and a new faster internet. Comcast can go fuck themselves. We also made our milestone at work and shipped surgical implants to Romania on time. Yippee! Being on salary sucks because I received no overtime last week, but I'm going to make it up by totally slacking off this week and leave early on Monday and Tuesday. All in all, I am a bit weary and have slept most of the weekend away, but all is normal again in CrazyDogMama land. So, forgive me for the lack of updates, K?

Here is a picture of Louie rolling, because he can, and he doesn't have to worry about stuff like wireless modem routers and HD DVR receivers.

I'm being forced to do this MEME.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4 and write what it says. "Initial Implant Design: 16 wks." Exciting, I know.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch? A Kleenex Box. More excitement.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? A rerun of 'Everybody Loves Raymond'.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is. 10:45 am.

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 10:47 am. I know, because I'm hungry.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The voices in my head.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Walking from my truck to the door at work.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Some old photographs I have on my computer.

9. Did you dream last night? Yes.

10. When did you last laugh? Yesterday?

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? My diploma from the UW and a 2007 calendar.

12. Seen anything weird lately? Yes. I saw one of those Jesus Fish emblems that people put on their cars, and inside the fish it said "N' Chips".

13. What do you think of this quiz? Whatever.

14. What is the last film you saw? 'Premonition'. It was very sad.

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? I'd pay off all my bills and go to Disneyland. But that's just the first day.

16. Tell me something about you that I don’t know? When I was cooking turkey burgers last night, the paper that separates the patties was still stuck to the bottom of the one I made for Jim. He ate some of it. Oops.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do? I have no idea.

18. Comment to President Bush No comment at this time. Sorry folks, I don't get political on my blog.

19. Would you ever consider living abroad? Depends.

20. What do you want God to say to you when you get to heaven? You made it!

21. Name 4 people who must also do this quiz on their blog. I don't know 4 people who would do it who haven't already done it. If you are reading this and want to do it, do it. and let me know.

8 More Things

You want nice? From ME? Normally I would just tell anyone who says I'm too "negative" to fuck off and die, BUT I just drank an iced mocha so I'm feeling cooperative and, well, maybe a little cheeky. It was requested I re-do my "8 Things" post with "nice" things.

I used to post all of my info on earthquakes and the coming nuclear meltdown we are going to experience, but I stopped doing that because people just want nice. Although I can understand this (sort of), this isn't my personality. If I started talking about the wonderfulness that is my life, those close to me would conduct an intervention to get me off the crack. I'm just not a glass-is-half-full kind of girl. I'm the girl who looks at the glass and says, "hmm, not only is that glass 1/2 gone, but will it be enough to sustain me in a total martial law lockdown?" Yeah. Nice is boring to me. It's not that I don't think I'm blessed. I KNOW I am. I live in the greatest country in the world, I have a nice home, I have a loyal and romantic husband with a great sense of humor, I have 2 cute fuzballs and great job. I thank God every night for what I have. Do I have problems? Well, DUH. of course. Many things in the USA are totally fucked up, you did read about the baby who got punched in the stomach to death by its father the other day, right? You know we are at war, right? I have almost LOST my nice home more times than I care to count, and I'm about the most financially unstable person I know. My husband can be a complete dick from the word 'go' on certain occasions, and don't even get me started on the two little fuzzy fuckers I own and where they pee and poop and who they try to bite. My job? Yeah, it's awesome, but don't think I don't have days where I want to jam a pen into my eye, or my co-worker's eye.

So, what I'm trying to say is that there are good things, and there are bad things. I haven't been sent to the looney bin yet, and I haven't gone postal, so I MUST be somewhat happy. Right? Right. Yes, I am. Just for the sake of argument though, and to satisfy some of my loyal readers, I will post 8 nice things. Just for you. Nobody faint, K?

1. We BBQ'd some exceptionally tasty food last night, and I brought some of the leftovers to work for lunch. It was so good; I'm thinking about eating right now at 9:07 am.

2. The camera we just bought (or should I say went into hock for) was a "surprise" happy Thursday gift from my hubby (who, yes, IS quite handsome) just because he loves me. He knows I'm not a diamond girl, he gets me toys!

3. My boss came to me at noon last Friday and said this, "You have been working so hard, why don't you start your weekend early and go and enjoy the sun the rest of the day!" I wanted to kiss him and hug him.

4. I will be celebrating 13 years of marriage on August 27th.

5. The other day one of my co-workers, who is also my friend, told me that she is so glad we met and really enjoys having someone to "rant" with about life, and to workout with and have lunch with. She is a total sweetheart, and our lives are so similar it is crazy. She doesn't judge me, nor do I her, we just enjoy each other's company and appreciate the complete honesty we feel comfortable sharing. We believe the same things religion-wise, so we are always on the same page about things, and it is so great!

6. Nothing bounced in my bank account today. Hooray!

7. I have NO PLANS for this weekend and I'm so happy about it! I think I will stay in my PJ's and veg-out in front of the TV, and sleep, and eat and generally slack off. Life is good!

8. I have a mini vacation coming up at the end of August. Just a week off, but I love time off to do nothing or whatever I want.

There! Happy?

8 Things

Colleen tagged me and I don't even really get what the tag is except that I have to write about 8 things. So, whatever, here goes.

1. I went on a grandma hike on Saturday and the grandmas were passing my out-of-shape ass. Sad. I did take some pics, though, that I will bestow on you after my 8 things.

2. I cleaned my stove today. I'm way too fucking exciting, I know.

3. My phone battery only lasts for a day before I have to recharge it again. This pisses me off because it is ALWAYS beeping at me for low batteries. Is it just me?

4. I haven't wanted to blog lately, been in a mega-funk. I need some motivation, people. Help me now.

5. Jim's truck died. I don't mean it broke down, I mean it DIED. DEAD. KAPUT. The diagnostic said this: Transmission gone. Clutch gone. Brakes gone. Fuel pump gone. Tires bald. Electrical system gone. So, we have a new truck. Well, not a new truck, but you know, we couldn't afford to pay for repairs to the old one, so we just bought one that worked. Its a 2004 F150. Its pretty (I'm sorry Jim, I mean it's bad ass) but I'm freaked because we are poor and vehicle payments scare me. Again, help me now. Oh, and Jim actually put a stepping stool in the truck so I can get into it. Seriously, I jumped to get in it and fell back out.

6. I have a headache in my eye.

7. It's midnight on Sunday and I'm not tired. Damn it!

8. Lou-dog is snoring and farting at the same time right now. Much like Jim. I'm a lucky girl.

How is that for 8 things? We went day-tripping at Deception Falls and here is what we saw:

Backyard BBQ

It's get-even time with the pictures ANNIE.

Um, well, we had a BBQ yesterday at our abode with our good friends Matt n' Annie (Juice) and Amy. I am hung over as I type, so don't expect some intellectual shit, ok? Annie posted some, um, interesting pics of the evening, so I thought I would share as well.

#1 The gang all normal at around 6 pm enjoying some wine and appetizers. Matt was tending to little baby Ben, who is UBER cute and such a good baby! We were the loud obnoxious ones; the kid was quiet and happy.

#2 The girls with just a little bit more wine.

#3 A lot more wine. Amy and Annie singing along to the 'Grease' soundtrack.

#4 Matt and Juice at the end of the evening.

110 frigging degrees.

That's how hot it is supposed to be tomorrow at my house. They say Seattle will be around 100, and we're always about 10 degrees hotter out where we are. Today is 90-something and I want to die. At least I get to work in an air-conditioned office, poor Jim is in a non-air-conditioned shop with a metal roof. Sunny side-up Jim.

Tonight, I will be sitting outside in the shade dousing myself with the hose while drinking a beer. Maybe I'll take a pic with my NEW camera! I got a Canon professional DSLR! Oh, I had 5 days off for the 4th of July. I will post about that soon, k?

More backyard pictures!

Jim has done the awesomest job ever on our backyard. It only took us 8 years to plant anything in our backyard, but HEY, it's hard.

#1 My pretty rose garden. Just pray that I don't kill them, mmmkay?

#2 Gardener Jim, A.K.A. my lawn boy.

#3 My most excellent Japanese Red Maple! Her name is Hilda.

#4 Pearl, the other Maple.

#5 My bush corner.

#6 More herbs! I made linguini tonight with basil, tomatoes, white wine, olive oil, lemon thyme and garlic. It was quite good.

#7 My new dining room table. I have a big girl table now!

#8 It's Hella Good! The label says so!

#9 I had to include a picture of Lou, well, just because.

Pablo and the Holy Water

First of all, this has GOT to be the BEST title for a movie EVER, "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death". It wins, and YES, I rented it. Haven't watched it yet, though.

Second, I did watch "Black Snake Moan", which was a really good flick. Both Christina Ricci and Samuel Jackson did a great job, and (hold onto yourselves) Justin Timberlake can actually act. Who knew? Anyway, I recommend it.

Third, we now call Louie "Pablo" and here's why:

Background: Louie is our fuzzy little Cairn Terrier with an attitude the size of Asia. Most of the time he is a cuddle-bug who makes me laugh. In the morning when I'm getting ready for work, he goes and lays in his crate because he knows I'll be leaving soon. This has been our routine for 8 years. When I actually go to leave, I shut the door to his crate so that he doesn't destroy my house while I'm gone. This has never been a problem in the past, he just sleeps until I get home. HOWEVER, in the last 6 months, he has decided that the shutting of his crate door sucks big donkey dick, and he starts barking and snap-growling when I start to shut it. This is NOT acceptable behavior, and I won't have it, but I had no idea how to stop him from doing it. Jim finally decided to try spritzing him with "Bitter Apple" when he starts the snap-growling, and it worked! The damn dog shut right up, then proceeded to smack his lips and dramatically hack. (It doesn't hurt the dog, it is made for dogs, they just don't like it.) We now call it "Holy Water" for our possessed dog. As Jim described this process to me on the phone, this was how the conversation went:

Jim: It works great! In fact, it was kind of funny.

Me: Cool! We should associate the act of spraying him with a command of some sort so that he will stop doing it when we just say the word. You know, use the "Pablo's Dogs" theory.

Jim: Pablo's Dogs?

Me: Yeah, you know, the theory everyone learned in Psychology class with the salivating dogs?

Jim: That's "Pavlov's Dogs", dear heart.

Me: *Started laughing so hard that I almost had to pull the car over*

Me, the next morning: "Come on Pablo, it's time for your holy water."

This is what happens when I tell them I want to take nice pictures.

Yes, another BBQ in my back yard. You would think we lived out there. Well, we do. We are not exciting people, you see. Jim got a new BBQ for Father's Day. A big boy BBQ! He wanted steak. I got a little planter pot for my herbs (not for Father's Day, just because I'm so cool), which currently consists of only chives because I killed the basil, cilantro and dill. Oops. So, here is a little photo entourage of the silly and somewhat psychotic little life that I live:

#1 Jim and Bill presenting "Esther". I name everything, even the BBQ.

#2 My lovely chives.

#3 Did I mention my stepson was in drama?

#4 Checking to make sure it's still there, I guess.

#5 Can you taste it?

#6 Trying to explain these two? Forget it.

#7 It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time, apparently.

#8 Peanut Butter Jelly Time is getting out of hand.

#9 Photoshoots wear them out.

Fat Mama's Knock You Naked Margarita Mix

I know I've talked about this before, but it deserves a second post. I just wanted to let you all know that I will be stocking up on it for the summer.

Best shizzle EVER.

Get it here. If the link is broken just go to Amazon.

Held at Gunpoint

My husband held me at gunpoint and made me eat Ding Dongs.

I found a very interesting article. Although I attribute my weight more to my Hostess habit, I think this author has some valid points. Give it a read, and don't judge until you are all the way through it.

"The Biggest Threat to Amercia" by Chuck Norris

South Park

Funniest South Park episode EVER: Evolution explained: Monkeys having butt sex with retarded fish frogs.

So how was my weekend you ask? I had a garage sale. I did make over $200 though, so there was that. We pretty much did nothing else and I'm tired as hell today.

It's not a ho down, it's a hose down!

It was hella hot this weekend, and especially humid yesterday. Hubby and I got out the hose and tortured the dogs.

#1 Louie giving me the stink-eye as he gets sprayed.

#2 Louie appreciating the cool down and rolling in the grass for maximum smelliness.

#3 Wet Maggie who closely resembles a fruit bat.

#4 Nothing like an ice-cold beer in the sweltering heat.

#5 Our BBQ'd ribs, mmm, meat.

#6 My weekend project was painting and organizing my pantry. It was so not fun, but I did an awesome job, no? Don't judge me for the stupid products I have in there.

Here fishy, fishy fishy.

Finally, the long Memorial Day weekend! I took Friday off to make it 4 days off and went fishing with my parents. Here is what happened.

My mom caught 2 trout, my dad caught 2 trout and everyone on the fricking dock caught fish EXCEPT ME. I got lots of bites, but none on the hook. DAMN IT.

I got stung on the NECK by a humming-bird-sized Bumble fucking Bee. I'm allergic to wasps, so thank God it wasn't a wasp, but STILL. Now you all know I am a complete spaz, so you can just imagine the dance I did when this monster kept dive-bombing me and landed on my neck. I broke my chair. At that point of no fish, a stung neck and a broken chair it was time to go home and regroup. Seriously. WTF?

This is the tacklebox I got when I was like 10 or something. I do know how to catch fish for anyone who might want to be a smartass commentor.

I put pictures of my mom & dad fishing on my flickr account, but I doubt I will be able to keep them there because I will be threatened with bodily harm. So, go look quick before I get beat up.

As for the rest of my weekend, we did nothing on Saturday, went to my parent's house for barbecued teriyaki chicken on Sunday (Yum!) and basked in the sun on the back porch on Monday. Not real exciting, but better than working. I'll be looking forward to reading all your guys' blogs, for I am sure you can top this.