I wasn't going to blog tonight, but I did.

My mom called and said I had to blog because I can't just leave people hanging. That's funny. When did this blog become so damn important? I can't imagine anyone caring that much about anything that I write, or hanging on every word I say, but I guess it is possible. I remember back in 1998 reading my first blog/website and wanting one soooo bad. I made it a goal to learn HTML, and I actually wrote it down on my goal spreadsheet. (Shut up.) Then, blogger came out a few years later and it was as easy as 1-2-3. You had to know a little HTML back then to have extras, but not too much. Now you don't have to know squat unless you want something really unique and fancy.

Anyway, I guess you all want to know about my interview, huh? It went great. After a crappy few days I wasn't exactly bringing my A-game, but it turned out well. The new director is spunky and fun, not at all what I was expecting. She said the other person she wants to hire (the person I would be reporting to) was someone she knows and said she could tell from my personality that we would get along great. I think that is a pretty good indication that I'm definitely in the running. I don't know who my competition is (they won't tell me) but I felt good about how I presented myself. I make a point to never be fake, but to express myself exactly how I am and what I can do. She seemed impressed. HR contacted me later in the day and said they wanted to set up another interview next week with someone else. I'm just going with the flow, waiting to see what life is going do next. BRING IT!

There is something I have learned lately that I will share. It is the concept of reality. Not existentialism or anything (ha!), but about what "reality" we create in our minds. Our thinking. What we think, or what "reality" we create for ourselves, determines how our life goes. It affects our mood, our emotions, our decision making, everything. The problem comes when the reality we create isn't actually "real". Deep shit, I know. I don't think I am explaining it well, so here is an example. Two people witness the same event. One of them thinks it has a great, positive outcome, and the other thinks it is a tragedy or horrible mistake. It is a very real feeling or interpretation for each person, but who is correct? Both. Neither. It is only perception and their reaction to it, and it affects each one differently, possibly a life changing perception. I'm starting to learn how to change my own reality. It is quite fascinating. It doesn't mean there are not facts or truths (e.g. the event was just the event), it just means how we look at them can be extremely important. Another example: If a child goes through a situation where their mother and father divorce, and the child goes to live with one parent, that child may grow up thinking that the other parent abandoned them. The fact may be that the parent without the child had no choice in the matter, but nevertheless, abandonment is the reality for the child until they change their reality.

What in the hell am writing this for? LMAO! I have no idea, just writing. Did your eyes roll to the back of your head? Didn't mean to get all philosophical.

Get! Go on! The pic is of my new sunglasses.

I'm Dying

Have had a very rough couple of days. Don't even know what to say. I guess there is nothing to say.

I think I am going to die from no sleep.

It's going to be a long week.

I have my interview on Thursday with the Director, but then it will be hurry up and wait. Which I totally suck at. But in the meantime, I set up an appointment for my partial tattoo cover-up. I'm getting my rose-piercing-the-heart touched up (I designed that myself!) and well, I think I'm going to have to go with some more roses or something on the bottom where the name is because "cover-ups" are difficult apparently, and laser removal is SUPER expensive and painful. Forget THAT. Flowers are more feminine anyway. ;-) So, in ALL ways, this will be a painful week. LOL.

Nice Weekend.

My mom and I were chatting on the phone Saturday night, and after about an hour I said, "This is stupid, why don't I just come over?" She agreed. So, I threw the pups in the car with an overnight bag, and we went to see 'grandma'. (That's what I tell the pups and they get all excited. LOL.) We watched a movie (A walk in the Clouds) and then went to bed. Sunday, we got up and went to breakfast at Denny's (I had the prime rib & eggs skillet) and then went shopping after I said this, "You know how material things only give you temporary happiness?" My mom said "Yes.", then I said, "Let's go get some temporary happiness!" She said, "Okay!!" So, we went shopping. She bought a ring; I bought some new sunglasses (like I needed more of those) and we both got some makeup. Had a great time. Went back to her place, took a nap, got up and grabbed dinner and watched another movie "He's Just Not That Into You". The movie was too funny. It was obviously chick flick weekend. I'm back home now getting a load of laundry done and paying the bills.

I don't know what day next week I have the interview for the Cali position, but I'm anxious for it. I have zero patience. I want to know NOW. It's funny, I'm going on vacation in a month to the place I might end up living in. Guess I'll have to find a new vacation spot!! I cancelled my eHarmony subscription (shut up) not only because I'm sick of it, but I'm thinking I probably shouldn't date anymore until I figure out where I'm going to be living. Ha.

It is so weird how everything has changed so much for me in such a short amount of time. But you know, I'm doing pretty good. I feel like things are really looking up. I do wish I had a special someone to share this exciting time with, but I believe he will come. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he will. I hope it happens the way I want it to, but in the meantime, life is happening all around me and for the first time in a long time I can see it and am participating in it! I have learned much, made mistakes and feel like I've been through it all, but now I know what I want and what I don't want. I'm actually feeling more confident, and I know I can handle what life throws at me. I've still got some self-improvement to do, and I'm doing it, however no one is perfect and I'm not beating myself up over the stupid stuff! At this point I am actually willing to take chances I've been so afraid of before, live anywhere, and I'm on the road to happiness, and when that special guy does ride up, I'll be ready, and he will be spoiled rotten! (And so will I!) ;-)

He answered me.

I prayed to the Lord to ask Him if I was making the right choices, because these are BIG choices! I asked if He could somehow let me know that I was on the right path, and this is what was sent to me this morning:

This is a time of the culmination of many of the things that I have spoken to you in the past, says the Lord, and also a time when you can now proceed into the next phase of your life. You may experience a sense of loss as you make some required changes, but this will actually be a time of looking back briefly before you begin to move forward. Don't be afraid to let go. I am with you to take you higher. Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." 

Up at 3:30 am.

I'm either too excited, or there is something wrong with me.

With the great news at my company (having fun on e*trade!), as well as the possible MAJOR move for me, I can't sleep. My boss wrote the nicest recommendation email to the director at the new L.A. plant on my behalf. I had no idea she thought of me so highly, either that or she wants to get rid of me, ha! (I cause trouble and make people do things right.) I'm getting interviewed next week, so wish me luck! I've never been a "boss" before, so this is uncharted territory for me. My stepson is all excited at the thought of me moving because he is going to college there in the fall. I am to text him the 'minute I know'. He is getting nervous for college; it is so cute. I went to his last stage play last week, and he was so good! I think he will do just fine.

So, I am hiring a gardener. Screw it. I just don't have time. My elderly neighbors gave me the name of theirs, so I'm just going to do it. Not only that, but if I have to sell the house, I need it looking decent. I am replacing the rotted fence in the next week or two and looking into new carpet since the dogs have destroyed it. I swear I am going to get them doggie diapers!

Well, that's about it for now. Have no idea what I'm doing for the weekend. I don't know what to do with a weekend off! LOL!

It's Official!

A very, VERY good day! The company I work for got FDA approval today (in the news) and officially went commercial! This means great things; I will go into detail some other time. Things are changing rapidly for me (and going to change more) so I'm just trying to keep my head above water.

Up and Running Again

The TV guy just left; he was here for TWO hours! Apparently, everything was toast. I'm up and running now though! Yay! Now I just have to remember all the shows I watch so I can set up my recording stuff. That will take a day.

I've been multi-tasking all day. Working on VPN, doing laundry, supervising TV guy, ordered a pizza, ran the dish washer and kept the dogs at bay. Everyone keeps calling me, so the phone has been ringing off the hook too. SHEESH.

I really thought I knew what busy was, but lately I have learned a whole new kind of crazy/insane.

Lou's Birthday and a Tattoo Idea.

Happy Birthday to Louie! My big boy is 11 (77 in dog years). He is my grumpy little old man. LOL.

Need to do a cover-up job on part of my tattoo because I'm stupid. Maybe something like this.

Looks like I have a pretty good chance of getting my big promotion and moving. Most likely to California, but I haven't ruled out Dallas if I don't get this one. I would have no mortgage and a pool in California, though! Wow, life is really changing, kind of weird. I had this idea of what my life was going to be like once, I'll never make that mistake again! I should know within a month or so.

OMG the world almost came to end tonight.

I turned my TV on, and no signal. Reset it, unplugged it and plugged it back in, did everything I knew how to do. Nothing. I know the bill is paid. So, I went to my computer to get online to get Direct TV's number. NO INTERNET. WTF? Did an EMP hit my house? Spent an hour trying to diagnose the problem. Gave up and called my ISP. A 30-minute wait to talk to an agent. Wanting to kill someone at this point. Gave up after 10 minutes and decided to take my modem apart and put it back together. That worked! Hallelujah!! Went online to get 24-hour tech support for TV. Spent an hour online with them and got nowhere. CRAP. The earliest they can have a guy out is WEDNESDAY. This means I miss "24" AND "LOST". NOO! PLUS, I have to work from home on Wednesday to be here. Hopefully my boss will let me. Good grief. At least my crackberry is working. Lord have mercy.

I hate it when I can't sleep.

I guess I can go in late tomorrow if I have to with all the hours I've been working. I worked about 5 hours today on site. 14 days in a row now.

I've been listening to music tonight since I have no TV. Just daydreaming and relaxing. Got caught up on some of my personal computer work, too.

I'm getting my tattoo changed. Finally. I'm not looking forward to the pain though, it HURTS. It is right on the ankle bone, so it is a big OUCH. I'm going to make the appointment tomorrow. It's time.

Freedom has its advantages.

My mom and I were talking and we are finding that we are enjoying doing what we want, going where we want, talking to who we want, buying what we want, watching what we want and seeing who we want! Just being who we are! I like it. I'm finding out a lot about myself, it is interesting. The future looks bright and exciting!

Enjoying the moment, the present. Anyone want to join me? I am never going to put myself down again! I'm awesome! LOL.

Everybody's Workin' For the Weekend.

Remember that "Loverboy" song from the 80's? LOL! I have it in my head.

I'm at work waiting for people to get things to me so I can edit them. Taking a little lunch break to blog in order to appease my readers. There are so many things happening right now (can't talk in detail yet) and my head is spinning. My life could be in for another major change, a really positive one, I think. Regarding my career, I'm meeting with someone next week to discuss a possible transfer/promotion, which would be out of state. I will talk more about it once I know more, don't want to jump the gun here. I have decisions to ponder, people to talk to and arrangements to make, but it is all very exciting. These things take time of course, so nothing is going to happen quickly, but I am optimistic and excited, nonetheless.

For the month of May I am going to concentrate on getting some repairs done on the house and finish the painting. These things need to be done whether I stay or go, so no time like the present. I haven't been on any more dates or been talking online to anyone seriously. I'm taking a break from it and concentrating on other things. I occasionally get emails and hellos, but that is about it. The one guy I recently went on a date with keeps in touch, but we haven't discussed another date yet. I've been sick and super busy though, so that is probably why. I'm still holding out for my fairy tale. That happens, right? PFFFT!

A month and a half until my 2-week vacation! Woohoo! Oh, that's another thing, if this move happens for me, I will have enough money to start doing some of the traveling I've always wanted to do! Wouldn't that be COOL? Well, I think so. :-) I've certainly paid my dues!

Things are getting VERY interesting around here!

Sorry I've been a blog slacker; I'm working 7 days a week right now and still fighting this virus or whatever it is. I haven't been able to sit down and write with the whirlwind of activity going on and the possibilities surrounding me at the moment. I promise to write about it sometime tomorrow morning, OK? I know you are on the edge of your seat.

Fun Book

First, a reader of mine now has her own blog, so let's hear it for "A Green Guitar"! There is also a link on her site that I have been stalking called "June Bug on a String", which is a great site also!

I am suddenly inspired to read this book because, well, it will be obvious why:

"Divorce is never easy, and fortysomething Nikki finds herself unwillingly thrust into a major identity crisis. She was happy being a housewife and mother in an upscale neighborhood of Colorado Springs and thought all was well until her husband takes off, and the family house blows up. As she slowly comes out of the fog of divorce, Nikki realizes she needs a job and a place to live, then has to face the clash with her old way of life: her fancy friends can't understand her waitress job: they eat in restaurants, they don't work in them. Nikki veers away from her now strained relationships, makes new friends, and enters the world of dating. As Nikki tries to find herself, her old dream of making perfume as a business instead of a hobby infuses her with purpose, but is she willing to take a risk? With great insight Samuel explores the many problems facing newly divorced women and offers hope and inspiration in the form of one gutsy heroine. Patty Engelmann Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved. "

The part that says "and the family house blows up" just made me laugh. That seems so appropriate to me at this point in my life. Now, I wasn't a housewife, mother (except my stepson) or "upscale" by ANY means, but the starting over and taking risks inspires me. I am currently in the middle of going in a completely new direction. I am applying for positions at my company's new sites, which are all out of state. We will see what happens.

I need to be well now.

I'm tired of being sick. I've had a sore throat for a week. That's not normal, is it? I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Very, very overwhelmed.

Food and Mowing Woes

Did some work remotely on my laptop today because I just didn't feel like driving in. I pulled the Friday night and Saturday night shifts (and I'm on salary), so they can deal with it. I also mowed the front lawn and picked some weeds. My body hates me right now. The stupid lawn mower is a huge pain in the ass. The grass gets all mucked up in it, and then it dies. I empty the bag and have to clean it out about every 20 steps. It's maddening! THEN it takes approximately 15 minutes to get the damn thing restarted. My neighbor felt sorry for me and came and helped. I was close to tears after I ran out of cuss words. LOL. Got it done, though, and yay me! The picture of me is right before I started mowing. Yes, I mow in pig tails. That has to be the dumbest picture of me ever, but oh well. I'm starting to show my age. Shit.

The other pictures are of my diet food that I had tonight (marsala chicken, green beans and carrots) and the dinner I had last night of spicy shrimp with my mom at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I only ate about 5 bites of the refried beans. My cholesterol has to be about a million with all the shrimp I eat. The real tragedy here though is that I love to cook, and I never do it anymore. I microwave my diet food or go out. One of these days when I have a spare 20 minutes, I should make something nice. However, it just seems pointless anymore.

I still have a sore throat and a cough. Mercy.

I need a bed for my office.

Since I pretty much LIVE THERE. I wish I could bring the doggies with their little doggie beds, too. Of course, they frown on that in medical facilities. Bah!

So here is my office with the TV-size monitor and yes, I keep it THAT dark. I HATE fluorescent lighting; it gives me headaches. Dark is calming and soothing in a crazy and frustrating environment. Shut up about the pizza, salad and root beer to the right, it was free, OK? I worked Friday night and on Saturday for 5 hours and I have to go in tomorrow. UG. At least I'm needed. 

I am feeling better today, just tired with a slight sore throat. I did cough all night long, though, so I am not getting enough rest. If it keeps up, I PROMISE to go to the doctor and get cough medicine.

One more thing. I am very proud of my mother. We were driving today, her at the wheel, and I was giving her crap about her driving.

Me: (holding onto the ceiling of the truck for stability) "Are we late for something?"
Mom: No, this is just how I drive.
Me: Why don't you slow down a bit?
Mom: Why don't you shut the fuck up?

The apple doesn't far fall from the tree. LOL.

Deathly ill.

So yesterday I couldn't keep any food down and my chest hurt so bad I honestly thought I was having a heart attack and almost went to the emergency room. I left work a little early and everyone was pissed that I drove home. (I'm stubborn). My blood pressure was way up too because I was freaked. Today I'm not having chest pains, but my throat hurts so bad I can barely swallow. Had soup for dinner after I got home at 9 frigging PM from work. You see when I get deathly ill, work is insanely busy and everyone is on vacation. I'm on call tomorrow night and have to go in over the weekend. I am the only one to cover so if I'm conscious, I have to go. Lucky me. Gah.

Meeting at Headquarters

So tonight, a lady I work with asked for a ride and in exchange said she would buy me a drink to thank me. I said OKAY! On the way she made a few calls to see if some of our other coworkers wanted to join, but all she said to each one was, "Meeting at Headquarters". I've now learned that a local bar and grill is "headquarters" and many of my coworkers who live downtown apparently have frequent "meetings" there. LOL. This was my first meeting. We were the only two girls, and a few other guys came several minutes later. Now mind you, these are all scientists and technical people, so they drink a lot but talk shop. Before I wanted to stab my eye with a fork, I decided to "liven up" the conversation. I have a few tricks. I made an "L" with my thumb and index finger, raised it up and said, "Did you know that the length of a man's penis can be determined by length from the tip of his thumb to the tip of his index finger?" What ensued next was absolutely hysterical and works EVERY TIME. ALL the men made their "L" at the SAME TIME and intently stared at it. Some started comparing their "L's" and I heard quite a few, "That's CRAP!" and "There is NO WAY that is true!" statements. To one of the guys I said, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." ROFLMAO! Consequently, we had the attention of the entire place as I laughed until tears were coming out of my eyes. I can't help it. This went on for at least 20 minutes, I shit you not. The women at the place were all laughing and putting THEIR "L's" up to their forehead; the signal for "Loser". This is quite entertaining.

A short time later I brought up some trivia that started an hour long conversation carnival. I said "You know, I found out the other day that the definition of Sodomy includes oral sex." This really freaked them out. "WHAT? NO! IT DOES NOT!" I told them to look it up. They all got out their iPhones and Blackberries and whatnot and LOOKED THE DEFINITION UP. One guy actually used the voice command to look up the definition on his phone, so yes, he spoke this into his phone IN PUBLIC, and loudly because it was a noisy place, "DEFINITION FOR SODOMY". OMG, I freaking ROLLED. They discovered in fact, that I was right, and things were just too much fun after that.

Needless to say, I am now the CEO at headquarters and am required to attend every meeting. ;-) Oh and I didn't have to pay for a thing.