Stupid MRI Tubes

I almost did not have an MRI today. Um, that little, tiny LONG tube that they put you in headfirst on your back? Yeah, NO F'ing WAY! I tried to be tough and brave, I really did. I actually got all the way inside that thing before freaking out. I pep-talked myself that I could do this. I couldn't. My shoulders are too wide to fit in the MRI tube, so they made me raise my arms over my head. Once inside, my shoulders were pressing against the sides of the tube, and also against my ears, the top of the tube was TOUCHING MY NOSE, and my hips were squished against the sides too. I totally and completely panicked and yelled to be taken out. I was sweating and hyperventilating. Right now, just typing this, my heart is racing, and I have that punch in the pit of the stomach feeling. I apologized profusely to the tech, but I'm sorry, that was ridiculously crazy! He was really nice and said most people can't do it and that it was totally fine. He gave me two other options (THANK GOD) of sedation or what they call an "open" MRI. I said no to sedation, what if I woke up? NOPE. So, I went with the open MRI. MUCH BETTER. They had to send me to another facility, but I'm so glad it worked out. The open MRI is like a giant hamburger bun, with the sides open. I was cool with that and actually fell asleep. Whew!! I'm going to have nightmares about that other one.

Now it's hurry up and wait. Do I have a herniated disc or what? I want to know NOW! I want it FIXED! Krzysztof says I will be back at training soon, but I'm so scared they will tell me I shouldn't train.  This whole disability thing doesn't work for me. I will find a way damnit!