Big Changes!

The first couple of photos are the old kitchen and family room, with popcorn ceilings, an olive-green tile countertop, a hanging wicker light, grass wallpaper, wood paneling, dirty carpeting, an ancient television, furniture that has seen better days, gold picture frames, plastic panel lighting over the kitchen, and appliances from the 60's and 70's.

In the rest of the photos, you'll see a much-needed remodel with a new leather couch, an electric fireplace, a big HD Smart TV, new paint, crown molding, recess lighting, laminate flooring, black granite countertops, and a new sink/gas stove/dishwasher/faucet. It turned out beautiful!

Stress Less, Weigh Less

I've been focusing more on peacefulness and happiness rather than just straight weight loss. Honestly, I think it is half the battle. Holly Mosier agrees with me. I picked up this book at Costco, but I've actually met her. She owns the boxing gym I go to here in LA.  A very gorgeous 49-year-old woman.

Yes, eating right and working out hard is necessary too, but if you are all stressed out and unhappy, you get nowhere. TRUST ME. When I first moved here, my cortisol levels were through the roof!  It has taken me a year to fix my thinking and chill out, and a bunch of weight fell off. Not all of it, but a good start.  When you are happy, people gravitate to you, too. I just talked to John who is all stressed at the moment and the first thing he said was he wished he was here with me because he doesn't feel stressed when he is around me. I think it was our third date when he hugged me, laid his head on me and said, "I just wanna BE with you."  It made me feel so good. Probably why I like him so much.

Anyway, it is a process, and it doesn't come naturally, but it does work if you keep trying. I played with a Cairn Terrier puppy yesterday. My mom thought it would wig me out and make me start crying, but it didn't. Puppies are good for the soul! Then I went to see "Super 8". Fun flick! I took some pics of the new kitchen and family room. I will post them later.

3 Men and a Crazydogmama

OK, it's kinda 4 men now, but then the title wouldn't be so brilliant. An explanation? No, I'm not a Ho. Well, I guess if I slept around I would be, but I don't. So there!

John is great. I am incredibly attracted to him. He is totally sweet and fun. One problem. He is kinda AWOL between dates. Not much communication. I don't know what he is up to and I don't ask, but my intuition tells me he is a bit of a playboy. I could be wrong, but I haven't been yet so I listen to myself. I am giving him the benefit of the doubt for now because he is, well, a GUY, and he has had car trouble lately (apparently), but the whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing was never truly discussed soberly so I'm not closing down my inbox just yet. and WOW. As soon as you start dating someone you are really into, the pheromones start pumping out through the top of your head, and all the dogs come running to sniff, I tell ya!

Joe is back in my life (kinda). James won't give up. And, Mike, he be the new guy. My mom said, "Are you in some kind of love triangle?" to which I replied "Uh, no, it would be a love pentagon."

Never in ALL my life did I EVER think any kind of scenario even REMOTELY close to this was possible for me! Wheeeeeeee! :-)

Thank GOD I live with my mother.

I know there are women out there balancing a career, children, a household and a social life, and quite frankly I don't know how you do it! I am only balancing a career, a social/dating life and occasionally I do stuff around the house like a load of laundry. I am busy ALL THE TIME and there is no way in HELL I could do it alone. I don't know how I did it when I was married. Well, I didn't, really, that was all an epic failure as you can read about the archives.

Mom, thank you for all you do! She does the grocery shopping, most of the cleaning, the watering, and is managing the house remodel and takes care of the dogs. She is also my receptionist, counselor and event coordinator. I am not embarrassed to admit any of this, because it is just the plain truth.

My mother is an amazing woman and I love her so much! Go mom!

Yes ma, I'll clean my room. :-)

Out with my peeps.

Mailbag

I thought I would take the time today to share some of my responses to emails of late.

Question: "Wow! You get a lot of dates! What is your secret to attracting so many men? I am recently divorced also, and I think I'm pretty, but I hardly ever get asked out."

Answer: "Hi, thanks for emailing!" I have to admit, this question shocked me! I see my love life and experiences with men as a disaster from the word go, and to think that someone feels I have a "secret" when it comes to men is such a compliment, so thank you! I guess I would have to say this is what is working for me: Be happy with exactly who you are and exude that confidence. Have a busy life full of things YOU want to do, don't wait around and pine for men. Have no expectations, enjoy each moment for what it is; not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Smile A LOT and have fun *consistently*, men hate moody women. Don't be a man-hater. Men are great! They are a lot of fun and they have emotions and feelings just like women. DO NOT ASK MEN OUT, AND DO NOT CALL THEM, EMAIL THEM OR TEXT THEM UNLESS IN RESPONSE. LET THEM PURSUE YOU. (This is a really important one that I learned the hard way.) Look the best you can each day but do it for yourself. I am not thin. I am not the prettiest girl out there. I don't have the most expensive clothes or jewelry, but I think I get asked out because I know who I am, am laid back and friendly, and I'm not desperate or needy. NO DRAMA! A nickel's worth of free advice: If you don't get called, or asked out again, it isn't rejection, it is simply that he didn't feel a "connection". It isn't his fault OR YOURS, it just wasn't meant to be. I hope this helps!! Good luck!"

Question: "I just read through quite a few of your blog posts and see that you have truly been thru a lot of crap! You have (are) handling it so well (it seems). How did you cope with so much so gracefully?"

Answer: "Hi, thank you so much for the nice compliment, and thanks for writing! Well, honestly, it hasn't all been so graceful on my part. I had some pretty major meltdowns, and some days it was an effort just to get up and breathe. I was in intensive therapy for about a year, and I had the BEST therapist EVER. He helped me so much. I tried to focus on the fact that no one is out to get me. I am not cursed. Life just happens. There is nothing wrong with me, and I'm not unlucky. I've made mistakes and so what, everyone does. I've learned from them. Life is too short to be angry or jaded or depressed because I truly believe all the people who have crossed my path blessed me in some way. I am the person I am today because of ALL the things in my life. I have no regrets. I honestly hope my ex is happy, I miss all my loved ones who have passed away, but I know they are no longer in pain, and they have left me with love and good memories. I have all the reasons in the world to be happy and hopeful about the future and I am continuing to better myself in some way on a daily basis.

Oh, you wanna know how the date went, dontcha?

I know you are all on pins and needles, well, because my life is just so damn interesting. Ha!

Well, we watched the sunset AND the sunrise. ;-) Yes, it was a very nice and romantic evening to which my heart fluttered every time he kissed me and touched my face. The beach was beautiful and quaint. I am enjoying every minute of this and not letting myself get wrapped up in any expectations. I don't spend time analyzing what his intentions with me are, and I'm not asking. There is no hurry; if it works out, it works out, if it doesn't, it doesn't, although I do really like him and have incredible chemistry with him. He is a very good looking, successful 46-year-old man who says all the right stuff, does all the right stuff, who has never been married and has no kids, so being certain that he is my knight in shining armor would be a little unrealistic and stupid on my part, I think. I am not even 100% certain of our status as a couple, and that's OK. He keeps calling me, he keeps asking me out, and apparently, he thinks of me as a "goddess".

As we were checking out the beach scene, a group of VERY attractive women walked by us.

Me: "WOW."
John: "Yeah, they're hot, but you're a goddess."
Me: (smiling) "A goddess? Uh huh, yeah."
John: "Don't kid yourself. I'm a guy, and trust me, you are incredibly sexy. That, along with intelligent, successful, fun and a total sweetheart."
Me: (Somewhat speechless) "Um, well, thanks. I've been called a lot of things; Goddess is a first."
John: "Well, you are."
Me: "OK, let's go with that."
John: (laughs)

So, although it sounds like I blog every detail of my life, that is not accurate, there is soooo much more. Lots of stuff going on in my life. Sorry, but some things are just mine to keep. ;-)

Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn!!!

John is still having car issues. Crap! I have to wait until Saturday now to see him, but at least we can spend all day together then. I am so impatient, though. Arg! It was cute when he called, he is impatient too. ;-) And he is too gentlemanly to ask me to do the driving. He kept telling me how much he missed me. I think he is going stir crazy without his vehicle. He has his own business and works at home, but he is stranded. I'm all dressed up, too. Bah! Figures.

In other news, I'm now planning a Vegas trip! Woohoo! I've never been there, so this should be fun! A friend of mine (Annie!) turns 40 at nearly the same time I do, so us and a big group of friends are thinking of celebrating in Vegas. Viva Las Vegas, baby!

Teach Me A Lesson

That's what my co-worker (friend) Connie ("Con") said to me the other day. She started with "What in the hell is up with you? You're acting like you just won the lottery or something, so who IS he?" So, I told her about John. Mario was listening of course, so I had to tell him too. Mario said, "Well, at least this one doesn't look like an axe murderer." to which I glared at him. Con asked me if I wanted to borrow her 5-inch stilettos. Jay, one of my direct reports said, "Cool, my boss is getting some action!" I smacked him. Con then gave me her ruler to smack John with. While I was busy texting (Johnny of course) my mother asked, "So how is lover-boy?" Lover-boy? So yes, this is the shit I get when I tell people about my love life.

John's car should be fixed by Wednesday night, and in his text today he wrote, "I will call you the SECOND I get my car back because I need to see you. I miss you." So sweet. Purrrr.

Are you nauseated yet? Don't roll your eyes too much, this is MY love life we're talking about here. Anything and everything can (and usually does) happen, and I am quite aware how full of shit guys can be. BUT, this is why I am probably feeling so laid back and happy right now, I am just enjoying the moment for what it is without thoughts of the past or the future. I have a new favorite saying, "It is what it is." LOL, so true.

He said he wants to spend Thursday evening on the beach, walking along with the sunset. Time has almost come to a complete stop for me. I can't remember looking forward to ANYTHING as much as I am looking forward to this and the minutes are draaaagggging along! AAAH! Thursday night may as well be in 2016! I am almost 40 and never once in my whole entire life have I ever had a romantic walk on a beach at sunset. Ever. It may sound stupid and cliche to you, but if you were me, it would sound a whole lot different, I promise you. I've never really experienced romance. So here I am, trying this again. 388th time is a charm!

Shopping Spree, Johnny, and Me!

HOLY CRAP! I spent a small fortune this weekend on MYSELF. Clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, lingerie, bath stuff, coffee, DVD, and hair stuff. It is sad when you spend more on girlie stuff in just a few hours than your boyfriend (pictured) did on getting his transmission fixed! I can do some damage when I want to. But I've got to look good for my new man, right? Gotta love Sephora! Jewelry is from Chico's. Shopped with Mom 1 and Mom 2, and went to "Islands" for lunch, then got an iced coffee. Ah, life is good. Finally. Time for a swim.

Nightstand

I couldn't fall asleep last night. I tossed and turned and finally decided to read. When I was stuck at the Austin airport, I went into the little airport bookstore and tried to pick out something interesting to pass the time. Nothing really caught my fancy, so I decided to pick out a book based on the cover. Stupid, I know, but sometimes I do silly, spontaneous things. The book on the nightstand was the one I chose. "Hold Still". When I discovered it was a "young adult" novel I was disappointed, but the disappointment didn't last long, this is simply a GOOD READ. The author tells the story with a lot of emotion, and I am really enjoying it. It is very well done, and I am impressed.

Kind of a Boring Ass Week

I slept all day on Monday (not getting home until 6 am will do that to you, HA), had a boring work day Tuesday, went home early on Wednesday because work was slow and I was tired, Thursday was uneventful except for talking to Johnny on the phone, but I'm bummed because the transmission in his car is acting up and he has to get it fixed and I don't know if I can see him this weekend, and now it's Friday, and BLAH! OH, WAIT! I got my driver's license, FINALLY. Yeah, I've lived here a year and just now got it and let me tell you how much I HATE THE CALIFORNIA DMV. They want every piece of documentation from my birth to my divorce and they wouldn't let me keep my married last name (not that I want to, but it is such a hassle to change everything) and made me change back to my maiden name because my birth certificate says one thing and WA license says another, and I *may* have had a bonfire to which my marriage certificate may have fallen into, and my divorce papers say I am switching back, and FUCK now I have 5 billion things I have to change.

The wood flooring is being put in at home as I type. It has been concrete for a week. I just took a pic of my desk because I'm caught up at the moment with my projects. I will be slammed again on Monday, but I'm in limbo right now.

I just realized that I haven't been sarcastic, bizarre or cheeky lately. I'll have to fix that. How about this. I sneezed hard earlier, peed a little in my panties, and since I didn't want to sit in my own pee the rest of the day, I took my panties off and now I'm going commando. Yup. That's how I roll.