Seal Beach

Seal Beach is down in the Long Beach area and it's so adorable. I went into my favorite little surf shop, (almost bought that cute hat) and just walked around and took in the ocean air. Lots of cute dogs at the Crema Cafe.

Prettiest Backyard

The backyard is so cool here. Besides the pool, there is a grapefruit and an orange tree, palms and other various tropical plants. It's so pretty.

I'm headed off to Seal Beach today, so I'll take some pics down there.

Meet Me at the Coffee Bean!

Time for sunning and swimming! Going to nap on the lawn chair for a while, then have some wine and cheese that my mom bought at Costco for us.

The pool always looks so inviting, that's why I'm pointing at it. If you're close by (Lake Forest), email me and we'll meet at the Coffee Bean! That is, if you aren't a maniac psycho, because then we'd have a problem.

Small Heart Attack

I'm here. It's not supposed to be really hot today or tomorrow, but the sunshine sure does feel nice. We got in very early this morning, and I collapsed until a few minutes ago. Don't have an agenda yet.

I may have had a small heart attack earlier. We got off an exit to go grab some coffee and get gas, and it was pitch black with really faded street lines. I got into the left-hand turn lane and ended up going down the wrong side of the road! OMFG! I have never done that before! EVER! I swear it wasn't a blonde driving moment because my mom didn't see it either. I was shaken and decided to kick back for an hour and answer emails by the side of the road.

Juice complained about my toilet pics, so I won't post the latest uber gross rest stop pics I took. I stood OVER the toilet and peed because it was THAT bad. EW. Rest stops in California blow.

Truck Stops Rule

It's huge, OMG! (That's what she said, haha.) I love truck stops. With all the truckers. And big steak.

Steak on the Brain

I have had steak on the brain for about 100 miles now. NEED. STEAK. No more fast food. I scared my mom with my obsession with finding a steakhouse. I was driving and yelling out for keeping eyes peeled. Once we found a sign that said, "STEAK 26 miles", I gunned it. We're here now. Finally.

Santiam Rest Stop

Santiam Rest Stop in Oregon.

Non-descript. Clean enough and roomy. What? Don't you like pictures of toilets?

Oregon

The many faces of boredom. Or batshit crazy. Whichever.

In Oregon now. Which is thrilling. Not.

Rest Stop Reviews

CrazyDogMama's Rest Stop Reviews!

Maytown, just South of Tenino in WA.

Under construction. portable potties only. Neat. They were clean enough and didn't stink, had adequate toilet paper. Very important for us girl-types. Easy to drive in and out of.

Having fun now, wouldn't you say? Stop rolling your eyes. This could be useful to someone. Or entertaining. It's entertaining to me, so shut up. LOL.

Here we go again.

The very familiar trip of 22 hours of driving 80 mph, creepy rest stops, and fast food. I'm stocked up on Rock Stars and Vivarin, and I've already had a triple iced mocha. When I WANT to be sleepy and tired, I can't get that way, but when I DON'T want it, I'm yawning all over the place with heavy eyelids. Figures. My mom is already irritated at me because I'm late. I can't help it, I'm not a morning person. AT ALL.

Just Breathe

One minute I'm fine, and the next minute I'm freaking out. Not knowing things drives me nutty. I've learned to embrace change, but I want to know WHAT the change is. My lack of patience doesn't help. I can't seem to concentrate. I'm in sort of a trance, like 'whatever'. This is big stuff. Everything going on in my life is big stuff. I knew I was at a crossroads; I just didn't realize how big of deal it was going to be. There is also big stuff going on in the world, and all of it combined for me seems a little overwhelming. Just breathe, I tell myself. You can do this. There have been some interesting developments for me; I'll share when I can. For the next week, however, I think I'm just going to try and concentrate on sun and fun with my mom. I'll be leaving quite early, so stay tuned for all my silly blogs.

Roadtrip

Aahh! I'm leaving for California in less than 24 hours, and you wouldn't believe everything I have to do. Have I packed? Of course not! Also, I can't believe how much not having a home computer is making my life difficult, especially RIGHT NOW when I need it the most! Anyone have a grand I could borrow?

The Refiner's Fire

OK, really, I'm trying NOT to stress. There is nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself this. I honestly can't say much (non-disclosure stuff), but I may be laid-off before the end of the month. It would have nothing to do with my performance, but the economy/market. I have no idea what I will do because the job market sucks right now, and my field is very narrow. I really do believe things happen for a reason (when it is beyond your control) so I'm trying to think of it as fate, whatever happens. With everything I've gone through in the last year, it kind of feels like a sucker-punch, but maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. Who knows. It is the not knowing that is the worst part.

I have never been without a job. I have never collected unemployment. I haven't had more than 2 weeks off in a row since I was 16 years old, and I'll be 37 in November. I don't know how to feel right now. My whole life has gone AWOL in the last year. Guess it was time to shake things up! It is amazing to me how so many things can happen in such a short amount of time, and how the littlest things can throw your life off balance. I have recently experienced feelings I don't know what to do with, and emotions I didn't know existed. I've had many sleepless nights and panic attacks. Now that I've learned how to deal with all of that, I think I may be ready for whatever it is I was being prepared for. The refiner's fire?

Beauty is pain.

Just call me Blondie! It glows in the dark. Hehe. In the pic where I look like a sheep dog from Outerspace, that is the front of my face. I had to sit with my hair over my face (with foils in it), for like, 3 hours. Beauty is pain.

Naked in the Jungle

Wow, have I had a bad day. I won't be able to talk about it until I know more, but it could really impact my life, and soon. Seriously. Talk about your life being upside down, I'm already out of my comfort zone from some other big things happening in my life, and this would really put me out there naked in the jungle so to speak. Dang.

I am going to go use my salon gift certificate to get my hair done. I'm in a major haze right now and my mind is going a billion miles an hour. I guess you could say that 2008 was the year Cheryl got her ass kicked up one side and down the other. The year of change. I'm facing a great many unknowns at this time about my future. I mean, no one knows what the future really holds, but I can't say with any degree of confidence that ANYTHING in my life will be the same come 2009.

The Best Things In Life

A good night's sleep.

Laughing so hard your tummy hurts.

A hot shower on a cold morning.

Warm, fresh cookies (or cinnamon rolls) from the oven.

A kiss that makes your heart skip a beat.

A call from an old friend out of the blue.

Helping someone.

Waterfalls.

Smiling at someone, and they smile back.

Playing with a puppy.

A kind word.

Someone running their fingers through your hair.

The smell of the ocean.

A really fun rollercoaster.

Making new friends.

Good wine (and someone great to share it with).

Colorful sunsets and clear starry nights.

Diving into a warm pool at night.

A really good meal.

Good coffee.

Good conversation.

Finishing a project you worked hard on.

Massages (giving AND receiving).

Taking a risk.

Being really super sappy on your dumb blog.

I need cinnamon rolls.

I am craving cinnamon rolls. I just finished watching "Two and a Half Men" and Charlie was attempting to open a tube of cinnamon rolls and ever since I have had cinnamon rolls on the brain. I need them. NEED. Have I mentioned that I want hot, gooey cinnamon rolls? I really want a fucking cinnamon roll. But I don't want to get up. Sometimes living far from the store sucks.

Did anyone catch "Big Bang Theory" tonight? Funny. They didn't have cinnamon rolls though. I could die if I don't get one. I am going to go to bed now and dream of cinnamon rolls.

Monday Tidbits

I saw a grown man, perhaps 40-ish, running down the highway this morning. RUNNING. With a briefcase that he was swinging spastically; tie flying sideways. I laughed. It was funny looking. Nothing is so important that I would run down the highway like that. But that's just me. No one was chasing him with a chainsaw or anything.

I am wearing high heels today, and one of the heels got stuck in the thread of the carpet and I fell up against my cubical wall almost knocking it down. (Karma for laughing at the poor business guy?)

Have you seen the movie "Forrest Gump"? Do you remember how he said "Jenny"? (JEN-NAY in the Forrest Gump voice.) My co-worker (and friend) is named Jenny and I love to say her name like Forrest. She LOVES it when I do that. Not. "JEN-NAY can you help me with the cop-eee-err?" I crack myself up. She is not amused. She might hit me next time.

I went and got a Bonzai Burger from the Red Robin restaurant today at lunch. I got it 'to go' and ate it in my car. How sad is that?

I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in my new coat. I will be sending it back. Why is it never the other way around? (Like a coat that makes me look like a super model.) Sheesh. Seriously, I looked funny. I'm stylin' in my new purple baby-doll top, though. I've sent back many things and kept a few. I'm proud of myself. A little.

I'm getting my hair cut/colored tomorrow. I am tossing around the idea of buying a coffee and replacing the coffee with wine while I get my hair done. All sneaky moto. Not because I'm an alcoholic, but because getting your hair-colored takes FOREVER and it is not exciting. They let you drink on an airplane, why not a salon?

Darkest just before the dawn.

I think I have figured out why I can't sleep. I wish it was as simple as too much caffeine. It is always darkest just before the dawn. I'm bracing myself.

The Final Result

Baked ham in a brown sugar glaze. So yummy. Someone else can do the dishes.

Ham, Dogs, and Dirty Dishes, Part 2

Ham, Dogs, and Dirty Dishes, Part 1

I have dogs to feed, dishes to do, and ham to cook. I will have ham coming out of my ears, but it sounded good. Pairing it with garlic mashed potatoes & asparagus. I've been battling another damn headache today. I don't know what is up with me and the headaches lately. I think I need to go to the chiropractor. He is not a typical chiropractor, he only adjusts one bone in the neck, and you don't feel a thing! The technique is called "NUCCA", and it is a pure miracle from Heaven. I only have to visit him about every six months instead of twice a week at a regular chiropractor that doesn't fix the root of the problem. It used to scare the living crap out of me when they would yank my head around. Forget that!

Speaking of TMI

I DO use restraint in case you were wondering. You wouldn't believe what I'd REALLY like to say. But I can't tell you EVERYTHING that goes through this mind of mine, or everything that is going on in my life. There is indeed some mystery and secrecy to me that will never come out on the blog, sorry. That's too personal.

Cognac & TMI

Just took a nice hot shower and now I'm relaxing with a glass of cognac. I'm a little bored. I've been a little bored all day. I couldn't even come up with something interesting to blog about. I still can't. Had pot roast for dinner. I may watch that Jodie Foster movie where she is a vigilante or some such shit.

I sort of had a sex dream last night. Too much info? That's me, TMI girl. I just say what you WANT to say, but don't. I'll spare you the details.

House Loop

So far today I've gone from the bed to the frig to the couch, on repeat. It's like a house loop. I'm running out of places to go. And you wonder why I get excited about road trips.

Scary Man

One of my Halloween props. I call him "Scary Man". He's animated. You guys think I'm weird, huh?

I am actually IN bed right now blogging on the Crackberry without my glasses on. Lou is cuddled up next to me and keeps looking up at me wondering what the hell I'm doing. I would love to know what goes on in his little fuzzy head. It's probably something along the lines of "Put that damn thing down woman and scratch my belly!"

This time next week I'll be driving thru Northern California! I get very little to look forward to, so I get excited about dumb stuff.

A little diversion.

I got permission to take a few days off to go to California. Yay! I don't really want my mom to drive down alone this time of year, and she has to go down for some estate matters, so we're making the road trip together in her little truck. It will be a little cramped, but we'll get some good girl-time in. We're leaving next Friday, then I have to fly back on Wednesday. It's not a long trip, but we always drive straight through, which will at least give me 4 days of sunbathing and swimming! I guess I'll be a tan vampire this year. LOL. It was very warm there in the last week, in the 90's. It is pouring down rain here. This will give me a nice little diversion from my routine.

Also, I have to mention that I am having MAJOR hot flashes today. What is up with THAT?

State of the Union

I just woke up with a start and felt compelled to write this. The situation facing our nation is very serious. I am not afraid, nor is this what "keeps me awake" at night. I am just here to warn you that things are very precarious, and to prepare the best you can for the inevitable crash. If you pray, I would do it now.

I will be biting necks.

I just bought a vampire costume for my Halloween Party. I got a black hooded velvet cape, some realistic glue-on fangs (doesn't affect talking and eating) and some blood-red lipstick. My house will be decorated to the hilt, too. I still know how to have fun. Damnit.

Need Laptop Ideas

Despite all the good, I still don't sleep, as you may have noticed from the time on my last post. I really don't know what to do about that one except try to exercise a lot.

Anyway, I'm researching laptops. So far, I like the Sony's and the Toshiba's. I love the new attributes! The resolution is so clear and colorful! I guess mine was pretty old. Shiny new toys make me happy!

Anyone have an opinion on good laptops? Don't ignore my questions like you usually do, I really need some help here!

I'm not invisible anymore.

Remember I told you I was going through some significant personal changes? Well, apparently people are noticing something different about me/my life of late. I have been getting some very interesting (and sometimes entertaining) comments. Let me list some of those out for you:

"What's going on with you?"
"You look really good today; do you have an interview or a hot date or something?" (No, I'm married.)
"You have really come out of your shell."
"There's a new glow or something about you, what's UP?" (That's when I have to explain I'm not pregnant, GOD no.)
"Glad to see you getting out there." (Where am I going?)
"You seem happier or something, are you high?" (LOL!)

Most of the time I just smile shyly like I have a secret. Maybe I do.

Dead Laptop

Crap. Laptop is fried. Figures. Now I'm going to have deal with Windows Vista. Something is always broken, ever notice that? You fix one thing and then something else goes. ARG.

Two quick things.

Y'all need to keep fingers and toes crossed today. I talked to a computer guy on the phone, and he said either my adapter is toast, or my laptop is toast. The adapter is only $100, but I'd have to sell a kidney right now to get a new computer. I guess I could wait until I got my bonus at Christmas, but that is a LONG time to be without a computer! You all know how I love my digital pictures and Adobe Photoshop. I also have the patience of a starving bear.

The other thing is, I am really busy at work right now getting ready for an audit in November, but I'd really like to take a short trip to California with my mom for some girl time in mid-October. PRAY I can haul some serious ass and get stuff done so I can go! I would love that so much!

Compliments

I received a really nice compliment from a coworker yesterday and I wanted to express my gratitude. I'm not used to so many compliments, but they mean a lot, and I am grateful. Kindness is hard to come by in this life, and I don't believe it gets enough attention. I was told by this person that when our company sells that they would be highly recommending me at other companies because I was so good at what I did. WOW. How nice!

What is going on with me.

So, what is going on with me besides brainwave stabilization? Well, my dance card has been full this week. Out to coffee last night, dinner with mom tomorrow, out with the girls on Thursday and hopefully getting my hair done and then a date with cognac on Friday. I'm tired already.

Brainwave Stabilization

After my minor meltdown the other day, I experienced what I call 'dead calm'. Everything that had been haunting me and puzzling me, came into focus. My emotions stopped, and my brain started. Everything was suddenly (eerily) crystal clear to me. I have been "calm, cool and collected" ever since. Even at this moment. What seemed so impossible to me before, doesn't seem so complicated now. I don't know why. Perhaps I'm using the left half of my brain more?

I don't go to therapy much anymore, but I did go today, and she said some things to me that made me feel pretty good. She told me that despite all the difficulties and tragedy that I have been through in such a short period of time, that I have progressed in mental "maturity" at a staggering rate. My thinking is different. She said she has never had a client that tackled their challenges so forcefully and successfully, so quickly. My brain waves were the most calm and stable today since I started therapy (EEG Biofeedback), which means I am finally operating without debilitating anxiety and fear. I was extremely calm, logical and rational (I know, I know, you don't believe it.). I was actually articulating my thought process well. I still have some "life navigating" to do (don't we all), but it is controlled and thought-out now, rather than a jumble of ideas rattling around going nowhere.

She could have just been pumping sunshine up my ass to boost my esteem, but truly, for the first time, maybe EVER, I feel like I'm finally moving forward in my life with a lot more confidence, and a lot less crazy. And I'm not taking any crap. Look out world.

Significant Personal Challenges

I'm sorry my blogging sucks right now. I'll do the best I can, as often as I can, but I am facing significant personal challenges/changes at the moment, and I can't talk about it in much detail online.

Long Shower

I just got out of a really long, hot shower. I never do that. I just sat on the side of the tub and let the water fall on top of me for an hour. Is that weird?

Meltdown

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Meltdown. It started about 2:30 am. I don't know how much I want to talk about it, but there was crying and yelling. Frustration. There is no point in getting up today, but I have to. Life goes on, like it or not. My marriage is in trouble. I need a hug. Well, I need more than a hug, but I'll take what I can get.

Too Much Crab

Speaking of eating, I just ate entirely too much crab. I feel sick. It's not good. Aren't you glad I'm telling you about it? Maybe I should go for a walk or something. This is when I need a beach. A nice walk along the surf would be nice right about now.

Future is so bright, I gotta wear shades?

Something Strange

I wake up with a voracious appetite. And I mean voracious! Most people I know don't even eat breakfast, and certainly aren't starving when they wake up. I could eat a steak dinner when I wake up. It's weird, no? During the week I don't get up with enough time to eat, but on the weekends I go straight to the frig. Is there anyone else out there like this? Probably not. LOL.

Help Me!

My computer DIED. It is completely fried. It worked fine yesterday, and today it won't turn on AT ALL. It's like no power is getting to it. I know the power works on the outlet because my printer and scanner still come on, but the computer is just pitch black. I've checked to make sure everything is plugged in, and it is, but if the power pack (adapter) died, then the battery source should kick in, right? Unless they are both fried. I don't know what to do. Should I take it to the shop? Just buy a new power pack and battery? I can't afford a new laptop. SHIT! Thank God for the Crackberry! But I can't do anything with my digital pics, or get to my online banking. This sucks the big one. HELP ME!

Best Fajitas

"Mi Tierra" has the best fajitas, hands down! How boring do you have to be to take a pic of your dinner every night? Gah. Sorry guys, I'm TRYING to get a life. LOL.

Thrill a minute.

My new earrings. It's a thrill a minute around here. Fuck, is there anyone even out there? Hello?

If I could be doing anything.

This is what I would want to be doing. I don't know who these people are, I just like the photo. I wonder if it is authentic or staged. This is one of my dreams. Maybe someday.

Breakfast Kick

I did something really bad. I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. The shame. I've been on this breakfast kick for some reason. I don't know. Now the grease ball is sitting in my stomach like a meteorite. UG. Why do we do these things to ourselves? McDonald's is the devil.

Breakfast for dinner!

Yup, that is ketchup on my hashbrowns. You HAVE to have ketchup on hashbrowns. My mom and I went to a pancake house for dinner. I of course had to have eggs benedict. I'm getting in trouble for blogging. Apparently its rude. Go figure.

Dogtown and Dancing

On the lighter side of life, I love the National Geographic channel. "Dogtown" will MELT your heart! If it wasn't in Utah, I think I would volunteer there! They help dogs who have been deemed "unhelpable". It is the coolest place EVER. Dogs are so awesome.

One other thing, shh, don't tell anyone, I have agreed to watch "Dancing with the Stars" with my friends Juice and Hole next Thursday night. Hehe. I told them we should practice during commercials. NO, there will be no video.

Got Chili?

This is a great spicy chili recipe!

It works best to cook it in a big soup pot, or Dutch oven. Make sure your ingredients are the highest quality you can find/afford.

Also, I don't always use beans. I actually prefer chili "Texas Style" with all meat. If you go for that, just up the amount of beef/sausage you use to compensate.

This recipe is popular at potlucks, but in that case I take it down a notch with the spices. At home, it is no-holds-barred!

1.5 lbs. ground beef (lean)
1 lb. ground Italian sausage (sweet or spicy)
3 onions, chopped
2 jalapeños (fresh), chopped
1 cup red wine
1 cup water
2 8 oz. cans tomato paste
28 oz. of whole tomatoes, diced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 15 oz. can kidney beans
1 15 oz. can chili beans OR black beans
1/4 cup chili powder (I use spicy)
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tbsp oregano
1 tbsp basil
1 tsp cumin
1 tbsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt

Brown ground beef, sausage, onion and garlic, then drain. Add all other ingredients and simmer on medium heat for 20 minutes, then turn to low and simmer for 1 and a half hours, stirring occasionally. Serve with a dollop of sour cream and shredded cheese.

Makes 12 servings.

Sometimes I add chopped green peppers and tarragon. Use warm tortillas to dip! YUMMY.

Mailbag

Many of you would like to know what is meant by my new mantra at the top "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.", so instead of answering a bunch of individual emails about it, I thought I'd post about it. I found this statement by accident, really, but I thought it was profound and that it had much truth to it. To me it means to "die to self", so you can live in Christ. It is a Christian thing, but the actual quote came from a Jewish man named Morrie Schwartz from his book "Tuesdays with Morrie".

Here are some excerpts to give you a general idea:

"By living each day as if it could be our last, we relate to each life experience passionately, powerfully, and memorably."

"Have you ever experienced something so memorable that it is impossible to forget it? Most of us forget a large percentage of the people we meet, the places we go, the events we experience. But certain things stick out in our minds and are never forgotten. Why? What's special about those memorable times?"

"There don't seem to be too many days or happenings that we lock in like this. How can we produce more experiences and days to be lived as powerfully? Morrie tells us: Learn how to die, and you learn how to live."

Thoughts

Because people generally don't talk about it, I've often wondered about it. What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning? What is the last thing you think about when you go to bed? What dominates your thoughts during the day?

I know everyone has to focus on work or tasks, family matters, that sort of thing, but I suspect, unless I am a complete freak, that other things creep in there, maybe thoughts that repeat themselves for you privately each day.

If you were on a secluded beach somewhere right now, with no worries of finances or work or family, what would your thoughts land on? Where would your mind wander to?

I don't expect you to answer, of course, but because I find myself going back to certain thoughts so frequently (that aren't just the day's agenda) I thought I would put it out there for you to ponder as well. What did reading this post make you think of? You never know, it could be really important!

Anyway, happy thoughts to you!

Bling Mail!

I love getting mail! Especially when it is jewelry made special for me!

Here is my new Crackberry charm and matching earrings! (Because that is important.) Yes, I know this is what 12-year-old girls do, but I don't care, you see. I don't want to grow up. Growing up sucks. Getting these, made my crappy day just a little better! I'm sparkly now and hip with the youth. HA. Not so much. I'm just an old fart looking silly.

OMG, where is the liquor?

Busy, stupid, hair-pulling Monday. Every two minutes someone was bellowing, "Are you done with that yet?" into my cubical. Which I love. But now it's over. Thank God.

For the end of my day? A doctor's appointment. Joy. I am asking for drugs. All they can say is no, and they probably will, but I'm going to try.

My mom surprised me and came to take me to lunch. It was very sweet, and an escape for a while was much needed. Thanks Ma! I had a chicken sammy, and an iced mocha.

Oh, how I miss the pool.

This is a shot I took at night that I thought turned out cool. It looks so inviting to me. I really miss the pool, and the warm summer nights.

It is cold, dark and rainy today and I'm sitting by the window drinking some coffee. Maybe I'll put some Bailey's in it.

When you go in the pool at night, at first it is a little cold, but then it soon feels like a bathtub, and you don't want to get out. I don't know why I like that so much, but I do. Anyway, I am daydreaming about it. One day it won't be a daydream. Maybe many things won't.

Doorjamb

I just woke up, walked down the hallway, and ever so gracefully SLAMMED MY FOOT INTO THE DOORJAMB. Yep, I'm all ready for fight club, and I'm starting with the doorjamb. DAMN that hurts!

Not a good start to the day. Maybe I'll go slam my fingers in the front door next.

Funny

This struck me funny; I don't know why.

At a car dealership:

Customer: "I think there is something wrong with my brakes."

Service guy: "What is going on with them?"

Customer: "They no longer stop the car."

LOL!

This day just needs to end now.

Well, I came home from work and crashed hard. One of those don't even take your clothes off kind of crashing. Just woke up and now I'm hungry and will be up all night. How retarded can you get? Guess it's time for a horror movie night.

Everything I touched today at work was a problem. Ever had one of those days? It was almost funny at a certain point.

Now Louie just puked all over the floor. Super. I'm thinking this day just needs to end now.

Completely Different People Now

A very nice dinner with my mom tonight. We sat next to this cozy fireplace and ate entirely too much tasty food. We discussed some deep topics. Many things have happened to us both (internally) in the last several months. This time last year I was a completely different person than I am now. Too much to go into on a blog, but important to note, nonetheless.

Martini's & Lips

Martini night fun. Great friends, great conversation, great time. (I'm still banging my head against the table from the political discussion, though, hehe.) Juice, you'll have to bring Matt next time so I can have somebody in my corner.

Yes, I posted some silly pics. I was bored in the car. We have, "Pucker up and show off the new lip gloss lips", "Trying to be the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips", "Happy thoughts", and "Deer in the headlights". My martini cohorts, Annie and Amy, and my chili pepper lights in the tree.

Pissy Morning Face

Going out with the girls tonight for $3 martini night. Woohoo!

My face will look a lot different then, right now I need caffeine.

A Not-So-Girly Post

I made a breakthrough in therapy today. Finally. This should have been a big "DUH", but it wasn't. I've been making all these changes lately, right? Making some tough decisions, preparing to move away from everything and everyone I know, taking better care of myself, etc. Those are great, but I've still been feeling depressed and stuck and, here's the epiphany. I'm bored! My therapist listened to me today and all of a sudden started flipping through her notes and looked up and said, "You need some stimulation!" I said, "Excuse me?" (LOL) She said you are a 100% adrenaline junkie who has been sitting at home, only occasionally getting out. She said someone like me will never be happy unless I'm stimulating my "adrenaline" somehow. She said I also need to get out and meet people, isolating is a big danger for me. We talked about some things I might be able to do right away, and we came up with one possibility. Boxing Club. That's right, boxing. I used to belong about 8 years ago but had to quit because I was working about 80 hours a week at two jobs. Now I'm not. Boxing is a hoot! It is the BEST workout you will EVER get, and the people there were so nice. One of the guys there told me I have a great right hook.

I hope I can do it. It will take some of the doldrums out and get my blood pumping again. I'll definitely sleep better. GUAR-AN-TEED. Have you ever tried boxing a round? I run out of oxygen in about 45 seconds with sweat POURING off of me. (I know that doesn't sound feminine, but boxing makes you look great naked.) So, let's recap. I'm bored. The solution? Hit people and get kicked in the head. Perfect. If I do it, you will be seeing some pretty entertaining pictures. I'm probably going to have to eat less cheese, though.

Enchiladas & Dead Like Me

Gaze your eyes upon my dinner of cheese. CrazyDogMama's enchiladas. I'm going to watch a rerun of "Dead Like Me" and devour some of these.

Spiders, Fog & Louie

There was a spider blocking the entrance to my car on the way to the GYM. I freaked out and had 100 lb. JENNY kill it for me. I know, an ex-cop afraid of spiders. They make me nuts. I almost shot one once.

My assessment of the fog this morning. Visibility: Not far.

Louie now stands OVER his water dish to eat. He is a truly bizarre dog.

Magnetic Spice Canisters

Everyone needs these. Magnetic spice cannisters for the frig. They are AWESOME. It frees up space in the pantry, and no more hunting for the right spice! I know you will immediately run out and get them.

There is one problem, though. If you are OCD like me, and just one of them gets out of place? Yeah. That's the downside.

Texas?

I guess you could say this is the "same old stuff", but with new info and a twist. Back to Texas talk. California is pretty much out of the picture completely. I don't want to get into the why's, but it is. I am really thinking more and more that I want to try San Antonio. Everything I read about it flips my lid. I know, I know, every single person I tell this to looks at me like I am one sandwich short of a picnic, but seriously? Texas actually fits my personality perfectly. Many people don't know me as well as they think they do. I am a red-meat-eating, sun-basking, thunderstorm-loving, conservative, bible-belt sort of girl who (sorry Nichole) doesn't always recycle properly. (You all know I think we are going to die in a nuclear war anyway, which won't be doing the environment any good.) Flooding? The town I live in floods every single year because the river overflows. BAD. And not only that, but the snow also makes for 9-hour (no joke) commutes in the winter. Snow was fun when I was a kid, but it sucks when you have to drive in it. Bugs? Orkin man. Air conditioning bill? I pay $500 bucks a month NOW in the winter for heat, and almost that much in the summer because I'm constantly watering the million miles of grass I have. (Don't tell my mom.) But you see, there is one thing here. In Texas, my house would be nicer and cheaper (and WILL have a pool) and I could probably make the same amount of money working. So, to me, that is a big difference. I have at 1042 sq. ft house right now, with no fireplace, no pool, made like crap, and my mortgage is almost 2K a month. The housing market is WAY out of control. It is ridiculous. I had to move an hour away from EVERYTHING just to afford what I have.

I've been looking on the internet, and with the equity I would pull away + my stock payout when my job ends, I'd be looking at about a $600 dollar mortgage. BIG difference, no?

Here is a perfect example of a house I would LOVE. 

I've also been looking up the 'culture' in San Antonio and it seems really neat. Fun, friendly people, big festivals (Niosa), etc. In Seattle, if you smile at someone, they glare at you. Generally, people think I'm out of my mind when I strike up conversations with strangers here. You know, the funny thing is, everyone thinks I just came up with Texas out of the blue in the last few months, but the truth is, I've been thinking about it now for around three or four years - ever since I had a dream that I moved there. I just didn't tell anyone.

Anyway, I'm in limbo right now, and I'm making lots of personal changes, but the long and short of it is that no matter how much changing I do here, I'm still in a rut. I've lived here all of my life (except 6 years in California when I was born) and it is time to go. I need to leave some things/memories behind here and start a new life. I wish it would start sooner, but the timing of all things will work out just the way they are supposed to. So, until then, I'll just continue to "clean things up" here and improve myself the best I can until my real adventure starts. Yes, I know about Hurricane Ike. My heart and prayers go out to all affected.

Excited

I just checked my "Aveda Awards" points and didn't realize how many I had racked up! I just sent for my free spa day and hair service. I'm going to get a new "do" and color. I'm keeping it long and blonde (of course) but I need to be a little more up to date with style. As some of you know, I am reinventing myself and starting fresh with many parts of my life right now, so this is a great addition. I love anything Aveda, and since I buy shampoo, conditioner, tea, makeup and get all of my hair care, etc. done in their salon, I get LOTS of points pretty quickly.

I also decided to order some clothes anyway because they have a nice payment deferral program from the place I like to order. I hate to do that, but I'm on a roll here, and I've waited a lifetime to pamper myself. So, the hell with it.

Perfect Combo

Well, I managed to get myself up. The dogs were freaking out, it was funny, licking my face and whining. They are no help.

I made some cookies and am watching the Bridges of Madison County. Such a great movie, the acting is superb, and I always cry at the end. It is so bittersweet. I think the conversations they have are so human and real, and I love it when she comes downstairs in the dress. If you haven't seen it, or haven't seen it in a long time, go rent it or something. Trust me. Make cookies to go with it, it's the perfect combo.

I've fallen and I can't get up.

You are not going to believe this. I was taking a nap and the phone rang, the regular land line one. It startled me and as I reached over for it, I fell out of bed. I tweaked the hell out of my back and can't get up. Seriously. If the Crackberry hadn't of fallen off my nightstand on top of me, I wouldn't be blogging.

I am by myself right now, so this is fun. It is not bad enough to call 911 or make anyone drive all the way out here, I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've hurt my back. It's just annoying. As soon as I can get up, I'll ice it and take some Aleve. That usually works. I feel really stupid.