The Refiner's Fire

OK, really, I'm trying NOT to stress. There is nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself this. I honestly can't say much (non-disclosure stuff), but I may be laid-off before the end of the month. It would have nothing to do with my performance, but the economy/market. I have no idea what I will do because the job market sucks right now, and my field is very narrow. I really do believe things happen for a reason (when it is beyond your control) so I'm trying to think of it as fate, whatever happens. With everything I've gone through in the last year, it kind of feels like a sucker-punch, but maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. Who knows. It is the not knowing that is the worst part.

I have never been without a job. I have never collected unemployment. I haven't had more than 2 weeks off in a row since I was 16 years old, and I'll be 37 in November. I don't know how to feel right now. My whole life has gone AWOL in the last year. Guess it was time to shake things up! It is amazing to me how so many things can happen in such a short amount of time, and how the littlest things can throw your life off balance. I have recently experienced feelings I don't know what to do with, and emotions I didn't know existed. I've had many sleepless nights and panic attacks. Now that I've learned how to deal with all of that, I think I may be ready for whatever it is I was being prepared for. The refiner's fire?