Dating is Weird

 O.M.G., I found this blog today LOVE IT! http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/

One particular post sent me into hysterics, especially this post:

Dating Is Weird: An Open Letter to the Love/Hate Boyfriend

Horse Racing and Other Random Things

So, I went to Los Alamitos Racetrack last Saturday night, and it was really super fun! The horses are so beautiful, and I kept winning!  Woo! Then I lost.  LOL. Also, I BBQ'd carne asada, took a pic of Mags doing her platypus stance, and had my nails done black and tan. How is that for random? I know my last post was rather cryptic, I didn't mean it to be. I received a letter that was written in a way that really made me really think about some things in my life. In particular, it made me reflect on my recent status with John. Although I really like him, I may be letting him get away with behavior I shouldn't.

Am I Crazy?

I'm not so sure about this recent boyfriend thing. It's not fear, it's something else. I read something tonight from someone I can't disclose that made me really stop and think. It was the most incredibly written letter, written in a way I cannot even describe. It was beautiful but so different. Intelligent yet hilarious. It ignited something in me that I thought was burnt out forever. Hmmm. Crazy. I wish I could share, you would see what I was talking about.

What's on your bucket list?

I have had a "bucket list" since I was about 15, way before the movie came out. Over the past couple of years, I have been able to cross a few things off like "Go to NY", "Own a pool", "Reach a [specific] salary goal", etc. Whenever I cross something off, I add something new. Today I added "Go to Italy", "Fly a helicopter" and "Drive a race car". The pic is me jumping out of an airplane (hanging from the strut) which was the very first item I got to cross off my list way back when. Tell me something on your bucket list, and if you don't have one, make one now!

Life in Cali is Rough

Moving here to start my life over was the best decision I have EVER made. Things are going so well in every area of my life that it is starting to make me nervous!

So, Johnny said he is going to take me to Vegas. My second mom is actually there right now visiting her son and she has been telling me about her adventures on the New York New York rollercoaster, kayaking, zip-lining, etc. It sounds so fun! It was funny when I had the "Where have you been around here?" conversation with John.

John: "You've NEVER been to Vegas?!?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "OMG"
John: "Palm Springs?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Santa Barbara?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Please tell me you've been to San Diego."
Me: "Not since I was a little girl."
John: (with his hands on his head) "Holy crap, woman! We have some traveling to do here!"
Me: "Yes we do!"

Cheers!

The Captain

I splurged and bought a box (OK, two boxes) of the best cereal that ever existed. Captain Crunch! I loved it as a kid, and I still love it! No other cereal even comes close to being as awesome as Captain Crunch. Even the name is awesome. Crunch Berries! And you know what? It isn't as many calories or as high in sugar as I thought it was! Justification! Wheee! I remember my mouth hurting after eating so much of it as a kid. I'm much tougher now. I also just discovered the best restaurant. Oh. My. God. I had the Filet Oscar and it literally melted in my mouth. It was a culinary orgasm. It has been a really good week.

Off the Market?

John kept me out until 3 am. On a work night. I kept telling him, "I gotta go, I gotta go!" and he kept saying "10 more minutes". Yeah, he is hard to resist. The status of our relationship was confirmed last night when I asked him to "define" what he meant by saying I was "his girl". He declared that it meant he had no desire to see or be with anyone else but me, and that he would be a "fucking idiot" to let me get away. That statement coupled with his earlier statement of how I am "such a good woman" and he did not believe a good woman existed in Los Angeles, and, well, how do you say no to that? And he is such a good kisser. LOL! So yeah, he wins. He is totally cool with my guy friends; in fact he said, "Be friends with who you want, flirt with who you want, I just want to be the guy you're with at the end of the night."

So, there you go, I'm taken. Off the market.

I'm on my 6th cup of coffee. It's not working.

A Mom Story

A mom story for you. So it wasn't until my father passed away in late 2007 that my mother was willing to get a cell phone like a normal person. It took her awhile to warm up to it, but I can even get her to text occasionally now. I still can't get her to buy a smart phone with a qwerty keyboard or internet access, but at least she's workin' what she's got. What is funny is that she used to make fun of me who won't even go to the bathroom without my phone, and now SHE is THAT attached to hers! Last night I am watching TV and she comes downstairs from being on the computer. She walks into the kitchen, and I hear her start to giggle. I look up to investigate and she is holding my wireless mouse in her hand. She thought it was her phone.

Not much else going on except I'm hanging out with John tonight. He just texted me saying "See you tonight Honey". Honey. We've been seeing each other for a while now, but I'm still not used to that. I'm a walking issue.

Crazydogmama's Favorites

I’m always getting asked about my favorite this and my favorite that, so without further ado, here is a random list of all my recent fav’s! I am picky about everything, but when I find something I like, look out!

FOOD AND BEVERAGE

Crow’s Cocktails – Long Beach, CA
John introduced me to this dive bar on our second date. We LOVE it and usually at least stop by every time we go out! The perfect mix of interesting people, the music is not too soft/not too loud, the bartenders are VERY entertaining and attentive, they pour good drinks, and if you need a cigarette, you go just outside the front door and you will meet some real characters. If you can get a seat at the bar, you will be in people-watching heaven; as this place is standing room only by 10 pm. John and I like to try and guess what’s going on with the people we see, like, “WOW, desperate housewife” or “He is going to break up with her tonight, look at their body language!” Also, it's a great place to make out.

Tantalum – Long Beach, CA
This place is AMAZING. The décor, atmosphere, view, food, everything! I was so impressed. Best calamari I’ve ever tasted, and OMG, they have a “Meat Lover's Bloody Mary" which is a combo of tomato nectar, beef jus, Absolut Peppar, beef jerky, bacon & blue cheese olives”. My coworkers introduced me to this one.

5 Guys Burgers and Fries – Huntington Beach, CA
YUMMY! Cajun Fries! Raw Jalapeños! James took me here on Saturday, then I told my mother about it and we went on Sunday. Not good for the diet, but good for the soul!!

STUFF

Brighton Collectibles – Irvine, CA
Some really cool and unique accessories! (Jewelry, purses, wallets, etc.) Pricey, but good stuff. I want the heart necklace and the silver ballet flats!

Smashbox Cosmetics – Online or Sephora
I have tried every type of makeup you can think of, and Smashbox ROCKS all of them! My favs include: Full Exposure Mascara, Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder, Limitless Eyeliner and the Nude Lip Pencil.

Bliss Hand Cream - Sephora
It smells good and it works! ‘Nuff said!

Jessica Simpson Shoes – Online or at DSW
Don’t cringe. These are some seriously cute and comfy shoes!

ACTIVITIES

LA Boxing – Lake Forest, CA
Great people, great workout, great fun! For those of us who would rather stick bamboo up our fingernails than walk on treadmill.

Lobster

Not the kind you eat! I spent all day at Huntington Beach yesterday with my friend James and holy hell, my face and chest are blistered, and there is a small section of my tummy that is beat red. I look completely retarded. The pain! I don't want to take a picture of myself because I'm afraid the flash will hurt! It's also very itchy. Stupidity.

The Bowlers

I took the kids bowling. Bill bought an old bowling pin, and we all signed it to commemorate the day. Good times. Erica and I went to get a mani/pedi for girl-bonding time. :-) Surviving 3 kids (young adults) for a long weekend is like surviving the apocalypse. LOL.

Hangin' out by the pool.

So far, the weekend has been great fun! Perfect weather, good food and relaxation. The kids had fun goofing off in the pool, my friend James came and hung out, and my two moms told me that if I put their picture on the internet, it would be "my last conscious act". LOL!

Big Changes!

The first couple of photos are the old kitchen and family room, with popcorn ceilings, an olive-green tile countertop, a hanging wicker light, grass wallpaper, wood paneling, dirty carpeting, an ancient television, furniture that has seen better days, gold picture frames, plastic panel lighting over the kitchen, and appliances from the 60's and 70's.

In the rest of the photos, you'll see a much-needed remodel with a new leather couch, an electric fireplace, a big HD Smart TV, new paint, crown molding, recess lighting, laminate flooring, black granite countertops, and a new sink/gas stove/dishwasher/faucet. It turned out beautiful!

Stress Less, Weigh Less

I've been focusing more on peacefulness and happiness rather than just straight weight loss. Honestly, I think it is half the battle. Holly Mosier agrees with me. I picked up this book at Costco, but I've actually met her. She owns the boxing gym I go to here in LA.  A very gorgeous 49-year-old woman.

Yes, eating right and working out hard is necessary too, but if you are all stressed out and unhappy, you get nowhere. TRUST ME. When I first moved here, my cortisol levels were through the roof!  It has taken me a year to fix my thinking and chill out, and a bunch of weight fell off. Not all of it, but a good start.  When you are happy, people gravitate to you, too. I just talked to John who is all stressed at the moment and the first thing he said was he wished he was here with me because he doesn't feel stressed when he is around me. I think it was our third date when he hugged me, laid his head on me and said, "I just wanna BE with you."  It made me feel so good. Probably why I like him so much.

Anyway, it is a process, and it doesn't come naturally, but it does work if you keep trying. I played with a Cairn Terrier puppy yesterday. My mom thought it would wig me out and make me start crying, but it didn't. Puppies are good for the soul! Then I went to see "Super 8". Fun flick! I took some pics of the new kitchen and family room. I will post them later.

3 Men and a Crazydogmama

OK, it's kinda 4 men now, but then the title wouldn't be so brilliant. An explanation? No, I'm not a Ho. Well, I guess if I slept around I would be, but I don't. So there!

John is great. I am incredibly attracted to him. He is totally sweet and fun. One problem. He is kinda AWOL between dates. Not much communication. I don't know what he is up to and I don't ask, but my intuition tells me he is a bit of a playboy. I could be wrong, but I haven't been yet so I listen to myself. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt for now because he is, well, a GUY, and he has had car trouble lately (apparently), but the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing was never truly discussed soberly so I'm not closing down my inbox just yet. and WOW. As soon as you start dating someone you are really into, the pheromones start pumping out through the top of your head, and all the dogs come running to sniff, I tell ya!

Joe is back in my life (kinda). James won't give up. And, Mike, he be the new guy. My mom said, "Are you in some kind of love triangle?" to which I replied "Uh, no, it would be a love pentagon."

Never in ALL my life did I EVER think any kind of scenario even REMOTELY close to this was possible for me! Wheeeeeeee! :-)

Thank GOD I live with my mother.

I know there are women out there balancing a career, children, a household and a social life, and quite frankly I don't know how you do it! I am only balancing a career, a social/dating life and occasionally I do stuff around the house like a load of laundry. I am busy ALL THE TIME and there is no way in HELL I could do it alone. I don't know how I did it when I was married. Well, I didn't, really, that was all an epic failure as you can read about the archives.

Mom, thank you for all you do! She does the grocery shopping, most of the cleaning, the watering, and is managing the house remodel and takes care of the dogs. She is also my receptionist, counselor and event coordinator. I am not embarrassed to admit any of this, because it is just the plain truth.

My mother is an amazing woman and I love her so much! Go mom!

Yes ma, I'll clean my room. :-)

Out with my peeps.

Mailbag

I thought I would take the time today to share some of my responses to emails of late.

Question: "Wow! You get a lot of dates! What is your secret to attracting so many men? I am recently divorced also, and I think I'm pretty, but I hardly ever get asked out."

Answer: "Hi, thanks for emailing!" I have to admit, this question shocked me! I see my love life and experiences with men as a disaster from the word go, and to think that someone feels I have a "secret" when it comes to men is such a compliment, so thank you! I guess I would have to say this is what is working for me: Be happy with exactly who you are and exude that confidence. Have a busy life full of things YOU want to do, don't wait around and pine for men. Have no expectations, enjoy each moment for what it is; not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Smile A LOT and have fun *consistently*, men hate moody women. Don't be a man-hater. Men are great! They are a lot of fun and they have emotions and feelings just like women. DO NOT ASK MEN OUT, AND DO NOT CALL THEM, EMAIL THEM OR TEXT THEM UNLESS IN RESPONSE. LET THEM PURSUE YOU. (This is a really important one that I learned the hard way.) Look the best you can each day but do it for yourself. I am not thin. I am not the prettiest girl out there. I don't have the most expensive clothes or jewelry, but I think I get asked out because I know who I am, am laid back and friendly, and I'm not desperate or needy. NO DRAMA! A nickel's worth of free advice: If you don't get called, or asked out again, it isn't rejection, it is simply that he didn't feel a "connection". It isn't his fault OR YOURS, it just wasn't meant to be. I hope this helps!! Good luck!"

Question: "I just read through quite a few of your blog posts and see that you have truly been thru a lot of crap! You have (are) handling it so well (it seems). How did you cope with so much so gracefully?"

Answer: "Hi, thank you so much for the nice compliment, and thanks for writing! Well, honestly, it hasn't all been so graceful on my part. I had some pretty major meltdowns, and some days it was an effort just to get up and breathe. I was in intensive therapy for about a year, and I had the BEST therapist EVER. He helped me so much. I tried to focus on the fact that no one is out to get me. I am not cursed. Life just happens. There is nothing wrong with me, and I'm not unlucky. I've made mistakes and so what, everyone does. I've learned from them. Life is too short to be angry or jaded or depressed because I truly believe all the people who have crossed my path blessed me in some way. I am the person I am today because of ALL the things in my life. I have no regrets. I honestly hope my ex is happy, I miss all my loved ones who have passed away, but I know they are no longer in pain, and they have left me with love and good memories. I have all the reasons in the world to be happy and hopeful about the future and I am continuing to better myself in some way on a daily basis.

Oh, you wanna know how the date went, dontcha?

I know you are all on pins and needles, well, because my life is just so damn interesting. Ha!

Well, we watched the sunset AND the sunrise. ;-) Yes, it was a very nice and romantic evening to which my heart fluttered every time he kissed me and touched my face. The beach was beautiful and quaint. I am enjoying every minute of this and not letting myself get wrapped up in any expectations. I don't spend time analyzing what his intentions with me are, and I'm not asking. There is no hurry; if it works out, it works out, if it doesn't, it doesn't, although I do really like him and have incredible chemistry with him. He is a very good looking, successful 46-year-old man who says all the right stuff, does all the right stuff, who has never been married and has no kids, so being certain that he is my knight in shining armor would be a little unrealistic and stupid on my part, I think. I am not even 100% certain of our status as a couple, and that's OK. He keeps calling me, he keeps asking me out, and apparently, he thinks of me as a "goddess".

As we were checking out the beach scene, a group of VERY attractive women walked by us.

Me: "WOW."
John: "Yeah, they're hot, but you're a goddess."
Me: (smiling) "A goddess? Uh huh, yeah."
John: "Don't kid yourself. I'm a guy, and trust me, you are incredibly sexy. That, along with intelligent, successful, fun and a total sweetheart."
Me: (Somewhat speechless) "Um, well, thanks. I've been called a lot of things; Goddess is a first."
John: "Well, you are."
Me: "OK, let's go with that."
John: (laughs)

So, although it sounds like I blog every detail of my life, that is not accurate, there is soooo much more. Lots of stuff going on in my life. Sorry, but some things are just mine to keep. ;-)

Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!!!

John is still having car issues. Crap! I have to wait until Saturday now to see him, but at least we can spend all day together then. I am so impatient, though. Arg! It was cute when he called, he is impatient too. ;-) And he is too gentlemanly to ask me to do the driving. He kept telling me how much he missed me. I think he is going stir crazy without his vehicle. He has his own business and works at home, but he is stranded. I'm all dressed up, too. Bah! Figures.

In other news, I'm now planning a Vegas trip! Woohoo! I've never been there, so this should be fun! A friend of mine (Annie!) turns 40 at nearly the same time I do, so us and a big group of friends are thinking of celebrating in Vegas. Viva Las Vegas, baby!