Best. Card. Ever.

I absolutely ROLLED when I found this card. It is totally something I would say! Sarcasm at its finest.

I'm not sending Christmas cards out this year, but if I did, this is the one you would get. So, consider this your Christmas card. MERRY CHRISTMAS, bitches!

I am very proud of my mom and I!

My mom and I have been laughing all night instead of crying! My dad would be VERY happy about this.  So, we went to Walgreen's earlier, and I farted a little in the store, then grabbed my mom by the arm and hurried us right down the aisle so that no one would know it was me. We were trying not to laugh, but we aren't the most subtle in these situations. Now we're drinking spiked eggnog and God only knows what will happen. Good times.

No one cares what you had for lunch.

A less depressing entry. So, here's my lunch. It's Mongolian beef with veges. It was GOOD. I believe there is a book out there about blogging called "No one cares what you had for lunch". While that is good advice, I'm going to show you anyway because that's how I roll. Don't you think, though, that if they don't care about what you had for lunch, chances are they probably don't care about your cat or your dog or your kids either? I think you are all THRILLED to know what I had for lunch.

The other sad little blurry picture is my fortune. It says, "Your lover will never wish to leave you." Well, wishing and doing are two different things, cookie. Just sayin'.

I need a little extra love today.

This day last year my dad died. It has been very hard for me, as we were very close. This day haunts me because it does something to your soul when you watch someone you love take their last breath. I miss him so very much. There is so much I wish I could talk to him and tell him about. I need his advice. Christmas was his favorite time of year, and he was like a little kid. I don't know how to feel today, except sad.

I have a new bed partner.

Have I ever told you about Mr. Bear? I haven't? Well, I hate to admit it, but I am sleeping with a stuffed bear. Yes, I am 4 years old. Well, sometimes I feel like it; it can be scary at night! Haha.

My mom bought him for me when we went to Disneyland, and I love him! He is the bear on the Grizzly River Ride. I kept picking him up and putting him back down, and she decided I needed him. There is still a little girl in me, and my mom obviously knows that. He's a hand puppet, too! How cool is that?

I am into earrings lately; I don't know why.

But here are the latest dangly ones.

Just got word of a windstorm coming in Friday, some snow over the weekend and temperatures in the teens and low 20's. YIKES. Come hell or high water, though, Juice, Hole and I are getting our facials Saturday night. Right girls?

Jasmine Diffuser Reeds

Jasmine diffuser reeds make my office smell good. My office smells weird otherwise. It's not me.

Obsession is my routine.

Just to clarify, routine is not my obsession, but obsession is my routine. It didn't sound clear to me. I hate routine and wouldn't want anyone thinking I was obsessed with it. LOL!  My obsessions are much more exciting than that, I think.

Doesn't get more exciting than this.

Good morning. This is me drying my hair. The end. I do the same things every day and think about the same things every day. Routine obsession. I think that's what I'll call it.

Tape is the secret.

Here is my first wrapped present. It only took me an hour. I can cook an entire Christmas dinner faster, easier, and with less cursing. That sucker has a BUTTLOAD of tape holding it together. People tend to get frustrated opening my presents. I'm tired now.

Speaking of cooking, I want to make this citrus-marinated flank steak with roasted peppers, with something other than rice, sometime this week. Doesn't that sound good? Who's coming to dinner?

Daily CrazyDogMama.

I know you set your clocks for these silly little daily pics of me. I'm not super interesting, so this is all I can come up with. You can only do so much with a phone camera. Tell me you love them.

Blogging can be lonely. I use it as sort of a diary of what I was doing and when, but it is also supposed to be interactive, which mine lacks most of the time. I have to admit, though, I've met some GREAT people thru this process. It has been unexpectedly meaningful. It is interesting to see your life evolve (or not) and it can come in handy for remembering the dates of events. I also keep a private encrypted journal for stuff I can't talk about in public. There is some SERIOUS stuff in THAT journal. I can't even IMAGINE what would happen if that went public. YIKES. Anyway, happy blogging and blog-reading today.

What has happened to customer service?

Talk about cranky, I feel like choking the shit out of the guy that I just ordered a breakfast burrito from. First, I sat there waiting to order (at the little speaker) for 5 entire minutes with no other cars around. Then, no apology for having to wait. I ordered my burrito with extra salsa. When I got to the window, the guy was scowling and glaring at me. He took my money, then practically threw my bag at me. I smiled and said thank you anyway, but nothing from him. Not a single word. No "You're welcome", no "Have a nice day", NOTHING. If I had had time, I would have gone in and complained. I also should have checked my order, because later down the road I discovered there was NO salsa whatsoever, which renders breakfast burritos virtually inedible. It reminded me of the scene in Lethal Weapon 2, "They fuck you at the drive thru!" I'm sorry, but there is NO excuse for behavior like that in customer service. Maybe his cat died or something, but I wanted to punch him in the neck. He was a greasy little asshole, too. I hope that's not the way this day is going to go.

How I've been losing weight is a mystery.

OK so I didn't have lamb. I picked up a take 'n bake pizza and had it on a PAPER PLATE. The horror. LOL.

It's been awhile, so I agreed to it.

1. What time do you get up?
4:30 am

2. What time do you go to bed?
When (if) I get tired. It varies.

3. Do you like your job?
I feel DAMN lucky to have one right now. People are in trouble all around me. So YES.

4. What is your favorite show?
I love 'True Blood', 'Lost' and '24'.

5. If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?
Something romantic.

6. Where is your favorite place?
I've never really been anywhere, so right now I guess California. Or in bed.

7. What are you having for dinner?
Probably lamb and veges.

8. What makes you angry?
When people don't listen to me, or are mean to me, and stupid drivers.

9. What do you long for?
No comment.

10. Do you have a secret talent?
Yes.

Lunch Workout?

I should start working out at lunch again, that makes the pounds melt away, and I want to keep going! My boss works out at lunch and so I'm going to go over and take a look at his gym.

Espresso Truffle

I have found the QUEEN MOTHER of all coffee drinks. You'll never guess where. Starbucks! That's right, stupid on every corner Starbucks. It's called "Espresso Truffle". It is FOUR different kinds of chocolate with espresso. I told my friend it was "orgasmic", and she told me, "You need to get laid". LOL. Now while that may be true, it is still a damn fine cup of coffee. ;-)

Alone in the Dark

The Fuse & Wicked Game

"The Fuse" by Bruce Springsteen is a great song. Sexy and sultry with interesting lyrics. I love how expressive some music is when it can really strike an emotion or put into words how you are feeling or want to feel. What would we do without music?

Then there is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. Talk about mood music. I know I've talked about it before, but this song does something to me. It really does.

What should I have for dinner?

What are you having for dinner? I could make something, but what? I haven't been eating at home very much. What sounds good? If you could have ANYTHING to eat right now, what would you want? Leave a comment, I'd like to know!

Done.

I am basically done with all my Christmas shopping. It is December 7th. Is that not awesome? It's a little sad in a way, but now I can relax. I'm usually the one scrambling at the last minute. All I have left to do is some stocking stuffers and then wrapping. Wrapping sucks. I hate wrapping. Wrapping hates me, too. I'm very impatient when I know it's just going to be ripped open; kind of like making a bed. What's the point? Bags. Decorative bags are the way to go. OK I got off on a rant, sorry about that.