Soul on Fire

I'm bouncing off the frigging walls.

I'm sorry, but it's just the truth of things. I need to get an out of state job ASAP. I think it would really help me.

Emotional, Sorry

Yes, I deleted the last post because I sounded like an idiot. I do that well. I'm just in the middle of a difficult and challenging process, and I get emotional some times. Life is hard. I need to get a helmet.

The storm is kicking some ass right now. I'm trying to get some video.

It is scary out there.

LORD HAVE MERCY!

Right now, I am huddled in a ball with the pups, and I am hearing frightening things outside. It's like a horror movie or something! Except I'm living it. The wind is screaming, then roaring, things are cracking, and the house is moaning. It is like a sub-zero hurricane. Jim is snoring and is of no help whatsoever. How can he sleep? I might have to wake his ass up. If I had a fireplace, I would be curled up in front of it, but no. Nothing normal like that, here. I'm wondering if we are going to lose power, the wind is fierce. If that happens, it's off to a hotel. If I can GET to one. The snow is piling up, too. Good grief, this is going to be a big fat mess.

This storm is something else, I've never quite experienced anything like it before. Not in my 30+ years of living here in Washington, anyway. It's crazy. I hope the house stays intact. Geez.

Don't make fun of me, it's Christmas.

I wrote this. Don't exactly know what it is. A poem? A song? Thoughts? You decide.

I wish I could look into your eyes, to see who you are.
I wish I could touch your face, so I would know you are real.
I wish I could lay my head on your chest, to hear you heart.
I wish you didn't feel so far.

I talk to you, but you won't talk back.
I find myself needing you when I'm full of fear, but do you hear me?
Do you know I'm still here?

Even in the silence,
Even in my despair, I know you are present somehow, I know you are there.

Keep me close, don't let me go, someday we'll be face to face and all emptiness will fade away.

Bracing for the Storm

Listen to this outlook for tonight and tomorrow, and remember, I already have 14 inches of snow and no fireplace. I'm totally screwed. Not only will I be in trouble if I lose power, but I'm worried about no work again next week. I guess this is when faith comes in, huh?

Puget Sound Weather Outlook

Updated Saturday 9:00 a.m.

This morning is the calm before the storm. Temperatures will bottom out in the low-mid teens, although some areas were much colder -- below zero, even! Arlington reported a temperature this morning of -3, while it was -1 in Sedro-Woolley and -2 just outside of Lake Stevens.

Strong winds will begin to pick up in the Cascade foothills this morning and increase in strength through the day. Peak winds of sustained 50-60 mph gusting to 70-90 mph are possible between 7 p.m. Saturday and 7 a.m. Sunday.

The rest of the area will be dry with increasing clouds, then heavy snow will develop around late afternoon in the south, pushing north through the Seattle metro area in the early evening. Several inches of snow are likely throughout Western Washington, save for the foothills, by Sunday morning.

The situation could be particularly dire along the far north coast, where you will get a combination of heavy snow and very strong winds. A rare BLIZZARD WARNING is in effect there.

At least I had a nice dream. I didn't want to wake up. It was everything I want in life, and I would have been just fine staying asleep forever. I was so disappointed when I woke up. Some of my bad dreams come true, so maybe, just maybe, this good one will.

Seven Pounds

WOW. Good movie! Very heavy, very intense. I'm glad I sat in the back row because I was blubbering into my scarf. The pic is of me STILL crying after the movie in the theatre bathroom. I waited until everyone left because I was embarrassed. It struck a few heart strings for me, as I'm sure it will for many. I can't tell you much about it, just go see it not knowing anything. It will make sense later. It's deep.

Oh, and it is TEN outside, and a tad slippery, but I'm so glad I got out. I needed that!

All Dressed Up

I'm going to the movies! Will be seeing "Seven Pounds" with Will Smith. I may even grab a burger. I'll give a full report when I get back. Screw you, snow and ice!

Kinda Cold

This is how cold it is, look at those icicles! They could, in all seriousness, kill someone. Which I might do if I can't leave my house soon.

I've never seen it like this here. Also, look at the table! So many inches I've lost count. At least the sun is out. I GOTTA get out of here! I've got to try and get to the movies or something, cabin fever is no joke, people.

Ms. Maggie ate the wrapping paper tube. The WHOLE THING. She apparently has cabin fever, too. Now she'll have the shits. Perfect.

Snow day # 3

Do you know what's REALLY neat? We are supposed to get a nifty little windstorm tomorrow with sustained winds 50-70 mph with gusts up to 90 mph. No power with no fireplace, AWESOME! CrazyDogMama on a popsicle stick! Crap on a cracker.

Leaving Normal

Watching "Leaving Normal" in bed. Great flick; an old favorite. There is 14 inches of snow outside freezing into solid ice. I'm just trying to stay warm.

Extreme Randomness

A.K.A. "Cher's Losing It"

I need to take a shower and wash my hair. I need to do something other than blog, sleep and eat.

The dogs stay warm by wedging themselves into my butt on the couch, and it takes a pry bar to get them loose.

If you eat Christmas Oreos with red filling, I guarantee you will think you are bleeding somewhere at some point afterward. Not that I would know. Ha.

Oh, and someone sent me Wu-Yi tea. I have no idea who, but thanks! It's supposed to help really fat people lose weight. What are you trying to say, huh?

 The weirdest crap happens to me. There are so many anonymous and/or secret people in my life. What is up with that?

I don't mean to sound like an ingrate or anything.

I know I am blessed. I always seem to get what I need and then some. My heart just hurts a little and I'm scared a little, too. I'm actually thinking about all those people downtown right now that are covering themselves with newspaper and freezing to death. Since I don't have any money to give right now, I'm thinking maybe I need to go give my time at the gospel mission. Washing dishes, cleaning toilets, whatever they need. You never know, I could be one of them some day with the way the world is going. Sometimes I lack faith and hope in certain things.

I'm super grumpy.

One minute I'm pissy and the next I'm crying. I don't know if it's the huge loss of money, being stuck in this house or maybe I'm premenstrual. I don't even know when my period is supposed to start; I stopped keeping track of such things. Which is exactly what you needed to know, right? I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind. I'm not all festive like everyone else at the moment.

So. Much. Snow.

The dogs don't know what to do, the snow is higher than they are. I'm getting cabin fever already. I'm pacing.

It won't stop!

I have almost a foot of snow and its still coming down! I'm not in a good mood. At all. I don't think my herbs are going to make it. What do you think? Pffft. I'm going to make a batch of brownies and eat the whole thing. Screw it.

Closed.

Well, I was going to risk my life going to work today because with missing a snow day and 4 unpaid holidays, I am already down over $1000, but I called my company's weather line, and it's CLOSED today. Fuck a duck. I'm going to be in trouble.

Crazydogmama Stew

This is a complicated recipe, so try to follow along carefully. HA.

1. Lay out all of your ingredients. Small golden potatoes, baby carrots, celery, white onions, stew mix (2 packets), lots of cubed stew meat, cooking oil, flour, hot salt, coriander, Emeril's Essence, parsley flakes, and ground pepper.

2. Have liquor close by to keep you going.

3. Brown stew meat in oil and flour.

4. Cut up veges and put in big pot.

5. Add browned meat, season packets, spices, flour and water.

6. Simmer for 2 hours or so. Eat much with fresh baked bread or rolls.

Simple stupid, super yummy.

Boot Attack

Here is my pathetic excuse for hiking boots, and Lou attacking them. LOL!

I am going to start my stew now since I didn't make it the other day. Maybe I'll do a photo essay of the process. Would you like that? I've got absolutely nothing better to do.

A Walk in the Snow

It is very difficult to walk the dogs while trapsing through the snow, and also manipulate a Digital SLR camera all at the same time. Just so you know. The dogs are maniacs. Louie is a wuss and started whining because his paws were cold. Maggie yanks the leash and spins in circles. This is my life. Here's what I got.

Maybe a walk?

I think I'm going to go take a walk with the dogs in the snow and bring my camera. Stay tuned. The dogs are pretty funny in the snow. I hope I don't fall and break my ass and the camera. LOL.

Glad I'm not out of milk.

Snow over a solid sheet of ice. Oh, how I wish I had a fireplace. What kind of idiot builds a house in the mountains without a fireplace? And what kind of idiot BUYS one? Hrmph. It's very pretty, the snow, but I'm not enjoying it like I should be, I guess. If things were a little different for me, I probably would be. It IS Christmassy. But I'm a tad bah-humbug this year. Pity.

Snow Day

I'm not even going to bother getting in my car. It's blizzarding and not expected to stop any time soon. This sucks. Usually, I'm happy because salaried employees get paid, which used to be me, but I'm contract now and losing 200 plus dollars by not going in. Stupid snow. I'm going to go out and kick it. Then go back to bed.

OK, I need to breathe.

I have been out in Christmas shopping HELL. I just had a few things to get to wrap things up, and it took ALL NIGHT. People are irritating and stupid and inconsiderate. I was looking at DVDs stacked on a wall, and two men just walked right in front of me and STOPPED. Um, HELLO? I think I was invisible tonight because everyone was in my way and then wouldn't move. I wanted to punch everyone in the neck. Parking lots? Don't even get me started. I was shaking I was so frustrated. There may have been a few curse words.

Christmas Coffee

Three things.

1. Does it not look like I just rolled out of bed? My hair needs some serious help today.

2) Yes, I am licking my coffee cup from Starfucks, don't you?

3) I may break the record for number of blog posts in a single day.

Dream Interpretation

So, I had a dream that I died the other night. Neat, eh? I thought it was most likely a negative thing, but as it turns out, maybe not.

To dream that you die in your dream, symbolizes inner changes, transformation, self-discovery and positive development that is happening within you or in your life. Although such a dream may bring about feelings of fear and anxiety, it is no cause for alarm and is often considered a positive symbol. Dreams of experiencing your own death usually means that big changes are ahead for you. You are moving on to new beginnings and leaving the past behind. These changes do not necessarily imply a negative turn of events. Metaphorically, dying can be seen as an end or a termination to your old ways and habits. So, dying does not always mean a physical death, but an ending of something.

On a negative note, to dream that you die may represent recent involvement in a deeply painful relationship or unhealthy, destructive behavior. You may be feeling depressed or feel strangled by a situation or person in your waking life. Perhaps your mind is preoccupied with someone else. Alternatively, you may be trying to get out of some obligation, responsibility or other situation.

Freaky, huh?

Tennessee?

OMG, I might have an interview in Tennessee with a really good company that is willing to pay for me to relocate. TENNESSEE!

At least it is warmer there.

It's 16 Degrees

You know, if I didn't have to wait in line for coffee, I would get a lot less blogging done. Not that you are getting Nobel Prize winning material here, but still. My boss is gone for 3 days! Woohoo! Party! Ha. And just in case you didn't believe me on the coldness outside, it is 16 this morning. Brr.

Wind Chill Factor

It's 19 fricking degrees! NINETEEN. It is like FIVE degrees with the wind-chill factor. Maggie is the one in my face, and Louie is bundled up next to me. I am going to have Oreos for dinner. Seriously.

Christmas Money

Things I may get with any Christmas money I receive. What do you think? Polka dot sleep pants and worn-in flare jeans.

Greetings from work.

Let's see, this morning I have a little nagging headache, and its freezing, I don't feel like working, and my mind is wandering, and I can't make it stop. I had a messed-up nightmare, too, so I'm unnerved. I took a pic of my necklace because I'm sure you're sick of my face. OK, yeah, I'm a little grumpy. I admit it. I have my reasons. Maybe it's because I'd rather be on warm beach somewhere having suntan oil rubbed on my back, with a margarita within arm's reach.

Girly Night

I just took a long, hot shower. There is nothing better than a scalding hot, steamy shower when it is beyond freezing outside. I pampered myself with a sugar scrub, a mud mask, and a conditioning treatment. Then, I slathered myself in lotion and now I am wrapping up in cozy warm clothes. Perhaps I'll make myself some hot cocoa now.

Quote Time

"Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of."
-Benjamin Franklin

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To live is like to love, all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it."
-Samuel Butler

"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do.' "
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes."
-St. Clement of Alexandra

Best Space Heater

Oh my Lord it's COLD! This little space heater is not leaving my side today.

Blizzard Conditions

Well, it was a great evening! My massage was AMAZING. I'm sore this morning, though, and dinner was fab. It is always great to spend time with your friends. Part of the drive home sucked. As you can (kind of) see, it was blizzarding and I had ZERO visibility. The back country roads I have to go on have no streetlights, and no other cars to follow! I made it, though. I was going 2 mph, but I made it. It gave me too much time to think. Life is feeling strange right now. Some things are just dragging out way too long. I don't know what to do with some of the feelings I'm having about other things. Some of the ways I feel don't even make sense, and some of them are just too embarrassing to talk about.