On a Roll

OK, we've seen the BIG hair, how about "rocker" hair? I did ALL the fads. I do cherish the size of my WAIST in this picture, even though it was pre-weight training. Soak it up, kids, we won't be making fun of CrazyDogMama next week.

Choke

How is my morning, you ask? I am choking on my Zone Bar. I was inhaling one a few minutes ago and forgot to grab my water by the water cooler. I got a little piece of the granola stuck in my throat and it made my throat tickle and sent me in to a fit of coughing. This lasted for, say, 10 minutes or so. My eyes were watering, and my nose was running. No one came to my rescue. I did notice, however, that several office doors down the hallway from me were slammed shut. Well, gee, people, sorry to frigging interrupt you! I now have little pieces of mushy Zone Bar all over my office floor. It's gonna be a great day, I can tell! :-D

The Dynasty Bitch

That is what my mom and I call this ridiculous picture of me. It was one of my senior pictures - and you can definitely tell it was the 80's. Check out that hair! and the earrings! Psst...Yogagirl...see what I mean? I am not quite sure what I was trying to accomplish with my look, but oh well. If we can't laugh at ourselves, then, uumm, wait a minute, I'd much rather laugh at other people! One of the reasons my husband and I are so perfect for each other is because we have the grand ability to make fun of just about everyone. At the police academy, where we met, we had a name for everyone based on our observation of them.  For examle, "Tackleberrry", "Mr. Heatmeiser", "Down-Syndrome Guy", etc.  Yeah, we're assholes.

Strange Vibe

OK, there are strange electrons in the air today. I don't know why. Every now and then I get this weird *feeling* that I can't explain. It is not necessarily a bad vibe, but definitely a strange one. Can't put my finger on what it is. It does make me nervous, though. I am going to watch everyone very carefully today, and also watch out for falling meteors. :-D

Aside from the twilight zone, my morning is quite normal. I'm tired, cranky and not in the mood to work. Everything is a mess. I don't have enough coffee to wake me up. I'm not sure the grocery store has enough coffee to wake me up. I don't want a grilled chicken salad; I want a brownie. I would rather take a nap on my lunch break instead of working out. My hair looks like a mop cuz I said "fuck it" this morning. I have no money in my account. I'm wearing the same pants I wore yesterday. (Clean underwear, though.) I forgot my lunch. My car smells like feet. Maybe I should just go home.

Zombie Zoo

Recovering from my weekend, here. After working overtime at my desk job, I survived my work out on Friday with my trainer. She just laughed at me, but she did take it easy on my legs. Instead, she beat my upper body up. Now I can't walk, sit, talk on the phone (arms hurt) or do any movement that involves my abs. I also taught a scrapbooking class until midnight on Friday. Then, on Saturday, my stepson came over and I worked at the restaurant until 12:30 am. On Sunday, we took my stepson home (round trip of 3 hours), went grocery shopping and other errands, ate dinner and crashed. I'm working a 10-hour shift today, then teaching another scrapbooking class tonight until about 11 pm, then it starts all over again on Tuesday at 4 am. What is wrong with me? I go from not getting out of my PJs for 3 days, to running around like a mad woman. I've also been experiencing heart palpitations for the last 2 days. Gee, I wonder why?

I'm an Idiot

Seriously, I am. I pushed myself very hard this week at the gym, pushing it beyond my limit. I am supposed to see my trainer for the first time today at 12:30 since my December hiatus, and I can barely MOVE. My legs are so sore that someone thought I had sprained my ankle because I am walking so funny. What am I gonna do? What was I thinking? My trainer always works my legs pretty hard! I tried to call her cell phone last night so that I could warn her, but it was out of service! Crap! Guess I'll just keep poppin' the Ibuprofen and pray. There is no mercy. My eating has been great this week, however.

Hunger & Laughs

Do you know how hard it is to work at an Italian restaurant where they give you free food when you are trying to do Body for Life? Holy pasta, Batman! I was good last night; I resisted the penne with gorgonzola cream sauce and the double dutch chocolate torte. Somebody KILL me, that was hard! Just give me the mixed greens with chicken and artichoke hearts in a balsamic vinegar, please. I was literally shaking. I don't have an eating disorder, though. Ha!

For laughs, I am trying to think of crazy, bratty things I did as a child.

When I was like 7, or so, I remember telling my friends at school that my mom went to jail, when in reality she just got a speeding ticket. She was SO not happy with me when the school called. I had to redact my statement in front of the whole class, lol!

Let's see, I also took off my clothes everywhere I went when I was very young because I didn't like clothes. There are no photos of me with clothes on before the age of 8 unless I was forced, which is obvious because of the look on my face.

After my mom popped me on the head with a wooden spoon in the kitchen for some stupid thing I did, I went and put the laundry basket over my head and walked around with my protection on.  My mom and grandma lost it when they saw me and couldn't stop laughing.

Enchiladas and Books

I cleaned up the spider webs in the kitchen and made another EFL meal, "Mom's Chicken Enchiladas". All I can say is YUM. I really liked this one! I wanted, like, 10 of them. It was a little more preparation than I wanted to do after a 12-hour day, but it was worth it. I also bought a new book, "Invisible Monsters" by Chuck Palahniuk. It was recommended to me because it is one of those dark, crazy books. The author also wrote "Fight Club" if that gives you the idea. Anyway, it is about a model who gets her jaw shot off and of course is horribly disfigured and can't talk. She loses her modeling job (duh), and her boyfriend dumps her and runs away with her best friend. She meets up with a transsexual (or something) and goes in search of happiness. Sounds interesting, no? I can't wait to start reading it.

I'm Official!

I actually REGISTERED for the Body for Life challenge today! What a concept! I do challenges, but never send in the paperwork. I'm doing it this time! Ya just never know. I will be doing that challenge, and the other challenge I told you about. The person I am competing with doesn't do BFL (to my knowledge) and thinks WALKING is gonna do it. NOT! Ha! I am sooooo gonna kick their ass! :-D

I may also register for a Maxformation since my trainer works for Max Muscle. I don't know if there are any rules that forbid competing in two different challenges. I use products from both EAS and Max Muscle. If anyone knows, email me.

Starting off with a protein shake this morning and will be doing stone wheat crackers with turkey and hot mustard for my next meal. My husband made his famous "Jim Chicken" last night. MMMMMMM. It is a very moist chicken breast in his special healthy, homemade barbecue sauce. What a great husband I have, it was fabulous. I had that and a huge portion of steamed cauliflower with enough water to take a bath in. Its cardio day. Crap. I hate cardio day. I just need to focus on my competition and how jealous they will be when I blow them so far out of the water it isn't funny!

The Old Grindstone

Things are incredibly back to normal now, including the Monday morning blahs. I'm also back on BFL full time now. Started off with an Iced Chai Tea with protein powder and glutamine, then a zone bar, then going to do oatmeal with Splenda and lean ham. (I get up at 4:30 am, so I am able to get a majority of my meals in before everyone else's normal lunch time.) I work out at lunch, so I gotta re-sign with the gym today. It will be pathetically busy, being January and all. I don't see my trainer until Friday, but I'm sure I will be way out of shape from my December Hiatus. I'm in competition for weight loss/muscle gain with a certain someone who I can't mention on my blog, so hopefully this will motivate me to get my arse going so I can BEAT THEM! They have a little bit of a head start on me, but once I get going, I know I can kick some serious butt.

Psycho Barbecuing

OK, I found another Texas Chainsaw site. This one made me laugh. You know I'm certifiable, right? It's called "Chop Tops BBQ". For those of you who don't know, "Chop Top" is a deranged Vietnam Vet with a metal plate in his head that is part of the "family" in Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part II. He is quite entertaining in the movie, a very colorful character. Anyway, my fav recipe is "Pete Loaf", with the main ingredient of course, being a guy named PETE. I guess you have to have a sick sense of humor like me. :)

Back to Normal

Temps are back in the 50's and all the snow and ice is gone. Whew! I thought it would be fun, it wasn't. You would think that it would allow me extra time to get stuff done like cleaning, organizing, you know, all that stuff you always plead as "I don't have the time!". Well, I had the time, and I was still lazy. I did, however, find the best drink EVER once we were able to break free from the ice barricades. We went to Ixtapa for some Mexican food, and I ordered a "double chocolate winter". It is hot chocolate with cinnamon, Baileys, Amaretto and Kahlua. It is DA BOMB!! Best kept for free days, of course, but WOW, talk about a chocolate lovers dream, it's like an orgasm in a glass. After a *few* of those, I was swept off into a very restful slumber.

Ice Storm!

So, first, we get pelted with snow, then 60 mile-an-hour winds, then an ICE STORM. This is the freakiest BS I have ever seen. This is my first ice storm, so I did not know what to expect. Our power started blinking on and off, and that really sent me into a panic because we don't own a fireplace. I KNOW. I kept wondering if we were all going to freeze to death. I've kept the computer off for the most part because of the power threat; hence the lack of blogging. I couldn't stand it any longer, though, so here I am. The DOGS don't even like it. I did get some rather humorous video of them sliding on the ice after treats, however. I'm just evil, I'll do anything for a good picture. You'll notice the picture of Louie standing on TOP of the snow, because the top layer of that snow is ice. My front windows look like shower glass, and I can't get my car door open. I got a little extended vacation from work, too. It hasn't been fun, though. I'm feeling anxious and claustrophobic. My neighbors will call me, but no one will venture out of their house. It's like we all have this neurotic need to stay inside and whine and bitch.

Bummed and Freezing

It is 15 frigging degrees here. It doesn't usually get this cold here, and my blood is still a little thin from the mild winter we had last year. I can't even remember the last time it got below 32 degrees. The news is predicting a foot of snow tomorrow for my area. A FOOT! Holy crap! Lou and Mags are laying in front of the heater and won't budge. I actually love the snow, but it sucks when you have a bunch of plans. There is no way on the planet I am driving to work with a foot of snow on the ground. I am a great snow driver, but Washington drivers are among the most moronic when it comes to winter weather. "It's snowing? Oh, well, I'll drive FASTER! I have a four-wheel drive vehicle and I am the only important one on the road!" Then there are the other drivers that are like "Oh my God, its Armageddon! I'll go 2 mph up this hill!"

Tomorrow is the official end to my 2-week vacation from the office. Poo. I have been in my pajamas for the last two days and have slept more than I have been awake. I got absolutely NOTHING accomplished. I have not even brushed my hair. It was a huge effort just to check my email. Now, it's back to working double shifts, working out every day, preparing 6 meals a day and sleeping only 6 or so hours a night. As much as I would like to be a stay-at-home dog mom, I would probably end up being a 500-pound rolling donut who would break out in a sweat answering the phone. It's really a good thing that I have a job.

Ma! Let us in! It's cold out here!

It is 2004. Woohoo.

New Year's Eve is so uneventful for us. I got called in to work at the restaurant (what a surprise), but they felt bad calling me in on my vacation, so I got to be the first one off. That, of course, completely pissed off my co-workers who had to stay past midnight, hahaha. It is such a clusterfuck to work on a holiday at a restaurant. By the time we all figure out what the 5 billion specials are, it's over. The prices get jacked up, and the service gets crappier because everyone on the planet eats out on holidays. (Also, we are all secretly cursing those people who get to do fun stuff on holidays and can afford to go out to eat at a nice restaurant.) The stupidest people alive decided to sit in my section, too. "What is Linguini?" My God in heaven. It is, however, a good night to make bank. Over a hundred dollars cash in just a few hours.

It just started snowing again here, and it is sticking to the pavement. The Seattle-metro area isn't used to getting too much snow, so the whole state pretty much shuts down with a few inches.

Oh, and I made the Beef with Barely soup from Eating for Life! (I don't give a shit about mad cow.) It was pretty good! Jim left the rest of it sitting out on the counter overnight, though, and we had to throw the rest away. Never trust men to put food away before they go to bed.

How to piss off a vegan: say you belong to PETA, then go on to explain what that term means to you: People Eating Tasty Animals.

Sleeping with Dogs

OK, first get your mind out of the gutter. That's yucky.

Since Jim got hurt, he has been sleeping in his recliner instead of the bed, so the pups get a little vacation from the crates and get to sleep in Crazydogmama's bed. It has been interesting, to say the least.

Maggie: Maggie is a rock. A warm rock with fur. Think about what sleeping with a rock would be like, and that describes it.

Louie: Louie is a temperamental little butthole. If I touch him or nudge him, he grunts and growls. He turns around in a circle at least 50 times before laying down, then lets out a big huff. He SNORES. LOUD. He audibly farts. He barks in his sleep with his little mouth closed. It sounds just like water dripping somewhere.

If either one of them hears the slightest noise, it's like a barking circus stampede.

I'm creatively evil!

Yes folks, it's official! Crazydogmama is "creatively evil", the quiz I took said so!

My new blogger friend Stephanie had this quiz on her site and of course I was completely compelled to take it right away. I thought I would be eviler, but the puppy question blew it for me. Kick a puppy, are you kidding me? If I saw someone kick a puppy, I would put on my Leatherface mask and get medieval on their ass! This only makes me *creatively evil" apparently.

Trying to get it in gear.

Well, my bag of peanut butter cups is almost gone. *Sigh* So it is time to get back on BFL and lose the holiday 2-pound gain. (Not bad considering I have eaten like a hell cow for the whole month.) I need to frantically lose those two pounds in the next two weeks so that my trainer doesn't give me the "there-is-no-reason-to-gain-weight-during-the-holidays" speech. I'm already gonna get scolded for the smoking. So far, the best I've done with the Eating for Life Book is the crackers with turkey because that is about the only healthy food I have in the house. I really want to try the Chai tea recipe. I'm thinking do some yoga, then drink healthy Chai tea. A little different from my run-until-I-want-to-puke, then have a non-fat iced mocha routine. Heehee. Yogagirl will be so proud!

Winter Wonderland

I finally got a white Christmas! It started snowing right after Christmas dinner at my mom's, so we hurried home. Got a picture of the pups frolicking.



Oh, and you will all be very jealous, I got a LAPTOP from Santa! Yaayyy! I'm still not eating good, I'm living on peanut butter cups and leftovers. I am reading the Eating for Life Book by Bill Phillips that I just got, but I think I might wait until Monday to cut off my holiday eat-whatever-I-want stint. I won't even be seeing my trainer until Jan. 9th. It is a TRUE vacation from EVERYTHING! Two weeks of sleeping, eating and playing with my new toys. Holiday chaos is over, the dogs smell good, and my house is picked-up. Now I must get back to Mr. Hanky, the Christmas Poo.

Hope you all had a great Christmas! Let me know what kind of toys YOU got!