ALREADY?

Halloween candy already? Really? Holy cow. Now I want some! OK, the "killer" pack has Reses, Milky Way, Twix and Whoppers. Score!

The Good Life

Better day today. I think one of my favorite things in the whole world is swimming at night looking at the stars. I know I mention it a lot, but it really is the coolest thing, especially when it is hot. It is refreshing, peaceful and fun. I am trying to make it a nightly routine before it cools off too much to do it. Although knowing me, I will do it anyway.

Made sweet and sour chicken stir fry tonight and it turned out pretty good. Work has been making me crazy, but I left ON TIME today and did NOT take my laptop with me. It is hard. I am a perfectionist, and it takes time to make things right. I am missing my friends from home and my old co-workers, but I am making some new friends too. It takes time. Life has certainly changed a lot for me, and I am trying to take in each moment. The last few days got the better of me, but I have to remember how far I've come. All of this has not been easy. Things aren't exactly the way I want them quite yet (they never will be) but I am learning to just "be". A hard thing for a girl like me to do. I have a fantasy I allow myself to think on once in a while, but reality is what you make it, so I have to be careful with that. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend. Not sure what I'm going to do yet, but you'll be the first to know!

Avoiding the doctor.

I think I know why I've been so grumpy, besides being overworked. I'm stressed, my house isn't selling, and I've been avoiding the doctor. I got a call on the move down saying I needed testing right away and I haven't done it. Guess I better get on that. Haven't been feeling that great.

Good riddance to a bad day.

Okay, I went right to bed after my last entry feeling exhausted and frustrated. (To say the least!) I just woke up, can't sleep anymore. It is muggy and hot, so I am going to go downstairs to have some orange juice, take a swim and watch the sunrise with the pups. I want to start today out on a positive note.

Day from Hell

HELL. Traffic was a nightmare. I had an appointment with the DMV to get my Cali license and I circled the parking lot for 45 minutes trying to get a parking space to no avail missing my appointment and leaving me cussing. I spilled my lunch down the front of my WHITE blouse, everything I touched at work had a problem, our electronic doc system went down and I lost my work, nobody would leave me alone, even when I tried to sit and have a coffee, the dinner I cooked turned out like shit and I want to know where in the holy hell my knight in shining armor is that is supposed to rescue me from all of this? I would love to just fall into his arms right now. I'd have better luck winning the lotto I think. BLAH!

The capper for the day: I stopped at a little mini mart on the way home. There were 3 punk kids blocking the door harassing people. Normally I would take the safe route and drive to another one, but not today. I was in NO mood to be any more inconvenienced. I got out of my car with a ball point pen in my hand, slammed the door, walked over to the entrance like my feet were mad at the ground (with high heels on) sporting a pissed-off look on my face. The three punks looked over my way, backed away from the door and didn't utter a peep. Smart of them. I was ready to jam that pen into someone's neck if anyone tried to touch me.

Shit My Mom Says (.com?)

I really need to start another blog: "shitmymomsays.com"

So tonight, we went to Lucille's BBQ, and she asks me, "So when are you starting your Xbox thing?"

My Xbox thing?

I replied, "Are you referring to P90X extreme home fitness?"

She said, "Yeah, whatever."

ROFLMAO!

If this doesn't kill me, nothing will.

My P90X stuff came the other day. I'm both excited and nervous to get started. I'm famous for starting and then quitting things, and I'm trying to break that cycle. I know I won't drive to a gym, so I think this is a good alternative for me. I'm also not exactly the Richard Simmons type of exerciser either. LOL. This is serious, hard-core stuff. No pansies! There are two people at work who I found out are just starting it too, so I have accountability and people to talk about it with, which always helps. I did "Body for Life" that way, but that was what these people call the "baby starter kit". Do you believe I can do it? I'm always tired, so the challenging part will be to not want to take a nap instead. I can get all sweaty in the comfort of my living room, then go jump in the pool to cool off. Root for me, I'm going to need it!

A Night at Laguna Beach

I spent the evening down at Laguna Beach for sunset dining at C'est La Vie with my mom. I had an amazing Chateaubriand and Cabernet! We went shopping at Chico's (bought a new bag, sunglasses and jewelry) and had a gourmet espresso that burnt my tongue. I had a fabulous time, but too bad it wasn't a night of passion with a new man! I'm outta my funk now, thanks for the advice, Lea!

Finish This Sentence

This is the second day in a row I've been in a funk. It stinks. Tell me, when you are in a funk, how do you snap yourself out of it? Let me know, I'm interested. Here is another game I stole from a fellow blogger, it's called finish this sentence. "If I could have done one thing differently in my life, I would have..."

Let me see your answers in comments or emails. Pretty please? I need some cheering up. Thanks.

I want to be a beach bum.

I'm in a bad mood today. Some days I just want to quit my job and be a beach bum or something. Work invades everything. How did this happen? I climb the corporate ladder, become moderately successful and now all I do is work. I can't even take a four-day weekend. I never intended to be a workaholic. Not at all. In fact, I think there is so much more to life. Right now, you could say things are going well for me, but I'm lacking what I want most. My soul kind of aches. I try to motivate myself, but I end up caring less and less. Every time I try to care about someone, everything goes nuclear on me. I'm not alone on this. I talked to a woman in a store the other day, for quite a while actually. She is 45 and in the same boat I'm in, as well as all her friends. She is drop-dead gorgeous, and she said there is just crap out there for men. Her friends say the same thing. One of her friends is a model and no longer dates at all. Not a good prognosis. I thought I found someone once a few years ago, a very special person, but, mushroom cloud. That is why I decided maybe I ought to just focus my attention elsewhere for a while. I feel burnt out, though.

Extreme Home Fitness, Laguna Beach and Las Brisas

I just joined the world of P90X now that I've lost 47 pounds. Time to get serious. For those of you who know about P90X, you know what I'm about to embark on. For those of you who don't, look it up. It is a pretty amazing program.

Went to Laguna Beach today with my friends from NJ and had some yummy seafood at the awesome "Las Brisas" right on the ocean. Back to work tomorrow but seeing that I worked a bunch at home due to an influx of panic emails, I may as well have been there. :-/

I am so frustrated with the world of dating right now I could puke. I don't even want to talk about it.

More cute pics!

I had such a great weekend. I talked to my best girlie friend today and she said I love kids more than I let on. I guess I do. I love big families. Maybe the guy I end up with (if that happens) will have some and make our family bigger. I'm such a big goof ball. Part of me is really having fun and discovering myself, and part of me is craving a really good relationship with a man who loves me for me. That, and I need some really good SEX. LOL! I have a life now, let's get on with it already!

Took the kids to airport tonight, and my mom will be going back to Seattle soon. I will be all by my lonesome again.

Photo Extravaganza

As I was telling you, my step son (Bill) and his girlfriend (Erica) came down to visit for a few days. We've been swimming and went to Disneyland. We ate at the Blue Bayou restaurant and the Monte Cristo was amazing! The kids LOVED it. This has been so great, I feel so blessed. My family keeps getting bigger and bigger. I made my famous and requested "Cheryl Pasta" and BBQ'd steaks as well. Tomorrow I'm making a big breakfast for everyone. I love cooking and having lots of people at the table! There are many more good times to be had here, I can't wait for the holidays now!

The Crazies at Disneyland

My former boss (Helen) and I went to D-land on Monday night and had such a blast. She is way more fun outside of work. LOL! Splash Mountain broke down on us right before the big drop (bummer!!) and we had to exit our logs. Helen touched the wall and was very surprised it was made out of paper-like fuzzy stuff and not plastic or concrete. Weird! While we were waiting, we took pics of ourselves. Great night!

The OC Fair 2010!

Hangin' out and havin' fun with the guys from work.

My feet are going to fall off.

OMG. I am too old to be at Disneyland for 15 hours. BED.

Oh, and I may have been mistaken about Mike, he didn't disappear. I think I'm a bit pessimistic about men sticking around; they like to disappear on me. I sent the kids (stepson and his girlfriend) off to go get some fast passes for some rides while I sat and checked my email, and just as I see 2 emails come in from Mike, MY PHONE DIES. Of course. I'm such a tard. I'm all, "NOOOO! NOT NOW!" I was a little down today, even at Disneyland, until I saw that. We did all have a great time, but it is hard being a third wheel (if you know what I mean), even as a cool stepmom. I'm still working on the pics.

Using My Annual Pass

Going to Disney, big smile! Me with my annual pass! Wheee!

Disappearing Acts

Just when you start to really like a guy, they disappear. Yup. Story of my life. I don't think I said anything to scare him, so whatever. Moving on I guess, again. The whole dating thing is just WEIRD and frustrating. You start talking online, or wherever, and then POOF. I know when I've done or said something stupid, but I didn't this time. I don't think. Perhaps I am mistaken, but it happens like this frequently online. Usually, they just become obsessed with someone else. They always say they hate games and drama, but I swear, THEY are the ones that create it. Fuck them. I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow, hanging out by the pool and having a BBQ on Saturday and Sunday, then meeting up with friends on Monday. Four-day weekend! His loss.

I've really got to get a new adapter for my pics. I have some great ones! SOON!

Working from home today.

A mouse jumped in the pool today. I was so enthralled it didn't occur to me to take a pic. They are good little swimmers. I'm not afraid of rodents, I think they are cute. Weird, right?

I worked from home today so that I could get some work done! Everyone bombards me when I'm at the plant. I'm still tired.

Super Human?

I got home from work tonight, plopped on the couch, and the last thing I remember is waking up 5 minutes ago. GEEZ. Guess I needed some sleep? I am so stiff from running around Disneyland I can barely walk, and while I was sleeping, I missed phone calls, emails, all kinds of things. I have lots of company coming and now I'm down to one day to get ready. Well, I suppose they aren't coming to see my bathroom, huh? Let's hope not! LOL Crap.

I will get pics up ASAP, but I have to buy a new adapter for my camera to get them onto the computer. My other one went TU. I should be able to do that in my spare time. HA. I think they believe I'm super human at work. Someone needs an earful of how I'm not. I guess I'm going to have to threaten someone for a day off. How am I going to build any kind of relationship with someone if I can barely get time to go pee? Have I told you how sweet Mike is? God, I feel like I'm 15 again.