VIP Parking

Starting off a Monday with sunglasses, an iced mocha and I get to park in my boss' parking space right underneath the building because she is on vacation this week! Weeeeee!

What is that light in the sky?

The sun is finally out, thank the Lord God in Heaven.

Monkey Wrench

However, there is one thing I really really need (and want) that I don't have. It puts a monkey wrench in my whole program. It is not something I have control over so it drives me crazy. Such is life I guess.

Whatever.

"The best way to get what you want, is to want what you have."

Northern Arizona?

Well, it looks like Northern Arizona is where I might be moving to in a year or so. I'll go into the details of why later when it starts to become a reality. But I'll tell you, the weather here never used to bother me, but in the last year or two it is really starting to grate. I'm tired of dark and gloomy and cold and rainy/snowy all the damn time with only a few months of sun. My mood sucks, you can't go do anything, it is just downright depressing anymore. Not to mention the joint aches. Getting old sucks. The culture here is starting to irritate me too. The taxes I pay go to nothing I believe in or care about and the traffic, OMG, kill me now.

The dentist sucks.

I used to actually enjoy getting my teeth cleaned, it almost put me to sleep, but now, I have a new hygienist and she scrapes HARD and almost sends me through the roof. My gums are throbbing this morning from my appointment yesterday, and I have healthy teeth and gums! However, for the first time in like, 10 years, I have to get a stupid filling. CRAP. Turn up the laughing gas!

The movie was decent.

I liked it. (The Haunting in Connecticut) The fact that it was based on a true story made it intriguing to me, and a little creepier. That is all I can think of to say. Seriously. I need some blogging motivation.

The Haunting in Connecticut

This is my scary face. I'm on my way to go see "The Haunting in Connecticut" with hubs.

Snow

Woke up to snow this morning. I'm curled up having my morning coffee thinking about stuff. I have to groom poor little Magadog today, she is in bad shape. I slept all say yesterday, I've been so damn tired. That virus really kicked my ass, and I still don't know what to think about my new job. Is my blogging exciting or what? Gah.

Seek into the unknown and you might find it.

A friend of mine sent me an email yesterday, and in trying to comfort me, said something I thought was very profound.

"Seek into the unknown and you might find it. Don't seek and life will remain the same."

I really thought about this and found it to be some of the best advice I've heard in a long time. Sometimes I can't figure out why I'm not happy, why I'm so depressed. I'm searching for something, and don't even know what I'm searching for half the time, but yet I need to not give up my search. Just keep going. Life is a journey of unknowns, and you may or may not find what you are looking for, but you will be forever changed (and your life) in the process. Basically, don't give up. Push through. Don't try and get AROUND the depression or the hardship, go THROUGH it. It WILL CHANGE you, and life will change too. Nothing stays the same if you stay in motion.

What do you think?

Things I just don't understand.

1. Why do people fear their boss? I want to do a good job as much as the next guy, but I'm not one to kiss ass or fear what my boss may or may not do to me. Fuck that.

2. When did it become cool to "hate" smokers? Do all also promote that whole "tolerance" thing too? Because that seems about right.

3. Why are some people offended by off-beat humor? I can't live in that world.

4. Things/people that many find attractive that I don't: Anybody from the movie "Twilight". Bleck. Super skinny women. I believe in curves.

5. Not being able to admit when you are wrong or apologize. Really? Believe it or not, there are lots of you out there. It baffles the shit out of me. I'm wrong about something, like, every 10 minutes.

Bolt!

Have you guys seen this Disney Pixar movie? OMG. So dang cute. I'm not usually into cutesy kid's movies, but I had to watch this one because it had a dog in it. Best line from Rhino the hamster in the plastic playball: "I'm lightning quick, I have razor-sharp reflexes. Wha! And I'm a master of stealth." He also says stuff like "super awesome", which of course makes me giggle.

I still love "Over the Hedge" the best, though. Super awesome flick. :-)

Work Faces

Shit-Fit of a Lifetime

I had the shit-fit of a lifetime when I saw the Crackberry heading straight for the toilet in slow motion. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

They just don't recover from water. I managed to get a new one without paying $450 bucks, so I'm ok now, but I pretty much wanted to die. I cannot be without a Crackberry. I just CAN'T. I think I would have sold a kidney to get another one. Seriously. I don't have many pleasures in life, but the Crackberry keeps me going. LOL.

Hey, I've lost some of my fans. Come back! I miss you! Why did you go? Has my blog started to suck? Did it always suck? Did I piss you off? Did I scare you? What will it take for you to come back? I'm crying. Where art thou?

Not Good

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I just dropped the Crackberry in the toilet. FUCK!

Issues and Alien Raiders

Virus from hell, then period from hell. I'm so damn pissy. Of course, when am I happy? Pffft. There is something bugging me, too. But can I talk about it. No. Why would I be able to do that?

I am going to watch "Alien Raiders" now with Carlos Bernard. YUMMY! (Tony from 24 for those of you living under a rock.) It just came out. I hope it is decent, the previews looked good. Then I'm going to watch "Bolt", the cute Pixar dog movie.

Chicken noodle soup cures all.

At least that's what I'm told. We'll see. ;-)

I was doing better, then last night sucked. I coughed ALL night resulting in no sleep and a raw throat. I'm at work now guzzling soup and tea. I'm having other issues, but I think you have heard enough for now.

Plans for the weekend include sleep, movies, sleep, cough syrup. My boss said I looked stoned yesterday. LOL. Such a great thing to hear from your new boss. Things are going ok, I just don't want to work anymore, and I get cranky about it sometimes. Well, I should say that I want to work on MY terms, not retire completely. My terms this week would have been sleep.

Somebody kill me.

Okay, I worked 4 hours before I pooped out today. Progress. I really hope I'm not getting a pneumonia. Walking takes an extreme amount of effort, and then I have to sit down a lot as if I just ran a marathon. It's super fun.

There is absolutely nothing of interest to blog about.

Serious Cough Syrup

This bronchitis thing has been AWFUL! I haven't been this sick since I was a kid. I also did something really, REALLY stupid today. I OD'd on cough syrup. I am not joking. The doctor prescribed this new, really potent cough suppressant that I think must be a hard-core narcotic. The pharmacist was adamant about not taking more than one teaspoon every 10 hours, but I just figured it was like every other time they say that which means nothing. I could drink a whole bottle of codeine cough syrup and just get a little sleepy. Not this time. I almost had to go to emergency. I took 2 teaspoons on an empty stomach, and I started hallucinating, was dripping wet with sweat, shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't think or talk right. I was SCARED. I was also nauseated and couldn't walk. NOT a fun high. I will never do that again! Damn!

I am not a good sick person.

I'm dying. My head is pounding, my fever is rising and my cough is rattling the windows. My eyes are glazed over, and my ears are ringing. Bleh. Yeah, I'm thinking I need to reschedule Juice, so sorry. Next week, ok? Don't even know if I'll be able to go to work tomorrow, which is stressing me out. 

Bronchitis

I had a great time at Semiahmoo except for the part where I got BRONCHITIS. I KNOW. The first weekend away I get in eons, and I get sick. It started Saturday night, and by Sunday morning I was bed-ridden in the hotel room. DOG sick. Not only that, but I'm so dizzy today and my cough hurts so bad, that I had to call in sick at my job. I haven't even been there 3 weeks yet. How embarrassing. Ug. I'm going back to bed. I'm coughing up lung cheese presently. YUCK.

Semiahmoo

Going to Semiahmoo resort today and tomorrow with a girly friend of mine. It's near Canada right on Birch Bay. Beautiful!

Crisis Averted

There is nothing worse than almost running out of gas on the Evergreen Point Bridge, except actually running out of gas. I think there is a fine for it now, and I was stressing HARD. It will literally STOP traffic for hours and hours because there is nowhere to pull over, and there will be approximately 10,000 people wanting to KILL you. But I made it by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin. HOWEVER, I got turned around after filling up and went back the wrong direction over the bridge again, then had to turn around and go back over it a THIRD time because I am a dolt.

It is also fun dealing with IBS on an hour and a half commute. UG.

TMI? Get over it. :)

Excuses

So yesterday I worked from 8 am to 1:30 am, then back to work at 8. This is why the blog is suffering. They are trying to kill me.

I enjoyed this article. You may or may not.

The Omega Letter Intelligence DigestVol: 13 Issue: 9 - Monday, March 09, 2009

OK, NOW the Sky is Falling.

In September of last year when Lehman Brothers filed for what was then the biggest bankruptcy in the United States, the Dow dropped a whopping 504 points.

On that same day in September, Senator John McCain lost the 2008 Election with these words: "The fundamentals of our economy are strong."

Ironically, McCain was right. The 'fundamentals' of our economy didn't change, a better word description might be to say the fundamentals of the economy were exposed.

America discovered that it had been mugged. And like an angry mugging victim thirsty for revenge, it lashed out as much at the cop on the beat for not preventing it as it did the muggers. The muggers became linked in the public mind with the Republicans, something the Dems had been cultivating since the Pelosi/Reid takeover of Congress in 2006.

One can argue all day about how the Republicans are responsible and how Obama inherited a bad economy, but the facts are neither Republican or Democrat.

When Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid announced in 2006 that they were going to fix the "Bush economy" the "Bush economy" had enjoyed more than 55 months of steady growth.

When the new Congress was seated, the Dow was celebrating the recovery of all its losses since 9/11, closing above 11,000 for the first time since. This isn't partisan stuff, this is history.

In January, 2006, George Bush was a lame-duck president presiding over a Congress dominated by the other party. It was after Pelosi/Reid seized the majority and started fixing the Bush economy that it began to roll over, not before.

It doesn't matter what political party one belongs to, the history is still the same.

If there was a first domino that set all the rest of them in motion, it was pushed over after control of the Congress was handed to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.

Assessment:

The Democrats began running for president long before they had a candidate, and they said from the beginning that their strategy was to focus on the 'Bush' economy -- which, as noted, was up to that time in pretty good shape.

Here's the thing to understand about the US economy. It isn't a 'thing'. It isn't a person. It is you and me. It rises or falls depending on how much confidence we have in it.

If I don't think my money is going to be safe if I leave it in the stock market, then logically, I am going to take it out and put it somewhere less risky.

So if somebody I admire and trust (like my Congressional leaders) tell me that the market is about to tank, and someone I've grown to despise and distrust (Evil Bush) says the market is safe, I have two reasons to pull my money out.

The first is to protect my investment. The second is to poke my thumb into the eye of somebody I hate (Evil Bush).

Multiply me times all the Evil Bush-haters that both feared for their wealth and enjoyed making Bush look bad who pulled out of the market and you have the beginnings of a recession.

After awhile, even those less enamored of Pelosi/Reid and less distrustful of Evil Bush are going to worry about their 401ks and rethink their exposure on the stock market. Which makes the numbers shakier and a recession more likely.

Keep shaking confidence by attacking the 'Bush recession' during the election campaign and the market will keep going down. Now here is where politics plays a role.

The Left campaigns mainly on handouts to the poor and taxes on the 'rich'. Let's define 'rich' and 'poor' as is applied in political theory.

'Rich' means white, middle-aged working professional couples, with no kids still at home.

(To the taxman, grandparents backed by a lifetime of investments and purchases are 'rich', even if they earn no more than a working couple just starting out.)

By our mid-50's we're as professional as we're gonna get, and we're making about as much as we can ever hope to, which we are trying our best to make stretch into our retirement.

'Poor' means single-parent families on food stamps, young parents still learning their skills earning entry-level salaries, and two-parent unskilled working couples with children.

There are more poor people who want handouts than there are 'rich' who want to fund them, the more the Left can demonize the 'rich' the more votes they can get from the poor.

That is not partisan politics. It is accepted political theory as was applied in recent political history.

When the 'rich' realized that the next likely president was going to be an ardent socialist, the 'rich' started yanking their retirement funds out of the stock market and steering them into what they hoped were safer investment vehicles.

All through the presidential campaign season, the market unravelled as nervous investors pulled out enough money to expose the crooks in the system. In August, Barack Hussein Obama secured the nomination for president.

In September, the unemployment rate jumped to its highest level in 5 years. As Obama began to outline his economic plans, more and more investors fled the market. By mid-October, it was going into free-fall.

On the day Obama was elected, the market had fallen from its peak of 11,000 when the Dems took over Congress to just over 9,000. By Inauguration Day, it had fallen to 8,000.

It has fallen by 1,400 points per week for every week Obama has been in office. If it continues to fall at the current rate it will be at zero before the end of April.

What is curious about this is the fact that Obama continues to talk down the economy, knowing the effect his words are having. If the President STILL says your retirement money isn't safe in the market, what do you do? And what effect does that have on the market?

So, WHY is he still slamming the economy?

Obama, or his advisors, know the history of American recessions and how Americans get out of them. Or deeper into them. Higher taxes and increased government spending have the same effect on a national economy as compensating for a pay cut by spending more on your credit cards.

Nations can't borrow their way out of debt any more than individuals can. He knows that. So he is proposing a ten-fold increase in spending, funded by borrowing from the future and taxing present wealth, knowing it will only make things worse.

What is the end game? Rahm Emmanuel explained it over the weekend on TV. "You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. What I mean by that is it's an opportunity to do things that you think you could not do before."

Especially a crisis that was more than two years in the making. It's already paid off, big time, so why rein things in now?

Things are just starting to go their way.

Weirdness

I woke up this morning with this "Yes" song in my head, "Shoot High, Aim Low". I downloaded it a few years ago but haven't really listened to it since college. I have no idea what brought it into my head, I don't recall thinking about it, but maybe some memory was sparked. It is a good song, but an obscure one that you don't hear often; not in stores or on TV or anything. I woke up singing it and I knew the lyrics, which is bizarre because not only do I never remember lyrics even to my favorite songs, but I also never knew the lyrics to this one at all. BIZARRE. So, I burned my copy to CD and listened to it in the car on my commute in. The lyrics are weird.

We hit the blue fields
In the blue sedan we didn't get much further
Just as the sun was rising in the mist
We were all alone we didn't need much more
So fast this expedition
So vast this heavy load
With a touch of luck and a sense of need
Seeing the guns and their faces
We look around the open shore
Waiting for something

Shoot high break low
Aim high shoot low
Break high let go
Shoot high aim low

This was to be our last ride
With the steel guitar and the love you give me
Underneath the skin a feeling, a breakdown
Well we sat for hours on the crimson sand
Exchanges in the currency of humans bought and sold
And the leaders seem to lose control
Shall we lose ourselves for a reason
Shall we burn ourselves for the answer
Have we found the place that we're looking for
Someone shouted "open the door"
Lookout

Shoot high break low
Aim high shoot low
Feeling of imagination
Break high let go
Shoot high aim low
Shoot high aim low
Nothing you can say
Shoot high let go
Takes me by surprise
Shoot high aim low

Who says's there's got to be a reason
Shoot high let go
Who says there's got to be an answer
We were all alone, we didn't need much more
Shoot high aim low
The sun's so hard on this endless highway
Shoot high let go
Shoot high aim low
I've heard the singers, who sing of love
Shoot high let go

In the blue sedan we never got much further
Shoot high aim low

America is collapsing, my friends.

It is happening before our very eyes. It is not a theory or a speculation of mine. Most Americans do not comprehend the scope or magnitude of this crisis. But they soon will. The dollar is going to collapse. It is possible Obama will have to declare Martial Law before the end of 2009. You may not believe it, you may be optimistic and thinking all of this is temporary, but it is not. I'm sorry. We are going down, and we are going down fast. It makes me sad. Prepare yourselves. Prepare mentally, physically and spiritually. If you do not, you will be in shock. I'm warning you, please listen! I get info from so many different sources. Credible sources. They have not steered me wrong yet. Not only that, but my soul can feel it also. Can you feel it? Can you feel that something is very, very wrong? More than any other time in your life with regards to the State of the Union? Listen to your gut.

What is the point?

Right now I'm trying to figure out what the point in blogging is. I guess I'm trying to figure out the point in a lot of things right now.

Feast 3

OKAY, it's snowing, and I'm all curled up on the couch about to watch "Feast 3". LOVED Feast 1, Feast 2 wasn't too bad, so now for the grand finale. Seriously though, if you haven't seen the original Feast, go rent it RIGHT NOW. Best monster movie EVER.

Um, yeah.

Not so deep.

My posts have been a little shallow lately because my brain has been fried. I go home at night and crash; I haven't even been watching my shows. I get up, go to work, eat a little something, and go to bed. That is pretty much life right now with the exception that I went to dinner with my mom last night. I'm beat. Tired. Not much of a life, huh? Yeah. I know. I feel like many things are out of my control right now, so I'm operating in robot mode, yet trying to learn my job. The future seems muddled; uncertain; ominous.

Applebee's

You know, Applebee's isn't half bad! I am here for the first time with mom. The spinach and artichoke dip rocks! I thought it was like a Denny's or something.

 
I wanted to stick sharp things into my eyeballs at work today, but I am getting the hang of things.

Lunch

Top Ramen for lunch dues. (Dues = Dudes)

Walk from the parking garage.

I'm frustrated today, (already), so I'll just post these random little Seattle pics I took on the walk to my building this morning. Enjoy. I need coffee and chocolate of some sort. Stat.

New Job Loneliness

I love being able to close my office door and have absolute silence. It is nice. I have so much reading to do, and the solitude helps me get it done faster.

I'm still feeling out of place, but that will just take time, I guess. You know how you feel when you are missing someone? That is the best way to describe how I feel. A little lonely, a little displaced. My other jobs afforded me comfort in that I hit the ground running on the first day, but that was a rare luxury I now know. What I am doing here is not that difficult in the grand scheme of things, but I do have some challenges ahead of me for producing change when people don't know me. I am much more tired at the end of my days here, that's for sure.

My personal life? I'm still battling the same demons, they never seem to get tired, but I'm pushing through the best I can. I've had to let go of someone recently, and it hasn't been easy. Not everyone is appointed to stay in your life, sometimes their presence is only for a season, for whatever reason. In this case, I think it was a combination of a lesson, a distraction, and an awakening.

I'm sure things will get better as I get to know people, but right now it's an adjustment for sure, and I'm a little tentative and sad.

Distractions Help

I'm trying to keep myself busy and not take so many naps on the weekend. It is hard. I did manage to start working on my home office project, but now the rest of the house is a mess. Arg!

I'm going to have a busy week at work reading procedures and learning the ropes. My boss is out of town, so it will be extra difficult. I actually brought in some personal items for my desk today, which was a feat with the hike I have to do. (Have I complained about that enough yet?) I still need flowers or a plant or something. I also forgot my lunch today, so I get to go wandering around Seattle today looking for food. Maybe I'll take a pic or two. I am so completely out of my comfort zone that it is a little amusing.

Office project, complete.

I no longer have piles and piles of stuff and boxes on the floor (see pic from earlier post), I put a bunch of clutter into the garage sale pile, I sorted through junk and papers and purged them, and vacuumed and dusted. I'm tired now.

The next step is picking out colors and painting, then designing a desk/bookshelf to build because the one I have is garbage. One thing at a time.

Saturday Morning Fun

Wanna fuck up your Saturday morning? Pay bills. Unless you have a lot of money, then in that case, just fuck you. ;-) Seriously, though, I need to do these things during the week, because it sets a bad tone for the weekend to start off seeing how much money I don't have to spend. It makes me want to crawl back into bed, put the sheets over my head, and not get back out until Monday morning. But here we are. I must continue on; it is what it is.

Maggie and Daddy. She also needs to be groomed, badly. Gah.

I'm not a groomer.

My poor badly groomed dog. His face is supposed to be much fuzzier. I keep telling him it will grow out. He's all mopey about it.

Well, I survived the first 3 days of my new job. It has been a big change for me, and all the walking has made my butt and hips sore. Shutty. I know.

I apparently woke up yelling "Get out!" LOL.

I think I've lost the ability to blog in any sort of organized fashion.

I'm working in the city now.

Really bad cell phone pics of Seattle around where I work. Today was better. Getting into the trenches.

First Day

I'm so exhausted. First day was overwhelming. I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water at the moment. Working at a big company in downtown Seattle is a WHOLE lot different than working at a small private company on the cush, slow-paced Eastside. I have my own office (yay!), but I don't have a view. Yet. And I have to walk about a mile to the building from where I have to frigging park. Today it was rainy and windy. BUT I have a job (a good one) and I'm VERY thankful.

Yes, Juice, the commute sucks, and no, Nichole I don't work at Fred Hutchinson. I'll tell you where I work if you email me, I need to be careful on the blog these days.

Once I figured out what floor I work on, I then got stuck in the bathroom. There is good smelly lotion in there and after I washed my hands, I put some on. I then could not open the door with the big heavy round knob. I had to use my shirt to get it open, and even then, it took me a few minutes. Yeah, I'm doing great! What a loser. LOL.

I am now enjoying a LARGE adult beverage. Nighty night.

Aaaahhh!

Holy shit I'm overwhelmed! Breathe in, breathe out. Calm. I can do this.

Parking Lot Blogging

I'm sitting in the grocery store parking lot blogging. I did not get, nor intend to get groceries. I'm not sure why I'm here. I am smoking a cigarette (shut up) and drinking a flat Pepsi left over from lunch. Yes, this is who you are reading.

My last day at my contract job today was a little sad. I wouldn't have thought it would be, but I actually made a friend I will miss. I was only there 3 months, but it was pretty cool. I am starting a job tomorrow a little unlike anything I've ever done before. It's in the city, it has more than 50 employees, and it is Biotech. (I previously was in medical device.) I need to put my 'A' game on, and I guess that is why I'm nervous. It is exciting, too, but my life has been a bit topsy turvy and I need to make sure I am focused.

3 Day Headache

We've rolled around to Monday again and I have 6 gazillion things to do before Wednesday. Ug. I have had a 3-day headache and am going to try and get in to see my Chiropractor today because I think it has to do with my back and neck. I'm a violent sleeper.

We had some excitement at the CrazyDogMama household this past weekend. Two young guys were causing trouble in my front yard destroying property and yelling and fighting. One guy was trying to restrain the other who was clearly either drunk or hopped up on drugs. Totally out of control. I called 911. The cops came and surveyed the damage, but the boys were long gone by the time the fuzz arrived. Crap! My neighborhood is going to shit. I hate that.

Nervous about the new job.

Sometimes I just don't know what to say on this stupid thing. It's true, I'm kind of a sad person, and I rollercoaster all over the place, but I've experienced a lot of loss. Loss of family, loss of friends, loss of a job and loss I can't even explain. Loss I've not talked about. I've done things I'm not proud of, and I've experienced betrayal and deceit. Some days I get through just fine and smile and laugh, and others I just curl up in a ball and don't talk to anyone. I guess that's normal. But it doesn't feel normal. What do you do when you can't seem to get over something and can't snap out of a funk? I've been to therapy. Sick of that. I'm just praying now. I'm starting my new job on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous. So much change in such a short amount of time. This is some serious bullshit rambling, huh? I butchered the poor dog. I feel so sorry for the poor little guy. He looks really silly.

Uncooperative

Putting the crazy back in CrazyDogMama. I'm grooming Louie today. I want to kill someone. He doesn't cooperate. AT ALL. There is hair EVERYWHERE.

I needed a drink.

Aaaaahhhh. Amaretto Di Saronno.

Office Project

Holy crap, what a complete mess. My office is a train wreck, much like my emotional stability of late. It is time to tackle this monster. I have NEVER in my life been this disorganized and messy. I'm usually the one people are calling to help them out with THEIR mess. Well, I can't stand it any longer!

My little life lessons/wisdom.

These aren't really that unique, but what the hell.

1. Expect the unexpected. The weirdest shit happens to me right out of the blue. SERIOUSLY.
2. The littlest thing can impact your life forever in a big way. And you won't necessarily know it until much later.
3. Cool earrings make all the difference in the world. I went a long time without wearing any earrings at all, then I started to again, and they change your whole appearance.
4. Someone will always find out.
5. My hairstylist told me that she took a poll, and most women think straight hair on women is more attractive and most men think curly hair is more attractive on women. I have naturally curly hair, and with this knowledge I still straighten my hair most days. Go figure.
6. Candles DO change your mood.
7. Hearing someone call someone else a 'stupid motherfucker' is funny. It just IS.
8. Writing in a blog can cause all KINDS of trouble.
9. If you really look, you can see that something good always comes out of something bad. I challenge you to look back on your own life and find this.
10. It is true that if you really love someone, their happiness becomes more important than your own.

There is no point in going over it all.

It is crisis after crisis around here. I'm not talking about breaking fingernails either, I mean REAL problems. Sometimes life and death ones. Thank God I'm calm in a crisis. I break down later, like yesterday. 8 hours of crying. Fun shit. But then it's over and I get back to work. It is that or a padded room, you know? (Sometimes the padded room sounds pretty good though.)

I've still got froggy throat and now a big UGLY fever blister on my lip. I look sexy, let me tell you. My head is starting to feel thick, too. Super.

The good news? It is time to go home. Buh bye.

Sometimes waking up is a waste of time.

I swear. I was going out to my car this morning and what do I find? The neighborhood teenagers have kicked my fence over AGAIN, but this time they destroyed the cemented post, so now it cannot be fixed. This makes my blood BOIL. I didn't do that kind of shit when I was young, toilet paper a house maybe, but not destroy property. If you see something on the news about a psychopathic woman running around in a Leatherface mask shooting teenagers with a BB gun, you'll know it's me. I'll plead insanity.

Frog

The lymphnodes in my neck are swollen and bulging, and I'm all froggy sounding. Actually, I sound like the demon in The Exorcist. What the hell? Laryngitis? I don't talk much, so it must be viral. Neat.

Happy Birthday, Amy!

Party Pics!

My friend Amy's birthday party bash. We talked, we drank and then they went to a piano bar, and I didn't go because I'm lame and wanted to go to bed.

Cherylisms

Before we begin, I have to define the Cherylism. "Creep Factor" is what makes a horror movie good. It means disturbing, brutal, disgusting or really unnerving. It is when you can leave the theatre and say, "That was fucking awesome".

OK, so now, how was "Friday the 13th"? Well, it wasn't bad, but it was lacking the Creep Factor. Even though nothing scares me, I need to feel something. It was entertaining, but I wasn't disturbed.

I finally got around to watching the "Saw" movies, which no one can believe it took me this long. I watched the first one and wasn't all that impressed except that it had a good twist. Much later I watched the second one and liked it, but it didn't have a rich enough Creep Factor for me, so I stopped watching them. Just last weekend I watched "Saw III". Awesome! GREAT Creep Factor! SO brutal! Loved it. You definitely have to watch the unrated version though. "Saw IV" was pretty good too and now I'm going to watch five this weekend.

I got the job!

OK, so HERE'S the news: I NAILED THAT JOB I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SINCE LAST OCTOBER! Woohoo! The one I interviewed the first time for last November when I was in California. It took a number of interviews (including a five-hour face to face one!) and I received the offer letter last Wednesday. They were VERY thorough and picky, and I feel very honored that they chose me. I also feel blessed to get such a job in the state of the union. I gave notice at my contract job, which I felt terrible about yesterday. So, I can talk about it now. I was offered more money than I've EVER made with incredible benefits (no more Cobra!) and I will be working toward a goal that is near and dear to my heart, targeting cancer. My grandmother died of breast cancer.

I start the 25th in the heart of downtown Seattle on the waterfront not far from the Space Needle. It is in an area known as "Belltown". The commute will be a BITCH, but I am so excited. It will be a very challenging job for me, but I'm going to give it my all.

OK, Valentines Day. I'm going to go see the "Friday the 13th" remake. YAY! Full report when I get back, it looks well made. I am sick and twisted, aren't I? One minute I'm posting Bible verses, and the next talking about horror movies. LOL! That's me. Love me or don't. ;-)

Friday the 13th

I have to do something today that I have been dreading. Something I'm not good at but has to be done. Wish me luck with my words. I will need it. And of COURSE, it's Friday the 13th. Who wants to do a martini lunch? Oy.

Important Quote

Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

I don't usually post quotes from the Bible, but I am today. I read this, this morning, and it really stuck in my head, especially the "Let us not lose heart in doing good" part. It is so easy to lose heart, to give up, to stay pissed off. But it's not worth it. Carrying around anger and resentment only hurts YOU. It is an awful way to live. I gave that up a while ago, and while I still struggle with depression, I feel free of those other destructive emotions. Sure, I get grumpy like anyone else, but I'm not angry anymore. I spent MANY years hauling around that burden, and take it from me, it is NOT worth it. No good can come from it. Even to those that have hurt me I am trying to do good for, and it is quite redeeming. Not in a egotistical or smug way, but an honest and compassionate way. I like it much better.

Words to Live By

I was sent these little sayings yesterday, and at the moment they mean a lot to me.

1. Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, but also love the ones who don't because you CAN! Love can change people.
2. Believe everything happens for a reason, because it does!
3. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
4. If it changes your life, let it!
5. Kiss slowly.
6. Forgive quickly.
7. God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

Hello Blog Family!

I'm all giddy today. Don't faint. Things are looking up and certainly getting exciting around here. Some big changes for me and unique opportunities are afoot!

For Valentine's weekend I'm going to go see the new remake of "Friday the 13th" (so romantic!) and go to a friend's birthday party. So, it's not sounding all that bad. Maybe February is finally changing for me!

Some funnies.

Motherload

Whoa! I have hit the motherload! I am so excited! Can't give details yet, but I will soon, I promise. It's big.

In other news, I'm freezing, and I still have cramps. I know, ya'll think I'm Bi-Polar or something don't you? LOL.

Funny boss story.

My glasses have fallen off of the top of my head at least 40 times this morning. I need to keep them on my face, but I am constantly putting them up to hold my hair away from my face, and if I slightly lean forward or backward, they go flying. Good thing there is carpeting here. ARG.

My boss keeps putting these boxes full of parts on top of my filing cabinets, and to mess with him, I give him a hard time about them being in my way constantly. A day or so ago, I put my hands on my hips and said, "These boxes are still here, have we not talked about this?" in a sarcastic tone. All of a sudden, as he was standing next to them, he reached out his arm very dramatically and did a complete SWOOP and sent the box flying; little parts going EVERYWHERE. He calmly smiled and said "Better?". It startled the shit out of me and TOTALLY took me by surprise, and I started laughing so hard until I was crying. Then he started laughing, as well as the other temporary employee. It was just classic. Too funny.

Crampy

Why haven't I posted today until now? Because I have cramps from HELL. I am seriously grumpy about it. Do not approach. Everything that has pissed me off in the last, say, month or so, is highly exaggerated to me at moment.

I Love Quotes

"Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom."
-Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.”
-Voltaire

"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box."
-Italian Proverb

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

"As a human being, one has been endowed with just enough intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is."
-Albert Einstein

"Once integrity is lost, the rest is a piece of cake."
- J.R. Ewing

Jean Bling

Not, I am not 12 years old, I found these jeans in the ADULT WOMEN's section a few months ago. They have beaded hearts on them, and they are way cool.

Back in the Saddle

Had a pretty nice Sunday. Woke up to a little snow this morning and a beautiful full moon. This should be an interesting week. I'm waiting on some (potentially big) news about a possible job. Spent a nice day yesterday having breakfast (eggs benedict, my favorite!) and then took some old movies I didn't want any more back to "Half Price Books" and exchanged them for some good old horror movies and a few chick flicks, then went back home and cooked a yummy apple smoked pork loin with homestyle potatoes. It was quite good. Fell asleep early and actually got more than 8 hours of sleep! I did wake up a few times, but I feel rested today.

One could say I'm "Back in the Saddle" again. Think Aerosmith. But then it would be "Baaaaaaaack in the Saddle", LOL!

All is Quiet on the Western Front

I left work early on Friday to get my taxes done and am only getting enough back to pay the guy doing them. I made too much last year (um, what?) and my itemized deductions were less this year. I wasn't feeling up to going out after that, so I went home and crashed. This morning I had one of my headaches, and have had it all day, so I have been very quiet and not moving a whole lot. I took a break from the computer, hence my absence. Sometimes it just needs to be shut off. I should shut it off for the whole weekend, but I'm not that strong yet.

My headache is gone now, but the house is a mess. I guess it is time to clean. Last week was challenging for me and I'm hoping for a better week next week.

I have a look.

Another classic "CrazyDogMama" look. Pissed off and evil. I know I need a new look. I'll work on it, OK?

I am a doofus.

I deleted the last post by accident, and it had a comment! I get so few of those, so damn! It wasn't my best stuff, so no biggie, but I keep doing that! Maybe I should delete THIS retarded post by accident.

The body I am striving for.

I will probably have to cut down on the Oreo's and oatmeal pies. I feel this is the perfect "balance". Strong and sexy, yet not *too* muscular or man-like. I want to keep my boobs and my curves. I'm going to have Skwigg help me with a "head transplant" so that I can put the pic on my refrigerator. (A head transplant is where you take a digital photo of your own head and put it on whatever body you want.) It is a great motivator. When it's done, I'll post it. I don't need the bikini or the body builder platform shoes, but it would be nice to be able to wear things I haven't been able to for a long time. There are so many reasons to strive for a strong body, but my health is starting to go to the birds, so I better get started sooner rather than later.

Sleeping on the job.

I'm really sleepy today. I almost fell asleep driving to work. NOT GOOD. I kept waking up last night because I thought I heard someone calling my name. Weird. At one point I just said "WHAT? Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!" into thin air, to no one. If that doesn't prove I'm crazy, nothing will. I hope it wasn't God trying to get my attention. *Shutter*

I am also starving. I could eat an entire cow right now. My tummy is making really loud grumbly noises and I'm starting to get cranky. I do not like being hungry.

There are so many things I'm anxious to talk about, but I have to wait, and you know how I am with patience. Soon, though.

One more random thing for this disorganized post; I almost went catatonic yesterday. I was going to the ladies' room, and upon opening the door, my Crackberry went flying! (Yes, I take it to the restroom with me. Shut up.) I froze with fear as I watched it break into three pieces. I pounced on it and THANK THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY (I'm serious), I was able to put it back together. There are few things that give me joy right now and losing "The Precious" would tip me right over the edge.

No kittens were harmed.

Now that I'm somewhat sane again and not wanting to rip the heads off kittens, I thought I would post. I actually found it amusing that almost no one said anything, it was like you were all whispering, "Shh, her vision is based on movement.". OK, you know what? You'd lose it too if you were me! So there! I did get a really sweet comment about my smile on an earlier post that put me in a better mood. It's amazing what a little kindness can do for your spirits. :-)

Confessions

Um, YES, I need to get laid, and YES, I am going to. Eventually. Soon. NOW if I could. So shutty. ;-)

Yes, I just said that on the internet. What haven't I said on the internet?

Super, now I can't concentrate. LOL.

Pressure

OK, I lost it. It happens. I have a tremendous amount of pressure on me right now and I'd rather lose it in writing than on somebody.

Something I found intriguing.

No one seems to understand what is about to befall this country. So be it. How is that for saying what I want to say? No one listens anyway, so whatever. People see what they want to see.

SOMETHING OF HISTORIC PROPORTIONS IS HAPPENING
By Tim Wood 2008 December 1

I am a student of history. Professionally. I have written 15 books in six languages and have studied history all my life. I think there is something monumentally large afoot and I do not believe it is just a banking crisis, a mortgage crisis or a credit crisis.

Yes, these exist, but they are merely single facets on a very large gemstone that is only now coming into a sharper focus. Something of historic proportions is happening. I can sense it because I know how it feels, smells, what it looks like, and how people react to it. Yes, a perfect storm may be brewing, but there is something happening within our country that has been evolving for about ten - fifteen years. The pace has dramatically quickened in the past two years.

We demand and then codify into law the requirement that our banks make massive loans to people we know they can never pay back. Why?

We learned just days ago that the Federal Reserve, which has little or no real oversight by anyone, has "loaned" two trillion dollars (that is $2,000,000,000, 000) over the past few months, but will not tell us to whom or why or disclose the terms. That is our money, yours and mine.

And that is three times the 700 billion we all argued about so strenuously just this past September. Who has this money? Why do they have it? Why are the terms unavailable to us? Who asked for it? Who authorized it?

I thought this was a government of "we the people," who loaned our powers to our elected leaders. Apparently not, they now control us. We have spent two or more decades intentionally de-industrializing our economy. Why?

We have intentionally dumbed down our schools, ignored our history, and no longer teach our founding documents of why we are exceptional, and why we are worth preserving.
Students by and large cannot write, think critically, read, or articulate. Parents are not revolting, teachers are not picketing, and school boards continue to back mediocrity. Why?

We have now established the precedent of protesting every close election (now violently in California over proposition 8 that is so controversial that it wants marriage to remain between one man and one woman. Did you ever think such a thing possible just a decade ago?).

We have corrupted our sacred political process by allowing un-elected judges to write laws that radically change our way of life, and then mainstream Marxist groups like ACORN and others to turn our voting system into a banana republic. To what purpose?

Now our mortgage industry is collapsing, housing prices are in free fall, major industries are failing, our banking system is on the verge of collapse, social security is nearly bankrupt, as is Medicare and our entire government, our education system is worse than a joke (I teach college and know precisely what I am talking about) the list is staggering in its length, breadth, and depth. It is potentially 1929 x ten.

And we are at war with an enemy we cannot name for fear of offending people of the same religion, who cannot wait to slit the throats of your children if they have the opportunity to do so.
And now we have elected a man no one knows anything about, who has never run so much as a Dairy Queen, let alone a town as big as Wasilla, Alaska. All of his associations and alliances are with real radicals in their chosen fields of employment, religion and everything we learn about him, drip by drip, is unsettling if not downright scary (Surely you have heard him speak about his idea to create and fund a mandatory civilian defense force stronger than our military for use inside our borders? No? Oh, of course the media would never play that for you over and over and then demand he answer it. Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and $150,000 wardrobe is more important.)

Mr. Obama's winning platform can be boiled down to one word: change. Why?
I have never been so afraid for my country and for my children as I am now. This man campaigned on bringing people together, something he has never, ever done in his professional life.

In my assessment, Obama will divide us along philosophical lines, push us apart, and then try to realign the pieces into a new and different power structure.

Change is indeed coming. And when it comes, you will never see the same nation again. And that is only the beginning to a world social government. I thought I would never be able to experience what the ordinary, moral German felt in the mid-1930's. In those times, the messiah was a former smooth-talking rabble-rouser from the streets, about whom the average German knew next to nothing. What they did know was that he was associated with groups that shouted, shoved, and pushed around people with whom they disagreed; he edged his way onto the political stage through great oratory and promises.

Economic times were tough, people were losing jobs, and he was a great speaker. And he smiled and waved a lot. And people, even newspapers, were afraid to speak out for fear that his "brown shirts" would bully them into submission.

And then, he was duly elected to office, a full-throttled economic crisis at hand [the Great Depression]. Slowly but surely he seized the controls of government power, department-by- department, person-by-person, bureaucracy- by-bureaucracy.

The kids joined a Youth Movement in his name, where they were taught what to think. How did he get the people on his side? He did it promising jobs to the jobless, money to the indigent, and goodies for the military-industrial complex.

He did it by indoctrinating the children, advocating gun control, health care for all, better wages, better jobs, and promising to re-instill pride once again in the country, across Europe, and across the world.

He did it with a compliant media; did you know that?

And he did this all in the name of justice and 'CHANGE'.

And the people surely got what they voted for. (Look it up if you think that I am exaggerating. )
Read your history books.

Many people objected in 1933 and were shouted down, called names, laughed at, and made fun of. When Winston Churchill pointed out the obvious in the late 1930's while seated in the House of Lords in England (he was not yet Prime Minister), he was booed into his seat and called a crazy troublemaker. He was right, though.

Don't forget that Germany was the most educated, cultured country in Europe. It was full of music, art, museums, hospitals, laboratories, and universities.

And in less than six years, a shorter time span than just two terms of a U.S. presidency, it was rounding up its own citizens, killing others, abrogating its laws, turning children against parents, and neighbors against neighbors, all with the best of intentions of course. The road to Hell is always paved with them.

As a practical thinker, one not overly prone to emotional decisions, I have a choice: I can either believe what the objective pieces of evidence tell me (even if they make me cringe with disgust); I can believe what history is shouting to me from across the chasm of seven decades; or I can hope I am wrong by closing my eyes, having another drink, and ignoring what is transpiring around me.

Some people scoff at me, others laugh, or think I am foolish, naive, or both. Perhaps I am. But I have never been afraid to look people in the eye and tell them exactly what I believe and why I believe it.

I pray I am wrong. Pray with me for the truth, because the truth will set us free.

Screw today.

I did not get a damn thing accomplished this weekend. I have so many projects I need to work on; back up my hard drive, organize my digital pictures, clean out my closet and get rid of clothes, finish painting, clean out the refrigerator and pantry, groom the dogs, the list goes on and on and on. I'm feeling unmotivated. I feel as though the life energy has been sucked out of my soul. How do you get that back? How do you crawl out of Satan's colon? I want to beat my own head against a wall, then shake the shit out of other people who are not cooperating with me. There are things that are REALLY BUGGING me. Things that do NOT add up or make sense. I used to think the world was black and white, it either IS or it ISN'T. But you know? Not that simple. You can assume things are that way, but there always seems to be some unexplained elements. Some things that throw a monkey wrench in the whole theory.

Life does NOT obey our expectations and it does not care about our agenda. Life has an agenda of its own and good luck going up against it.

How would we handle things if we could put fear aside? If you could do or say what you REALLY wanted to? How would that change your world?

Greetings fellow insomniacs!

Sometimes I really hate being alone with my thoughts. Don't you? Do you have things that dominate your thoughts like I do? Questions without answers, feelings that make no sense? Wanting to get up up out of bed, but feeling paralyzed in a way?

Yeah, me neither.

Oh, and the best commercials?

Definitely the Doritos/crystal ball one and the Bud Light one where the office guy gets hucked out the window. LOL! OK, and I did laugh at the "Hate your job?" one. "Hi Dummy!". Hehe.

The Game

You know what is funny today? My friend Jenny and I have been texting each other throughout the game, "Did you see that?", "Oh no!", "Go Arizona!", "Stupid Steelers!" We are both rather amped up and ticked off at the moment. We're like a couple of guys, you'd think we had bet money on the game or something. I don't even really like football. Go figure.

I'm not a big sports fan, but...

I really need to watch the Steelers lose today.