Here we go again.

The very familiar trip of 22 hours of driving 80 mph, creepy rest stops, and fast food. I'm stocked up on Rock Stars and Vivarin, and I've already had a triple iced mocha. When I WANT to be sleepy and tired, I can't get that way, but when I DON'T want it, I'm yawning all over the place with heavy eyelids. Figures. My mom is already irritated at me because I'm late. I can't help it, I'm not a morning person. AT ALL.

Just Breathe

One minute I'm fine, and the next minute I'm freaking out. Not knowing things drives me nutty. I've learned to embrace change, but I want to know WHAT the change is. My lack of patience doesn't help. I can't seem to concentrate. I'm in sort of a trance, like 'whatever'. This is big stuff. Everything going on in my life is big stuff. I knew I was at a crossroads; I just didn't realize how big of deal it was going to be. There is also big stuff going on in the world, and all of it combined for me seems a little overwhelming. Just breathe, I tell myself. You can do this. There have been some interesting developments for me; I'll share when I can. For the next week, however, I think I'm just going to try and concentrate on sun and fun with my mom. I'll be leaving quite early, so stay tuned for all my silly blogs.

Roadtrip

Aahh! I'm leaving for California in less than 24 hours, and you wouldn't believe everything I have to do. Have I packed? Of course not! Also, I can't believe how much not having a home computer is making my life difficult, especially RIGHT NOW when I need it the most! Anyone have a grand I could borrow?

The Refiner's Fire

OK, really, I'm trying NOT to stress. There is nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself this. I honestly can't say much (non-disclosure stuff), but I may be laid-off before the end of the month. It would have nothing to do with my performance, but the economy/market. I have no idea what I will do because the job market sucks right now, and my field is very narrow. I really do believe things happen for a reason (when it is beyond your control) so I'm trying to think of it as fate, whatever happens. With everything I've gone through in the last year, it kind of feels like a sucker-punch, but maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. Who knows. It is the not knowing that is the worst part.

I have never been without a job. I have never collected unemployment. I haven't had more than 2 weeks off in a row since I was 16 years old, and I'll be 37 in November. I don't know how to feel right now. My whole life has gone AWOL in the last year. Guess it was time to shake things up! It is amazing to me how so many things can happen in such a short amount of time, and how the littlest things can throw your life off balance. I have recently experienced feelings I don't know what to do with, and emotions I didn't know existed. I've had many sleepless nights and panic attacks. Now that I've learned how to deal with all of that, I think I may be ready for whatever it is I was being prepared for. The refiner's fire?

Beauty is pain.

Just call me Blondie! It glows in the dark. Hehe. In the pic where I look like a sheep dog from Outerspace, that is the front of my face. I had to sit with my hair over my face (with foils in it), for like, 3 hours. Beauty is pain.

Naked in the Jungle

Wow, have I had a bad day. I won't be able to talk about it until I know more, but it could really impact my life, and soon. Seriously. Talk about your life being upside down, I'm already out of my comfort zone from some other big things happening in my life, and this would really put me out there naked in the jungle so to speak. Dang.

I am going to go use my salon gift certificate to get my hair done. I'm in a major haze right now and my mind is going a billion miles an hour. I guess you could say that 2008 was the year Cheryl got her ass kicked up one side and down the other. The year of change. I'm facing a great many unknowns at this time about my future. I mean, no one knows what the future really holds, but I can't say with any degree of confidence that ANYTHING in my life will be the same come 2009.

The Best Things In Life

A good night's sleep.

Laughing so hard your tummy hurts.

A hot shower on a cold morning.

Warm, fresh cookies (or cinnamon rolls) from the oven.

A kiss that makes your heart skip a beat.

A call from an old friend out of the blue.

Helping someone.

Waterfalls.

Smiling at someone, and they smile back.

Playing with a puppy.

A kind word.

Someone running their fingers through your hair.

The smell of the ocean.

A really fun rollercoaster.

Making new friends.

Good wine (and someone great to share it with).

Colorful sunsets and clear starry nights.

Diving into a warm pool at night.

A really good meal.

Good coffee.

Good conversation.

Finishing a project you worked hard on.

Massages (giving AND receiving).

Taking a risk.

Being really super sappy on your dumb blog.

I need cinnamon rolls.

I am craving cinnamon rolls. I just finished watching "Two and a Half Men" and Charlie was attempting to open a tube of cinnamon rolls and ever since I have had cinnamon rolls on the brain. I need them. NEED. Have I mentioned that I want hot, gooey cinnamon rolls? I really want a fucking cinnamon roll. But I don't want to get up. Sometimes living far from the store sucks.

Did anyone catch "Big Bang Theory" tonight? Funny. They didn't have cinnamon rolls though. I could die if I don't get one. I am going to go to bed now and dream of cinnamon rolls.

Monday Tidbits

I saw a grown man, perhaps 40-ish, running down the highway this morning. RUNNING. With a briefcase that he was swinging spastically; tie flying sideways. I laughed. It was funny looking. Nothing is so important that I would run down the highway like that. But that's just me. No one was chasing him with a chainsaw or anything.

I am wearing high heels today, and one of the heels got stuck in the thread of the carpet and I fell up against my cubical wall almost knocking it down. (Karma for laughing at the poor business guy?)

Have you seen the movie "Forrest Gump"? Do you remember how he said "Jenny"? (JEN-NAY in the Forrest Gump voice.) My co-worker (and friend) is named Jenny and I love to say her name like Forrest. She LOVES it when I do that. Not. "JEN-NAY can you help me with the cop-eee-err?" I crack myself up. She is not amused. She might hit me next time.

I went and got a Bonzai Burger from the Red Robin restaurant today at lunch. I got it 'to go' and ate it in my car. How sad is that?

I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in my new coat. I will be sending it back. Why is it never the other way around? (Like a coat that makes me look like a super model.) Sheesh. Seriously, I looked funny. I'm stylin' in my new purple baby-doll top, though. I've sent back many things and kept a few. I'm proud of myself. A little.

I'm getting my hair cut/colored tomorrow. I am tossing around the idea of buying a coffee and replacing the coffee with wine while I get my hair done. All sneaky moto. Not because I'm an alcoholic, but because getting your hair-colored takes FOREVER and it is not exciting. They let you drink on an airplane, why not a salon?

Darkest just before the dawn.

I think I have figured out why I can't sleep. I wish it was as simple as too much caffeine. It is always darkest just before the dawn. I'm bracing myself.

The Final Result

Baked ham in a brown sugar glaze. So yummy. Someone else can do the dishes.

Ham, Dogs, and Dirty Dishes, Part 2

Ham, Dogs, and Dirty Dishes, Part 1

I have dogs to feed, dishes to do, and ham to cook. I will have ham coming out of my ears, but it sounded good. Pairing it with garlic mashed potatoes & asparagus. I've been battling another damn headache today. I don't know what is up with me and the headaches lately. I think I need to go to the chiropractor. He is not a typical chiropractor, he only adjusts one bone in the neck, and you don't feel a thing! The technique is called "NUCCA", and it is a pure miracle from Heaven. I only have to visit him about every six months instead of twice a week at a regular chiropractor that doesn't fix the root of the problem. It used to scare the living crap out of me when they would yank my head around. Forget that!

Speaking of TMI

I DO use restraint in case you were wondering. You wouldn't believe what I'd REALLY like to say. But I can't tell you EVERYTHING that goes through this mind of mine, or everything that is going on in my life. There is indeed some mystery and secrecy to me that will never come out on the blog, sorry. That's too personal.

Cognac & TMI

Just took a nice hot shower and now I'm relaxing with a glass of cognac. I'm a little bored. I've been a little bored all day. I couldn't even come up with something interesting to blog about. I still can't. Had pot roast for dinner. I may watch that Jodie Foster movie where she is a vigilante or some such shit.

I sort of had a sex dream last night. Too much info? That's me, TMI girl. I just say what you WANT to say, but don't. I'll spare you the details.

House Loop

So far today I've gone from the bed to the frig to the couch, on repeat. It's like a house loop. I'm running out of places to go. And you wonder why I get excited about road trips.

Scary Man

One of my Halloween props. I call him "Scary Man". He's animated. You guys think I'm weird, huh?

I am actually IN bed right now blogging on the Crackberry without my glasses on. Lou is cuddled up next to me and keeps looking up at me wondering what the hell I'm doing. I would love to know what goes on in his little fuzzy head. It's probably something along the lines of "Put that damn thing down woman and scratch my belly!"

This time next week I'll be driving thru Northern California! I get very little to look forward to, so I get excited about dumb stuff.

A little diversion.

I got permission to take a few days off to go to California. Yay! I don't really want my mom to drive down alone this time of year, and she has to go down for some estate matters, so we're making the road trip together in her little truck. It will be a little cramped, but we'll get some good girl-time in. We're leaving next Friday, then I have to fly back on Wednesday. It's not a long trip, but we always drive straight through, which will at least give me 4 days of sunbathing and swimming! I guess I'll be a tan vampire this year. LOL. It was very warm there in the last week, in the 90's. It is pouring down rain here. This will give me a nice little diversion from my routine.

Also, I have to mention that I am having MAJOR hot flashes today. What is up with THAT?

State of the Union

I just woke up with a start and felt compelled to write this. The situation facing our nation is very serious. I am not afraid, nor is this what "keeps me awake" at night. I am just here to warn you that things are very precarious, and to prepare the best you can for the inevitable crash. If you pray, I would do it now.

I will be biting necks.

I just bought a vampire costume for my Halloween Party. I got a black hooded velvet cape, some realistic glue-on fangs (doesn't affect talking and eating) and some blood-red lipstick. My house will be decorated to the hilt, too. I still know how to have fun. Damnit.