They make me feel good about myself.

I know y'all (all 3 of you) are probably sick by now of my training posts, but this is a big thing for me right now so ya gotta deal, OK?  OK.  :-)

So yesterday at training a couple of things. First, as I was walking in, this huge, ripped fighter guy was walking out and said "Dang girl, you are here more than I am!!" I laughed cuz it's true, I live there. Then, one of the other trainers gave me a "fist bump" as I was walking by and said "Good luck today!" I thought he was just basically saying have a good training session, but I found out later it was more than that.

It was an exceptionally difficult session. One of the things K had me do was pull a weight rack towards me from all the way across the gym with a big, long, thick rope tied to it, like hauling in a catch, then I had to push it to back into place and do it again. We also did "sledgehammers", which is slamming down a heavy-ass sledgehammer onto a big monster tire. Apparently, K carries his sledgehammer around in his car everywhere he goes. About halfway through I was just DRENCHED in sweat, makeup all over everywhere, and breathing heavy. My face was purple. K told me to sit for a minute and recoup and he brought me my water bottle. He came and sat down next to me coaching me on my recovery breathing and said this:

K: "I want to tell you something."
Me: "Ooh nooo, what? Am I doing it wrong?"
K: (laughing) "No. A few of my other MALE clients could not finish this same workout today. You've already gone farther in. They quit. I wanted you to know that."
Me: "Whaa? Are you kidding?"
K: "No. When Arnie, my boss, (the guy who fist bumped you earlier) saw my training plan for you today he said, Holy shit Krzysztof, isn't that a little aggressive for her? I told him no, she'll do it, watch her."
Me: (I just sat there blinking at him, I had no words.)
K: (smiling) "I was right."

They must all do it on purpose to motivate, but these guys make me feel so good about myself. God bless them!

My Road

I walk my own road. I always have. Sometimes I run down it, sometimes I am dragged down it and I sometimes even crawl down it, but it is MY road alone. Sometimes people try to get on it with me, but they (so far) just get plucked off, kicked off, jump off or fall off.

I interned for King County Police in Seattle when I was in college, and I became very good friends with the chief of homicide; he kind of treated me like a daughter and took me under his wing. (That was the dept. I wanted to work in once upon a time.) I remember distinctly on my last day, he handed me an envelope with a letter in it. Something he said in it really touched me and has stayed with me. He wrote "Cheryl, you are a very unique woman on her own road. You have a destiny ahead of you that will challenge you, but always remember that it takes both strength AND heart to make that journey. I believe you will go far. It has been an incredible pleasure getting to know you. Good luck to you in the Academy! Keep your sharp wit and stay out of those pool halls!" (Haha on the last part, I played a lot of pool back then.) What brought this up you ask? Well, K had me doing push-kicks tonight (those are when you push your opponent backwards away from you by bringing up your knee to your chest and thrusting your foot out to their chest) and for some reason every time I did one, I heard in my head "GET OFF MY ROAD!!", which made the kicks more forceful. You see, the voices in my head try to help out during training, LOL! So, it brought this memory up for me.

My Trainer in the Movies

So most of you know that my trainer "K", former UFC superstar Krzysztof Soszynski, is now an actor as well. He was in "Here Comes the Boom" with Kevin James, playing "Ken Dietrich", and his newest movie "Tapped" will be out this fall where he landed a major role as the bad guy. I also just found out that he will be in two HORROR movies, with production beginning soon. One is called "Severed Connections" and the other (and I quote) is "Blah, blah, something in the woods" which will be shot in Texas. LOL! One of these days I'm gonna ask him to get me a part in one of these horror movies as an extra. :-)  I need to be a zombie!

An update for those of you who aren't on my Facebook.

Making new friends at the UFC Gym, and I'm putting in effort to get out of my comfort zone. I am outgoing and friendly (or try to be) but I have this habit of not trusting anyone (especially women which might surprise some of you), or, I get set in my routine and don't waver from it. My friend wanted me to come down to San Diego to hit the casino with him and some of his friends and family, but I had training that night and so I declined. Stupid. Should have gone. Would have been fun. I *CAN* reschedule training and still get my 4 nights in a week with K. I also got invited to go back to Austin, Texas again in June, but it conflicts with vacation time one of my direct reports has scheduled so I declined because I figured I would get told NO due to having too many peeps in my department gone at once. I should at least ASK first before assuming. I will do that on Monday. One of the people going said, "But you HAVE to go! It won't be as fun without you!" How sweet is that? I think some out-of-town trips would be really, really good for me. For Pete's sake I still haven't been to VEGAS! Plus, I want to keep getting asked to do stuff, so I need to say yes more often. I'm not getting any younger that's for sure, and a single, financially stable woman should be groovin' all the time before the world goes to hell in a hand basket. I just booked a flight for a quick trip to see my BFF in mid-April, so I just gotta keep up the good work!

I read a lot and recently read the "The 18 Rules of Happiness". I was surprised to learn that I practice most of them and that is probably why I'm so happy of late, but if I work on those last ones, imagine the extra bliss! Rule #3 is "Say yes more". It starts with a quote, "I will say yes to every favor, request, suggestion and invitation. I will swear to say yes where once I would say no." - Danny Wallace. The only time I can feel good about saying no is when I already have plans! BUT I will take a raincheck!!

Tonight, K started me with Tabata sprints, then the big rope-pull, then slams, then sledgehammers, then crunches and leg raises, then sidekicks, then front foot pushes, then a whole bunch of skipping rope. He always saves the best for last. As I was leaving, he added this, "I am teaching Muay Thai and kickboxing on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Pick two and come. I want you sparring with my guys." Apparently 4 nights a week isn't enough.

I am a beefaholic. A vegan's worst nightmare. You'd think my cholesterol would be through the roof, but it's actually gone from 302 down to 200 in 6 months. Tonight, I made Filet Mignon (seared in a cast iron skillet), steamed asparagus and quinoa rice pasta (linguini cut) sprinkled with a little parmesan, garlic, red pepper flakes and olive oil. YUMM! K doesn't want me eating wheat or flour, so rice pasta gives me the pasta choice.

Something I read today that made me think, "There is no up without down, no strength without weakness, no light without dark. One cannot understand or feel true joy without first experiencing pain and sadness." Hmm, so true. The balance of life. God knows what he is doing.

I made it through training tonight with plenty of energy, but I got my butt kicked big time. Back is hurting from high twist kicks and kettle bell swings. (40lb full-body kettle bell swings are HARD!) He also made me do planks in between sets. My elbows/forearms were sliding to the sides during planks because there was a waterfall pouring off of my face onto the matt. This makes things extra difficult, it feels like I'm on a slip-n-slide. There are about 100 cardio machines in 3 long rows (treadmills, ellipticals, rowers, etc.), all facing the same direction at the UFC gym. Guess who was getting trained and paraded right in front of their line of site? Yup. I swear K does this on purpose. I have to concentrate really hard to block my audience out.

Slip Drills

I texted K this morning that my back was toast from last night's drills. He asked me to let him know when I hurt so that he can tailor my next workout to avoid injury. Thursday night I worked a lot on "slips" (see video) and we did 30 straight minutes of strike avoidance (getting out of the way of a punch or kick). This involves bending and ducking in all sorts of odd positions while keeping your balance, your fight stance and breathing correctly. It's hard. I like this video because it shows how sopping wet you get boxing and you can hear their "breathing" patterns which is what K is a drill sergeant about. Fricking breathing. Oh! and his latest beef with me is my "angry face". LOL! When I start feeling the burn and start grunting, my face contorts into what K calls my angry face. He says this, "STOP with the angry face. RELAX and breathe." I'm all "RELAX? Are you f'in kidding me? I like making my angry face!" Then he gets his Krzysztof look and says, "So you like letting your opponent know you are hurting and tired? Not a good plan." I hate it when he makes sense.

Slip drills:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUcPHtfzs8c

So, I've been with K for 6 months now and I swear he finds a new muscle to rip apart in me every session. He tells me this afternoon that I won't run on the treadmill today, but instead he felt I was ready for "running ladders". You know ladders, where you see football players doing it all the time in practice. It's like hopscotch on steroids. I just try not to trip over my own feet. So now my knees, hips and ankles have joined my back in hell. And I get one whole day off before I go back.

A question I was recently asked: "So, what do you do besides work and train?" LOL. Not much! That is my life. It takes a HUGE amount of time and dedicaton to do this. I only work so that I can afford training, or I'd give that up. :-) I don't have kids to raise, or a husband to slave over so I'm free to do the things I've always wanted to do! I don't know how I settled on boxing/kickboxing/MMA, but I found my "thing". Who would have thought? I'm sure the people of my past would be rolling their eyes, insulting me and calling me Jane Wayne, but I don't care what anyone thinks, I love training and I'm not losing myself again! It originally started as something to do to regain my health, but now it is my love and obsession. Some women are obsessed with men, I'm obsessed with punching them. Ha!

I don't even know where to start!!

There is so much going on in my life right now, it is hard to know how to put it all on here. I am on Facebook every day, it would be so nice if I could just copy and paste all that crap here and be done with it.  LOL.

Training is going well. I had a pivotal moment with it in December when Krzysztof (K) got pissed at me and told me I needed to get my shit together. It was at that moment that I decided to quit smoking for real and change some things in my life forever. I did it! Smoke free for over a month now! My eating is much better, too, and yesterday K told me I was doing "fucking amazing"!  He has never said anything like that before, he is more of the yell at me type. K's new move "Tapped" comes out in the spring. He is the bad guy again. I am actually learning some technique now, rather than just gasping for oxygen. Boxing is hard!  I will start learning MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) at the end of the year when I've dropped enough weight to do the grappling and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Mom is hanging in there, all done with Chemo and Radiation. She lost her hair, and it is growing back now. She had 70% tumor shrinkage and is in a partial remission at the moment. She is back to her "squirrel on crack" persona running around here driving me crazy. The doctor gave her less than a year, but I don't know, she is pretty onery. :-)  I got her an Xbox 360 for Christmas because she wanted to play the Kinect (like the Wii) for virtual bowling since she can't do it in real life. I, myself, am enjoying the zombie killing games. My stepson is schooling me on all things Xbox. "Left 4 Dead", "Dead Island" and now they just came out with "The Walking Dead" (after the series), which I love of course. I asked my therapist if there was something wrong with me (muscle cars, Xbox, horror movies, boxing), she said no, I was just a unique girl who was in touch with her male side. So, I'm going with that. People laugh at me when I have my boxing wraps on with my long, manicured nails. You CAN be girly and be a boxer too. Look at Ronda Rousey!!  She is totally beautiful and is one of the first women to be in the UFC!! UFC 157 in Feb!!

Work is weird.  Now that my Seattle counterparts are gone and the NJ plant shut down, I am overwhelmed and stressed, and don't know how much longer it is going to last. I'm putting all my money into savings and trying to hold off buying my new Dodge Challenger until after tax time. I want to pay cash for the car, but I don't want to eat up all my savings doing it. Training is super expensive too, so I have to figure out how I will replace my income temporarily if something happens to my job.  I'm still working from home 3 days a week since mom isn't driving, but I also train 4 nights a week, am still remodeling the house, the boys (my stepson and friends) come see me about once a month, and I go up there to see his plays, etc. Training used to be right here in Lake Forest, but K got a job at a new UFC gym in Torrance, so I followed him up there. Now it is an hour there and back. :-/  He is worth it, though, I am actually learning shit, and losing weight, and getting buff!

Well, that should catch you up somewhat. I went to Seattle in December to visit my best friend, which was a blast, but I froze to death, lol. I am going back to see her again in April, then she is coming to see me in July, and I will take her to Disneyland.

For those who asked, here is a typical day of my "fighter" diet that K monitors very closely:

Breakfast:  1/2 cup of steel cut oats (oatmeal) with stevia or honey. 2 eggs with salsa/peppers, water, cup of coffee. Multi-vitamin, fish oil, Vitamin D, Calcium.
Mid-morning: Protein shake with vanilla/caramel whey, 1 banana, nonfat milk.
Lunch: Grilled chicken with veges (celery, pepperoncini's, carrots, green peppers, green onions, cucumbers) and tomato in a spring mix/spinach salad in a ginger sesame dressing with croutons, water.
Midday: Protein shake with Chocolate whey, strawberries, peanut butter and nonfat milk.
--Killer workout for an hour--
Dinner: BBQ'd Beef tenderloin steak, steamed asparagus, wild rice OR sweet potato OR a little pasta, water.

Ta-Ta For Now!

Still Alive

I am working on a new site. I will be back soon. Don't give up on me!

Breaking Bad

OK, I came to the party a little late, but 'Breaking Bad' is hands down the BEST show EVER! It beats LOST, 24, ALL of them! My 70-year-old (but very hip) therapist recommended it to me for a "distraction". (Yes, I have a therapist, I have a few issues.) She absolutely loves the show (along with everyone else on the planet) and laughed while telling me the concept; a struggling, nerdy, seemingly spineless middle-aged chemistry teacher is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer (what my mom has) and winds up creating this pure crystal meth via advanced chemistry techniques with a former student of his so that he can leave money for his broke family and pregnant wife after he dies. OMG, the show is CRAZY, but incredibly well acted (Bryan Cranston has won 3 Emmy's now) and it just hooks you in completely. I was sitting with my jaw open at the end of episode 3, Season 1. I couldn't believe my eyes. I have been watching the seasons thru Netflix, waiting for each disc in the mail. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. So, I went out and bought a new 55-inch Samsung HD, 3D LCD TV with internet and a new cutting-edge Surround Sound system so that I can stream Netflix live and see the show in all of its glory whenever I want. So what that it cost me $3500! Maybe I will wait on retirement just a little longer. It gets delivered and setup tomorrow! Can't wait!

LONG LIVE WALT AND JESSE!

Life and Other Crazy Shit

So, the monkey wrench got tossed right into the ocean. BUT there was much learning from the event. I learned how I really feel about something and figured my priorities out. I think it happened for a reason because otherwise I would still be confused and unsure. As far as the prediction I mentioned, it can still unfold in my current situation. I just didn't realize it before. All in all, a positive learning experience, and a reinforced belief that "if something seems too good to be true, it probably is".

Krzysztof is now working me 4 days a week and I am actually improving by leaps and bounds! Especially my endurance in running/climbing. I can do more pushups, too! Weight is coming off slowly, but the inches are really adding up! (Muscle weighs more than fat.)

Mom is doing well and starts her fourth and final round of chemo next week. She finished radiation. She will complete all of her treatment by Thanksgiving! Yay!

I want to retire. My job is too stressful. They pay me a lot, but I am so tired, and I want to try and enjoy life before things get really bad. You know, do some traveling and stuff. Going to think about it and look for medical insurance alternatives to see if I can swing it sometime in the next two years. Maybe write for a living or do something fun part time. I don't know.

Monkey Wrench

Some very unexpected events have occurred in the last week, and I am all of a sudden questioning my life. A monkey wrench has been thrown in. The monkey wrench is good, really good, hence the confusion and questioning. There is some heart string pulling. It also made me realize how unsure I was about certain things. Sorry to be so vague; I'm sure this predicament will unfold at some point, and I won't be able to resist writing about it, but for now I need to get my head on straight and make GOOD decisions. This is happening for a reason; even others have told me they sense a good change occurring for me without them having much information. A kind of collective "this seems different, but different good". Bizarre. The other piece of this is that it was predicted by someone, and it seems to be happening exactly as spoken. October 20th could (possibly) become a very significant date for me.

Wanna Know What I've Been Doing and Eating?

I'm 3 months into training now with professional UFC fighter, Krzysztof Soszynski. He also makes my meals, which are quite yummy! My body has never hurt so much but felt so good at the same time! I am getting stronger and leaner every day and I'm loving this awesome and fun new sport!

Krzysztof's Power Breakfast:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nl6SZVpzhEQ&feature=related

Egg White Pancakes with Krzysztof Soszynski:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VvM-ps8eAE&feature=relmfu

I also just got back from 'Here Comes the Boom'! It was a cute movie, but I have to say, seeing a movie with someone you know in it, and sitting in the theater WITH them at the same time is as cool as it gets! The Reign Team was all there tonight cheering and hollering, so fun! K was freaking awesome!

Here Comes the Boom

So the place I train, Reign Training Center, is renting out a movie theater for the premiere of "Here Comes the Boom" and we all get to go! My trainer K (Krzysztof Soszynski) and the owner Mark Munoz (my new friend) are in the movie! How cool is that? If you watch it, K is the guy with all the tattoos down his arm. It's funny, I can kind of relate to the main character in the movie (ha) although K doesn't punch me in the face. Yet. :-)

Never think it can't get worse!

The past month has been challenging to say the least. My great uncle died, a dear friend of mine died suddenly, and I've been trying to balance working full time from home (occasionally going into the office), caring for my terminally ill mom, and (sort of) having a social life. The social life is suffering.  John keeps wanting to get together, but I've either had my stepson over, my best friend from Seattle visiting or some crisis happening. I feel so lost right now. So many things have happened in the last 5 years, and it isn't slowing down! I can't even begin to wonder what next year will bring. I'm trying to be brave, but sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night afraid. I don't know how long my job will let me work from home. I'm just trying to survive the best I can for now. I'm on God's good humor.

I'll never learn.

Y'all wanted training stories, well I have one tonight. As you may know, I am stubborn and pig-headed, and rarely do what I'm told. K (that's what I call my trainer) must say a hundred times a session, "Just let me know if u need to rest". I could be bleeding out of my eyes, and I wouldn't admit I needed a break. I paid for that tonight and I think K worked me too hard on purpose to teach me a lesson. I kept going until I could barely stand up, then I hurled. It was mostly just dry heaves, but when you have boxing gloves on you can't wipe your mouth or open the bathroom door. I think K felt bad because he kept apologizing. LOL. I got up ready to get back to it but he said we should probably call it a night. Bah!

OK, here's the deal.

My mom is sick. Very, very sick. There isn't a whole lot of time left. I have had to take over everything and take care of her. I am working from home a lot and trying to keep it together the best I can. It isn't easy. I am sad and overwhelmed to the point of collapse. I am going to be utterly alone.

I had to break it off with John because he is never around. (I see him maybe once a month with a text or two in between.) I am not going to be his "good-enough-for-now" girl while he looks for something better online. He still has all his online dating profiles active, and I deserve more. I care about him, but I'm not doing this anymore on HIS terms. He has treated me well and I know he cares for me too, but I had to put on my big girl panties and grow a pair. Maybe he will realize I am worth it, and maybe he will just let me go, but I am done waiting around. I think he is worried about me right now because of the situation with my mom, and he has contacted me several times to make sure I'm alright, but I am staying strong. It was hard to do, but the reality is he wants to keep his options 'open'. Well, he can. I just won't be one of those options. I can't change him, and he can't change me. I'm not needy, nor desperate, and I do just fine on my own, so be it.

My trainer is Krzysztof Soszynski, the UFC fighter. He is ripping me to shreds! He makes me run, then box, then kickbox, then do pushups, then run again, then I get to swing a sledgehammer down onto a monster tire. That's the fun part. :-)  My stamina is getting better, but when I come home, I collapse. I am drenched in sweat, red-faced and can hardly move. He looks scary, but he is super sweet.  He texts me two or three times a day to make sure I am eating what I'm supposed to and feeling OK.

So that's where I'm at. My life is still a mess.

A Lean, Mean, Fighting Machine

So, I'm now doing Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) and fitness training with a personal trainer. I start tomorrow at a place owned by a UFC guy. The website: http://www.train2reign.com/

I'm going to die. That's all I know. I'm going to die.

Paying It Forward

My faith in the human spirit is being positively influenced these days, which is shocking. What will I do without cynicism? So, I was sitting in line at the drive-thru at Starbucks this morning before work. When I got to the window, the girl told me that the person in front of me had already paid for my drink and all I needed to do was "pay it forward" some time. Isn't that cool? Now I'm plotting my pay-it-forward strategy. What to do, what to do. How fun!

Amazon Book Purchases and New Favorite Songs

The latest purchases are a bit reflective of the era I seem to be in. "You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning" by Celia Rivenbark, and "Fat is the New 30" by Jill Connor Browne. They are wickedly funny!

In other news, I went to San Diego with my friend Mario to hit the Gas Lamp District and see a concert (Collective Soul) at the House of Blues. It was great fun! The hotel we stayed in was hilarious; the door to the bathroom didn't fully open because it hit the side of the bed. Pretty funny, and SO my luck. Mario has been a great friend to hang out with and distract me from the woes of my life. My new favorite songs by Collective Soul are "The World I know" and "Heavy". Thanks Mario!

50 Shades of Grey

Want to know what engrossed 100,000 women in just 1 week (including myself)? Is it intellectually written? No. Is it a completely fun, and an intriguing story? Yes! Is it naughty? Yup. It involves bondage, S&M and all kinds of controversial things. They are actually selling these novels at Costco. COSTCO! Shame on you, Costco! *Giggle*

Yup, I'm reading erotica. My friend Brandi from work came back from her vacation (with my boss, who is her boyfriend) in the Maldives and was ranting and raving about the book(s) she bought and read there that she is now obsessed with. I was intrigued, and she told me all about the "50 Shades of Grey" series. I am now done with the first book, and well into the second. I can't put them down. Does it give me ideas about my sex life? Oh yeah...

It's true, I haven't written in my blog for a while. I've been busy, yes, been having blogger problems, yes, and well, I have other things on my mind. The men in my life? I am going to plead the fifth for now. Yes, there may be something steamy in the works, but I am going to keep it to myself for now. Sorry, guys.

I will be updating soon, having blogger problems!

 Don't leave me just yet!