Shattered Heart

My boo-bear is gone. So is my soul. This is the single worst day of my entire life. That dog meant more to me than most people. I will never be the same. No dog will ever be Louie. I took off work to spend the last few days with him so I could hug him and kiss him and tell him how much better he made my life. I would not have made it through the last few years without him by my side. I don't know if I can be CrazyDogMama anymore.

I love you my sweet, sweet bear, and you will be missed forever.

The New Car I'm Getting

Now that I'm in California and don't need an SUV anymore, it is time to get THIS. A 2011 Dodge Challenger. I need to think about this, because if I think too much about Louie, I'm going to start bawling my eyes out again. I have to put him down and it will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. Lou is the reason I became "CrazyDogMama". Okay that's enough, can't talk about that anymore.

 

Officially Texas-bound!

Got my plane ticket today and booked a hotel. Got awesome deals, only 200 bucks round trip and 60 percent off a luxury hotel in downtown Austin. Yes! I'm going with friends for 8 days at the end of April / first part of May. Should be great fun! Oh how I need a vacation, and it's a wild crowd too, so who knows what I'm in for. LOL. Now I just have to survive between now and then.

All the way from the Netherlands!

Not what you're thinking, a girl gave these to me. Such a sweetheart! I helped a coworker in the middle of the night. She was stressed about getting a project done while she was overseas, and she brought these back for me in thanks. She said she couldn't believe how willing I was to help her when I didn't have to, and that I was so nice about it. This perplexed me. She explained that everyone else was snotty about it and I wasn't. Apparently, she bragged about me to the bigwigs that not only was I accommodating, but that I really knew my shit!  I guess it does pay to be nice!

Wild Elixir

My new scent. :-)

Just Woke Up

UG. Didn't get to bed until around 3 am. (Thanks Joe!) Should go to boxing this morning but I am so exhausted from the week I don't know. The dogs are looking up at me with expressions on their face like, "What are we doing up before noon on a Saturday?" Indeed. Perhaps I should go back to bed. Okay, sound good. Buh-bye.

Randomness

New shoes! Glowing pool! Laguna Beach and my favorite restaurant there! And, those DAMN Angry Birds are at it again!

I spent THREE FREAKING HOURS playing that stupid game on Saturday non-stop. I warned Joe not to download it, we'll see if he listens. He is taking me to see "Red Riding Hood" on Friday, I haven't heard anything about it yet, so SHHH don't tell me!

Food

How I've lost 60+ pounds and am still going!

I do not eat anything I do not like the taste of. Period. There is no way I could eat tofu, rice cakes, diet soda or live on chicken and broccoli. Blech. I don't like Boca Burgers, but I love MorningStar Grillers! I put steak dust and red pepper flakes on them, drop them in the skillet, then eat them on an English muffin with stone ground mustard. (Pictured below with a side of fresh strawberries!) Since I live for Blue Cheese dressing, I had to find one that was lower in fat, carbs and calories. Walden Farms makes a great one! It actually tastes GOOD! I also make Cajun chicken and scampi with zero calorie sauces from Walden Farms. They ROCK. Tonight, however, I am eating ribs and having creme carmel for dessert! :-D

Reduced to Tears

Tonight, I can hardly move. I can't recall ever being in this much pain from a workout. I knew boxing was hard, but it hurts to breathe, literally. I wasn't aware of all the muscles in and around your ribcage. It took me 6 minutes to get downstairs, holding on to the railing for dear life. I must have done 100 squats throughout training having to "crouch" down between punches.

On my first day, I walked in and looked around for where I was supposed to be. I saw a woman helping a man put his hand wraps on, so I figured she was the instructor and waited to have her help me as well since I have no idea what I'm doing. After several minutes of standing there like an idiot, a man came up to me, grabbed my hands and started putting my wraps on. No "hello", no "welcome", no introduction whatsoever. The first thing he said to me was "You smell like a cigarette.". I just kind of blinked. He said, "If you are going to smoke, why are you bothering?" More blinking from me as he yanked my hands around. I managed to say something retarded like "I'm trying really hard to quit." He finished and walked away. No mercy here. Yep, he is the instructor. About 30 minutes into the workout, I am sopping wet, my face is beat red, and I am breathing so loud I can hear my heartbeat in my ears. He is calling out combinations and I am having to quickly figure it out. 1 - 2, 1 - 1 - 2, 1 - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4. Okay, left jab, right cross. Left jab, left jab, right cross. Left jab, left jab, right cross, left hook, left upper cut. Again, again, AGAIN. I'm focused. I think. AAAH! There he is. Right beside me. Shit! He is standing in front of me with sparring equipment on. This means I am to take my focus off the bag and spar with him. "Come on" he says. I start hitting his gloves with the latest combination called out. "Harder." I really throw myself into this. I wail on his gloves. I'm grunting. OMG I'm grunting. He says "Good, now show me that kind of enthusiasm on the bag, and control your bag, stop letting it swing everywhere." Did I join the Marines, and no one told me? SHEESH. The police academy wasn't even this intense.

I have a really big bruise on my right forearm. Sexy.

Loving the Life I'm Living Now

I spent a buttload of money over the weekend. That's what happens when you have an episode of insomnia and go online shopping. LOL! I bought a bunch of new clothes (the pics above are a sampling of what I got), including some new workout gear (Ottomix), some new makeup "Raw Natural Minerals", and a big jug of caramel latte protein powder. I joined "LA Boxing" which is right down the street from me. I finally did it. Boxing, Kickboxing and MMA (Mixed Martial Arts)  hopefully starting today. I was nervous to tell Joe (Yes, that's his name) about the boxing because he thinks I'm so feminine. Every time he sees me I'm all dressed up and in high heels. ROFLMAO! But, when I told him, he said "Oh, that's hot." He is very secure in his manhood. :-)

While listening to my favorite tunes and drinking a glass of wine, I BBQ'd a pound of marinated Carne Asada last night and grilled with it some jalapeños, green and red peppers and onions. YUM! That gives me lunch for a few days. Then I watched "Zombieland" while waiting for the pool to heat up to a perfect 84 degrees and took a nice long skinny dip. That is my absolute favorite thing to do before bed. I got the pool light fixed, so it is so cool! The pool glows and you can see the steam rising off of it.

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, and Medieval Times!

WOW, an 8.9 in Japan, that's a biggie! Terrible. We have been getting tsunami warnings all morning here in Southern Cali, but nothing to worry about apparently, just no surfing or laying out on the beach. Most of the beaches here are closed right now.

I think I have been out every night this week; hence the reason I have been too tired to blog. Went to Medieval Times in Buena Park last Sunday night with some girly friends and what a trip! Too fun. You eat with your hands! And the alcoholic beverages come in these HUGE-ass goblets. I got the "First Knight" which has malibu rum, Bacardi rum, strawberry daquiri mix, pina colada mix and something else I forget. YUM. The show was very entertaining as well, the horses were gorgeous. None of us had ever been there before.

So, I am dating the sweetest man EVER, who also happens to be hysterically funny. He makes me laugh every day. His recent adventure was with his homemade salsa. His blender exploded while making the first batch, and he is still cleaning habaneros off of his ceiling, parrot and dog. Because I love spicy stuff, he made another batch and brought it to me at work. Isn't that nice? I guess it helps that he works across the street from me at Boeing. ;-)

Ahh, the weekend. It was in the 80's yesterday and is nice again today, so hopefully the weekend will be relaxing by the pool.

Conversations While Driving

So I went to lunch today with coworkers/friends Mario and Paula. I was driving, and on the way back to the office we had a pretty funny conversation. Paula is back on the dating scene after a long while just like me, and Mario is a perma-bachelor who is protective of his friend Cheryl.

Paula: "So when do we get to see a picture of your new man?"
Mario: "Yeah! When?"
Me: "Well I have a couple on my phone, here."
Paula: "Oh, he's hot!"
Mario: "He looks like a serial killer."
Me: "He does NOT look like a serial killer. What is the matter with you?!"
Mario: "He does too look like a serial killer, you are dating a serial killer."
Me: "Get OUT. Get OUT of the car." (Paula is howling in laughter in the back seat.)
Mario: (laughing) "Look at him. Serial killer."
Me: "OUT! Gimme my phone! You're fired!"

Progress

We are working our way downstairs. The upstairs hall, the staircase and living room are all painted, and crown molded now, and the entry hall has a new light. We also had the ceiling wood beams painted white since the walls are now beige. It looks so good! The pics don't do it justice. Furnishing the living room, however, is going to have to wait. We bought a leather couch and some cool wooden boxes to store stuff in, but that's about it. We are not looking forward to having the kitchen and family room done now, which is next, because it will be hard to live during the reconstruction. We are going to have to eat out every night! Funny thing happened. Upon tearing down the wood paneling from the bar (egads!), it uncovered what has to be the most hilarious wallpaper EVER. I remember it from my childhood, but holy GOD, it's awful, isn't it? LOL! I kind of love it at the same time. Brings back good memories.

By the way, you all crack me up. My emails of late are like, "What good thing?", "Is it a man, did you meet someone?", "Did you win the lottery?", "Oh, come on, tell us!"

Yes, I met someone, and yes, I am walking on clouds right now. He blows all the other ones out of the water so far. That's all I'm saying for now.

Yummy Lunch

Rotisserie chicken with avocado, vine tomatoes, Swiss cheese, spinach and aioli sauce on a 9-grain roll, accompanied by a spring mix with sweet vinaigrette. I eat well these days! Gotta love those California avocados! Yes, my lunch is important. Everyone wants to know what I had for lunch, including you. I will never regret posting food pics, and will probably never stop, so get over it.

I have some news, I think, but I'm going to wait a bit to talk about it cuz I don't wanna jinx it.

I Come By It Honestly

My mom and I went to dinner and splurged on steak and lobster. YUM! We both had a glass of wine with dinner. Afterward, I was driving us home and my mother was whining about going to the lamp store, which I did not feel like doing at 9 pm at night. (Also, my rule is no drinking and shopping. LOL!) As I passed the store, she shrieks this, "Right lane, right lane!" I told her we weren't doing that tonight. Then I hear: "Fuck, Shit, Piss!" Now, you may think that is just vulgar, but you have to picture the situation. My 105-pound senior citizen mother sitting in the passenger seat shouting an interesting string of obscenities because I wouldn't take her to the lamp store. Truly, it was FUNNY AS HELL. So, to calm her down, I made Grasshoppers for dessert. :-)

Storm Swimming

So I did something really cool the other night; albeit a little dangerous. We were having a thunder and lightning storm with rain, and I cranked the pool heat up and went swimming. It was probably the best thing I've done in awhile. I fixed the pool light recently, and when I turned it on, the pool glowed and I watched the rain splash and create glittery bubbles. It was so beautiful! I floated on my back and watched the show while the rain fell on my face. I know I'm a little crazy, but sometimes the best things in life require risk.

Stuff & Things

Wow, busy week. Taxes are done, got an offer on the house (way too low, though), and work is nuts. Texas trip got pushed to April due to work stuff, but we have been discussing the details and it sounds fun! We are going to spend time at Lake Travis, lunch at the University where Mario graduated (Texas State) and maybe even a drive down to the Riverwalk in San Antonio. My friends at work are now talking about a day trip to Magic Mt. Holy crap, I can handle Disneyland, but I may be too old for those kinds of G-forces! They will make me go however, so, YIKES.

Not sure what I am doing today, but hooray for the 3-day weekend! It is stormy here right now so outside activities are squelched, but maybe I will catch up on my sleep.

Sad?

I'm a little sad tonight. I'm not even sure exactly why. I don't have anything to be sad about. I have this great job that has really blossomed over the last year, I live in what used to be my vacation home that I love, I have great friends and family around me, and I no longer have the same stresses over money and whatnot. It has also been my own decision not to date; at least for a while. So why I am I sad? Good question.

I often think about things I can't do anything about. I'm not talking about my ex or any old boyfriends, or any bad things that have happened in my life, I mean about some obscure things that have somehow affected me profoundly without an explanation of why they affected me so much. Things that I should have forgotten by now, but haven't. Have you ever crossed paths with someone whom for whatever reason was only in your life for a brief second, but you can't forget about them? I have a sketchy at best recollection of some major events in my life, so how do I remember every detail of something so seemingly insignificant? This kind of thing perplexes me. Why do some details of your life stand out over others? I still do believe things happen for a reason; not in a way that suggests life is pre-planned, but in a way that if something that should be fleeting or just another day becomes so profound for you that it becomes part of who you are, it MUST have a purpose to it.

There is something I write down every day. A little bit of information I jot down on a small white notepad every. single. day. I keep it with me at all times. I never forget to do it. It is THAT important to me. I've been doing it for awhile now; long enough that I have filled up many notepads. I guess you could say I am obsessive, but it doesn't run my life, it is just a part of my life now. The information I write down is information that comes to me every day. If that information ever stops coming to me, I'm not sure how I will react. Inevitably, it will some day, stop. I know that. I have quit trying to analyze why I do this, I've just accepted it. I look forward to it. There is only one other person in the whole world that would probably be interested in this information besides myself. Actually, they would probably be more interested in why I keep it more than what it is. The information is nothing special. If I died tomorrow, the notepads would be of no use to anyone. Evidence suggests this person has been affected by me as well, in a way that I'm sure makes no sense to them either.

Life is strange. It can be ugly, it can be beautiful, and yes, it can also be very, very strange.

She's funny, that one.

My mom says some pretty funny things.

Mom: I'm cold, it's freezing!!
Me: Ma, it's 70 degrees outside.
Mom: Well, I have no thermalation!

Thermalation??

Cookbooks, A Drink, and Me

Playing with the Nikon

My Weird, Boring, Wonderful Life

Sometimes I think I have it all figured out, and then some days I wake up and the first thought in my head about my life is "WTF"?

I didn't get home from work until midnight last night. There was a crisis I had to deal with and was given a seemingly impossible deadline. But I made it! Ha! While everyone else was arguing, I just did it. I came home and it took several hours to come down off the stress. This morning I had a headache because all the stress settles in my shoulders and neck. I need a massage badly, but I'm not paying 80 bucks an hour. I'm still sick, too. It is just a stupid cold, but it robs me of energy.

I don't know what I'm going to do today. I'm going through my cookbooks. Damn! I have a lot of them! I want to get a bookshelf for downstairs near the kitchen because I forget about them up here. My mom wants to go down to Laguna Beach, and Cath is coming down at 1 pm. Oh crap! I better go get dressed.

Sick AGAIN!

I also ripped a fingernail off. OUCH. I can't even begin to tell you how much that hurts, and it is now painful to type as well. My nose is running, I'm sneezing, my head is pounding and my jaw hurts. Don't know why my jaw hurts. Since I've moved to Cali, I've been sick FIVE times. You would think moving to a nice, sunny warm climate that I would be sick LESS. But nooooo. My boss has the same thing and the director has strep throat. We're in terrific shape. I stayed home today but was constantly answering calls and texts. They can't live without me. Sheesh.

UUUFF! Louie just jumped up in my lap, spilled my water and planted his ass on the keyboard. Now Maggie is barking. Gotta love dogs. LOL.

Guess who is going to Texas!

Last night my friend Mario, his best friend Arthur and his roommate Jodi, all called me up and invited me on a little vacation with them. Mario used to live in Austin, Texas and wants us all to go with him for a visit at the end of March. I was flattered that they invited me, they said, "You HAVE to go, you are so fun!" So, I'm going. I've never been to Texas, and Mario knows all the fun places in Austin, so this should be an adventure! It is cool to have something to look forward to. I will be buying my plane ticket next week. Stay tuned!

ANGRY BIRDS

OH. MY. GOD

This is the best game EVER! At first, I wasn't that interested in some stupid little computer game, then I played it.

2 hours later, I am a full-blown addict. TRUST ME. The sound effects make me giggle, too. I will be dreaming about little pig heads in military helmets. My mom and Cath (who is to blame for my addiction) just laughed at me acting like a crazed hyena while playing it on the iPad.

Turtle Dog

My dog thinks he's a turtle.

Funnies

Roasted Pineapple & Habanero Dip

Okay, I confess I love Brussel Sprouts. YUM. Made them with garlic, olive oil and spices. Then I made Pork Tenderloin topped with the pineapple habanero sauce that I got from a store by Knott's Berry Farm.

Doesn't Get Any More Random Than This

I have purposely not been dating since I broke up with Paul, but I have to laugh at some of the profiles of the guys who have emailed me from online dating sites. One guy is looking for a woman who has never been married, is super fit and wants to have lots of kids. Did this guy even READ my profile? Next, some moron has this in his description, "I am a very, very handsome guy and I am great with women." Um, maybe he should add that he is also very humble and most likely a man-whore. And then there is this guy, "I am a 25-year-old guy in a 50-year-old guy's body", to which I responded, "I am a super model inside of a pudgy girl." Seriously guys? So, any other questions on why I am retired from dating?

I LOVE my new Nikon D90, hence the random pictures of my beloved pool, my Bolognese sauce, and my K-cup coffee.

Poor Lou-dog is having a hard time. The vet determined that somewhere along the line he had a stroke, and now he has these little seizures. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. He isn't in any pain that they can tell, but the little guy is a mess and sleeps most of the time now. I just hug on him and love him as much as I can.