Miss Me?

I have avoided my computer for a whole week. This hasn't happened in like, EVER. Usually when I'm on vacation my husband has to pry me away from uninterrupted internet time. Not this time. I got this wild hair up my ass to PAINT THE INSIDE OF MY HOUSE. Somebody needed to warn me that this is quite possibly the STUPIDEST FUCKING THING TO DO ON VACATION. I have never cussed as much as I cussed last week....and we aren't even finished yet! I have rounded corners and texture. Making a straight line is harder than Chinese arithmetic. The dogs have been hiding from me, which is probably a good thing because little doggie nose-prints in the paint would probably not be as cute and funny as it would normally be. Everything in my house is in the middle of the living room. It smells like paint and dust. I didn't realize how much cleaning is involved when you paint. It is quite possible that I have ruined my nails. FOREVER. Eating take-out every night because your kitchen looks like WWIII, gets old quick. My knees will never recover, and I can't wear shorts because of the severe bruising. It (of course) is going to be 80+ degrees today. My neck hurts. If anyone comes into my house and says "you missed a spot" I will probably kill them. Dead. I will post before and after pics if we EVER finish.

Other than that, we had a fun little 4th of July bash. We barbecued with friends and family, drank, and did the pyromania thing. Jim had not shot off fireworks for about 10 years, and so, it was quite terrifying. A tip: When you light off mortars, unravel the fuse completely. Jim did not do this. He put the ball in the tube, lit it, and then BOOM! Shrapnel EVERYWHERE, in EVERY DIRECTION. He completely destroyed the tube. There was screaming, then silence. Then laughing. Someone said, "I think you did that wrong." DERRRRRR. Have another beer, honey. No one was hurt, but we won't live that one down for sure.