Kickin' it old school.

Hold on to yourselves, I'm going through old pictures again to sort things out and I'm finding more stupid photos. It's ALWAYS the hair. Always.

Trying to stay cozy.

OK I'm barely awake, but it is a winter wonderland out there and Lou just looks so damn cute.

Here we go.

It is officially snowing. HARD.

Friday night excitement.

I'm bored. I don't want to clean or watch TV, so maybe I'll read or get out the good camera. I was having fun with my little candlelight photo session the other night. I haven't been taking too many pics lately (except my stupid phone pics), so I'm out of practice. Now I just need to figure out what to photograph. I think you have all seen every possible shot of my head and feet. Here's the book I'm reading, it is intriguing. The author, Nicholas Sparks, is pretty good. They carry a lot of his books at Costco. I've put you to sleep now, haven't I?

Facebook vs. MySpace

I am now on Facebook because Myspace sucks. I hadn't updated in EONS, and it really is for the youth. Facebook is silly too, but it has more of an adult feel to it. I can't seem to delete Myspace, though, because it tries to confirm the delete on my old email (which I can't get to), and it won't let me change to my new email. DUMB. So, I just put it as private so weirdos will stop emailing me. Also, the winter storm warning has been reduced to a watch now. THEY LIE. I'm still going home early.

Faces only a mother could love.

Angry face, happy retarded face. I'm not taking a lunch today so I can leave early. There is a winter storm warning in effect, so I need to get my butt home ASAP. I'm thinking of making a pot of stew for dinner. I don't have a fireplace, so my heat bill is going to skyrocket. Awesome.  The news said we are going to have the coldest temps here since 1990. I miss the pool. I'm going to be bored all weekend with zero plans except facials with my girly friends on Saturday night. I need a hot tub.

Best. Card. Ever.

I absolutely ROLLED when I found this card. It is totally something I would say! Sarcasm at its finest.

I'm not sending Christmas cards out this year, but if I did, this is the one you would get. So, consider this your Christmas card. MERRY CHRISTMAS, bitches!

I am very proud of my mom and I!

My mom and I have been laughing all night instead of crying! My dad would be VERY happy about this.  So, we went to Walgreen's earlier, and I farted a little in the store, then grabbed my mom by the arm and hurried us right down the aisle so that no one would know it was me. We were trying not to laugh, but we aren't the most subtle in these situations. Now we're drinking spiked eggnog and God only knows what will happen. Good times.

No one cares what you had for lunch.

A less depressing entry. So, here's my lunch. It's Mongolian beef with veges. It was GOOD. I believe there is a book out there about blogging called "No one cares what you had for lunch". While that is good advice, I'm going to show you anyway because that's how I roll. Don't you think, though, that if they don't care about what you had for lunch, chances are they probably don't care about your cat or your dog or your kids either? I think you are all THRILLED to know what I had for lunch.

The other sad little blurry picture is my fortune. It says, "Your lover will never wish to leave you." Well, wishing and doing are two different things, cookie. Just sayin'.

I need a little extra love today.

This day last year my dad died. It has been very hard for me, as we were very close. This day haunts me because it does something to your soul when you watch someone you love take their last breath. I miss him so very much. There is so much I wish I could talk to him and tell him about. I need his advice. Christmas was his favorite time of year, and he was like a little kid. I don't know how to feel today, except sad.

I have a new bed partner.

Have I ever told you about Mr. Bear? I haven't? Well, I hate to admit it, but I am sleeping with a stuffed bear. Yes, I am 4 years old. Well, sometimes I feel like it; it can be scary at night! Haha.

My mom bought him for me when we went to Disneyland, and I love him! He is the bear on the Grizzly River Ride. I kept picking him up and putting him back down, and she decided I needed him. There is still a little girl in me, and my mom obviously knows that. He's a hand puppet, too! How cool is that?

I am into earrings lately; I don't know why.

But here are the latest dangly ones.

Just got word of a windstorm coming in Friday, some snow over the weekend and temperatures in the teens and low 20's. YIKES. Come hell or high water, though, Juice, Hole and I are getting our facials Saturday night. Right girls?

Jasmine Diffuser Reeds

Jasmine diffuser reeds make my office smell good. My office smells weird otherwise. It's not me.

Obsession is my routine.

Just to clarify, routine is not my obsession, but obsession is my routine. It didn't sound clear to me. I hate routine and wouldn't want anyone thinking I was obsessed with it. LOL!  My obsessions are much more exciting than that, I think.

Doesn't get more exciting than this.

Good morning. This is me drying my hair. The end. I do the same things every day and think about the same things every day. Routine obsession. I think that's what I'll call it.

Tape is the secret.

Here is my first wrapped present. It only took me an hour. I can cook an entire Christmas dinner faster, easier, and with less cursing. That sucker has a BUTTLOAD of tape holding it together. People tend to get frustrated opening my presents. I'm tired now.

Speaking of cooking, I want to make this citrus-marinated flank steak with roasted peppers, with something other than rice, sometime this week. Doesn't that sound good? Who's coming to dinner?

Daily CrazyDogMama.

I know you set your clocks for these silly little daily pics of me. I'm not super interesting, so this is all I can come up with. You can only do so much with a phone camera. Tell me you love them.

Blogging can be lonely. I use it as sort of a diary of what I was doing and when, but it is also supposed to be interactive, which mine lacks most of the time. I have to admit, though, I've met some GREAT people thru this process. It has been unexpectedly meaningful. It is interesting to see your life evolve (or not) and it can come in handy for remembering the dates of events. I also keep a private encrypted journal for stuff I can't talk about in public. There is some SERIOUS stuff in THAT journal. I can't even IMAGINE what would happen if that went public. YIKES. Anyway, happy blogging and blog-reading today.

What has happened to customer service?

Talk about cranky, I feel like choking the shit out of the guy that I just ordered a breakfast burrito from. First, I sat there waiting to order (at the little speaker) for 5 entire minutes with no other cars around. Then, no apology for having to wait. I ordered my burrito with extra salsa. When I got to the window, the guy was scowling and glaring at me. He took my money, then practically threw my bag at me. I smiled and said thank you anyway, but nothing from him. Not a single word. No "You're welcome", no "Have a nice day", NOTHING. If I had had time, I would have gone in and complained. I also should have checked my order, because later down the road I discovered there was NO salsa whatsoever, which renders breakfast burritos virtually inedible. It reminded me of the scene in Lethal Weapon 2, "They fuck you at the drive thru!" I'm sorry, but there is NO excuse for behavior like that in customer service. Maybe his cat died or something, but I wanted to punch him in the neck. He was a greasy little asshole, too. I hope that's not the way this day is going to go.

How I've been losing weight is a mystery.

OK so I didn't have lamb. I picked up a take 'n bake pizza and had it on a PAPER PLATE. The horror. LOL.

It's been awhile, so I agreed to it.

1. What time do you get up?
4:30 am

2. What time do you go to bed?
When (if) I get tired. It varies.

3. Do you like your job?
I feel DAMN lucky to have one right now. People are in trouble all around me. So YES.

4. What is your favorite show?
I love 'True Blood', 'Lost' and '24'.

5. If you could be doing anything right now, what would it be?
Something romantic.

6. Where is your favorite place?
I've never really been anywhere, so right now I guess California. Or in bed.

7. What are you having for dinner?
Probably lamb and veges.

8. What makes you angry?
When people don't listen to me, or are mean to me, and stupid drivers.

9. What do you long for?
No comment.

10. Do you have a secret talent?
Yes.

Lunch Workout?

I should start working out at lunch again, that makes the pounds melt away, and I want to keep going! My boss works out at lunch and so I'm going to go over and take a look at his gym.

Espresso Truffle

I have found the QUEEN MOTHER of all coffee drinks. You'll never guess where. Starbucks! That's right, stupid on every corner Starbucks. It's called "Espresso Truffle". It is FOUR different kinds of chocolate with espresso. I told my friend it was "orgasmic", and she told me, "You need to get laid". LOL. Now while that may be true, it is still a damn fine cup of coffee. ;-)

Alone in the Dark

The Fuse & Wicked Game

"The Fuse" by Bruce Springsteen is a great song. Sexy and sultry with interesting lyrics. I love how expressive some music is when it can really strike an emotion or put into words how you are feeling or want to feel. What would we do without music?

Then there is "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak. Talk about mood music. I know I've talked about it before, but this song does something to me. It really does.

What should I have for dinner?

What are you having for dinner? I could make something, but what? I haven't been eating at home very much. What sounds good? If you could have ANYTHING to eat right now, what would you want? Leave a comment, I'd like to know!

Done.

I am basically done with all my Christmas shopping. It is December 7th. Is that not awesome? It's a little sad in a way, but now I can relax. I'm usually the one scrambling at the last minute. All I have left to do is some stocking stuffers and then wrapping. Wrapping sucks. I hate wrapping. Wrapping hates me, too. I'm very impatient when I know it's just going to be ripped open; kind of like making a bed. What's the point? Bags. Decorative bags are the way to go. OK I got off on a rant, sorry about that.

Church Dinner

OK, my friend Jenny made me go out. She took me to a fancy banquet dinner at her church and then we went to her house, and she taught me how to make double chocolate "dream" pie. MMM. We had fun. I'm pooped. I'm doing my best to snap out of my mood. The pictures are as follows: curling my hair for the night out, my dinner at the banquet, and the ooey gooey pie we made. Once it sets, you put sliced strawberries on it.

Dark Place

I'm in trouble. I feel myself going into my dark place. I'm fighting it.

I'm hiding in bed.

My nice cozy comfy bed. One week down at the new job and I'm rockin' the town here on Friday night. Anything you want me to write about? I have blogger's block again.

Hi.

Did curly hair today because I was lazy. I don't know what to say anymore. I noticed my new laptop has a built-in webcam. HA! That would be SCARY, huh?

My disinterest in food is over.

WAY over. I'm STARVING. I have a meeting to go to, and my stomach is going to rumble the whole time, I know it. Lunch time is lonely. I miss my friends. I did meet a new friend yesterday (at work), but I don't know if we are at the "go out to lunch" stage yet. Sigh. Maybe I'll blog during lunch. About stupid stuff. Because my life is stupid. And boring.

Dream of a better future.

I hate phone arguing, don't you? Anyway, I'm trying to relax and dream of a better future, even if it's a pipe dream. I'm listening to my sexy new "Jazz from the Wine Bar" CD and having a nice glass of wine. I tried to get Lou-dog to dance with me, but he's a terrible lead. Maggie is just laying on her pillow looking at us like we're nuts. Which we are. Hope you are all having a nice evening.

Why We Suck

A couple of things here. It took me 8 hours to nurse an eggnog latte. I KNOW! Maybe aliens abducted me and did something to me when I wasn't paying attention?

Then there's Denis Leary's new book, "Why We Suck", a title he stole from me. I love Denis Leary. I am meandering about in Costco, my favorite place to shop and hang out.

Why do we suck? Because we are fallen creatures who wander around confused and lost. I think I need to get a Costco hot dog now.

Calmer?

OK I'm a little calmer this morning except for parking issues. Sorry, I just need to vent once in a while because my patience is not what it used to be, especially on certain issues. When stupid things keep rearing their ugly heads and prevent progress on other things it frustrates me to no end. But enough of that. A new day, an eggnog latte.

I hope I'm doing good at my new job. It's hard to know sometimes. But whatever. I'm not sure anything matters right now anyway.

Anywhere but here.

Crap on a cracker. I just got into a huge firefight with someone over something I am sick of trying to resolve. I just want it to be done already. Never to be dealt with again. I am so tired of it. I'm sorry I can't get into details because it is a private matter that concerns other people, but I've had it. I'm fed up and tired. I really need my old company to sell so I'll have enough money (stocks) to get the hell out of here. I don't even CARE where it is I go anymore. Anywhere but here. I'm so damn angry right now I can barely type. Please don't ask me about it, I don't want to talk about it. I just wanted to vent the only way I have to vent.

For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change.

Well, what would a morning post be without my big mug on it? That is my lovely office view, and also how very thrilled I am today. I'm trying to think of something to look forward to. ANYTHING. I've lost my appetite and all interest in food completely the last couple of days. Something is VERY, VERY wrong. SCARY wrong.

I'm a bit distracted because my mind is wandering onto things better left to myself, but sometimes thinking of certain things can put a smile on my face, and other times thinking of the very same thing can bring me to tears. Isn't that strange?

I'll leave you with these.

"The best way to live is by not knowing what will happen to you at the end of the day.". -Donald Barthelme

"For me, words are a form of action, capable of influencing change.". -Ingrid Bengis

Blackberry Storm

NEED. NOW. The new Blackberry Storm.

Parking Ticket

I'm restless, and torqued.

I got a mother-effing parking ticket. My wheel was like ONE inch into the yellow. Piss poor. I've got money falling out of my butt, too, so this was perfect.

I can't think of anything to eat, so screw it, I won't eat at all.

I used to love the holidays, now I'm just sad.

Aren't you glad you read my blog tonight? I'm sure I made you feel all warm inside.

Ulcer

Traffic gives me an ulcer.

My new hours.

It is entirely too early to be driving to work. My new hours are going to take some getting used to. It's the kind of early where I have to wonder if I'm wearing underwear & matching socks. Where's the coffee?

Almost bliss.

Big Bang Theory, Peppermint Crunch Junior Mints, and the realest (yes, realest) smelling Christmas candle ever made. Almost bliss, except for the fact that Louie is rubbing his butt on the floor. STOP. IT.

I have a window!

All in all, it was a pretty nice day. They are very casual and laid back here, and I even had a good laugh. I am very excited that I not only have a window (I've never had a window), but I can OPEN the window! How fun is that? It's the little things. A big breeze came in today, though, and blew everything off my desk. LOL.  I'll have to watch that.

The work is going to be a cakewalk, I just have to figure out what the people want. That's always harder than the paperwork details. I'm used to much more complicated systems, so I have to tone it down a bit and keep it simple. Anyway, I'm pooped and it's time to plant my ass on the couch and feed my pie hole. Did I mention that I have a WINDOW? LOL.

The New Contract Job

So far so good. Here is my new home, and me taking office pictures ALREADY. Lots of reading today and learning new systems. Exciting stuff. Do you see the window? I'm not in a windowless cubical anymore! I can see the outside! I am so excited! Everyone has been very welcoming and accommodating. I think I will fit in here just fine.

Here I go!

Let's hope I'm not late for my first day, I have a long commute. In the dark. Send me smart vibes. (So, I don't do anything stupid.) I am nervous and jittery; it's been a long time since I've had to do this. I'm so grateful I was able to score a job right away, but I hope I made the right decision, you know?

Alone

I'm feeling alone and anxious right now. What are y'all doing on this fine Sunday night? Talk to me.

Paintings and Guns

I bought a painting print from a friend online, and had it matted and framed. I think it turned out really nice.

Also, just making sure I'm protected and ready for home defense. A girl can't be too careful these days with all the crazies out there and what's going on in the world. Not to mention how far out I live. One must have a clean and well-maintained weapon. FYI, I'm probably not the house you want to break into, or the girl you want to mug. You see, my definition of "gun control" is using both hands. I'm a pretty good shot, too.

I start my new job tomorrow.

Here are all the thoughts/emotions I am having about it:

1. I'm nervous.
2. I don't wanna. I've decided working is BS.
3. I have to prove myself all over again and quite frankly I'm tired.
4. I hope all the people are cool, I am less patient in my old age.
5. I wonder if I'm up for any more challenges.
6. I'm feeling shy and introverted right now.
7. I'm still wondering about my future and how long it will be before things change even more. I feel it coming, I'm still in sort of a limbo stage.
8. I miss some of my old co-worker friends and fear I won't have as much daily freedom.
9. I know it will be lonely for a while until I make new friends, which is hard when you are feeling tired and introverted.
10. Shit, I have to go back to work.

I should be feeling excited and blessed and that there are all these new opportunities, but it's not happening at the moment. Maybe it will change. My mom's friend Cathy perfectly defined when a woman says she's FINE:

Fucked up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional

So, I guess I'm fine. ;-)

Good Signs