I'm the biggest sap on the planet.

I've been a serious couch potato today watching movies. What movies did I watch? Sad ones. Because that's a great way to make yourself feel better. Not. One of the ones I watched was "Titanic", one of my favorites. It really is a good flick, Jim likes it, too. I aways cry at the end, of course. This was my third sad movie in a row and I'm thinking I need to go put in Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something so I can be normal. OK, that didn't sound right. LOL. Jim will be home soon, so I need to get it together before he checks me into the looney bin. The dogs have been joined to my hip today. They like it when mama is home. They haven't left my side, and they are so faithful to lick my stupid little tears. It was a good day off. Eating, sleeping and laying on the couch watching movies. I've got tomorrow off too, but it will be filled with tasks. Meh.

You like spicy?

I decided on Cajun prawns for lunch. Everybody begs me to make these, they are so good! I used to observe the chefs at the restaurants I worked at, and now I just cook some of the things I remember. It's really hard not to use an entire baguette (bread) to sop up the sauce.

Finally a few days off.

I just woke up, and I am going to figure out something to cook to eat, then probably watch movies all day or something really productive like that. I'm all by my lonesome today so I'm going to stay in my long T-shirt and Husky (dog) slippers. It's cold and rainy, so it's the perfect time to get some much-needed R&R. I'll blog more later if I'm not napping.

May I complain some more, please?

Of course I can, its MY blog! So there. Where do I start? There are so many things bothering me right now; some I can blog about, some I can't, but here is a buttload of the things I am going to vent to you about.

First, I just dropped my SUV off this morning to get some work done on it. Tires, brakes, that kind of stuff. How much is it going to cost? Over $1100! Well, groceries are overrated anyway, right? Crap on a cracker.

Second, my mom just went back to California to put my grandpa into a dementia home and check on my grandma, and, well, she needs surgery and is refusing it. She will die soon. She is aware enough to make her own decisions, and she has decided she doesn't want to go through with the surgery. Terrific. More death. I feel worse for my mom after all she's gone through. When is enough, enough? Seriously?

Third, I wanted to put in for my days off this morning, which would start tomorrow, but my boss is out today. Perfect. I am going to try and get it cleared through someone else, but of course it has to be the hard way for me. Always the hard way. You see my boss is awesome and pretty much lets me do whatever I want because I bust my ass for him. I don't know about others here. If I don't get some days off, I am going to collapse, though, I can tell you that.

I know I am my own worst enemy when it comes to some things, but my life feels completely out of my control right now. One minute I think I'm handling things the right way and doing the right thing, and next minute I feel like I've completely screwed everything up. Don't I make you feel better about your life? LOL. Over the last week and a half, I've lost 11 pounds. I guess that's something good, huh?

Taking some time off to clear my head.

I am going to ask for a 5-day weekend (Thurs thru Mon). I need it. Bad. I'm just sitting here staring at my computer screen. I can't think. I can't get anything done, and I don't care. Yes, it's negative time again. You didn't think I would be all happy-dappy for too long now did you? Silly internet people. You know better than that. One minute I'm singing in my car like I just won the lottery and skipping around the zoo, and the next I'm just waiting for the sweet release of death. (Spare me the 'you are too negative' speeches, please.) That is why this website is not called NormalDogMama, or SaneDogMama, or BalancedDogMama. You want warm and fuzzy? Run. Away. Quickly. Yes, I know, I am big, huge hypocrite. I tell people to go be happy all the time. At least I can admit it. LOL.

Also, my therapist is out of town. At least I've been blogging every day. I can't believe I've been blogging for almost 5 years now. Here is something upbeat for you, I get to meet Yogagirl! Yay! We've been stalking each other from almost the first day I started blogging, and now that she's moved from Texas to Oregon, we finally get to meetup. Speaking of Texas, I thought about moving to San Antonio for a while about a year or so ago. Anyway, I'm starting to not make sense so I'm going to go to the gym and run. I hate running. My boobs flop everywhere, and it makes my back hurt. Peace out.

Zoo Pics

We had a lovely time at the zoo, here is my short photo summary: The hippos were cool, the gorillas look just like I feel, (except they can lay down) and the peacock was beautiful. The zoo took me out my funk for a few hours; animals can do that. Unfortunately, it's back to my reality now of insomnia, thinking too much, and work. Meh.

Fun stuff, then some serious stuff.

Jim and I went to the Zoo yesterday. The ZOO. You know, to visit the relatives. *snort* It was a hoot! We really needed to get out of that house. We haven't been in a long time; I think since my stepson was 6 or so. I remember he wouldn't go into the nocturnal house because it was "too dark", but then he saw a little girl go in, so he got all brave. We went just by ourselves yesterday and held hands as we walked around. It was so sweet. We haven't done that in a long time. I know, AWW. Shut it.

They have a really cool grizzly bear exhibit where you go into this little cave and there is a hole with plexiglass right where the bear feeds. We were really lucky to catch this incredible view! It is really something to have your face about 6 inches from a HUGE Grizzly bear's face. It was spiritual in a way. Looking into his eyes and seeing his teeth and amazing claws right in front of you. His breath steaming the glass and hearing his snorts. The hippos were active, too, and we actually saw the wolves! You never get to see the wolves! (I love wolves.)

I promise some pics tonight or tomorrow. I am fully retarded, though. I have this great camera but forgot my memory storage cards. I only had one card with me, and since my camera is 10 megapixels, it only allowed about 13 pictures on it. DUMB, DUMB! But I did get a couple of nice shots, I just need to fiddle with them a bit in photoshop first.

On to the serious stuff. That happens so rarely on this blog. (Ha.) On Saturday morning I was all weepy. If you've looked on my Flickr account recently, you may have noticed a plant picture, a little tree, actually. It was given to me by a really dear childhood friend and his wife right after my dad died to plant in his memory. It died, too, I noticed that morning. I killed it. I suck so bad with stuff like that. I lost it and bawled my eyes out. Jim didn't know what to do, poor guy. He kept telling me it was OK, but there was no consoling me. It doesn't happen often, but sometimes things affect me greatly and I have the hardest time with them. Anyway, didn't mean to be a downer, but blogging is such a good way to get this stuff out. Happy Monday.

CrazyDogMama's Badass Kabobs

I know I've posted about this before (I think), but kabobs are so sexy and photogenic, that I had to share again. We had this incredible 82-degree day yesterday where I couldn't resist making my kabobs. I know this is not such a hard feat, but we like them. I marinate top sirloin in this crazy-expensive spicy teriyaki sauce, then add Worcestershire sauce, garlic powder and red wine, and soak them for hours. Then, I cut up fresh green pepper, red pepper, cherry tomatoes and red onion along with mushrooms and pineapple chunks. This time I added some jumbo shrimp in jerk seasoning. My tummy is very happy. I paired this meal with a nice cabernet.

What's up with the weather these days? Two days ago, it was like 30 degrees outside! Life is strange. In more than one way.

My New Sunglasses

I know you're thrilled, believe me. But you see, I haven't bought new sunglasses in like, 7 years. It was time. They are different from the kind I usually buy, and they are a little bug-eye, but I like them. Taken just a few minutes ago at my desk, never mind the bed-head or exceptional quality of my cell phone camera.

We're going out tonight (my co-workers and I) to celebrate getting through hell week, and as you know, it's actually sunny and we may sit on the patio. So, these were a total and completely necessary purchase.

I am a blogging machine right now, hold on!

After 8 glorious hours of sleep!

Much better. I woke up in a good mood. Pigs are flying, people. I'm in a rather silly mood this morning, so stay with me here. Today's commute was a little different. Usually, I'm listening to stupid traffic reports or talking on my cell, but screw that! I decided on music instead. I cranked some 70's tunes (shut it) and some other random stuff. At one point I stopped at a light and had "I'm alright", the theme from "Caddyshack", playing by Kenny Loggins, (again, shut it) and I was SINGING along with it. Two guys drove up beside me and looked over. One of them was sacked out drooling into his coffee cup (which made me laugh) and the other was smiling and laughing at me. I waved. He waved back. I continued to sing. I'm thinking it will be an interesting day.

Can you say zombie? I knew you could.

I am an actual zombie today. I only got about, oh, maybe an hour of sleep, and I've worked 2 weeks straight in row with no weekend. It's neat. I love it. People kept asking me every 5 minutes, "What's up with you?" which really made me happy, you understand. Coffee didn't do anything except make me pee more, and I was busy when I thought it was going to start slowing down starting today. The good news is I got my yearly review, and even though I only had one eye open during the meeting, I got tons of praise for a job well done and a bigger raise than I thought! Happy dance! I'll celebrate later. Need sleep. Now.

On a side note, I thought this little snippet was kind of funny. Jim just got home and realized he left a whole plate of food in the microwave and forgot about it, which I found when I got home and put in the sink because it was ruined of course. The conversation went like this:

Jim: Oh man! That pisses me off! I can't believe I did that!
Me: Yeah, it didn't make me happy either.
Jim: Oh, shut it, you get pissed when someone accidentally throws aways a sugar packet. You act like you went through the depression or something.

LOL. OK, so I'm a freak and don't like to waste things. Sue me.

Another Stupid MEME

I'm sick of these MEME things, but this one is kind of interesting. Play along if you want. I know how much you all live for them. Oh, and how about all this posting I've been doing lately, huh? Aren't you proud of me?

1. When and where were you born?

November 12, 1971, in Long Beach, California

2. What was your favorite thing to do as a child?

I was really into gymnastics, and I also liked to run around outside getting dirty. I was a tomboy. I loved to swim, too.

3. What is your favorite thing to do as an adult?

Sleep, eat, internet, photography. I still love to swim, too, but I don’t get to do it very often.

4. If you could change something about your life, what would it be?

I’m still in the process of figuring that out. There are lots of things I’d like to change.

5. If you work, do you like what you do?

I work. A lot. It's OK, but it’s not what I dreamed of. At least I get to indirectly help people. My company will sell in a year or two so I will have the opportunity to make changes then, if I want to. I'm kind of sick of working right now. I've been working since I was 16, and the most time off I've ever taken off consecutively is two weeks. HOW SAD IS THAT? I believe I will be kicking up my heels for a while at that point.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people, besides their looks?

Whether or not they have intelligence and sense of humor.

7. If you went to college, when, where and what was your major?

I graduated with a bachelor's degree from the University of Washington in 1993 and majored in Criminal Justice. I went back later (in 2000 and 2001) for certification in Biomedical Regulatory Affairs.

8. What did you have for breakfast?

A chocolate protein shake. I would have rather had eggs benedict.

9. What are your plans for the next weekend?

I don’t really know. I’ve been kicking around going to the Seattle Art Museum to see the Roman Art exhibit from the Louvre. I’m not usually a museum kind of girl, but that sounds interesting to me. Either that or watch TV and eat macaroni and cheese.

10. Where will you go on your next vacation?

Vacation? What is that? If I had the money, I’d like to either go to Bora Bora or do an Israel/Egypt excursion.

Apparently I'm not worthy.

How is everyone on this fine and lovely morning? I'm having delusions of grandeur. Probably from working an INSANE number of hours. Bora Bora is just looking better and better. Annie, how is the ear? Hope you are feeling better girl, we need to bowl. I need a night out BAD.

I'm sitting here at my desk having much success slurping down a HUGE iced mocha with like, 4 shots of espresso in it, and damn it, today I got whip cream. I deserve it! I'm going to be heading back to the gym next week after I can get some sleep. I have taken quite the hiatus from lifting weights, and OMG it shows. Pumping iron always makes me feel better, so I need to get back to it. Apparently, I am negative and cynical. Fuck, who knew? LOL. Yes, it's true, all of you out there in blogland, I am not the happiest person that ever lived, but I think Denis Leary said it best "Life is a series of happy MOMENTS. A chocolate chip cookie or a 5 second orgasm." How true that is. Do you see the island pictured with the amazing water? I'm going there in my head today.

Love is Strong

So, what did I do with all that free time I had this evening? I had a Bloody Mary, listened to music and danced around my kitchen. Oh, and I took stupid pictures. You know, I would LOVE to be a photographer for a living. What fun that would be. Maybe when my company sells, (it's a start-up company) and I have to rethink my life, I'll consider it. In the meantime, I need to take a class or two, or fifty.

Anyway, here is a visual for you. I love the Rolling Stones, and tonight I was blaring "Love is Strong" off of the "Voodoo Lounge" CD. This is what I danced around the kitchen to, trying to be all erotic and stuff. Yeah, I know, try not laugh. But it does have delightfully naughty lyrics:

LOVE IS STRONG

Love is strong and you're so sweet
You make me hard, you make me weak
Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe, we've got to meet

A glimpse of you was all it took
A stranger's glance, it got me hooked
And I followed you across the stars
I looked for you in seedy bars
What are you scared of, baby
It's more than just a dream
I need some time
We make a beautiful team
Beautiful team

Love is strong and you're so sweet
And some day, babe, we've got to meet
Just anywhere, out in the park
Out on the street and in the dark
I followed you through swirling seas
Down darkened woods with silent trees

Your love is strong and you're so sweet
You make me hard, you make me weak
I'll wait for you until the dawn
My mind is ripped, my heart is torn
And love is strong, and you're so sweet
Your love is bitter, it's taken neat

Totally funny, yet totally serious.

What would you say to an officer that pulled you over for not wearing your seatbelt? Me? Tell him you are on your period and your breasts are too sore. Works every time.

In other news, I ended up working Sunday too, after a nice long 12-hour Saturday. I am finally free (for the whole rest of the night!) and I think I'm going to ask for many days off to drink margaritas, my friends. Any joiners? (Nichole, perhaps you could come up early?)

Work

The answer to, "How late are you going to work tonight?" is, "Until my anxiety meds wear off."

The company I work for is doing the first "human implants" with two of our new products on the 12th and 15th of April, which means serious crunch time for me. (We have developed two new medical devices that get implanted in the lumbar of the spine for spinal stenosis.) I'll probably be here until midnight or so tonight trying to get all my paperwork done, and then I'm back again tomorrow. On a Saturday! Wah.

I'm taking a short dinner break right now and catching up on the internet. More poor brain is mush, and my anxiety levels are still raging. Did I tell you that (within 4 months) my dad died, then Jim's dad died, then we found out my grandparents have severe dementia and my mom had to fly to California to help them, then when she brought my grandpa back, he attacked her, and she had to call 911 and they hauled him away. Now my poor mom, who still isn't over my dad dying, is trying to figure out how to get both of her parents in homes, and my grandpa back to California. Thank God she wasn't hurt, but it scared her. (I flew out of bed at 2 am and drove over there.) So, now you know why I'm on meds.

I am trying to find the time to take more pictures, however, and put a few on flickr. Anyway, I'm rambling here and need to get back to work.

I was tagged.

I was tagged by "Whiney Momma", don't blame me.

4 Jobs I've Had:
Waitress
Police Officer
Regulatory Affairs Specialist / Senior Document Control Specialist
Bookkeeper

4 Shows on my TiVo/DVR:
Lost
24
Men in Trees
Two and a Half Men

4 Places I've Been: (this is REALLY exciting)
Washington
California
Idaho
Oregon

4 Favorite Foods:
Fancy Italian Cuisine
Papa Murphy’s Pizza & Big Juicy Hamburgers
Tenderloin Steak & Australian Lobster Tail
Good Chocolate Desserts

4 CD's Recently Listened To:
Forever in Blue Jeans (Neil Diamond)
All the Right Reasons (Nickelback)
More Human than Human (White Zombie)
Saving Grace (Everlast)

4 Things You Can Do to Make My Day:
Leave a nice comment.
Bring me a present.
Give me money.
Tell me I look pretty.

4 People I Tag:
Stick Shaker
Otter
Yogagirl
The Fabulous BriannaNichole

Chicken CPR

This is frigging hilarious. I don't know who was funnier, the woman from Arkansas or Terry Bradshaw. I'm warped, so the whole chicken in the "ICU" (a cardboard box), and then Jay remarking that a cardboard box IS an "Arkansas ICU", just made me roll. Also, the part at the end where the woman says the chicken doesn't appreciate her. LOL.

7 Years ago today.

If you were anywhere near the Seattle area, you got rocked! We had one of the largest earthquakes in the state's history, a 6.8 magnitude. Someone showed me this video the other day where some guys at Microsoft had a webcam going during the quake. It's actually a great capture, and although it seems like a short jolt on the video, it seemed like a millennium when it was happening. It lasted like 41 seconds or something, which is long for a quake. I was walking outside of my work building going to my car to head to the gym. The ground started shaking while I was walking, and it seemed like I was surfing. I grabbed a hold of the top of my car and was praying that the glass from the all-glass building complex I was in wouldn't shatter and impale me. I managed to get my car door open, and DOVE inside. People came running out of the buildings, some screaming, it was a trip! If you experienced it, share your story with me!

Here's the video.

https://youtu.be/c4mFh-I1Epc

What do you have on YOUR refrigerator?

Since my Mother-In-Law is a new widow, she wanted to have and know how to use a gun. Jim and I took care of that and took her shooting last weekend. Quite hilarious, I must say. I hadn't shot my gun (see below) in almost 13 years so I wanted to make sure I still "had it". Woohoo! I do! Killed that target! I was proud of myself and stuck my target on the frig. I know, I have issues.

Sig Sauer Pro 2340: A semi-automatic 40 caliber pistol