All of that, to get to all of this.

I know I have zero regular readers left since I abandoned this blog 8 years ago, but I recently revisited this place to take a look back at my life.  I almost deleted the whole thing, all 12 years' worth of content, because I am such a different person now!  BUT then, I started thinking.  Being able to see the change in myself over all of this time is a true, real & raw testimony!  Something happened to me that rocked me to my very core (literally) and everything is different now.  And I mean EVERYTHING.  I am no longer the cynical, negative, foul-mouthed, confused and depressed girl you may read about in the archives of this blog.  I was so lost, so damaged, and so very sad all the time.  I am nowhere near perfect now, by any means, but my HEART has been changed. 

I am not a different person because of anything I did or learned. My change was, and is, supernatural.  I had an encounter with the Lord (unexpectedly) in July of 2020, while meditating (of all things), and it was so profound, that I shook and cried for 3 days.  I got on my knees, made a choice and surrendered to God, fully.  He came and got this lost sheep.  I was in bad shape, involved in New Age (yoga, meditation, etc.), lustful & perverted living, blasphemous in my speech, and steeped deep into darkness in every way; not to mention angry and stressed out most of the time.  All of that is GONE now!  Jesus Christ is no joke, my friends.  He is real, He is alive, and He is AWESOME!  I know, I know, you probably want to roll your eyes - another Jesus Freak is born.  But it's not like that.  I'm actually a changed person.  Don't worry, I haven't lost my sense of humor, but I tell you the truth, I have PEACE.  I have JOY for the first time in my life!  REAL peace & joy - not the fake, temporal kind. No, my life is not perfect, nor am I.  Everyone is on a journey of their own, but I'm telling you right now, it's serious business.  This world is sick and dying.  Have you seen the news?  I have no fear of any of it.  Because I know who my strength is.  I know whom I belong to.  Do you?

I read recently that "Dooce", a blogger that inspired me way back in 2003 (see my links on the sidebar), committed suicide in May of this year.  I did not know Heather personally, but I followed her regularly for many years, and her struggles with depression, anxiety and alcohol.  When I heard the news, I was profoundly sad.  It hit me hard.  It made me come back to this place (the blogosphere) where we all shared the details of our lives with the world.  Blogs are not always just words on page.  Take a look back at who I was.  If you want to talk to me, or ask me any questions, I'm here. I care.  I want this blog, and all this work of pouring out my soul, to mean something. Feel free to comment or email me at crazydogmama@gmail.com.

I do have another website (see previous post), but I'm still working on making some changes to it to reflect my full testimony and information about what I am doing now.  If you are reading this, and have gotten this far, it's no accident.  Our lives have a real purpose.  Many blessings to you.

-Cheryl a.k.a CrazyDogMama