As I promised, there are a few things in life that irritate me. I already did the list of what I like, so here is the "Dooce" inspired list of how to annoy me:
1. Be all snobby and say you "don't drink coffee because all the caffeine is bad for you" as you shove a triple-layer chocolate chunk brownie in your face.
2. Walk around the back yard for a half an hour sniffing the grass while the house is freezing over from the door being open, then 2 seconds after you come inside, poop on the newly cleaned carpet.
3. Pass me on a two-lane highway when its pouring down rain while I'm going 65, splashing so much mud and water on my windshield that I can't see.
4. Be a high-maintenance, bossy/bitchy customer while ordering food from me, then don't tip at least 15% after perfect ass-kissing service.
5. Don't control your kids at the store, and then act all surprised and offended when I tell them Santa won't be coming to their house this year.
6. Stand right in front of the DVD and book section with your cart at Costco for 10 minutes, then wonder why I am ramming it.
7. Act like my dogs are "annoying" you. Chances are, I like them more than I like you, and I will kick you out of my house.
8. Change the radio station I'm listening to without asking.
9. Tell me how to drive.
10. Get drunk and belligerent around me.
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