First Day

I'm so exhausted. First day was overwhelming. I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water at the moment. Working at a big company in downtown Seattle is a WHOLE lot different than working at a small private company on the cush, slow-paced Eastside. I have my own office (yay!), but I don't have a view. Yet. And I have to walk about a mile to the building from where I have to frigging park. Today it was rainy and windy. BUT I have a job (a good one) and I'm VERY thankful.

Yes, Juice, the commute sucks, and no, Nichole I don't work at Fred Hutchinson. I'll tell you where I work if you email me, I need to be careful on the blog these days.

Once I figured out what floor I work on, I then got stuck in the bathroom. There is good smelly lotion in there and after I washed my hands, I put some on. I then could not open the door with the big heavy round knob. I had to use my shirt to get it open, and even then, it took me a few minutes. Yeah, I'm doing great! What a loser. LOL.

I am now enjoying a LARGE adult beverage. Nighty night.

Aaaahhh!

Holy shit I'm overwhelmed! Breathe in, breathe out. Calm. I can do this.

Parking Lot Blogging

I'm sitting in the grocery store parking lot blogging. I did not get, nor intend to get groceries. I'm not sure why I'm here. I am smoking a cigarette (shut up) and drinking a flat Pepsi left over from lunch. Yes, this is who you are reading.

My last day at my contract job today was a little sad. I wouldn't have thought it would be, but I actually made a friend I will miss. I was only there 3 months, but it was pretty cool. I am starting a job tomorrow a little unlike anything I've ever done before. It's in the city, it has more than 50 employees, and it is Biotech. (I previously was in medical device.) I need to put my 'A' game on, and I guess that is why I'm nervous. It is exciting, too, but my life has been a bit topsy turvy and I need to make sure I am focused.

3 Day Headache

We've rolled around to Monday again and I have 6 gazillion things to do before Wednesday. Ug. I have had a 3-day headache and am going to try and get in to see my Chiropractor today because I think it has to do with my back and neck. I'm a violent sleeper.

We had some excitement at the CrazyDogMama household this past weekend. Two young guys were causing trouble in my front yard destroying property and yelling and fighting. One guy was trying to restrain the other who was clearly either drunk or hopped up on drugs. Totally out of control. I called 911. The cops came and surveyed the damage, but the boys were long gone by the time the fuzz arrived. Crap! My neighborhood is going to shit. I hate that.

Nervous about the new job.

Sometimes I just don't know what to say on this stupid thing. It's true, I'm kind of a sad person, and I rollercoaster all over the place, but I've experienced a lot of loss. Loss of family, loss of friends, loss of a job and loss I can't even explain. Loss I've not talked about. I've done things I'm not proud of, and I've experienced betrayal and deceit. Some days I get through just fine and smile and laugh, and others I just curl up in a ball and don't talk to anyone. I guess that's normal. But it doesn't feel normal. What do you do when you can't seem to get over something and can't snap out of a funk? I've been to therapy. Sick of that. I'm just praying now. I'm starting my new job on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous. So much change in such a short amount of time. This is some serious bullshit rambling, huh? I butchered the poor dog. I feel so sorry for the poor little guy. He looks really silly.

Uncooperative

Putting the crazy back in CrazyDogMama. I'm grooming Louie today. I want to kill someone. He doesn't cooperate. AT ALL. There is hair EVERYWHERE.

I needed a drink.

Aaaaahhhh. Amaretto Di Saronno.

Office Project

Holy crap, what a complete mess. My office is a train wreck, much like my emotional stability of late. It is time to tackle this monster. I have NEVER in my life been this disorganized and messy. I'm usually the one people are calling to help them out with THEIR mess. Well, I can't stand it any longer!

My little life lessons/wisdom.

These aren't really that unique, but what the hell.

1. Expect the unexpected. The weirdest shit happens to me right out of the blue. SERIOUSLY.
2. The littlest thing can impact your life forever in a big way. And you won't necessarily know it until much later.
3. Cool earrings make all the difference in the world. I went a long time without wearing any earrings at all, then I started to again, and they change your whole appearance.
4. Someone will always find out.
5. My hairstylist told me that she took a poll, and most women think straight hair on women is more attractive and most men think curly hair is more attractive on women. I have naturally curly hair, and with this knowledge I still straighten my hair most days. Go figure.
6. Candles DO change your mood.
7. Hearing someone call someone else a 'stupid motherfucker' is funny. It just IS.
8. Writing in a blog can cause all KINDS of trouble.
9. If you really look, you can see that something good always comes out of something bad. I challenge you to look back on your own life and find this.
10. It is true that if you really love someone, their happiness becomes more important than your own.

There is no point in going over it all.

It is crisis after crisis around here. I'm not talking about breaking fingernails either, I mean REAL problems. Sometimes life and death ones. Thank God I'm calm in a crisis. I break down later, like yesterday. 8 hours of crying. Fun shit. But then it's over and I get back to work. It is that or a padded room, you know? (Sometimes the padded room sounds pretty good though.)

I've still got froggy throat and now a big UGLY fever blister on my lip. I look sexy, let me tell you. My head is starting to feel thick, too. Super.

The good news? It is time to go home. Buh bye.

Sometimes waking up is a waste of time.

I swear. I was going out to my car this morning and what do I find? The neighborhood teenagers have kicked my fence over AGAIN, but this time they destroyed the cemented post, so now it cannot be fixed. This makes my blood BOIL. I didn't do that kind of shit when I was young, toilet paper a house maybe, but not destroy property. If you see something on the news about a psychopathic woman running around in a Leatherface mask shooting teenagers with a BB gun, you'll know it's me. I'll plead insanity.

Frog

The lymphnodes in my neck are swollen and bulging, and I'm all froggy sounding. Actually, I sound like the demon in The Exorcist. What the hell? Laryngitis? I don't talk much, so it must be viral. Neat.

Happy Birthday, Amy!

Party Pics!

My friend Amy's birthday party bash. We talked, we drank and then they went to a piano bar, and I didn't go because I'm lame and wanted to go to bed.

Cherylisms

Before we begin, I have to define the Cherylism. "Creep Factor" is what makes a horror movie good. It means disturbing, brutal, disgusting or really unnerving. It is when you can leave the theatre and say, "That was fucking awesome".

OK, so now, how was "Friday the 13th"? Well, it wasn't bad, but it was lacking the Creep Factor. Even though nothing scares me, I need to feel something. It was entertaining, but I wasn't disturbed.

I finally got around to watching the "Saw" movies, which no one can believe it took me this long. I watched the first one and wasn't all that impressed except that it had a good twist. Much later I watched the second one and liked it, but it didn't have a rich enough Creep Factor for me, so I stopped watching them. Just last weekend I watched "Saw III". Awesome! GREAT Creep Factor! SO brutal! Loved it. You definitely have to watch the unrated version though. "Saw IV" was pretty good too and now I'm going to watch five this weekend.

I got the job!

OK, so HERE'S the news: I NAILED THAT JOB I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SINCE LAST OCTOBER! Woohoo! The one I interviewed the first time for last November when I was in California. It took a number of interviews (including a five-hour face to face one!) and I received the offer letter last Wednesday. They were VERY thorough and picky, and I feel very honored that they chose me. I also feel blessed to get such a job in the state of the union. I gave notice at my contract job, which I felt terrible about yesterday. So, I can talk about it now. I was offered more money than I've EVER made with incredible benefits (no more Cobra!) and I will be working toward a goal that is near and dear to my heart, targeting cancer. My grandmother died of breast cancer.

I start the 25th in the heart of downtown Seattle on the waterfront not far from the Space Needle. It is in an area known as "Belltown". The commute will be a BITCH, but I am so excited. It will be a very challenging job for me, but I'm going to give it my all.

OK, Valentines Day. I'm going to go see the "Friday the 13th" remake. YAY! Full report when I get back, it looks well made. I am sick and twisted, aren't I? One minute I'm posting Bible verses, and the next talking about horror movies. LOL! That's me. Love me or don't. ;-)

Friday the 13th

I have to do something today that I have been dreading. Something I'm not good at but has to be done. Wish me luck with my words. I will need it. And of COURSE, it's Friday the 13th. Who wants to do a martini lunch? Oy.

Important Quote

Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

I don't usually post quotes from the Bible, but I am today. I read this, this morning, and it really stuck in my head, especially the "Let us not lose heart in doing good" part. It is so easy to lose heart, to give up, to stay pissed off. But it's not worth it. Carrying around anger and resentment only hurts YOU. It is an awful way to live. I gave that up a while ago, and while I still struggle with depression, I feel free of those other destructive emotions. Sure, I get grumpy like anyone else, but I'm not angry anymore. I spent MANY years hauling around that burden, and take it from me, it is NOT worth it. No good can come from it. Even to those that have hurt me I am trying to do good for, and it is quite redeeming. Not in a egotistical or smug way, but an honest and compassionate way. I like it much better.

Words to Live By

I was sent these little sayings yesterday, and at the moment they mean a lot to me.

1. Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, but also love the ones who don't because you CAN! Love can change people.
2. Believe everything happens for a reason, because it does!
3. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
4. If it changes your life, let it!
5. Kiss slowly.
6. Forgive quickly.
7. God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

Hello Blog Family!

I'm all giddy today. Don't faint. Things are looking up and certainly getting exciting around here. Some big changes for me and unique opportunities are afoot!

For Valentine's weekend I'm going to go see the new remake of "Friday the 13th" (so romantic!) and go to a friend's birthday party. So, it's not sounding all that bad. Maybe February is finally changing for me!

Some funnies.