Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Are you paying attention?

to this

to this

to this

to this and this?

Interesting times we live in. I study this stuff.
I thought of something to blog about. And its interactive!

So I was listening to itunes at my desk and "Back in Black" came on by AC/DC. (You have to like that song.) *note - someday I will be blaring that song while going mach 5 in my newly purchased black '67 Camaro. Anyway, I started thinking about my childhood and how this song applied. Mostly it applied to me acting like a complete maniac - so I thought, how about a post of the 10 dumbest things I've ever done? Yeah. Good one. And all of you out there? Yeah, YOU. Tell me a couple of yours...

1. My friend Jesse had purchased a camaro that barely ran; I think he paid $200 for it or something stupid. It had no windshield. No problem! We just put motorcycle helmets on, cranked "Back in Black" and cruised down Highway 203 at about 110. (He was driving.) I kept thinking "This could be hard to explain if we get pulled over..."

2. I rode on the back of a Harley, twice, with just a bikini on. Burnt the SHIT out of my leg on the pipe. Twice.

3. Tried to make a big jump on ski's (without ever having taken a lesson) and landed on my head. I also jumped off of a ski lift once. Ouch.

4. Waterskiied with a bikini on, and no life vest. NOT. A. GOOD. IDEA.

5. Entered a drinking contest with my highly competetive nature. OMFG.

6. Almost fell off of a ferris wheel.

7. Dumped an entire bottle bottle of "Sun In" on my hair. It turned bright Orange.

8. Pretty much every guy I dated from age 16 to 20.

9. Told some men in a bar that my boyfriend was going to kick their ass. I found out that we could run REALLY fast while intoxicated.

10. Went dirt biking and crashed into a blackberry bush.

and that's just what I can think of right now....hehe.
I Have No Blogging Material Today

Blah. Wednesday. At least its payday - but its spent already as usual. There is actually nothing of interest going on this week - so tell me, internet, what do want me to talk about? The dogs are acting like idiots (nothing new there), I haven't felt like cooking anything, Jim is not doing anything, the weather is just boring and rainy, work is boring, nobody has died this week (ok, not funny), I haven't taken any pictures and nobody has done anything lately for me to make fun of. So, there you have it. I've got nuthin'.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

My Morning So Far...

Drive along side a fast moving train on the way to work, and when it blows its whistle, jump from being startled and spill coffee on your lap. CHECK.

Break a few dishes in the kitchen at work because you are a hopeless Klutz. CHECK.

Crash your hard drive. CHECK.

Completely screw up a document and have to start over. CHECK.

Eat fire-chili for dinner and pay dearly for it in the morning at work. CHECK.

While in the bathroom and can't go anywhere, listen to the cell phone you left on your desk go off LOUDLY in the office where you can hear a pin drop because you forgot to put it on vibrate. CHECK.

How is your morning going? Please, tell me...

Monday, April 28, 2008


Locking Gas Caps and....WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE....

First, I just got a locking gas cap and HATE. IT. and it hates me back. I was thinking that with gas prices rising out of control to $4 a gallon *big sigh* that it would be a smart move. It would have been smart if I wasn't as impatient as a spider monkey on crack. Jim gave me two keys; one for his truck, one for mine. They look identical. Do we mark them so we know which one is which? Of course not. Also, I let my vehicle run down to fumes before I stop and get gas. I can't help it. OK, so here I am coasting into the nearest gas station... I try to take the cap off as though it didn't lock. Oh duh! Okay, go get keys. Put wrong key in twice. Put right key in. Do a half turn JUST LIKE IT SAYS. Pull. Nothing. Pull again. Nothing. I start to panic. Look at directions on cap again. Half turn, pull. MOTHER OF HELL. Start jumping around in frustration hitting and kicking vehicle. People start to stare. I am almost in tears. Grip cap/key with my life and pick one leg up and plant it next to the cap for leverage. Half turn, PULL. COME OOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Walk around in a circle thinking. Go back to cap and half turn with key, grip cap and turn a little more....ppffffffffff. OPEN! HOOORAY! It only took 20 minutes. I seriously need someone to follow me around all day and just help me with stuff. You know?

Second, my mom called me from California and needed me to go get into one her "lock boxes" and send her something from inside it. OK, no problem. While looking through the box I found all kinds of fun stuff and got majorly distracted. I know, shocker. She had piles and piles of negatives in there. Fun! I start looking at all of them. OMG. Pictures I've never seen before. of ME. I found some particular bikini ones that just freaked me out. Did I EVER look like that? Holy crap! My favorite bikini, too! I remember it! No wonder I'm depressed...I sat and reminisced for awhile and then took them home to print. (Don't worry, I'll put them back.) I am SO going to put this one on the frig. Okay, maybe I'll never look like that again, but the fact that I ever did gives me some extra motivation. I had ABS. ABS!!! Now, never mind the hair. Just don't look directly at it. Oh, and YES, it was necessary to put on earrings and makeup and hairspray to go the beach. That's how we got picked up to go waterskiing. Duh. Also, yes, my mom has redecorated since then. Thank GOD.

OK! OK! I'll Blog...

You guys are getting entirely used to me blogging everyday - I'm getting emails wondering what's up, I haven't posted in over 24 hours now!? LOL. So what is up today, you ask? Well, I will try to put together a post that makes any kind of sense - my brain is all over the place. It's Monday, you know, and I am just now settling in at work with my coffee. I also had an early doctor's appt. this mornng, which is such a super way to start the week. UGH. I've been seeing the same family doctor forever now, and she knows me pretty well. It was just a well-check, but the conversation was a little funny because I haven't been in for awhile.

Doctor: "So how are your depression and anxiety doing?"
Me: "um...well...depressing and stressful."
Doctor: Just looks at me. Then smiles. "ok." (I am a master with words)
Me: "I don't know, some days I'm ok, some days I'm not."
Doctor: "Are you making changes like we talked about?"
Me: "um...sort of." I went bowling? Does that count?
Doctor: "Well, yes, that's a start. It's good for you to get out and socialize." (its good to know acting like an idiot is doctor recommended...)
Me: "Can I get an Epipen?"
Doctor: "What for?"
Me: "I'm allergic to wasps."
Doctor: "You are? I don't have that down here in your files."
Me: "Yes. I swell up and wheeze. And I want to go outside lots this summer."
Doctor: "When was your last reaction?"
Me: "About 19 years ago. I had to go to emergency."
Doctor: "19 years ago? and you are just now asking for an Epipen?"
Me: "yeah. I know. But I kept forgetting."
Doctor: Sighs. "ok."

Sidenote: Some random construction worker (maybe in his 60's) just stopped me and asked me if he could use our restroom. I said "How much money do you have?" Taking me seriously, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter. I said to just leave it on the counter when he was done. He said OK. I am so mean! I am totally laughing right now, and if there is actually a quarter in there when I check I am going to howl...

Remind me to tell you about my new locking gas cap later today. I'm sure it will entertain you. I have to work a little right now, so I'll blog more later.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

We are mature, sophicated adults. Really.

A good time was had by all. Did anyone break 100? We all sucked badly and it was hysterical. Something in my left leg is not right and hurts, (I'm limping!) so I did much better yesterday. I was also a designated driver so I only had one beer. (I know!) and someone kept drinking out of my beer glass! Hey Annie and Matt - thanks again for everything, you guys are the best! I'm soooo gonna get you back for sneak-paying, though! ;-)

This pic needs no caption.


What Jim would look like giving a sermon.

Evil Matt.

LOL. Just, LOL.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

A brief photo essay, cuz I'm dead tired. Bowling hurts. And I'm doing it again tomorrow. (sorry for the cell phone pics. I forgots my good cam.)

My ever-so-famous head shot (only) of myself.
Downshifting to water here.. from Maitai's.

My step son in "Fiddler on the Roof". He was AWESOME. Jim and his mom loved the show too.
Bill played PERCHIK

My Maitai. Yuuum.

Crap. Score not good. Head not good.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Real Quick Post, Then More Later - I promise

What is UP with LOST??? There are so few T.V. shows I like, but LOST is by far my fav. frustrated are YOU? They answer, like, ONE question, then make 20 more. Sometimes I just want to stick a fork in my eye. I actually was fortunate to start watching the series late and got to rent Season 1, 2 and 3 on DVD where I got to watch them all in a row - without interruption and without forgetting what the hell is going on. Now that I'm having to watch week-to-week with 2 month breaks, it just SUCKS! It has a very complicated plot and with so much going on it is sooo easy to forget things. and the commercials?? GEEZ-US!! Anyway, I'm sure if you watch you know EXACTLY what I mean. If you don't watch? What the hell is wrong with you?? Seriously folks, its worth a look. Go rent the seasons and get started. It does hurt my brain sometimes, but they do a really good job of combining science and spirituality. I'm constantly changing my theories.

OK, I have some bowling and drinking to go do, so until later tonight...I bid you adieu.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Busy Weekend Ahead, and an "uncut" story. I know you love those.

So today I get to work (if you call blogging working), but tomorrow our company is hosting an all-day bowling event with AN OPEN BAR to celebrate our success. The people I work with are complete maniacs - I fit right in. Then, that night we're going to see Bill (my stepson) in a production of Fiddler on the Roof. Hopefully I won't smell like margaritas and bowling wax. LOL. Break a leg, Bill!

Saturday I'm going bowling again! I didn't plan it that way, but what fun! It will be me, Jim, Juice (Annie) and her hubs and Hole (Beth). I will not be able to move by Sunday, I'm sure. And Sunday is dinner/drinks with Yogagirl and hubby!

Bowling is excellent exercise for the hips, quads and my right arm. I'm still a little out of shape. OK, WAY out of shape. For awhile there, I was pumping some serious iron. I could bench press 150lb, which is my personal best. That may not sound like much to the big guns like Skwigg and Yogagirl, but I was damn proud of it because some of the men I work with were all pissy that I could lift more than them. Sorry, boys! I've always been a little freakishly strong - without much effort. I grew up with all boys - not brothers, just friends. For some reason I got along better with boys. Go figure. I have these really muscular legs, and my guy friends taught me all kinds of things like how to fight and how to play sports, including wrestling. I guess I was a little naive thinking they were just being 'helpful' teaching me to wrestle, but, um...yeah. I get that now. HA. Pervs. Anyway, this is a good segueway into my story. I'm running out of blog material, so bear with me.

It was Junior High. Hell on Earth. Did anyone like Junior High? What a crap fest. Okay, let's just go with I hated Junior High. (Highschool was fun, though) I was going through that awkward braces/hormone balancing time that all us girls fondly remember. I did, however, still have an attitude with side of sarcasm. Not much different than today. In P.E., there was this girl who just gave me the hardest time. I didn't do anything to warrant this, but once she started, she wouldn't stop. I was athletic during class, but afterwards in the locker rooms - I would get myself all dolled up to go back to class. You know, tons of hairspray, perfume and such. She would make fun of me and call me "princess" and other colorful terms. She (Shara) happened to be this star gymnast, and she was a "rocker". Remember those? Lots of black makeup, black leather, Megadeath T-shirts? Yeah. She thought she was tough. She ran her piehole a lot. Most of the time I would just hurl sarcasm and whatnot, but one day she decided she wanted to humiliate me in front of everyone by kicking my ass. Let me tell you how that turned out for her.

We were doing "wrestling week" at school in P.E. class, and Shara must of thought this would be a great time to defeat hairspray girl. They had us form two lines - facing each other, and the next person from each side would go in the middle of the lines and 'wrestle'. Shara counted the people in line and correctly positioned herself so that she would be wrestling me. She was being particularly mean to me that day - following me around harassing me. I'd had it. I was ready. BRING IT, BITCH. She had no idea what she was doing. Here we go - face off. She tried to sweep her arm around my neck and bring me down, but instead I knocked her off of her feet inside of 4 seconds and pinned her down without even breaking a sweat. She was all red-faced and I thought her eyeballs were going to pop out. She was sooooo angry. She couldn't get up. She couldn't even move. She started yelling and I just looked down at her, calmly and intensly. When I finally let her up, she glared at me and I figured I'd probably get knifed later or something. Whatever.

I didn't (and don't) consider myself to be extraordinarly tough or anything, I think I just had enough anger, adrenaline and training to get the job done. It was so weird after that. She didn't say another word to me for two years. One day in the library she saw me studying and came up to me and asked me for help with something school related. I was ASTONISHED. She ended up apologizing to me for all the crap she gave me. Is that not a cool story? I love telling that story. I don't know what ever happened to her, but I hope she is happy and well.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Through My Eyes

Sometimes when I'm blue, taking photographs can take me to a different world. You really look at things, most of the time much differently than you would without the camera. You think differently. I guess that is the definition of art - expression; and in this case my expression is through my own eyes - what I see. I did photoshop a couple of the pics for effect, but the others are untouched at this point. I'm really not much of a photographer, but I try, and I enjoy it. I'm not trying to dwell on death, or any of my other haunts, but this quote from Plato (the Greek Philosopher) kept coming to my mind when I was photographing some of the flowers. (Yes, I read Plato.) I also like the latter quote by Emily Dickenson.

"The soul takes flight to a world that is invisible; but there arriving, she is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise." -Plato

"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words And never stops at all." --Emily Dickenson

Last Monday after my "Who am I?" post, on my last day of vacation, I went to breakfast at my local bakery (The Sultan Bakery), had a wonderful low-calorie breakfast with homemade french toast, homemade jam, scrambled eggs and the best bacon I've EVER tasted, and then headed off to the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. (Tulips are my favorite flower - the colors are so stunning.) It was about an hour's drive North. The weather was ominous getting there, but once there, it was beautiful and sunny. A perfect day for taking pictures. Okay, it was a little bit girly for me, but hey, it happens.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Back to Work

My 5 days off is over. Wah. Now, of course, its sunny. Jim is out golfing all day today for his big 4-0 birthday. (Happy Birthday!) He is not all that thrilled about turning 40, but the free-golf-on-your birthday is helping, I'm sure. I made him a cake yesterday and he requested steak for dinner tonight (of course). His mom and I went in together to get him a new recliner since his old one was completely hammered. It is a nice one, and being that he falls asleep in it almost every night, he really needed it. I am way broke now, though, because of the SUV repairs and the B-day expenditures. We can't afford to do much else, so I hope he is happy with those things.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Dear readers, if I have any left...

I'm sorry for all the 'downer' posts lately, I know I can be a serious buzz-kill. Its just that I have really come to a point in my life where I'm questioning everything. Yes, it is true that I have been hit quite hard in the last 5 months with some pretty big stuff. Death makes you really rethink many things. I feel as though several 'chapters' of my life have been closed. I can never go back - things have been left unsaid, undone. You really do change; I've changed. I have so many questions. What am I doing? Where am I going? What are my goals? I must be here for some reason. Is there something I am supposed to be doing that I'm not? or visa versa?

This may sound like a super cheesy B movie (I should have been an actress), but what am I destined to do? If anything. Will I have a legacy? Or will my life simply end at some point? There are two particular incidents that come to mind that happened to me, where I am amazed I still walk the earth. One was back in 1997. I was driving to work on an old back country road. I was going around 50 mph. Suddenly a deer popped out onto the road - giving me ZERO time to react, and it slammed full-on into my windshield. I shut my eyes tight, held on the steering wheel, and instinctively slammed on the brakes. I felt the car (I had a sedan at the time) slide sideways into oncoming traffic, then get all bumpy; obviously in the brush. I came to a stop after what seemed like a lifetime and slowly opened my eyes. My lunch was all over my car, along with the contents of my purse, but the windshield wasn't broken and I was ALIVE. I looked to my left and it took my breath away. If my car had slid 4 more inches, I would have rolled (or sailed) off of about 100 foot incline. There was no way I could get out, and I thought for a brief moment that if I even opened the car door, that the car would lose ground. In a about a split second I slammed the gear into first and put the pedal to the metal. Back onto the road. At that point I was shaking, but I don't remember ever uttering a peep. I looked back to where I had slid and saw these huge black skid marks that went on forever. I guess it wasn't my time to go...

The other time was about 6 months ago. I was driving home on Highway 2 (which is nicknamed the highway of death because of all the head-on collisions), and it was late at night. I don't think much of the dangers anymore because I drive it every day, but that night I had another brush with death. I was driving along around 60 mph. There is no divider between lanes for oncoming traffic, and to my right was only a small metal railing that separates you from a cliff down to farmland, or to the Skykomish river. I was at the river point. There are no lights whatsoever except vehicle headlights. Suddenly, a truck I think, swerved into my lane. I don't know if the person was sleepy, drunk or what. I was sober and had all my faculties about me, but I had NO WHERE to go. If I brake hard, I risk getting slammed from behind or sliding sideways into oncoming traffic, and if I go to the right, I risk flying into the river. Great. Again, I shut my eyes thinking "Okay, this IS IT. Please God don't let it hurt too much." I heard no braking, no tires squealing, no screaming, no nothing. I know I kind of swerved right a little hoping to avoid the head-on. There was NO WAY I could have made it. When I opened my eyes, I was just driving. Straight and normal. I didn't even think the person had time to swerve back over, but I guess they did. It had to have been by inches. Again, I guess it wasn't my time. Very strange occurrence.

Anyway, I'm just feeling odd. Like I can't quite figure out what to do with myself. I suppose time will help me, but even before all this, I was feeling anxious and unsettled. Most of you know I believe in God. You probably don't believe I do, but I do. I'm not a church-goer. Churches make me mad. I don't feel close to God when I'm sitting in a pew, I feel close to God when no one is home and I'm kneeling in the dark. And I've been doing that a lot lately. Asking God what it is I'm supposed to do. How do I help my mom? What do I do with my life? I feel like I am in some sort of limbo - frozen-like. Is that weird? That's a dumb question, isn't it? Of course its weird. Almost everyone I know has a plan. Taking care of their kids, working hard at their career, saving for retirement, blah blah blah. Not me. I'm flying by the seat of my damn pants.

Its actually sunny today. The snow is melting. I'm going to go somewhere. Anywhere. I'm also hungry.

Until later, internet.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

It won't stop snowing.

I thought maybe a day or so - a freak storm. Not so much. It has been snowing the last 3 days, and I woke up to it again this morning. It's April frigging 20th, people. If you don't believe we are experiencing climate change, you're out of your damn mind.

When all else fails, though, make crab and artichoke dip. It works for me. Sorry, I can't give you my recipe because it has secret ingredients. If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Here is an unhappy Jim coming back from knocking snow off of the satellite dish. You also may notice my poor little tulips that just bloomed right next to the tree. Neat.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

My Grandma

My mom just called and told me my grandma was gone. I called her "Mimi". I know its stupid, but that's what I called her when I was a kid and it stuck. I spent many summers visiting her, and a large portion of my childhood at my grandparent's house. They played with me, took me to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm and she was this incredible cook. She loved everything spicy - that must be where I get it from. She loved to dance, and her and my grandpa (which I called Papaw or 'Pap' - I know, you shut up.) were always dancing all over the house with country music blaring. They were a lot of fun. I would spend the whole summer there sometimes, and I met other kids in the neighborhood who became my really good friends, and they were always coming over to the "fun" house with the pool. My grandparents would even "slip" us beers. "Don't tell your mother!", they would say. No wonder I was popular. Hehe. Needless to say, they weren't the 'typical' cookies and milk grandparents.

She is missed already.

I am so sick of crying, it gives me a terrible headache. This makes 3 deaths in our family in 5 months. I'm not doing so hot right now. I wish my mom was here.

This is a terrible picture, but this is how I remember her - joining in the fun with my friends and I.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Oh and I almost forgot...

5.2 earthquake in Illinois? Here are some nifty articles about all sorts of fun goings-on, if you read these sorts of things. I am a news junky. Gotta know what's going on.







Ta-Ta, y'all.
Ummm....WTF? Over.

Okay, so it was 82 here last Saturday. It is freakin' BLIZZARDING here today. Wanna hear the newest round of crazy and messed up? I knew you did. Sit down. Have a drink. Join me.
So first, I get a call from work. At 9 am. Having a crisis. I had to drive in and fix it. My commute is an HOUR. I can't even get two damn days off in a row. How lame. (Yes, I am writing in short squatty sentences today. I write like I talk. and that is how I'm talking today.) So I went and did that and some other very frustrating errands. Tip: If you see something at Costco you want or need, BUY IT RIGHT THEN because it WILL NOT BE THERE when you go back. In the Costco parking lot I saw big black clouds and then it starting hailing. It did not stop hailing for 20 minutes. I like storms, so I was all jazzed. Thunder? Cool. Lightning? Even cooler. Horrendous traffic because it starts blizzarding on your way home? Not cool.
Then I get a call from my mom. My grandma isn't going to make it thru the night. She is in a coma and expected to die any minute. My poor mom is a mess - crying and upset and scared. I don't know what to say to her anymore. I don't know how to help. She may have to stay in California for a month to sort everything out with the lawyers. Sigh. Anyone wanna fly me to to the Bahamas, fill me up with xanax, give me margaritas, pet my head and tell me everything is was all just a dream....?

Lou is confused.

So are the birds. (See them in the tree?)

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm the Biggest Sap. On the Planet.

So I've been a serious couch potato today watching movies. So what movies did I watch? Sad ones. Because that's a great way to make yourself feel better. Not. One of the ones I watched was Titanic - one of my favs. It really is a good flick - a chick flick kinda, but guys seems to like it too. I cried at the end. of course. I always do. This was my third sad movie in a row and I'm thinking I need to go put in Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something so I can be normal. OK, that didn't sound right. LOL. Jim will be home soon so I need to get it together before he checks me into the looney bin. The dogs have been joined to my hip today. They like it when mama is home. They haven't left my side - and they are so faithful to lick my stupid little tears. It was a good day off. Eating, sleeping and laying on the couch watching movies. I've got tomorrow off too, but it will be filled with tasks. Meh.
You like spicy?

Decided on cajun prawns for lunch. Everybody begs me to make these, they are so good! I used to observe the chefs at the restaurants I worked at, and now I just cook some of the things I remember. Its really hard not to use an entire baguette (bread) to sop up the sauce.

Aaahhhh. Got my days off.

Just woke up and am going to figure out something to cook to eat, then probably watch movies all day or something really productive like that. I'm all by my lonesome today so I'm going to stay in my long T-shirt and Husky (dog) slippers. Its cold and rainy, so its the perfect time to get some much needed R&R. I'll blog more later if I'm not napping...

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

May I complain some more, please?

Of course I can, its MY blog! So there. Where do I start? There are so many things bothering me right now; some I can blog about, some I can't, but here is a buttload of the things I am going to vent to you about...

First, I just dropped my SUV off this morning to get some work done on, brakes, blah blah blah. How much is it going to cost? Over $1100!!!!! Aaaahhhhh! Well, groceries are overrated anyway, right? Craap.

Second, my mom just went back to California to get my grandpa in a dementia home and check on my grandma - and, well, she needs surgery and is refusing it. She will die soon. She is aware enough to make her own decisions - and she has decided she doesn't want to go through with the surgery. Terrific. More death. I feel worse for my mom after all she's gone through. When is enough enough? Seriously?

Third, I wanted to put in for my days off this morning, which would start tomorrow, but my boss is out today. Perfect. I am going to try and get it cleared through someone else - but of course it has to be the hard way for me. Always the hard way. You see my boss is awesome and pretty much lets me do whatever I want because I bust my ass for him. I don't know about others here. If I don't get some days off I am going to collapse, though, I can tell you that.

I know I am my own worst enemy when it comes to some things, but my life feels completely out of my control right now. One minute I think I'm handling things the right way and doing the right thing, and next minute I feel like I've completely screwed everything up. Don't I make you feel better about your life? LOL. Over the last week and a half, I've lost 11 pounds. I guess that's something good, huh?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Taking some time off to clear my head

I am going to ask for a 5 day weekend (Thurs thru Mon). I need it. Bad. I'm just sitting here staring at my computer screen. I can't think. I can't get anything done. and...I don't care. Yes, its negative time again. You didn't think I would be all happy dappy for too long now did you? Silly internet people. You know better than that. One minute I'm singing in my car like I just won the lottery and skipping around the zoo, and the next I'm just waiting for the sweet release of death. (spare me the 'you are too negative' speeches, please.) That is why this website is not called normaldogmama or sanedogmama or balanceddogmama. You want warm and fuzzy? Run. Away. Quickly. Yes, I know, I am big huge hypocrite. I tell people to go be happy all the time. At least I can admit it. LOL.

And of course my therapist is out of town. At least I've been blogging everyday. I can't believe I've been blogging for almost 5 years now.

Here is something upbeat for you: I get to meet Yogagirl! Yay! We've been stalking each other from almost the first day I started blogging - and now that she's moved from Texas to Oregon, we finally get to meetup. Speaking of Texas, I thought about moving to San Antonio for awhile about a year or so ago. Anyway, I'm starting to not make sense so I'm going to go to the gym and run. I hate running. My boobs flop everywhere and it makes my back hurt.

Peace out.

Monday, April 14, 2008

The pictures I promised from the zoo, and I wish I could sleep

This guy looks just like I feel. Except he can lay down. I have insomnia right now and it is terrible. Ambien won't even knock me out. Sometimes I just can't get stuff out of my head, I guess.

The hippos were cool.
Beautiful, no?
Well, I'm going to go flip channels now. Send good thoughts my way.
Fun Stuff, then Some Serious Stuff

Jim and I went to the Zoo yesterday. The ZOO. You know, to visit the relatives. *snort* It was a hoot! We really needed to get out of that house. We haven't been in a long time, I think since my step son was 6 or so. I remember he wouldn't go into the nocturnal house because it was "too dark", but then he saw a little girl go in so he got all brave. We went just by ourselves yesterday and held hands as we walked around. It was so sweet. We haven't done that in a long time. I know, AWWW. Shut it.

They have a really cool grizzly bear exhibit where you go into this little cave and there is a hole with plexiglass right where the bear feeds. We were really lucky to catch this incredible view! It is really something to have your face about 6 inches from a HUGE Grizzly bear's face. It was spiritual in a way. Looking into his eyes and seeing his teeth and amazing claws right in front of you. His breath steaming the glass and hearing his snorts. The hippos were active, too, and we actually saw the wolves! You never get to see the wolves! (I love wolves.)

I promise some pics tonight or tomorrow. I am fully retarded, though. I have this great camera, but forgot my memory storage cards. I only had one card with me, and since my camera is 10 megapixels, it only allowed about 13 pictures on it. DUMB DUMB DUMB. But I did get a couple of nice shots - I just need to fiddle with them a bit in photoshop first.

On to the serious stuff. That happens so rarely on this blog....

Saturday morning I was all weepy. If you've looked on my flickr account recently, you may have noticed a plant picture - a little tree, actually. It was given to me by a really dear childhood friend and his wife right after my dad died to plant in his memory. It died, too, I noticed that morning. I killed it. I suck so bad with stuff like that. I lost it and balled my eyes out. Jim didn't know what to do, poor guy. He kept telling me it was OK, but there was no consoling me. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes things affect me greatly and I have the hardest time with them. Anyway, didn't mean to be a buzz-kill, but blogging is such a good way to get this stuff out.

Happy Monday. Ugh.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Crazydogmama's badass kabobs

I know I've posted about this before - I think, but nevertheless I wanted to share. We had this incredible 82 degree day yesterday where I couldn't resist making my kabobs. I know this is not such a hard feat, but we like them. I marinate top sirloin in this crazy-expensive spicy teriyaki sauce, then add worschesire, garlic powder and red wine and soak them for hours. Then, I cut up fresh green pepper, red pepper, cherry tomatoes and red onion along with mushrooms and pineapple chunks. and this time I added some jumbo shrimp in jerk seasoning. MMMMMM. My tummy is very happy. I paired this meal with a nice cabernet.

And what's up with the weather, anyway? Two days ago it was like 30! Life is strange. In more than one way...

Friday, April 11, 2008

My New Sunglasses

I know you're thrilled, believe me. But you see, I haven't bought new sunglasses in like, 7 years. It was time. They are different from the kind I usually buy - so I got bug-eye, but I like them. Taken just a few minutes ago at my desk, never mind the bed-head or exceptional quality of my cell phone camera.
We're going out tonight (my co-workers) to celebrate getting through hell - and you know, its sunny and we may sit on the patio. It was a total and complete necessary purchase.
Am I a blogging machine or what? Go Crazydogmama!

After 8 GLORIOUS hours of sleep!

Aaahhh. Much better. I woke up in a good mood. Pigs are flyin' people. I'm rather silly this morning, so stay with me here...

So today's commute was a little different. Usually I'm listening to stupid traffic reports or talking on my cell - but screw that! I decided on music. I cranked some 70's tunes (shut it) and some other random stuff. At one point I stopped at a light and had "I'm alright" the theme from Caddyshack playing by Kenny Loggins (again, shut it). I was SINGING along with it, too, and two guys drove up beside me and looked over. One of them was sacked out drooling into his coffee cup (which made me laugh) and the other was smiling and laughing at me. I waved. He waved back. I continued to sing. "I'm aaaallriiight, don't noboby worry 'bout me..."

I'm thinking it will be an interesting day.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Can you say zombie? I knew you could.

I am a freakin' zombie today. Only had about, ohhh, maybe an hour of sleep - and I've worked 2 weeks straight in row. Its neat. I love it. People kept asking me every 5 minutes "what's up with you?" which really made me happy, you understand. Coffee didn't do anything except make me pee more, and I was busy today when I thought it was going to start slowing down starting today. The good news is I got my yearly review today and even though I only had one eye open during the meeting, I got tons of praise for a job well done and a bigger raise than I thought! Weee! Happy dance! I'll celebrate later. Need sleep. Now.

On a side note I thought this little snippet was kind of funny. Jim just got home and realized he left a whole plate of food in the microwave and forgot about - which I found when I got home and put in the sink because it was ruined of course. The conversation went like this:

Jim: Oh man! That pisses me off! I can't believe I did that!
Me: Yeah, it didn't make me happy either.
Jim: Oh shut it - you get pissed when someone accidentally throws aways a sugar packet. You act like you went through the depression or something.

LOL. Ok, so I'm a freak and don't like to waste things. Sue me.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

I'm sick of these MEME things, but this one is kind of interesting. Play along if you want.

I know how much you all live for learning about Crazydogmama. OH, and how about all this posting I've been doing lately, huh? Aren't you proud of me?

1. When and where were you born?

November 12, 1971 Long Beach, California

2. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

I was really into gymnastics, and I also liked to run around outside getting dirty. I was a tomboy. I loved to swim, too.

3. What is your favorite thing to do as an adult?

Sleep, eat, internet, photography. I still love to swim, too, but I don’t get to do it very often.

4. If you could change something about your life, what would it be?

Hmmm…I’m still in the process of figuring that out. There are lots of things I’d like to change.

5. If you work, do you like what you do?

I work. A lot. Its ok, but it’s not what I dreamed of. At least I get to indirectly help people. My company will sell in a year or two so I will have the opportunity to make changes then, if I want. I'm kind of sick of working right now. I've been working since I was 16 - and the most time off I've ever taken off consecutively is two weeks. HOW SAD IS THAT? I believe I will be kicking up my heels for awhile at that point.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people, besides their looks?

Whether or not they have intelligence and sense of humor.

7. If you went to college, when, where and what was your major?

I went to the University of Washington starting in 1989, ending in 1993 and majored in criminal law. I went back later (in 2000 and 2001) and got certified in Biomedical Regulatory Affairs.

8. What did you have for breakfast?

A chocolate protein shake. I would have rather had eggs benedict.

9. What are your plans for the next weekend?

I don’t really know. I’ve been kicking around going to the Seattle Art Museum to see the Roman Art exhibit from the Louvre. I’m not usually a museum kind of girl, but that sounds interesting to me. Either that or watch TV and eat macaroni and cheese.

10. Where will you go on your next vacation?

Vacation? What is that? If I had the money I’d like to either go to Bora Bora or do an Israel/Egypt excursion.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Apparently I'm not worthy...oh well.

How are ya'll doin' this fine and lovely morning? I'm having delusions of grandeur..hehe. Probably from working an INSANE amount of hours. Bora Bora is just looking better and better...
Annie, howz the ear? Hope you are feeling better chica...we need to bowl. I need a night out BAD.

I'm sitting here at my desk having much success slurping down a HUGE iced mocha with, like, 4 shots of espresso in it. and damn it, today, I got whip cream. I deserve it! I'm going to be heading back to the gym next week after I can get some sleep. (having a little insomnia lately from being amped up) I have taken quite the hiatus from lifting weights...and OMG it shows. Pumping iron always makes me feel better, so I need to get to it. Apparently (apparently is the word of the day, folks) I am "negative" and cynical. Fuck, who knew? Bwahahaha! Yes, its true all of you out there in blogland...I am probably not the happiest person that ever lived, but I think Denis Leary said it best "Life is a series of happy MOMENTS. A chocolate chip cookie or a 5 second orgasm." LOL. Sometimes that feels very true, no? I'm going to go here in my head today:

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Two posts in one day...don't fall over!

So what did I do with all that free time I had this evening? I had a Bloody Mary, listened to music and danced around my kitchen with a buzz. Oh, and I took stupid pictures. Stupid pictures = bored, non-serious, possibly drunk pictures, meaning I'm not using my incredible photography skills. HA. You know, I would LOVE to be a photographer for a living. What fun that would be. Maybe when my company sells (its a start-up company) and I have to rethink my life...I'll consider it. In the meantime I need to take a class or two, or fifty.

Anyway, here is a visual for you - I love the Rolling Stones, and tonight I was blaring "Love is Strong" off of 'Voodoo Lounge'. This is what I danced around the kitchen to...all erotic and stuff. Yeah, I know, try not laugh. But it does have delightfully naughty lyrics:

Love is strong and you're so sweet
You make me hard you make me weak
Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe we got to meet

A glimpse of you was all it took
A stranger's glance it got me hooked
And I followed you across the stars
I looked for you in seedy bars
What are you scared of, baby
It's more than just a dream
I need some time
We make a beautiful team
Beautiful team

Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe we got to meet
Just anywhere out in the park
Out on the street and in the dark
I followed you through swirling seas
Down darkened woods with silent trees

Your love is strong and your so sweet
You make me hard you make me weak
I wait for you until the dawn
My mind is ripped my heart is torn
And love is strong and your so sweet
Your love is bitter it's taken neat

Bloody Mary come to CrazyDogMama...

Totally funny, yet totally serious...

What would you say to an officer that pulled you over for not wearing your seatbelt?

Me? Tell him you are on your period and your breasts are too sore.

Works every time. :)

In other news, I ended up working Sunday too - after a nice long 12 hour Saturday. I am finally free (for the whole rest of the night!) and I think I'm going to ask for many days off to drink margaritas, my friends. Any joiners? (Nichole, perhaps you could come up early?)

Friday, April 04, 2008

The answer to "How late are you going to work tonight?" is "Until my anxiety meds wear off."

The company I work for is doing the first "human implants" with two of our new products on the 12th and 15th of April - which means serious crunch time for me. (We have developed two new medical devices that get implanted in the lumbar of the spine for spinal stenosis.) I'll probably be here until midnight or so tonight trying to get all my paperwork done - and then back again tomorrow. (Sat. - I know!) So, poo.

I'm taking a short dinner break right now and catching up on my internetting. More poor brain is mush and my anxiety levels are still raging. Did I tell you that (within 4 months) my dad died, then Jim's dad died, then we found out my grandparents have severe dementia and my mom had to fly to California to help them, then when she brought my grandpa back, he attacked her and she had to call 911 and they hauled him away. Now my poor mom, who still isn't over my dad dying, is trying to figure out how to get both of them in homes and my grandpa back to California. Thank God she wasn't hurt, but it scared the bejeesuz out of her. and me. (I flew out of bed at 2am and drove over there.) So, now you know why I'm on meds.

I am trying to find the time to take more pictures, however, and put a few on flickr (they are not exciting, sorry). Anyway - I'm rambling here and need to get back to work.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

I was tagged by Whine and Please, better known as "Whiney Momma" (love it)

4 Jobs I've Had:
Police Officer
Regulatory Affairs Specialist / Senior Document Control Specialist

4 Shows on my TiVo/DVR:
24 (when it comes back on)
Men in Trees
Two and a Half Men

4 Places I've Been: (this is REALLY exciting folks..)

4 Favorite Foods:
Fancy Italian Cuisine (veal marsala, pastas, etc.)
Papa Murphy’s Pizza or big juicy hamburgers for my fast food choice
Tenderloin Steak and Australian Lobster Tail
Good Chocolate desserts (lava cake, brownies, choc. Chip cookies just out of the oven..)

4 CD's Recently Listened To: (I don’t listen to CD’s – only my iPod and mp3’s…so here are the last 4 songs I listened to)
Forever in Blue Jeans (Neil Diamond) SHUT UP
All the Right Reasons (nickelback)
More Human than Human (White Zombie)
Saving Grace (Everlast)

4 Things You Can Do to Make My Day:
Leave a nice comment
Bring me a present
Give me money
Tell me I look pretty

4 People I Tag:
Shaking Sticks
The Fabulous BriannaNichole