I have been running around like a maniac all week and I am finally able to sit down at the computer and catch up. Paying bills, blogging, writing, returning emails and looking at some of my favorite sites. My BBQ went well, everyone loved my kabobs. It was my first time BBQing all by myself. (The cooking part, I mean.) I inherited my mom's old Weber, and I bought a new grill for it and some utensils. I've never worked with coals before so that was interesting, but I did it! This must sound stupid to everyone out there, but I have been making some small victories for myself lately, and as dumb as they are to the rest of the world, they mean something to me. I've always been pretty independent, but there were a few things I just never had to do, and now that I'm doing them, I feel empowered! Super Crazydogmama! LOL.
Now here is the sucky news. I have a heater in one of my back bedrooms that has been broken for some time due to a leak. (It is powered by water.) It was turned off and not used, but I noticed a spot on the carpet the other day. I had my neighbor come and look at it, and the leak still somehow continued, and has rotted out my floor and entire wall between the bedroom and the office. FUCKING GREAT. We ripped up the carpet and looked into the wall, and OMG what a mess. He has to replace all the flooring and wallboard and fix the leak. Not only is my house going to be ripped apart, but I gotta shit some more MONEY. When it rains it pours. I get one thing fixed, and something else goes wrong. Thank God he is a friend and is only going to charge me minimally, but it is still going to cost hundreds of dollars I don't have. And I still have to pay my taxes. I don't know how, but I will manage. I can hock stuff, sell blood, maybe pimp myself out.
Life can be crap, but my day is coming. There is nothing like learning and growing in the journey, right?
It's not crazy at all, babe. These small victories add up and make you stronger for them. I divorced three years ago, and I still find things that I didn't think I could do "on my own". Congrats on the BBQ!
ReplyDeleteSorry, about the damage - blurgh!
Life can be rather crap. I slit up from my man about 2 months ago. :-( well done of the BBQ though.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like your outlook has changed so dramatically from six or so months ago! I don't know how I would react in similar circumstances, but I doubt it would be with the same sort of calm acceptance your post conveys. Boo-yah!
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