Oh, Louie.

This is Louie's idea of peeing outside. Good grief. At least it's not on the carpet. It's snowing AGAIN. I think this will be my first white Christmas ever. Too bad I'm not 8. Well, Merry Christmas Eve. Yippee. I'm going to go eat some cake.

KFC

Here's my big rant as promised. KFC no longer sells potato salad. WTF? Fascists.

Christmas Toes

Oh my Lord what a madhouse! Leaving early was a good idea in THEORY. With the approaching storm, last minute shoppers and bad road conditions, traffic SUCKED! It took me an hour to go 5 blocks.

But I did manage to give myself a little Christmas present, a much-needed pedicure. See my Christmas toes? I know you love them. Grabbed my mom and now I'm waiting in the Costco parking lot for her so we can get some stuff. Perfect time to blog. :-) I'm sure I'll have some philosophical diatribe late this evening, I feel a rant coming on.

Incoming Storm

I get to get off early today and work from home tomorrow! There is another storm coming in tonight and they don't want me to have to deal with it or miss anymore work. My mom is coming to stay with me starting tonight, too, so that works out perfect!

I'm going to make us Christmas dinner, so leaving early today gives me time to go do the grocery shopping and not be out late. I'm making prime rib, scalloped potatoes, asparagus, salad, rolls, and chocolate cake for dessert! Of course, there will be wine and spiked eggnog as well. It will just be my mom, Jim and I, but I'm trying really hard to make it nice. We've all been through a lot, and I really want to appreciate every moment the best I can.

Purple Bathroom!

In order to keep myself busy and not sit on the pity pot of depression, I am developing a set of projects for myself that I want to get done.

Recently, the purple bathroom was accomplished, with new fixtures (except I still need a new faucet). I've wanted to do this for so long, and I finally found the perfect shade of lavender, and had the time and motivation. I now need to paint the bedroom and master bath, the laundry room, and the office. Then my house won't look so much like an apartment, and potentially will be prettier if I go to sell. I need new carpet in the worst way, but that is going to have to wait.

I also need to organize my digital pictures. That will be a job and a half. I need to give away a bunch of clothes. I need to have another garage sale. I'm tired of "stuff", I want to go minimal. Quality, not quantity. I also need to deep clean. Fun, fun, fun! The Bahamas are just going to have to wait for my next life.

What in the hell am I doing?

This is the title of my post. It should be my mantra. Have you ever thought this? This is a daily conversation I have with myself. What in the HELL am I doing?

What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? This is not even close to where I thought I'd be at 37. Not that I thought I was going to be a rockstar or anything, but usually people have SOMETHING figured out by now. Not me. It's not a midlife crisis, I don't need to relive my youth, I'm GLAD to be done with that. I've definitely gained some life wisdom, but I'm stuck. What now? I still need to move, not run, just move. I still have unfinished business. Sometimes I do the dumbest things and say the dumbest things. I also TYPE the dumbest things. But that's OK. Live and learn. You want to know something weird? I was in a pretty good mood today, then I went to bed and got all teary. The joys of being a woman, I guess. I got up because I thought it was ridiculous to be feeling and acting this way, and now I'm writing, because that's what I do when I'm restless and twitchy. I write. It's my therapy, and my outlet. The movie I just saw had a line in it that really got to me. It is what turned on the waterworks. A female in the movie said, "My life has been unremarkable in every way." I feel like that sometimes. Life is not about money or success or things or fame, but people. It's about people. I wonder if I have had an impact on anyone, ever. I'm sure I probably have, but it still makes me wonder. Have I been too selfish? Have I been too self-involved to see others? I reach out a lot, but usually manage to push everything and everyone farther away. That's probably why I like dogs. Crap, I don't even know where this post is going! I'm just blindly writing and letting whatever is in there, come out. That is the beauty of writing for me, to just spill out what is on the inside and try to make sense of it. I never really expected anyone to read it. Maybe no one is. Why is contentment and/or happiness so elusive? It's not like I'm the only one who struggles with this. In fact, I believe the majority of people are either in this same place right now or have been at some point in their lives. If I could just get a handle on a direction, then maybe I could get focused. I don't know. Someday this dark cloud will dissipate, but for now, I have questions.

Are you content? Is this all there is? What in the hell am I doing?

I had to go to work.

Well thank you for all the compliments today, I'm touched! You guys know how much I love comments anyway. It's what makes it all worth it.

I'm mostly goofing off (as you can see), trying to get SOME work done. No one hardly is here, and I have questions. Usually, I don't have to worry about going to work when it snows, because I can take paid time off, or work from home. But with a new contract job, that's not happening. So here I am! Got my snow boots on and everything.

I can't believe Christmas is Thursday, it just doesn't FEEL like Christmas. Things are just so weird anymore in my life. I don't recognize anything. I still have my sense of humor, though.

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Whine, complain.

Winter Wonderland & Cozy Attire

Pictures galore! I wore my purple fuzzy scarf today since I blubbered into my other one on Friday. I'm feminine from the waste up and bulky commando boot attire from the waist down. LOL. I just had a nice TREACHEROUS 2-hour commute, and I never saw pavement. I heard on the radio that the weather here hasn't been this bad since 1968. Neat! And it isn't finished yet, or so they say.

Despite snow walls, compact snow and ice and being broke, I'm actually in a good mood today! (Don't fall over.) I'm glad to be among the living. I could only find one open coffee stand (pictured) and got winked at by a cute guy! A good way for any girl to start her day. My computer isn't working here at work, so a-blogging-I-will-do on the Crackberry for your amusement, and mine. There is no one here to fix it yet.

What do you want for Christmas?

I need a Christmas miracle. Really, what do you want? If you could have ANYTHING? Is your wish generic or specific? Is it something shiny, or something for the heart? Tell me. Pretend I'm Santa.

I'm finally going back to work. I'd never thought I would be GLAD to go back to work. It still sucks out there but cabin fever is nuts. I promise I'll blog better today, yesterday was a hard day.

Wine with a side of pasta.

I have had a really bad day. Uber crappy. Instead of getting into it, I'll show you the pasta I'm making with a large amount of red wine in it. Angry cooking is what I call it.

Soul on Fire

I'm bouncing off the frigging walls.

I'm sorry, but it's just the truth of things. I need to get an out of state job ASAP. I think it would really help me.

Emotional, Sorry

Yes, I deleted the last post because I sounded like an idiot. I do that well. I'm just in the middle of a difficult and challenging process, and I get emotional some times. Life is hard. I need to get a helmet.

The storm is kicking some ass right now. I'm trying to get some video.

It is scary out there.

LORD HAVE MERCY!

Right now, I am huddled in a ball with the pups, and I am hearing frightening things outside. It's like a horror movie or something! Except I'm living it. The wind is screaming, then roaring, things are cracking, and the house is moaning. It is like a sub-zero hurricane. Jim is snoring and is of no help whatsoever. How can he sleep? I might have to wake his ass up. If I had a fireplace, I would be curled up in front of it, but no. Nothing normal like that, here. I'm wondering if we are going to lose power, the wind is fierce. If that happens, it's off to a hotel. If I can GET to one. The snow is piling up, too. Good grief, this is going to be a big fat mess.

This storm is something else, I've never quite experienced anything like it before. Not in my 30+ years of living here in Washington, anyway. It's crazy. I hope the house stays intact. Geez.

Don't make fun of me, it's Christmas.

I wrote this. Don't exactly know what it is. A poem? A song? Thoughts? You decide.

I wish I could look into your eyes, to see who you are.
I wish I could touch your face, so I would know you are real.
I wish I could lay my head on your chest, to hear you heart.
I wish you didn't feel so far.

I talk to you, but you won't talk back.
I find myself needing you when I'm full of fear, but do you hear me?
Do you know I'm still here?

Even in the silence,
Even in my despair, I know you are present somehow, I know you are there.

Keep me close, don't let me go, someday we'll be face to face and all emptiness will fade away.

Bracing for the Storm

Listen to this outlook for tonight and tomorrow, and remember, I already have 14 inches of snow and no fireplace. I'm totally screwed. Not only will I be in trouble if I lose power, but I'm worried about no work again next week. I guess this is when faith comes in, huh?

Puget Sound Weather Outlook

Updated Saturday 9:00 a.m.

This morning is the calm before the storm. Temperatures will bottom out in the low-mid teens, although some areas were much colder -- below zero, even! Arlington reported a temperature this morning of -3, while it was -1 in Sedro-Woolley and -2 just outside of Lake Stevens.

Strong winds will begin to pick up in the Cascade foothills this morning and increase in strength through the day. Peak winds of sustained 50-60 mph gusting to 70-90 mph are possible between 7 p.m. Saturday and 7 a.m. Sunday.

The rest of the area will be dry with increasing clouds, then heavy snow will develop around late afternoon in the south, pushing north through the Seattle metro area in the early evening. Several inches of snow are likely throughout Western Washington, save for the foothills, by Sunday morning.

The situation could be particularly dire along the far north coast, where you will get a combination of heavy snow and very strong winds. A rare BLIZZARD WARNING is in effect there.

At least I had a nice dream. I didn't want to wake up. It was everything I want in life, and I would have been just fine staying asleep forever. I was so disappointed when I woke up. Some of my bad dreams come true, so maybe, just maybe, this good one will.

Seven Pounds

WOW. Good movie! Very heavy, very intense. I'm glad I sat in the back row because I was blubbering into my scarf. The pic is of me STILL crying after the movie in the theatre bathroom. I waited until everyone left because I was embarrassed. It struck a few heart strings for me, as I'm sure it will for many. I can't tell you much about it, just go see it not knowing anything. It will make sense later. It's deep.

Oh, and it is TEN outside, and a tad slippery, but I'm so glad I got out. I needed that!

All Dressed Up

I'm going to the movies! Will be seeing "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith. I may even grab a burger. I'll give a full report when I get back. Screw you, snow and ice!

Kinda Cold

This is how cold it is, look at those icicles! They could, in all seriousness, kill someone. Which I might do if I can't leave my house soon.

I've never seen it like this here. Also, look at the table! So many inches I've lost count. At least the sun is out. I GOTTA get out of here! I've got to try and get to the movies or something, cabin fever is no joke, people.

Ms. Maggie ate the wrapping paper tube. The WHOLE THING. She apparently has cabin fever, too. Now she'll have the shits. Perfect.

Snow day # 3

Do you know what's REALLY neat? We are supposed to get a nifty little windstorm tomorrow with sustained winds 50-70 mph with gusts up to 90 mph. No power with no fireplace, AWESOME! CrazyDogMama on a popsicle stick! Crap on a cracker.