Jack-a-Ritas

Instead of champagne, I decided on Friday night margaritas. Yeah, baby! So, I go to the liquor store on the way home to get some tequila. For some reason I grab a bottle of Jack Daniels, then a lime at the register. Don't ask, because I just don't know. I then tell the cashier that I've been promoted and I'm going to have some margarita fun, again, don't ask. He smiles, looks at the Jack Daniels and the lime, then back up at me and says, "Congratulations." I skip out the door, and about 1/2 way home I realize that I am a gigantic retard. Jack-a-ritas? Oops. When I get home and tell Jim what I did, he laughs and offers to go exchange the Jack for Jose. Derr. In a big way. The guy at the liquor store must be thinking, "What the hell did she get promoted to, executive ditch digging?" Anyway, Mr. Cuervo and I are having a nice love affair tonight. I may be puking later.

Good News!

I just got a big promotion at work! It includes many more dollars! Wheee! I am so excited.

Oh, and by the way, I know I haven't been posting regularly, but if I don't start getting more than 2 readers a day, I'm shutting down this show. So, tell your friends and family to read. Now, shoo, because I hear a bottle of champagne calling my name.

The traffic guy is NOT my friend, but Cherry NyQuil IS.

So, not only have I been surviving on Cherry NyQuil for the past 7 days, but the radio traffic guy totally dis'd me. Yes, that's right. Let me share this special story with you.

We had a few days of hard rain, and that always means some sort of flooding in the rural area I live in. The other morning on the way to work, I ran into some crazy dead-stopped traffic. After an hour and a half of wanting to bash my head into my steering wheel, I found out that one of the bridges on my commute was closed due to flooding, and traffic was being re-routed and that was why it was so backed up. I got to work really late and hacking my head off because my NyQuil was wearing off. The next day was the same traffic mess, but I left a little early to try and avoid some of it. I was listening to my favorite talk radio station and the traffic report came on. The traffic guy said that some people had called in and were wondering why traffic was so bad in this area, and he responded that he had no idea and hadn't heard anything but would look into it. I knew! I knew and the traffic guy didn't! I don't know why this excited me, but I decided to be a good citizen and call the radio station so that my co-commuters would understand why they were frustrated and stressed. I'm just that kind of gal. The radio guy answered, and I explained the situation. He was very appreciative for my call and said he would relay the info to the traffic guy. He even asked my name so that I could get full credit. I told him.

All proud of myself, I turned the radio back on and awaited the next traffic update. Sure enough, the first thing he said was "We have received an answer to the traffic problems in blah-blah area from our nice caller Cheryl". He went on telling the whole Seattle area exactly what I told him and kept thanking Cheryl for the information. Wow! I felt like a celebrity! But, oh no, no, that 15 minutes of fame would not last. They give the traffic update every 10 minutes, and of course since I wanted to keep hearing my name on the radio, I kept listening. In the very next update, the dude says this, "Well, we took the chopper over blah-blah bridge, and it appears to be open, and traffic is flowing nicely, so I'm not sure what was going on there, but there really is no problem so never mind that last report." WHAT THE FUCK?

I had JUST passed two big orange signs that said the bridge was closed, and I was still stuck in traffic! Oh, wait a minute.

There goes a D.O.T. worker and he is TAKING THE SIGN DOWN. It was a total conspiracy against me. They opened the bridge not 5 minutes after I called. NO! I look like a fool! An idiot! A prank caller! But I was just trying to help!

I wanted to call back and tell them I wasn't crazy, but then I started thinking that they probably have caller ID and would yell at me or not let me call anymore, or report me as a stalker or something, so I didn't. I just sat there. I cussed out my radio and turned it off. That'll show 'em! I won't listen to them for the whole rest of the day! Screw the radio! Screw the commuters! Screw everybody! I told Jim about my public embarrassment, but he just laughed at me. A lot. Then it hit me. I need to get a life.

My throat is KILLING ME.

I can barely swallow. I've been super sick since Thursday night. My throat hurts so bad right now that I can't sleep, and now it's 2:30 in the morning. Everybody is snoring and I'm walking around whining and bitching and no one can hear me! Bah! I just ate some ice cream, and although it tasted great, it didn't help my throat much. I'm going to go try and find something to watch on T., but my hopes are not high. This blows.

Who are you?

OMG, I'm sick of these, but I was tagged, so whatever. I erased the repeats and stuff I've answered before.

Who are you? CrazyDogMama!

1) First of all, how old are you? 35.
2) Do you believe in reincarnation? Nope.
3) If you found out your best friend was gay/lesbian, what would you do? Nothing.
4) Do you consider yourself a good listener? Sure.
5) Would you rather be short or tall? Short
6) Would you consider your relationship with your parents bad, okay, good? Good, but could be better.
7) Do you like to dance? Only when I am by myself.
8) Are you shy to ask someone out? I have never asked anyone out, the guy had to ask. It's old fashioned, not shyness.
9) Do you like to talk on the phone? Not really. I like to talk to my husband on my way home from work, though.
10) Would you rather go on a walk or watch tv? TV
11) Do you think boys or girls have it easier? Guys.
12) If you had a round-trip ride in any time machine, where would you go? To my early 20's.
13) If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Spy on people.
14) Do you like Adidas, Nike, Fila, or Reebok [or any other brand]? I guess I like Nike.
15) If you could change your name, what would it be? My name is fine.
16) If you were in a theater and someone was crying, would you laugh? No, that's mean.
17) What's the hardest thing about growing up? Marriage
18) What little unknown talents do you possess? I'm not telling.
19) Would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000? No.
20) If this Saturday, you could do ANYTHING you wanted, what would you do? Go to Disneyland.
21) What's the worst word(s) you know? I don't know, but I'm sure I use them every day.
22) Have you ever wanted to run away? Daily.
23) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, unless my dogs count. They are stuffed full of food, poo, pee and mischief.
24) If you were stranded on a deserted island with one person, who would it be? Superman.
25) What is your favorite gum? Cinnamon.
26) How do you eat an Oreo? Dip in milk, shove in mouth.
27) Do you eat chicken fingers with a fork? I do not eat chicken fingers.
28) Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Yes.
29) If you could do anything to the person you hated most what would it be? I don't hate anyone.

DOB: 11-12-71
Sex: Female
Height : 5'4"
Hair Color: Blonde-brown
Eye Color: blue
Location: Sultan, WA
School: Bachelor of Arts UW
Pets: 2 dogs and a husband
Dream Job: Photographer
Fav Subject: Art
Fav Sport: Gymnastics
Least Fav: Basketball
Fave Month: November
Fav Toothpaste: Mentadent

All is well in the dog food department.

I have received mail from concerned folks about the pet food recall going on, and if Lou and Mags were OK. They are great, I buy "Natural Balance" dog food. I tried to switch them to cheaper food awhile back, but they wouldn't have it. I'm so glad! If I had been feeding them the recall food, I would be in full-on panic mode right now.

I know I suck, you don't have to tell me.

I have no excuse for not blogging, I just haven't wanted to lately. BUT, because I love you all so much, I'll blog just for you today. Last Friday my company left early at 1pm to go bowling for a little corporate competition. It was a hoot, especially the open bar part. Double rum and coke and double margarita on the rocks if you must know. I got high girl's score at 151! I didn't know I had it in me. After that (with the alcohol in me), Jim and I went to dinner at his ex-wife's house. I KNOW. We were there to discuss how to discipline the kid who has been getting in trouble lately. It went fine, nothing really juicy to report.

Then, all day Saturday and Sunday, we cleaned. We dusted, vacuumed, did laundry & dishes and generally were a very boring married couple. And you wonder why I haven't been blogging? Blah. Nothing exciting happening. That is all. That is all I can think of to write. I'm eating a banana right now, I'm tired, and really nothing to say.

These are the lies.

#2 - I never had to draw my gun as a cop.
#6 - I started smoking when I was 19, not 17.
#8 - I've only driven up to 90 mph.
#10 - I've only been in one fight. It was with a girl named Shara in Jr. High. I kicked her ass.

I guess the skydiving thing is kind of iffy. My knees are shot and I'm too fat, but I guess if I were totally fit and trim and someone else paid for it, I MIGHT, and I say MIGHT do it again. Probably not, though, I'm getting old. My hay-day is over, I'm afraid. It was great fun, though, when I did it, and I have some amazing pics. I jumped 7 times.

Slacker

I know I've been a total slacker, I just haven't been in the blogging mood. You know what I mean? I've been in the "don't-get-up-from-the-couch-unless-you-have-to" kind of mood.

It snowed again last week, and we got 9 inches. It melted the next day, but still. It is supposed to be 60 degrees tomorrow. The wackiness continues. Everyone has been sick at work, one by one, so the work has been piling up, and lo and behold I'm actually trying to change my eating habits AGAIN. I'm trying to do BFL-style eating, but really small portions every two hours or so. For me, this means being constantly hungry for about two weeks (until I get used to it) even though I'm constantly eating. Having a half of a sandwich just makes my stomach angry. It's all like, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Anyway, I got tagged to do this stupid lie detector thingy. I am supposed to list off a bunch of things about myself and you are supposed to determine whether or not each item is true or false. So here goes, I guess.

1. I once vomited creamed corn all over the dinner table because my mom forced me to eat it.

2. I drew my gun only once when I was a cop.

3. My hair turned naturally curly overnight when I was 24.

4. I won't eat meatloaf.

5. I have had premonition dreams.

6. I started smoking when I was 17.

7. I threw a paper airplane at a corvette when I was young, and the guy slammed on his brakes and ran after me screaming obscenities.

8. I have driven a car at over 100mph.

9. I will never jump out of an airplane again, voluntarily.

10. I've been in many fights.

Let me hear those guesses people, which ones are false?