Meet "Crazydogmama: Groomer"

So, I called my groomer to schedule an appointment for the pups last Friday. No one answered, so I left a message. I got a call back later that day from a young girl (not my usual groomer) who tells me that they are no longer doing "hand stripping" because of the "carpal tunnel" issue, and would I still like to schedule for a bath? No longer hand stripping? SHIT! Hand stripping is what you have to have done to Cairn Terriers instead of clipping with scissors. It's when you pull out or "strip" all the dead hair out BY HAND. It was impossible to find a groomer to do this because it is so tedious and time consuming - not to mention most groomers don't even know HOW to do it. This means I have to do it. I did it. Poor dogs. Poor CrazyDogMama. My fingers were actually bleeding afterward. The dogs look a little funny, but not too bad. It took four frigging hours. So, now I am pricing out some professional grooming tools online. Grooming table, MARS Coat Handler (a stripping tool helper) and other stuff. VERY EXPENSIVE. Crap. This sucks.

You should have seen it. I set up a scrapbook table in the garage and commenced the stripping of the dogs there. They yowled and whined, and I cussed. All the neighborhood mommies were horrified, I'm sure.

I wonder how many people will google "stripped" and will come here expecting to find naked pictures. Ha!

Louie & Billy

Here is Louie snuggled up to my stepson, Billy. That dog is glued to that kid when he comes to visit. It's like I don't even exist. Impossibly cute.

Nappy-Nap Time

When I'm tired, I'm tired. Here's me catching a few Z's on a bench in downtown Seattle. It was the 80's - hence the stupid-looking sunglasses. Picture courtesy of my mom who thinks I'm certifiable.

More Organizing

Here is my latest project with my neighbor's kitchen. TA-DA! An organized pantry!

The paint and the ceramics, finally!

My new red wall (part of it, anyway - the other part isn't done YET) and my new teacup by Angelheart Designs. Not a very good pic of the new paint, but I'm working on more. The lighting doesn't want to cooperate. Oh, and the blue cushions on the chairs are going away, just in case you thought I didn't know that they look like caca with the red paint.

 

Meltdown

Having one. It's been a stressful and busy week. Too much working, not enough alcohol - ahem - I mean fun. I haven't even had time to blog. How pathetic is that? It looks like I am going to have to go back on my anxiety meds cuz I've had, like, 5 mini-nervous breakdowns this week. Yeah, I almost broke into tears when they didn't have my shade of powder at the makeup store, and I thought the world was coming to end when my husband left my chocolate soy milk out of the refrigerator all night. I cannot make decisions either. I got my nails done on Friday and could not decide what color to have them painted. It was just too much thinking. NEED. DRUGS. I also need a fricking iced mocha and a massage. Maybe an iced mocha with some Baily's Irish creme in it. Hey wait, maybe I'll just drink the Baily's WHILE getting a massage. YEAH! That's the ticket!

Dinner at Crazydogmama's

Had fake eggs with half a Louisiana hot link and a glass of Valpolicella (red wine). I *seriously* need to go grocery shopping. Oh, and, while cooking it, I was shaking my ass to "The Zoo" by The Scorpions. Jim said that if he'd had a dollar, he would have stuck it in my panties.

...and here you were wondering what Crazydogmama did with her kid-less nights...

NOW they do it. GRR.

"We left out all the calories and kept in all the fun!"

The Quiche Controversy

This weekend, I tried to make a Quiche without eggs, without wheat, without gluten and without dairy. I know, I know, most people would be like "eat something else, dipshit". But not me. Let's see, it went something like this:

-Buy gluten-free, wheat-free pie crust mix.

 
-Buy "culinary egg substitute".

 
-Try to find some kind of cheese that is not actually cheese.

 
-Chop up a bunch of vegetables - especially things like jalapeños, so that I won't be able to taste the other stuff.

 
-Make dough. This could be a book in and of itself. I am not a chef. I am barely a cook. After attempting to make this mother-fucking dough, I am considering myself a failure at life itself. I start mixing the ingredients. I realize I am missing 2 important ingredients. Derrr, I can read, Derrr. Send husband out for missing ingredients. Resume mixing all ingredients. Read in directions that dough needs to be chilled for an hour before rolling begins. Think to myself "fuck that, I'm hungry now". Forget doing that part of the directions. Start rolling dough. Cuss a lot because I don't have a rolling pin. Big Derr. Go borrow rolling pin from neighbor. Begin rolling dough. Cuss some more and almost start crying because dough is sticking the rolling pin. Call neighbor and ask why her rolling pin doesn't work. She tells me to use flour on the rolling pin, and that will help with the sticking. I start to use flour. I then start throwing things around the kitchen (while actually crying and wondering why I went off my anti-anxiety medicine) realizing that the whole reason why I bought the gluten-free, wheat-free mix in the first place was because I CAN'T HAVE REGULAR FLOUR. The purpose of the recipe is now moot due to use of regular flour. I continue anyway because my stomach hurts from not eating anything. I can't get the dough to roll correctly. I go back to the directions and read that I am supposed to be rolling the dough between two pieces of saran wrap, not wax paper. I cannot get dough off wax paper without destroying it. Destroy dough and roll into ball again. Decide to just "mush" dough-ball into pie pan with fingers. Satisfied after wanting to commit murder. Dogs are hiding. Pour all of the other shit in the middle and throw in oven for an hour. Eat it. Make husband eat it. Not bad, but husband gave me a "B+". I asked, "Why not an A?" Husband says, "It was lacking presentation". I can live with that.

OK, just one more thing before I go.

I was checking my stats a few minutes ago, and I looked at how people are finding me. Someone googled "Cheryl naked snow pics". OK, who is trying to find naked snow pics of me? Not gonna happen people. That is too freaking cold. LOL!

A Tribute to Our 10th!

Remember I was telling you that on August 27th, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary? Well, here is a little glimpse of that day:



Jim looks so young! He has had a goatee now, forever, so when I look at this it makes me giggle! We didn't end up going ANYWHERE or doing ANYTHING to celebrate. It's bad, I know, but we are saving up for our next Disneyland Trip! 2005 is Disneyland's 50th Anniversary you know!!! Can't wait for the new Space Mountain. I'm seriously jonesing for a trip.

Tantalizing Teas

As you know, I am a hopeless coffee addict, but the time has come for me to drink more tea. In the past I was what you would call a "tea-hater". Well, I'm really trying to become an adult (scary!) and I decided to give the whole tea thing a whirl. Turns out I kinda like it. Go figure. Maybe I should try a brussels sprout one of these days, huh? Anyway, here are some teas that made my A-list recently:

My favorite: Aveda Comforting Tea - It has the BEST sweet aftertaste!

My other favorite: Ginger Yogi Tea. - A mucho-spicy Delight! Good for the tummy.

She's No Lady

My 12-year-old stepson was over this weekend, and he announced the reasons why he cannot practice any of his wrestling moves on the female members of his family:

"Grandma is too old."
"Janet is just a little girl."
"My mom is a lady."
AND...
"Cheryl would just kick my ass."

Good to know where I stand, I suppose. LOL!

I did it! I did it!

I had my first SOY iced mocha today! They're good! After a WHOLE WEEK of no mochas, this was ecstasy in a cup. Oh, and there was no big, fat, hairy spider in it. For a moment there, I thought I was going to save money at the coffee store. Damn.

Late

So, I woke up at 6 am this morning. I am supposed to be up at 5 am. Whoopsie! Called work to say I slept through my alarm. Went back to bed. (You have to make the whole late thing worth it, you know?) Got up at 7 am. Took a shower. Drove to work and got there by 9 am. Something is telling me I need a vacation. My give-a-shit meter seems to be broken. I do take my job seriously, (stop laughing) and am glad to have it, but something is wrong with me lately. Usually, I am the kind of person who will BOLT out of bed and run around in circles when I have discovered that I'm late. When I was little, I used to sleep-walk and my mom would find me in the bathroom at around 2am getting ready for school. When she asked me what in the holy hell I was doing, I would reply "Getting ready. Don't want to be late!". I'm surprised I didn't get strapped to the bed after doing that, like, 6 or 7 times. Now, 15 years later, if I get up at 2 am, it's because I've had too much to drink and need to hurl.

Lou-tude and Magapuke

I totally forgot to tell you about what has been going on with the dogs. My husband, a.k.a. dumbass, decided to go on a "treat" spree. He brought home every flippin' thing you can think of. Dog bones filled with peanut butter, these nasty knee-bone jobs that reek, and pig ears. GROSS. I never feed the hounds this kind of sludge. You may be thinking: "What a sweet, sweet man to do that!" NO. No. Get over that. In less than 24 hours, Louie has growled at me twice when I tried to move his peanut butter bone out the way, (when stepped on, these bones draw blood) and Maggie has puked and crapped EVERYWHERE. In her crate, outside, on the carpet, on herself. She likes to roll on it too. Ironically, Louie has not tried to hump her. (He is usually *incessantly* doing that.) When I came home last night from a nice visit to the gym that ended in a 15-minute sprawl in the hot tub, Maggie of course wanted to greet mama. No bath had been given yet. BLECK.

A Quick Update

I'm still getting all the pics together that I've taken lately to put on the blog. I know I've been promising. Be patient, kiddies. On the nutrition side, this is the latest:

Monday and Tuesday have been non-headache, non-bloating and normal bowel days. I haven't thrown up ONCE!!! You were just waiting to hear that, right? I'm just giddy about it. (It doesn't take much.) I wouldn't say I'm fully "alert" yet - the fatigue still has its claws in me, but it has improved. I was actually in a good mood the WHOLE DAY yesterday. Not just an hour here, and an hour there. Usually it goes like this: Waking up: grumpy as hell. Driving to work: falling asleep. Getting to work: nervous and hoping no one notices I'm late. Actually doing work: REALLY cranky. Lunch: Decent mood as long as I remembered to bring food. Getting off work: Ecstatic. Driving home: Pissed beyond all belief at the amount of traffic. Getting home: Depends on what Jim is doing.

Eats for today have gone as so:

1) Smoothie with fresh blueberries, rice protein powder, vanilla soy milk, packet of Splenda.

2) Green tea and a Zone Bar. (I'm not actually supposed to be eating the Zone Bars, but I'm NOT wasting those expensive little fuckers.)

3) 4oz. of lean beef marinated in red wine, garlic and Worcestershire sauce with grilled green, red, yellow and orange peppers, and onion. Emer'gen C (mixed berry-flavored) energy powder to go in my water.

4) Black organic coffee, Zone Bar and multivitamin.

Planning to have:

5) 4oz lean beef (same as above) with black beans and fruit salsa.

6) "Muscle Milk" protein shake mixed with organic soy milk.

Did I mention that I'm not supposed to have chicken, shrimp or pork? What the hell is THAT about, you ask? Something about the "lectins" in them I'm supposedly "sensitive" to. So, for meat, my choices are: Lean beef, lamb, veal, venison, fresh fish (no shellfish) and turkey.

I've done it. I've become one of "those" people. You know, the EARTH MUFFINS you see in the health food stores and in the organic section of the supermarket? Next thing you know I'll be growing out my armpit hair and wearing Birkenstocks. Ok, I'm not growing out my armpit hair...but Birkenstocks ARE comfortable.

Oh, and for those of you who were wondering: My blood type is B+, NOT O+. Got the results last Friday. Was that a "quick" update??

For all you girlie-girls out there.

My very good friend is a ceramic artist, and I am decorating my newly painted (yet, not FINISHED) kitchen and family room with some of her stuff! I thought I would help her out and plug her website on my blog. It is all reasonably priced and very unique - not to mention she'll do custom work for you. As you know, I am a big fan of the "Sweet Potato Queens" books, and there are tons of "Queen" type designs such as: "Don't bother the Queen", "Queen of the Kitchen", etc. (You can also come up with your own sayings.) Her custom clocks are also fabulous - I am currently saving up for a dog clock! :-D Appropriate for me, no? Anyways, check out her site - Angelheart Designs. If you order something, tell her Crazydogmama sent you - you just might get a discount! I'll post some pictures of the stuff I've bought as soon as I am finished recharging my frigging camera batteries. They always run out JUST when I need them.

Bare with me.

As you can see, I am redecorating my blog. I was sick of the old one. Somehow, I have erased all of my "links" coding, and since I am coding-retarded, it could take a while to get them back up. *sigh* Nothing is ever easy. Thanks to all of you who have complimented the new look. I have much work to do, and I'll be damned if I don't want an iced mocha right now. Hrmph.

Oh, and what is happening to my fellow bloggers? Dooce has checked herself into a psych ward, and Diablo is quitting her blog! No one else is allowed to go anywhere, damn it! What will I do at work? Actually WORK? Bah!

Oh the Agony

This was the magic week that I went to see a Naturopath. She talked with me for about an hour and a half. (What doctor does THAT anymore?) We figured out what was wrong with me. (I know, I know, that is quite a job.) After 2 Godforsaken hours of blood-giving, it turns out I have an intolerance to dairy, eggs, wheat and gluten. Who knew? I was very excited to discover that I didn't need to throw up all the time and play the guessing game "What will my bowels do today?". Then there are the headaches, ringing ears, hives and chronic fatigue - the list goes on and on. Then, it hit me. No more iced mochas, no more bread, no more egg-white omelets. I can't even have Whey protein shakes anymore - they have dairy! Mother of hell. (As quoted from Skwigg) I will be substituting all of those things with soy milk, gluten-free bread products and the like, but really, what a HUGE pain in the freakin' ass. Oh, and did I tell you about DETOXING? Yeah, it's fun folks, let me tell you. I took the day off work today because of it. I called my boss this morning and said, "I won't be coming in today because I'm coming down off iced mochas."