Believe me when I tell you, you don't want one. I really thought I was the last person that would ever get one, mainly because very little really scares me. Well, it's not really about fear in that sense, it is about keeping too much emotion inside and not letting yourself deal with it. Everyone "stresses", about money, relationships, etc., but when you are in a constant state of stress with no relief and no outlet for it, you develop a lovely "anxiety disorder". I would always just shove everything aside and tell myself I would "deal with it later". I had to maintain my cool, and I had responsibilities to tend to. However, "later" never really came, and then when big things started happening all at once, I kind of shut down in a sense. Even though I can still function at work, etc., I finally had to face some ugly realities about how much your body (and mind) can take. I'm not (clinically) nuts or emotionally unstable or anything like that (don't laugh), but I'm having to learn to decompress. I can't fix everything. I'm not responsible for other people's behavior. It is OK to tell people how you really feel. It is OK to think about your own needs once in a while.
Having an anxiety attack (for me) is not usually dramatic. In fact, you may not have any clue I'm having one. There have been times of "freaking out", but mostly I just start to feel overwhelmed like I have to get away from everyone and everything. It makes me physically ill sometimes, but it cleverly disguises itself as a headache or nausea.
My therapist has had me doing EEG Biofeedback, which is a cool neurotherapy that sends signals to the brain to calm down. (It's not shock therapy, LOL!) My brain essentially has been "overstimulated", but I am happy to report that the technique is working and I'm chilling out! I also take medication, but I really hate pills and my goal is to get the root of my problems and not just bandaid them.
It is a really interesting and drug-free way to deal with anxiety, so I wrote about this today to help anyone out there who might want an alternative way to approach their stress. I will answer any questions you may have about it, feel free to ask.
yes anxiety does suck and i have the stupidest anxieties about things...i do have a question actually, as a VERY fresh former pill popper, is that eeg thing something you can do at home when you are having anxiety attacks or you have to do it at your doctor??
ReplyDeleteactually you can purchase the program - but I would imagine it is pricey. Your insurance may cover it, though. My suggestion would be to go to a few sessions first to see how you like it, and if it works for you. It's really cool, they hook up these sensors to your head (you can't feel anything) and then you play "mind" video games for a half hour. It is relaxing, and the signals balance things out in your brain. If you want the name of my therapist, email me. They are a couple people she works with that do it - and one of the offices is in Redmond/Bellevue, and the other in Duvall.
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