My God.

This is terrible.

Greensburg, Kansas - F5 Tornado damage, aerial view.

Microwave Massacre

Yes, I actually rented this movie. I haven't watched it yet, but I'm betting that I will like it based on this blurb I found on badmovies.org:

Things I Learned From "Microwave Massacre":

1. Every movie should begin with drum music and a girl's breasts flopping around.
2. A three pound crab is pretty frightening.
3. Food shouldn't match your furniture.
4. Guys like girls with large breasts for their personality.
5. If you don't like what's for dinner, get a mouthful of water and spit it into the food.
6. Girls: Your marriage is in trouble if the hubby throws a fit then urinates in the living room.
7. People stay fresh longer in aluminum foil.
8. Two things not to say when picking up a girl: "You're not used to being on your feet." and "You look a lot better in the dark."
9. Everyone keeps a hatchet in the kitchen.
10. Never dress like a chicken around cannibals.
11. Doctors use syringes as darts.
12. Vibrators make good gardening tools. (You heard me right, and there is no way in Hell I'm explaining.)

ROFLMAO!

Hangin' with my Peeps.

I crack myself up.

Irritated

For the horrific price of $100, we can both get our gas tanks filled! OMG. Gas prices SUCK. How in the hell are we supposed to pay this? It keeps going up! I used to be able to fill my tank for $13. The world is coming to an end.

Oh, and its National "Take your damn kids to work" day, and my work HONORS this. I get to work with a bunch of screaming brats today. Can you say MONGOLIAN CLUSTER FUCK? I knew you could.

Thinking Blogger Award

I was awarded a Thinking Blogger Award by Annie, can you believe it? THINKING? ME? BA-HA!! Wasn't aware I did that. Especially here at the CDM bloggery. Nevertheless, she said some incredibly wonderful things about me, and I am eternally grateful. She is the sweetest and funniest girl I've ever met, and I'm honored to be her friend. We were inseparable at one time and have some seriously great memories. We don't see each other much now because we live a bit far and she has a new baby who is SO CUTE YOU WANT TO CHEW ON HIS LITTLE TOES that keeps her busy, but when we do have a chance to get together, it is like no time has passed at all.

How this works:

1. If (and only if) you are tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote.

I would put Annie's blog as my first Thinking Blogger Award, but I probably can't do that since she's already gotten one and that would be breaking the rules, but just so she knows I would pick her, and OMG this is a major run-on sentence so whatever.

OK, here goes:

1. BOA (Broke and Angry) - Always a treat to read. He is very passionate about illegal aliens and Wells Fargo. All around a nice whiner that will make you laugh. Also, newly married, which makes him a prime target for us old married folks to tease and give stupid advice to!

2. Yogagirl - She is great! She is a yoga instructor and knows everything about yoga. She is inspiring and funny and also a sweetheart, one of the very first blogs I read, and we bonded nicely because she has a really cute fuzzy doggie! She is also quite possibly the best decorator EVER.

3. Otter - This Southern belle is HYSTERICAL. Not only does she write well, she, like, KNOWS PHYSICS and shit! She was my very first commentor. She also has a cute little baby boy and is a jewelry maker, knitter and cook extraordinaire!

4. Skwigg - Skwigg is AWESOME. If you want to lose weight or become a ninja fighter, she's your girl! Seriously! I would not want to piss Skwigg off. She is also funny and real and a super interesting person. Even if you aren't into fitness, she will keep you entertained with her 3 crazy dogs. She is definitely an honorary CrazyDogMama!

5. Spank Your Inner Moppet - Colleen! Not only a great writer, but witty and sweet! She cracks me up too, and you guessed it! A cute doggie! She will also kick your ass ninja-style.

Well, I have to say, it was very difficult to pick only 5. There are so many of you that I would put up there! Basically, if you are on my links list, I wanted to nominate you. I love you all! You all keep me continually inspired to blog!

HERE IS SOME MORE CONTENT FOR THIS POST, AS IF IT WASN'T LONG ENOUGH ALREADY:

I was also tagged to do an "interview", and Annie over at "yerdoingitwrong" asked me these questions, so now I'm going to answer them. If someone wants me to interview them, let me know! Don't expect me to do it quickly, though, because I'm a lazy ass.

1.) You've been married a long damn time. What three pieces of advice would you give to someone just starting their journey?

Wow. I have been married a long time. Almost 13 years. Crap. I guess my first piece of advice would be to let the little things go. Don't get all amped up over dumb shit. Two, um, when you fight (and you know you will) don't bring up crap from the past, stick to topic. If you don't, every little thing you have ever done will bite you in the ass. Three, enjoy each other. Make sure you take advantage of all the things you like about your spouse. If you like movies, watch a lot of movies together, if you like to talk, chat it up, if you like theme parks, go! Be best friends.

2.) If you could spend a month anywhere and money was not an issue, where would you go and why?

Hmm. I guess I would travel Europe with my hubby. Germany, Italy, France, those places. He has been there and has always wanted to take me. I have been NO WHERE. Seriously. I've been to like, 3 fucking states. That are close by. I need some culture. Although, laying on the beach drinking margaritas in Bora Bora for a month doesn't sound bad either.

3.) If your life were going to be made into a movie what actors/actresses would play the following roles and why?

You: Some batshit crazy blonde. Maybe the role Kelly Lynch played in "Warm Summer Rain". No explanation needs to be given, right? (Great flick, by the way. A CrazyDogMama favorite.)
Jim: Kevin Costner. Jim's sense of humor reminds me of Kevin in the movie Bull Durham. Plus, he's handsome!
Your mom: Sally Fields. She looked like her in her younger days, and she is short and sassy like that.
Your dad: This one is hard. Dan Akroyd? I don't know why. Maybe because he is a big silly guy?
Jim's son: He kind of reminds me of Zach Braff from "Scrubs", but cooler.

4.) Tell us about your best drunk moment.

BEST drunk moment, or STUPIDEST drunk moment? I'll go with stupid. I drank 9 double rum and cokes in a small dive bar when I first met Jim. I then proceeded to tell some guys in the bar that Jim could kick their ass. Collectively. We left running, and I drove down the wrong side of the road. When we got to Jim's place, I fell on my face in the middle of the street. Then, I puked on his carpet, and he had to call my dad (who he had never met) and tell him I was passed out drunk on his couch. Jim's mother managed the apartment complex we were in (Jim's apartment) and before she met me, had to replace the carpet in that apartment because of my really lovely puke. One of my shining moments, don't you think?

5.) Describe your perfect day.

I win, inherit or find millions of dollars. Then, do whatever the hell I want!

FEAST

OK y'all, I just possibly watched the best horror movie on the planet. I have a new favorite, and it may even surpass Texas Chainsaw Massacre, if that is even possible.

Jim and I had "Horror Fest" starting Friday night. (It was Friday the 13th, you know!) We rented 6 horror movies and had popcorn and candy.

"Feast" is FUCKING AWESOME. I mean it. It has everything, a generous amount of gore, appropriate suspense, a good story, and the most hilarious script EVER. Even the monsters are good, even if a little cheesy. I was never bored, and I think in one part I laughed so hard I peed a little. It was obvious that it was the director's intention for you to laugh. The director takes every horror movie cliche and fucks with it. At first, I thought, "OK, this is corny", but as it progresses, the corniness is absolute perfection because you need the comic relief. The rest of the movie is like OMG did that just happen? When's the last time you could say that about a horror movie? I've been so disappointed with horror movies in the last 10 years or so. Every now and then one comes out that I like, but I'm never so "wowed" that I'm clapping at the end. I'm buying this movie. Seriously, if you are a horror fan, you'll love it.

As for the other 5 movies I rented? Meh.

"Unrest" - It was OK. Slow start. Pretty good rental.
"See no Evil" - Lacking. A couple of good kill scenes.
"Hard Candy" - Good acting, decent movie, but I wouldn't buy it.
"Pulse" - Stupid.
"The Pumpkin Karver" - I wanted to rip my own eyeballs out. I was laughing, but it wasn't the director's intention.

Strangers watching me sleep.

I woke up every 2 hours last night. Which is nothing new. I'm not particularly stressed or anything, I just have sleeping issues. I can fall asleep in 8 nanoseconds, but then I keep waking up. I actually went to see a specialist on Tuesday about this and he wants me to go to a sleep clinic so they can figure out what's going on with me. Great. Strangers watching me sleep. That should be neat.

I don't know what else to say. I've really got blogger's block. I could like, take a picture of my hand or something, but I'm not sure that would captivate you.

Oh, just watched the episode of "Everybody Loves Raymond" where Ray's mom creates an abstract sculpture that looks exactly like a vagina. It was pretty freakin' funny. Would you buy it?

Date Night & Freaky Weather

Well, I'm being hounded to post, but I don't know what to say, so here's goes nothing. Hubby and I went to dinner and a movie last night. I unhinged my jaw and ate a Bonzai Burger at the Red Robin, then we went to see "The Reaping". We liked it, although it's getting horrible reviews. It wasn't scary, but it was an interesting story line, and I love Hillary Swank. I am totally dragging ass today now, though. That is all the excitement. Truly. I have no idea what we're doing this weekend, except I know we are going to Jim's parent's house for Easter dinner. Oh, here is something, it supposed to be 80 degrees today. Yeah. 4 days ago, it snowed 4 inches, now its 80. WTF? I need to go do some work, so later dudes.

Um, it's April, right?

We woke up to almost 4 inches of snow this morning. SNOW. It was close to 70 degrees all last week, now its fricking snowing. My town is the only one that seemed to get dumped on because we have our own private convergence zone here, but still. I want to BBQ and shit right now, not snowshoe.

I ended up only having 2 (albeit LARGE) margaritas on Friday, but I woke up at 3 am needing Aleve for my pounding head. I'm getting old, just can't party like I used to. Saturday, we rented "Turistas", which was OK, nothing special. They only had ONE scene where some girl was getting her organs stolen, so I felt jipped. Then, I went and bought a firewire cable so that I could download my camcorder videos to my computer. That pretty much took up the rest of the weekend. Not a whole lot of excitement, but like I said, I'm getting old. It just doesn't take much to entertain me anymore.

Jack-a-Ritas

Instead of champagne, I decided on Friday night margaritas. Yeah, baby! So, I go to the liquor store on the way home to get some tequila. For some reason I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels, then a lime at the register. Don't ask, because I just don't know. I then tell the cashier that I've been promoted and I'm going to have some margarita fun, again, don't ask. He smiles, looks at the Jack Daniels and the lime, then back up at me and says, "Congratulations." I skip out the door, and about 1/2 way home I realize that I am a gigantic retard. Jack-a-ritas? Oops. When I get home and tell Jim what I did, he laughs and offers to go exchange the Jack for Jose. Derr. In a big way. The guy at the liquor store must be thinking, "What the hell did she get promoted to, executive ditch digging?" Anyway, Mr. Cuervo and I are having a nice love affair tonight. I may be puking later.

Good News!

I just got a big promotion at work! It includes many more dollars! Wheee! I am so excited.

Oh, and by the way, I know I haven't been posting regularly, but if I don't start getting more than 2 readers a day, I'm shutting down this show. So, tell your friends and family to read. Now, shoo, because I hear a bottle of champagne calling my name.

The traffic guy is NOT my friend, but Cherry NyQuil IS.

So, not only have I been surviving on Cherry NyQuil for the past 7 days, but the radio traffic guy totally dis'd me. Yes, that's right. Let me share this special story with you.

We had a few days of hard rain, and that always means some sort of flooding in the rural area I live in. The other morning on the way to work, I ran into some crazy dead-stopped traffic. After an hour and a half of wanting to bash my head into my steering wheel, I found out that one of the bridges on my commute was closed due to flooding, and traffic was being re-routed and that was why it was so backed up. I got to work really late and hacking my head off because my NyQuil was wearing off. The next day was the same traffic mess, but I left a little early to try and avoid some of it. I was listening to my favorite talk radio station and the traffic report came on. The traffic guy said that some people had called in and were wondering why traffic was so bad in this area, and he responded that he had no idea and hadn't heard anything but would look into it. I knew! I knew and the traffic guy didn't! I don't know why this excited me, but I decided to be a good citizen and call the radio station so that my co-commuters would understand why they were frustrated and stressed. I'm just that kind of gal. The radio guy answered, and I explained the situation. He was very appreciative for my call and said he would relay the info to the traffic guy. He even asked my name so that I could get full credit. I told him.

All proud of myself, I turned the radio back on and awaited the next traffic update. Sure enough, the first thing he said was "We have received an answer to the traffic problems in blah-blah area from our nice caller Cheryl". He went on telling the whole Seattle area exactly what I told him and kept thanking Cheryl for the information. Wow! I felt like a celebrity! But, oh no, no, that 15 minutes of fame would not last. They give the traffic update every 10 minutes, and of course since I wanted to keep hearing my name on the radio, I kept listening. In the very next update, the dude says this, "Well, we took the chopper over blah-blah bridge, and it appears to be open, and traffic is flowing nicely, so I'm not sure what was going on there, but there really is no problem so never mind that last report." WHAT THE FUCK?

I had JUST passed two big orange signs that said the bridge was closed, and I was still stuck in traffic! Oh, wait a minute.

There goes a D.O.T. worker and he is TAKING THE SIGN DOWN. It was a total conspiracy against me. They opened the bridge not 5 minutes after I called. NO! I look like a fool! An idiot! A prank caller! But I was just trying to help!

I wanted to call back and tell them I wasn't crazy, but then I started thinking that they probably have caller ID and would yell at me or not let me call anymore, or report me as a stalker or something, so I didn't. I just sat there. I cussed out my radio and turned it off. That'll show 'em! I won't listen to them for the whole rest of the day! Screw the radio! Screw the commuters! Screw everybody! I told Jim about my public embarrassment, but he just laughed at me. A lot. Then it hit me. I need to get a life.

My throat is KILLING ME.

I can barely swallow. I've been super sick since Thursday night. My throat hurts so bad right now that I can't sleep, and now it's 2:30 in the morning. Everybody is snoring and I'm walking around whining and bitching and no one can hear me! Bah! I just ate some ice cream, and although it tasted great, it didn't help my throat much. I'm going to go try and find something to watch on T., but my hopes are not high. This blows.

Who are you?

OMG, I'm sick of these, but I was tagged, so whatever. I erased the repeats and stuff I've answered before.

Who are you? CrazyDogMama!

1) First of all, how old are you? 35.
2) Do you believe in reincarnation? Nope.
3) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do? Nothing.
4) Do you consider yourself a good listener? Sure.
5) Would you rather be short or tall? Short
6) Would you consider your relationship with your parents bad, okay, good? Good, but could be better.
7) Do you like to dance? Only when I am by myself.
8) Are you shy to ask someone out? I have never asked anyone out, the guy had to ask. It's old fashioned, not shyness.
9) Do you like to talk on the phone? Not really. I like to talk to my husband on my way home from work, though.
10) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv? TV
11) Do you think boys or girls have it easier? Guys.
12) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you go? To my early 20's.
13) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Spy on people.
14) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]? I guess I like Nike.
15) If you could change your name, what would it be? My name is fine.
16) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh? No, that's mean.
17) What's the hardest thing about growing up? Marriage
18) What little unknown talents do you possess? I'm not telling.
19) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? No.
20) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do? Go to Disneyland.
21) What's the worst word(s) you know? I don't know, but I'm sure I use them every day.
22) Have you ever wanted to run away? Daily.
23) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, unless my dogs count. They are stuffed full of food, poo, pee and mischief.
24) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be? Superman.
25) What is your favorite gum? Cinnamon.
26) How do you eat an Oreo? Dip in milk, shove in mouth.
27) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork? I do not eat chicken fingers.
28) Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes.
29) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it be? I don't hate anyone.

DOB: 11-12-71
Sex: Female
Height : 5'4"
Hair Color: Blonde-brown
Eye Color: blue
Location: Sultan, WA
School: Bachelor of Arts UW
Pets: 2 dogs and a husband
Dream Job: Photographer
Fav Subject: Art
Fav Sport: Gymnastics
Least Fav: Basketball
Fave Month: November
Fav Toothpaste: Mentadent

All is well in the dog food department.

I have received mail from concerned folks about the pet food recall going on, and if Lou and Mags were OK. They are great, I buy "Natural Balance" dog food. I tried to switch them to cheaper food awhile back, but they wouldn't have it. I'm so glad! If I had been feeding them the recall food, I would be in full-on panic mode right now.

I know I suck, you don't have to tell me.

I have no excuse for not blogging, I just haven't wanted to lately. BUT, because I love you all so much, I'll blog just for you today. Last Friday my company left early at 1pm to go bowling for a little corporate competition. It was a hoot, especially the open bar part. Double rum and coke and double margarita on the rocks if you must know. I got high girl's score at 151! I didn't know I had it in me. After that (with the alcohol in me), Jim and I went to dinner at his ex-wife's house. I KNOW. We were there to discuss how to discipline the kid who has been getting in trouble lately. It went fine, nothing really juicy to report.

Then, all day Saturday and Sunday, we cleaned. We dusted, vacuumed, did laundry & dishes and generally were a very boring married couple. And you wonder why I haven't been blogging? Blah. Nothing exciting happening. That is all. That is all I can think of to write. I'm eating a banana right now, I'm tired, and really nothing to say.

These are the lies.

#2 - I never had to draw my gun as a cop.
#6 - I started smoking when I was 19, not 17.
#8 - I've only driven up to 90 mph.
#10 - I've only been in one fight. It was with a girl named Shara in Jr. High. I kicked her ass.

I guess the skydiving thing is kind of iffy. My knees are shot and I'm too fat, but I guess if I were totally fit and trim and someone else paid for it, I MIGHT, and I say MIGHT do it again. Probably not, though, I'm getting old. My hay-day is over, I'm afraid. It was great fun, though, when I did it, and I have some amazing pics. I jumped 7 times.

Slacker

I know I've been a total slacker, I just haven't been in the blogging mood. You know what I mean? I've been in the "don't-get-up-from-the-couch-unless-you-have-to" kind of mood.

It snowed again last week, and we got 9 inches. It melted the next day, but still. It is supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. The wackiness continues. Everyone has been sick at work, one by one, so the work has been piling up, and lo and behold I'm actually trying to change my eating habits AGAIN. I'm trying to do BFL-style eating, but really small portions every two hours or so. For me, this means being constantly hungry for about two weeks (until I get used to it) even though I'm constantly eating. Having a half of a sandwich just makes my stomach angry. It's all like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Anyway, I got tagged to do this stupid lie detector thingy. I am supposed to list off a bunch of things about myself and you are supposed to determine whether or not each item is true or false. So here goes, I guess.

1. I once vomited creamed corn all over the dinner table because my mom forced me to eat it.

2. I drew my gun only once when I was a cop.

3. My hair turned naturally curly overnight when I was 24.

4. I won't eat meatloaf.

5. I have had premonition dreams.

6. I started smoking when I was 17.

7. I threw a paper airplane at a corvette when I was young, and the guy slammed on his brakes and ran after me screaming obscenities.

8. I have driven a car at over 100mph.

9. I will never jump out of an airplane again, voluntarily.

10. I've been in many fights.

Let me hear those guesses people, which ones are false?

Shows

First, I woke up this morning thinking it was Thursday. After wanting to cry NOOO when I found out it's not, instead I accidentally ripped the drawstring out of my pants, never to return. EVER. Have you ever re-threaded a drawstring? Yeah, I didn't think so. There will be no comments about me wearing pants to work that have a drawstring. NONE.

Second, I never write about the shows I watch and I'm going to do that today. One of my favorite new shows is "The Class". I wasn't sure I was going to like it, but it's really growing on me. Richie Velch (the nerdy character who is dating Lina) absolutely slays me. I'm also sort of liking "Rules of Engagement", but mainly because "Putty" from Seinfeld is in it and he makes me giggle just looking at his squinty little eyes. "Medium" entertains me, and I still love "Jericho", even though I think people would be running around pulling their hair out and feeding on the dead by now in real life. "Heroes" is cool, but I'm getting impatient with it, and of course "Two and a Half Men" is still good. I hate to admit that I'm getting a little bored with "Earl" and "How I Met Your Mother". Oh, and how could I forget, I love "Men in Trees". I know it's a chick-y soap opera, but I don't care. At least I don't watch reality shows. Ha! That's it, that is all I watch.

Happy F-ing V-Day

I don't really celebrate Valentines because something bad happened to me a long time ago on this day, but from the sounds of it, there are lots of you out there that think this Hallmark Holiday is a pooper. When working in the restaurant business for such a long time, it never failed to amaze me how much people will spend on an overrated dinner and flowers. It is wall to wall people and noise, and it's funny how no one ever really looks that happy. Occasionally you'll see two newlyweds or new lovers or something holding hands over the table and gazing into each other's eyes, but rarely, and they are truly annoying anyway.

My hubby bought me Captain Crunch WITH crunch berries. Now THAT'S romantic. I had a gigantic bowl of it this morning.

I was blind, now I see.

I have new glasses. I am a total and complete nerd now. They are RED. Like Blood. As you can see. Also, they have bling! I didn't see the bling when I picked them out, but here I am.

NEVER ask, "What are those MEME thingees?"

I was suckered. There are SO MANY QUESTIONS, it's like an interrogation! Kill me now.

1. Height? 5'4" Does anyone really care?
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No. You can smoke heroin?
3. Do you own a gun? Yes
4. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No
5. What do you think of hot dogs? Yum
6. What's your favorite Christmas song? Carol of the Bells
7. Can you do pushups? Yes
8. Is your bathroom clean? Not at the moment.
9. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Anniversary ring.
10. Do you like painkillers? Love them.
11. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Boobs.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? No
13. Middle Name? Lyn
14. Name 3 thoughts at this moment? I'm hungry, I want to go home, Mongolian Grill sounds good.
15. Name the last 3 things you have bought? Mocha, cigarettes, gas.
16. Current worry? Bills.
17. Current hate? My stomach.
18. Favorite place to be? In water.
19. How did you bring in the New Year? Taking pictures at home.
20. Where would you like to go? Bora Bora.
21. Do you own slippers? Yes.
22. What shirt are you wearing? Maroon shirt.
23. Do you burn or tan? Tan.
24. Favorite color(s)? Red & purple.
25. Would you be a pirate? Are you asking? OK.
26. What songs do you sing in the shower? Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns and Roses.
27. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Monsters, specifically mutated bears.
28. Best bed sheets as a child? Fresh out of the dryer.
29. Worst injury you've ever had? Kidney stones.
30. How many TVs do you have in your house? Four.
31. Who is your loudest friend? Marianne.
32. Who is your most silent friend? Jenny.
33. Does someone have a crush on you? I doubt it.
34. Do u wish on shooting stars? Nope.
35. What is your favorite book? Watchers by Dean Koontz.
36. What is your favorite candy? Reses Peanut Butter Cups.
37. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? I don't think there was music.
38. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? Trying to sleep.
39. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Fuck, I have to get up.
40. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? Can’t say that I have.
41. What's the largest age difference between yourself and someone you've dated? 7 years
42. Ever been in a car wreck? I’ve hit 3 deer and a dog, does that count?
43. Were you popular in high school? I don’t think so, I don't know.
44. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.
45. Are looks important? Yeah, somewhat.
46. Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more? Of course.
47. By what age would you like to be married? Already married.
48. Does the number of people a person's slept with affect your view of them? Sometimes.
49. Have you ever made a mistake? No, I’m perfect. Gimme a break.
50. Are you a good tipper? I’m really good, I was a waitress.
51. What's the most you have spent for a haircut? 60$ for a cut, much, much more for coloring.
52. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Not that I remember.
53. Have you ever peed in public? Yes.
54. What song do you want played at your funeral? No funeral for me, just cremate me and go party.
55. What would your last meal be before getting executed? Pizza, warm chocolate chips cookies.
56. Beatles or Stones? STONES.
57. If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who? Only one?
58. Beer, wine or hard liquor? Liquor.
59. Do you have any phobias? Claustrophobia and Arachnophobia.
60. What are your plans for the future? I don’t know.
61. Do you walk around the house naked? All the time.
62. If you were an animal, what would you be? Wolf.
63. Hair color you like on someone you're dating? Anything but red.
64. Would you rather be blind or deaf? Neither. But if I HAD to choose, I guess deaf.
65. Do you have any special talents? Yeah, baby.
66. What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Release the hounds.
67. Do you like horror or comedy? Both, but horror is my favorite.
68. Are you missing anyone? No, I think everyone is here.
69. If you weren't straight, what person of the same sex would you do? No idea, don't think like that.
70. Where do you want to live when you are old? Somewhere with a pool.
71. Who is the person you can count on the most? God.
72. If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? None.
73. What did you dream last night? That my parachute didn’t open correctly. I have dream issues.
74. Are you named after anyone? Some chick my mom went to school with, she liked her name.
75. Have you ever been arrested? No, but I’ve arrested people.
76. Would you ever get plastic surgery? Depends.
77. Have you ever caught a fish? Lots.
78. Family member you most resemble: My dad.
79. Do you own your own Bible? Several.
80. Do you clean up nice? Yeah, but sometimes I clean up mean.
81. When was the last time you tripped and fell? 30 minutes ago?
82. Where was the last place you slept besides your home? Parent’s house.
83. What are you listening to right now? Coworker chatter.
84. Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire? No, unless in the heart of my men counts, LOL!
85. Ever run out of gas on the road? No. Which is amazing.
86. What would you rather do, rake the leaves, or mow the lawn? I don’t do yard work.
87. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Pictures.
88. How many kids do you want? Zero.
89. Type of music you dislike most? Bubblegum Pop.
90. Are you registered to vote? Yes.
91. Do you have cable? Yes, that’s like asking if I have oxygen.
92. Ever prank call anybody? Sure.
93. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I’ve been skydiving, I won’t be bungee jumping.
94. Do you have a garden? No, unless my little herb garden in my kitchen window counts.
95. What's your favorite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbs.
96. Bath or Shower? Shower with something to sit on.
97. Best pizza toppings? Pepperoni, green pepper, jalapeños and pineapple.
98. Popcorn or Peanuts? Peanuts.
99. Orange Juice or apple juice? Orange Juice.
100. Chocolate Bar? Yes, please.
101. When was the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I don’t know.
102. Ever order anything from an infomercial? No.
103. Sprite or 7-Up? Sprite.
104. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work/school? Yes, work.
105. Ever thrown up in public? Yup.
106. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? When I was 12, true love, now? Money.
107. Believe in love at first sight? Not really.
108. What do you think about most? Damn bills.
109. Favorite form of travel? Private jet.
110. Something purple within 5 feet of you: Writing on my wall calendar.
111. The sexiest item of clothing you own: See-through thong underwear that I never wear.
112. Is your hair long enough to chew on? Yes.
113. Least favorite color? Yellow.
114. Ever have Dippin' Dots? No.
115. Ever play an instrument? Piano.
116. Ever been to a palm reader? No.
117. Last Pez dispenser you purchased? Don’t like Pez.
118. Did you have a good weekend? It was OK.
119. How is today going for you? So-so.

120. Any plans for tonight? TV.
121. Ever given someone a full-body oil massage? I’ve given a partial body oil massage.
122. What shampoo do you use? Aveda Sap Moss.

OMG, I'm finally done.

Body Parts and Recipes

That sounds wrong, doesn't it? HA!

Anyways, I have a tattoo. It is fading, but I have one. I got it right before I got married 13+ years ago, and my mom saw it for the first time while I was trying on wedding dresses. It didn't go well. (Hi, Mom!) She has since gotten over it, but I wanted to show the internet my blasphemy.

It is very difficult to photograph an ankle tattoo with your cell phone, let me just tell you. It is a rose piercing a heart, and "Jim" in cursive. I had it designed, so it is an original. Jim got one for me, too. It is a huge bouquet of roses with a "Cheryl" banner across the stems.

I also took a picture of my tongue. I have no idea why. OK! Now, aren't you hungry? Recipes have been requested from me for the former food pics. I am seriously lazy, so I will only do one right now.

Gorgonzola Pasta (serves 3-4)

1. Boil 1 package of penne pasta until al dente, sprinkling a bit of salt in the water.

2. You can either grill your own chicken breasts (2), or you can be lazy like me and buy the pre-grilled ones, and just warm them up and cut them up into bite sized pieces.

3. In a separate pan, sauté 1 tablespoon of minced garlic with a little bit of olive oil until it browns.

4. Add 1 cup of heavy whipping cream, 1/4 cup of white wine, and 1 Boullion cube (mixed with a little bit of hot water) to the browned garlic and reduce (simmer) for about 10-15 minutes. Once you start to see it boil just a little, reduce heat a tad, and add 1/2 cup of crumbled gorgonzola cheese, and grated parmesan to taste. Add some red pepper flakes and cracked pepper to taste. Simmer for another 6-7 minutes until everything is thoroughly blended and thickened up. Add the grilled chicken and stir.

5. Add a little butter (real butter) to the pasta once it is drained and stir. Dump the pasta in the sauté pan and toss with the sauce for a minute or so. Serve the pasta on a plate (not a bowl) and sprinkle chopped hazelnuts and parsley on top. YUMMY.

NOTE: Buy the best quality you can of the cheeses, it does make a difference.

All of the things I cook are simple stupid to make. I am not a chef by any means. I got most of my ideas from working in upscale restaurants for 17 years. Bon Appetite!

Why I don't lose weight.

I love to cook. I love to eat. End of story. Here are a few of my recent dishes. I've been in a gourmet mood lately and the husband is loving it. He does think I'm certifiable though, for taking pictures of my food. Who needs those stinking expensive restaurants!

#1 This is a CrazyDogMama favorite. Penne pasta with chicken in a gorgonzola cream sauce topped with diced hazelnuts and parsley.

#2 Crab cakes in a vodka tomato cream sauce accompanied by a small tenderloin steak and baked golden potato with chives, bacon and sour cream. Yeah, no calories in this dish.

#3 Stuffed pork tenderloin in a red wine demiglace. Super yummy.

#4 Alcoholic dessert anyone? This is a German spiced wine, pretty cheap, but a 10 on the yum-yum scale. Just heat on the stove and serve with a cinnamon stick. (That's Louie in the background, he motors around the kitchen when I'm cooking.)

#5 The wine in a pretty cup.

OK, enough with the white shit already.

I am looking painfully out of my work window at the big-ass snowflakes falling on the already frozen snow. It is not that bad here (yet), but we still have a good 6 to 8 inches where I live, and I can just imagine how my commute home is going to go. *Sigh* I love the snow when I can romp and play in it, but a 6-hour commute with idiot drivers isn't my idea of a good time.

Only going to get just a few inches MY ASS!

Yeah, we got like a little over a FOOT of snow. It is 11 pm and I just got home from WORK. Bah! The snow is fun now that I can torture the dogs in it, but driving in it, SUCKS ASS.

Cracking Skulls

We had quite the little scare with the teenager a couple of days before Christmas. My stepson decided that jumping onto a moving car would be a hoot. Not so much. His friends and him were goofing around and he jumped onto the trunk of his buddies' car, just as it was about to be gunned forward. My stepson smacked his head on the pavement (literally). He actually cracked his skull and was bleeding out of his eardrum. His friends rushed him to the hospital, and my husband and I were the ones his friends decided to notify first. We flew out of the house and when we got there, they had him in a neck brace. Talk about having a panic attack!

It turned out that the neck brace was just a precaution, but they did do X-rays and later an MRI and a CTI Scan. They said he would be fine, but then the next day he started developing this weird face-thing. His eyes did not blink at the same time, and his smile was crooked. Face paralysis. GREAT. After seeing a specialist, they told us he got really lucky. He will be fine. Thank God. Here is a funny part, he was wearing a T-shirt that said "I do my own stunts" the day of the accident. It was a little comical seeing it all bloodstained in the hospital.

Here is a picture of the delinquents. Bill (my stepson) is the one in the back in white. They are all in drama club together.

First Christmas Present.

The first present I opened, need I say more? Diablo will be proud of me. We chatted a few times on her website before she was a superstar. A real sweetheart.

Happy Mode

I am finally in the Christmas spirit. It took a while with all the stress in my personal life, but today I just realized how very blessed I am. I have some of the best friends a person could ever ask for, and I'm sitting in my little cozy home (that we have come close to losing so many times) having a little spiked eggnog, complete with fuzzy appendages attached to my hip. (Louie and Maggie, the furbutts.) A lot has happened this year, both bad and good, but in reflection I can say that everything has come to such a peaceful end for me in 2006. Sure, there are still the stresses of finances and work and the like, but I know in my heart everything is going to be OK. I give the credit to God for that. For the families out there who are struggling, or for the soldiers who are at war, my thoughts and prayers are with you. 2007 is going to be a year of giving and helping for us, as we have received so much of that ourselves in this past year.

Pictures are a little fuzzy, but I wanted to take them without flash. Our pretty little tree looks great against my red wall! Sparklies!

CrazyDogMama vs. Deer

OK folks, I am going for the all-time record in plowing over deer with my vehicle. Last Friday night made THREE. I have hit THREE deer since 1997, all with different cars. This is a major statistical feat, wouldn't you say? Obviously, I have lived through all of them the deer not so much. Due to the snowstorm last week, I get to drive around a lovely Hyundai for two weeks while my SUV is fixed. I don't have a scratch on me, in fact all I said after I hit it was "goddamnit" very calmly. I have apologized to God for that.

Snow was more fun when I was a kid.

Now it is just a pain in the rectal region. I had a lovely 3-hour commute home last Monday night when another little winter blast started right as I left work. Then, neither Jim nor I could get to work the next day. Driving has been stupid and slow. The only fun thing is watching the dogs try to maneuver in it. We got about 7 inches in our backyard, then we had a deep freeze (17 frigging degrees), then a nice ice storm.

Here are some pics from the drive, and my iced-over windows which take a millennium to unthaw. Good times. Driving home on solid ice, I really should be paying attention to my driving, but I digress.

Turkey, Napping & Snow

All in all, a nice holiday weekend, complete with a winter storm. The news said we are to get 3 to 6 inches of snow tonight!

Crappy photos for your viewing pleasure: Jim working his turkey magic. My kitchen, the disaster area. Jim eating light with one turkey-plate, and one side-dish plate. Dog butts frolicking in the snow, and "Snowback Mountain".

MOM, enough with the flash already!

I know I take too many pics of my puppies, but this one cracked me up. The flash made poor Lou scrunch his eyes closed, LOL!

Thanksgiving Menu!

Well, I'm taking tomorrow off to start cooking for turkey day. I love holidays that revolve around FOOD. Here is my plan, please tell me what your plan is! I love new ideas!

Appetizers:
Baked Artichoke Dip with Baguette Bread
Cajun prawns
Wine and Beer

Dinner:
19-pound Butterball Turkey
Seasoned Stuffing
Poultry Gravy
Mashed Potatoes
Baked Pineapple (old family recipe)
Green Bean Crunch
Cranberry Sauce
Rolls
Apple Cider

Dessert:
Pumpkin Pie
Dutch Apple Pie
Banana Pudding Crunch (family recipe)
Baileys and Coffee

Pictures to follow...

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope it's a good one!

Starbucks Cream Liqueur

OMG, do NOT try this, or you'll be in danger of becoming an alcoholic. Seriously.

One word MEME from Sarcomical.

You can only use one word to answer the questions.

Yourself: Zombified
Your partner: Funny
Your hair: Messy
Your mother: Hospitable
Your father: Love
Your favorite item: Camera
Your dream last night: War
Your favorite drink: Mocha
Your dream car: Hummer
Your dream home: Cedar
The room you are in: Cube
Your ex: Gone
Your fear: Betrayal
Where you want to be in ten years: Happy
Who you hung out with last night: Jim
What you're not: Sane
Muffins: Chocolate
One of your wish list items: Money
Time: Quick
The last thing you did: Cigarette
What you are wearing: Clothes
Your favorite weather: Stormy
Your favorite book: Horror
Last thing you ate: Oatmeal
Your life: Crazy
Your mood: OK
Your best friends: Nuts
What are you thinking about right now: Food
Your car: Dirty
What are you doing at the moment: Writing
Your summer: Hot
Relationship status: Married
What is on your tv: Nothing
What is the weather like: Grey
When is the last time you laughed: Yesterday

Yes, I am alive.

I know, I know, it's been 2 weeks since I have posted. Let me tell you, LOTS has been going on in my life lately. Let me start with the flooding.

Last week we had some serious rain, and the town I live in was under water. My house was OK because I live on a hill, but getting back and forth to work wasn't happening well. We're talking only one way out of town, and 30 billion people going that way at the same time. Here are some pics I took driving:

All the poor downtown businesses were under water. The water was coming up to the road, water should not be on the right at all. (Notice the really nice crack in my windshield. Stupid trucks.) There was one part where I'm like "OH SHIT", the water is spilling over the bridges!

It is hard to take pics when you are driving and starting to get a little nervous.

After a 3.5 hour commute the next day, I decided to stay with my mom for a couple of days who lives 5 minutes from where I work. I don't like being away from home, but there was (OF COURSE) an audit going on at my work, and it was critical that I get there.

I worked 30 hours in two days because of the audit. Ugh. THEN, when I went back home, Jim and I got into a huge fight and I went back to my mom's for the weekend.

My birthday was Sunday, too. I am not all that thrilled with turning 35, but Jim and I made up that day, so it turned out nice.

Let's see, hmm. Oh! I had a migraine yesterday and had to stay home from work. Is that enough drama to get out of blogging for a few weeks? I think so. But I'm back now.

Boy, this would really suck.

Since I have been slacking on my earthquake fear mongering lately, here is a nice up-beat read:

Worst-Case Scenario – Cascadia Subduction Zone (survivingcascadia.com)

Things that irritate me, part four million and six.

1. When people honk their car horns, and it is NOT an emergency. It scares the crap out of me.
2. When people spell LOSE with two O's. (Loose). OMG! Come ON! (I may have mentioned this before, but it REALLY bugs me.)
3. People who do not have a sense of humor.
4. Cutesy home decor. Like cartoon stitchery angels and shit. GAG ME.
5. Too much clutter on your work desk that is not work related. We all have some, I'm talking ridiculous amounts here.
6. When people put their kids on the phone. I do not wish to have a conversation with a toddler, thank you. Put your dog on the phone instead, it will be more intellectual for me.
7. People who think their kids are too cute to be annoying. YOU ARE WRONG.
8. Tailgaters. I will slam on my brakes, don't do it.
9. People at Costco who will not MOVE OUT OF MY WAY when I say excuse me.
10. People who hum.
11. People who don't like dogs.
12. When people stand too close to me. Get out of my personal space.
13. When people don't stand by their word.
14. When you tell someone to shut up at the movie theatre, then they have an attitude with you. OH PLEASE COME OVER HERE AND LET ME SMACK THE CRAP OUT OF YOU.
15. Reality shows. (Sorry, everyone)
16. Packaged things that are too hard to open.

If you do any of these things, it doesn't mean I hate you, I'm sure I annoy plenty of people. Get over yourself.

Undecided

I am really having a dilemma on whether or not I will give out the two HUGE bags of candy I got from Costco tonight to those damn punk teenage kids who DON'T EVEN DRESS UP anymore, they just come to the house, ring the doorbell 50 times in a row, make the dogs nuts, and then stand there with their pants hanging down to their knees saying, "Trick or Treat, Dude". I don't know if I can take it. I think I will just eat all the candy myself and risk the vandalism. Fuck it. The only thing I will miss are the really cute 2-year-olds in the lion and dinosaur costumes. I'm not a kid person, but damn they are cute. I remember last year when my husband was dressed as Leatherface with blood all over him, and this cute little, tiny girl was smiling at him and wanted to touch his deformed face. I melted. All the other ones cried and screamed, but I wanted to adopt that little angel!

Louie is also quite fixated on the candy. I will not let him have any because as you know chocolate is poison to dogs, but that little fuzbutt follows me around, tries to lick the chocolate off of my lips and climbs up onto the coffee table to steal the candy wrappers and run with them into his crate for safe keeping. Ahh, Halloween.

Headaches, Hair Products, and Hunger

So yesterday was interesting. I had a migraine headache from hell. It was one of those headaches where you want to turn all the lights off, need it to be incredibly quiet, and lay down so you don't throw up. Of course, I was at work where the lights are brighter than a fricking football stadium, everybody was running around nuts and LOUD, and I couldn't lay down because it was hella-busy. Driving home was fun, I was seeing spots and weird colors. For EXTRA fun, they were doing construction on the road up to my house and they have it detoured about 10 minutes out of the way. It was awesome.

All better today, but I had to tell you about Christmas in the company bathroom. There is this girl who bought all of this fancy foo-foo hair product and face stuff and decided she was never going to use it, and instead of throwing it away, she put it all in the bathroom at work and told us to take it away! We're talking Aveda, Bed Head, Clinique, etc. I WAS SOO ALL OVER THAT. I'm stocked now!

Lastly. I'm hungry. I'm always hungry. I can't get my mind off food. Especially comfort food. I want turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and ham and scalloped potatoes and gravy and I don't think I'm going to make to Thanksgiving. Want. stuffing. NOW.

The Silly Viking

We were trying on hats in Leavenworth, and Jim is silly.

CrazyDogMama fell down and went boom.

My new "I hate the fucking treadmill so I'm going to play Racquetball instead" idea is sucking today. My feet stopped abruptly on the court, and the rest of me didn't. I landed hard on my right knee. I got the shot, though, I'll have you know. My knee is purple and pounding right now and I'm getting a headache. *Sigh* I'm such an R-Tard.

Nuke Tips

Stan Deyo just put out an article on "Nuke Tips", and surviving the apocalypse. Isn't that neat?

A Meme from Yerdoingitwrong.

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you think? Holy CRAP.
2. How much cash do you have on you? 34 cents.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? Jest.
4. Favorite planet? Pluto
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile phone? Jim.
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? The theme from "Halloween" the movie.
7. What clothes are you wearing? Black slacks, lavender shirt, black shoes.
8.Do you label yourself? Yeah, but I hate peeling them off.
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing right now? Rockport.
10. Bright or Dark Room? I like dark rooms.
11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Trying to sleep.
12. What did your last text message you received say? No one text messages me. I think I'll go eat worms.
13. What's a saying that you say a lot? "Shut up."
14. Who told you they loved you last? Jim.
15. Last furry thing you touched? Louie.
16. How Many Drugs Have You Done in the Past three Days? Some.
17. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? 4.
18. Favorite age you have been so far? 21 & 22.
19. Your worst enemy? Myself.
20. What is your current desktop picture? Trees turning colors.
21. What was the last thing you said to someone? "Sure." In response to the question "Are we going to the gym today?"
22. If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a major regret? Show me the money.
23. Do you like someone? Yes.
24. The last song you listened to? "My Sharona" by The Knacks.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.

It's coming. BE THERE. The saw is family.

CrazyDogMama, the Photographer

Ha! Well, I had my first wedding photography gig this weekend. Some friends of mine (Brittany and Daryl) got married in Leavenworth, WA yesterday and I took the pics. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you all. It was such a gorgeous day, about 80, and all the leaves were just starting to turn. You can click on them to enlarge them; they are much better that way.

Motivational Poster

I totally and completely stole this from the very talented "Diablo Cody and her Pussy Ranch", but since it made me laugh for a straight hour and 20 minutes, I had to do it. Please Diablo, do not kick my ass, but share in the joy that is having a dog (or two) run your life. Thanks!

A not-so-vicious post.

OK, I'm a little better today. I still feel like shit, but I don't want to kill anyone. Yesterday was a fun day of a migraine headache complete with snot-heaves. Yeah, I know. I'm back to work today, and I'm actually glad because staying in bed all day yesterday coughing my head off was no fun at all.

I have two new favorite shows, people. "Jericho" and "Men in Trees". Jericho is about a small town of people in Kansas who see a nuclear bomb go off in the distance and are totally cut off from all communications and don't know what the hell is going on or what to do. TOTALLY my kind of show. Men in Trees is about a woman (Ann Heche) who is a relationship coach whose love life goes in the shitter. She goes to a small Alaska town (from NY) to do a seminar and ends up staying there. It reminds me a little of "Northern Exposure", which I loved. It's just a silly, light-hearted show that I'm in love with. Total chick show, but Jim likes it too. We want to move to Alaska now.

Somebody Kill Me

I am so cranky today it isn't even funny. I still don't feel good, I woke up at 3 am, I'm hungry and have NO money and the work keeps piling up on my desk. Jim has bronchitis and is home sick. (Sick men SUCK. Whiny-ass babies. Not that I'm any better right now.) I pretty much want to kill everybody, not because they are doing anything, just because. My work stocks cold medicine, and I think I have taken enough Sudafed to outfit a meth lab. I sort of want to cry, too.

All Work and No Play Makes Cheryl a Sick Girl.

Ugh. I am hella-busy at work, and I am sick. My head aches, I think I have a fever because I am sweating and have the chills, my throat is scratchy and my tummy hurts. But I'm here, working. I haven't been to the gym in 2 days - and tomorrow I'm supposed to cash in the free "training sessions" I won. Don't think I'm gonna make it. Crap.

Here is my stepson, Mr. Snotty Snotterson, who is the one WHO MADE ME SICK.

Fall is here.

Fall comes to Washington in, like, one day. It will be in the 80's, then BOOM! The next day it's 55 and raining buckets. I had my windshield wipers on full blast this morning, accompanied by the butt-warmer, which I love. I was so ready for fall. I don't really like hot weather. Yeah, it's fun to go swimming and stuff, but I get all grumpy when I'm sweaty and dizzy from the heat. I'm all giddy to wear sweaters and scarves and cuddle up with my puppies with a nice, warm cup of cocoa and a good book. It's also supposed to thunder and lightning today, hooray! I know, I know, I'm weird. I even like the fact that it's dark now in the morning when I drive to work. I don't really know why. But I do. Right now, I'm trying to figure out some cold-weather comfort food to make for dinner. Stew? Roast?

Slow Dancing

OK, we're a little tipsy, but not too wasted to be all romantic and stuff. We just slow danced, you know, like you did in Highschool when you just hugged and rocked back and forth? Yeah, like that. My honey was all touched because I sang along. Do you know the song?

Love ain't a candle
It doesn't burn for one night
And need the dark to shine
Love is alive
And love ain't just a word
In every dictionary
With no where defined
Love is a man and he's mine

Love is alive
And at our breakfast table
Everyday of the week
Love is alive
And it grows everyday and night
Even in our sleep
Love is alive
And it's made a happy woman out of me
Oh love is alive
And here by me
Love ain't just a rule
A distant far away dream
That needs the night to rise

Love is alive
And love ain't just a song
Sweet words of music
To go dancin' by
Love is a man and he's mine
Love is alive, here by me

Apparently, I haven't done much living.

Just highlight the things you've done.  Got this from Yerdoingitwrong.

1. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
2. Swam with wild dolphins
3. Climbed a mountain
4. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
5. Been inside the Great Pyramid
6. Held a tarantula
7. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
8. Said "I love you" and meant it
9. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66.Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an expert
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Eaten fugu (pufferfish)
89. Had a one-night stand
90. Gone to Thailand
91. Bought a house
92. Been in a combat zone
93. Buried one/both of your parents
94. Been on a cruise ship
95. Spoken more than one language fluently (not quite, but close)
96. Performed in Rocky Horror Picture Show
97. Raised children
98. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication.
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad and The Odyssey
135. Selected one important author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

My results: 62 out of 150. That's 41%, a big fat FAIL.

12 Years Ago Today

I was translated into untold bliss. Well, I was married. I have to say that it has not all been perfect, but I woke up today truly glad to celebrate with my honey. I made us eggs benedict for breakfast, and Jim went to get me chocolate donuts. We have also been planning our next Disneyland trip! It's a little far out because we have had a difficult financial year, but we are all excited to have something to look forward to. I love you, Jim. How about another 12 years?

The pics: Us on August 27th, 1994, my bachelorette party the Wednesday before, eggs benedict this morning, August 27th, 2006.