Tuesday, February 28, 2012
My Friend Brandi, An Honorary CrazyDogMama
Monday, February 27, 2012
An intellectual? Really?
I took this test thingy (my intellectualness coming out here) and this was the result:
YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE
You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goal—you're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.
When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities.
You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Joining a philosophy society? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.
Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.
YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE
You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goal—you're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.
When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities.
You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Joining a philosophy society? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.
Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
What a Week
I had to leave work early yesterday, because in mid-sentence with some co-workers, my whole body went red and I started getting welts everywhere. Allergic reaction! To what? I have no idea and neither does anyone else. My heart started beating super-fast, I hurled twice, took some Benadryl and did 90 on the freeway home. I wasn't about to pay a $100 copay for the stupid emergency room. I have an epi-pen if stop breathing. I'm fine now.
My moms are out doing something tonight, and my friend Lisa is coming over in a few minutes. We are going to make chicken enchiladas, margaritas and watch a horror movie. I turned the pool heater on this morning, but I don't know if it will be warm enough by tonight. It was down to 60 degrees, and I like 85. Probably won't be ready until tomorrow. And that's it. That's all. Big whoop.
My moms are out doing something tonight, and my friend Lisa is coming over in a few minutes. We are going to make chicken enchiladas, margaritas and watch a horror movie. I turned the pool heater on this morning, but I don't know if it will be warm enough by tonight. It was down to 60 degrees, and I like 85. Probably won't be ready until tomorrow. And that's it. That's all. Big whoop.
Monday, February 20, 2012
My 4-Day Weekend
I've become paralyzingly boring. Seriously. Friday, I slept, watched a little TV and ate dinner out with moms. Saturday, I went to an eye appointment, got tires for my SUV, then ended up taking it to the shop for new brakes, rotors, shocks and a new front left hub bearing and ate dinner with moms. Sunday, I slept. Monday, I went to a doctor appointment, read, slept and watched TV. End of story. Pathetic. My vehicle is not yet ready, so I am working from home tomorrow, plus Maggie is going the vet again. Tell me again how this happened. I used to be fun. My blog is even boring. Shit. Kill me.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
An Unexpected Valentine
Driving home from work my phone chimed. Joe. "Happy Valentine's Day, Cheryl." He always remembers me on holidays. All holidays. It made me smile. More than I thought it would.
We ended up talking for most of the night. I'm not sure I understand. If there is anything to understand. Will somebody please help me with this? We never really had an "official" relationship, but we said many sweet things to each other. We didn't really "break up" either, life just happened, and we seemed to drift apart with our busy schedules and distance (he lives over an hour away). I think about him often, and apparently, he thinks of me too. Normally (in my experience anyway) if a man decides he doesn't want to date you, you never hear from him again. I make it easy for them and give them a hassle-free escape, if that is what they want. But Joe always contacts me on special days without any prompting.
I suppose I will just enjoy it for what it is. But it is perplexing to me. On Thanksgiving when I heard from him, he said this, "Hope you and your mom have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I am very blessed and thankful for my family, friends and meeting the most extraordinary people (that would be you). I hope you know how special you are." Guys don't talk like that. Of course, Joe is the one my mother likes. Go figure. I don't know. I truly resolve to know nothing here. Life is strange. Men are even stranger.
We ended up talking for most of the night. I'm not sure I understand. If there is anything to understand. Will somebody please help me with this? We never really had an "official" relationship, but we said many sweet things to each other. We didn't really "break up" either, life just happened, and we seemed to drift apart with our busy schedules and distance (he lives over an hour away). I think about him often, and apparently, he thinks of me too. Normally (in my experience anyway) if a man decides he doesn't want to date you, you never hear from him again. I make it easy for them and give them a hassle-free escape, if that is what they want. But Joe always contacts me on special days without any prompting.
I suppose I will just enjoy it for what it is. But it is perplexing to me. On Thanksgiving when I heard from him, he said this, "Hope you and your mom have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I am very blessed and thankful for my family, friends and meeting the most extraordinary people (that would be you). I hope you know how special you are." Guys don't talk like that. Of course, Joe is the one my mother likes. Go figure. I don't know. I truly resolve to know nothing here. Life is strange. Men are even stranger.
I'm going to get in trouble for this.
My mom. She weighs about 100 pounds. We went out to Mexican food last night and she had two sangrias. Which knocked her on her ass. As we were driving off in the car, she exclaimed "Wheeeeee!" I suggested we go get some coffee. I ordered a mocha. The barista asked, "Hot or Cold?" I said "Hot." My mother then blurted out "I want an iced latte, HOT!" Gotta love her. LOL!
Sunday, February 12, 2012
A Late Date, Mortgage-Free, and What I'm Reading
I saw John last night for the first time in a while. We had a really good time, went to our favorite dive bar and I rolled into my driveway at 5:07 am this morning. I kind of backed away a little before as things were getting a little serious, and he needed to concentrate on his business, but he started emailing me and texting me again a few weeks ago and I couldn't help but say yes to seeing him. Missed his lips! LOL. But it's all good, we actually have a lot in common and spent most of the wee hours of the morning talking. How I love that.
Here is the big news, I'm mortgage free! Actually, I'm completely debt-free for the first time in my life! House in WA finally closed, truck is paid off, credit cards are paid off and I make more salary now than I ever thought possible. I'm in heaven! Ah, how things change. And I worked my ass off for it.
John still paid for drinks, though, gotta love him. :-)
Got up around 2:30 pm today. (Well, hey, I got home at 5 am.) Then I made an espresso and have been reading. I'm currently reading "The Leopard" by Jo Nesbo, and it is sooooo good! I'm all cuddled up with Mags because it is freezing. Yes, I'm freezing at 60 degrees, shut it. We even have the heat on in the house, and I'm still cold. I'm an official California weather-weenie now.
Here is the big news, I'm mortgage free! Actually, I'm completely debt-free for the first time in my life! House in WA finally closed, truck is paid off, credit cards are paid off and I make more salary now than I ever thought possible. I'm in heaven! Ah, how things change. And I worked my ass off for it.
John still paid for drinks, though, gotta love him. :-)
Got up around 2:30 pm today. (Well, hey, I got home at 5 am.) Then I made an espresso and have been reading. I'm currently reading "The Leopard" by Jo Nesbo, and it is sooooo good! I'm all cuddled up with Mags because it is freezing. Yes, I'm freezing at 60 degrees, shut it. We even have the heat on in the house, and I'm still cold. I'm an official California weather-weenie now.
Monday, February 06, 2012
Oh Holy Hell!
So, my LinkedIn account just sent EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON who has EVER emailed me an invitation to connect. So yes, that includes my ex, old boyfriends and every creep I've dated in the last two years. Oh, Jesus God please help me. I'm sorry everyone who just got bombarded. You can link me back of course if you still like me. LOL! How embarrassing. Life certainly is interesting when technology goes berserk.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Wancakes and The Excavator
I had the bright idea this morning to make waffles with my handy dandy waffle iron. I thought I had waffle mix. I did not. My mom said, "Just use Bisquick, it's the same thing". For the record, NOT TRUE. I also thought it would be a great idea to put chocolate chips in the batter as well as substitute vegetable oil with coconut oil (which is the cure for cancer I'm convinced, but I'll save that for another blog). Let's just say my intentions were well meant.
I followed the recipe on the back of the Bisquick box. Looked good, smelled good. Poured the batter onto the waffle iron grid. Nice and thick, perfect! Lid down. I watched the batter ooze out over the sides and onto the counter (I could hear my mother's head exploding) and went about making the bacon. A few minutes later, I raised up the lid excited to see my waffle creation. It looked like someone had vomited up flies. Sooo not what a waffle should look like. OK, well, shit. I got the Bisquick box back out and noticed that the only difference between waffles and pancakes was 1 egg. Cool. I put another egg in my batter and got out the pancake pan. I pushed the waffle iron aside.
I brought out a nice plate of pancakes with butter and syrup accompanied by crisp bacon out to Ma. She was nice and ate one, but the look on her face resembled that of a 6-year-old who desperately wanted to spit the broccoli back out onto to their plate and go back outside and play, but if they did, they would be punished and sent to their room. She excused herself from the table and spent the next hour cleaning my waffle iron mumbling something about going OUT for dinner. Okay, so it wasn't my best culinary moment. Bisquick blows.
Dinner at Claim Jumper. Cath, Ma and I went out for a tasty meal. Afterward, we all ordered dessert. I had the mini English toffee cake (yum!) and Cath and Ma split an eclair. I laughed because both of them are skimpy eaters, and the damn thing was the size of a watermelon. Watching them share it was, how should I say this, like watching the female version of "Grumpy Old Men". My mom went right for the custard inside with a spoon, as Cath just forked off pieces at her end. By the time they got to the middle I watched Cath's brow furrow as she tilted her head sideways with a WTF look and exclaimed, "You excavated all the custard out!" The only thing missing was a comma and the word "asshole" after that sentence. LOL! They bantered back and forth about it for several minutes. It was better than Comedy Central, I tell ya.
And that was my excitement for the weekend. There was NO FOOTBALL at our house. I read most of the day instead.
I followed the recipe on the back of the Bisquick box. Looked good, smelled good. Poured the batter onto the waffle iron grid. Nice and thick, perfect! Lid down. I watched the batter ooze out over the sides and onto the counter (I could hear my mother's head exploding) and went about making the bacon. A few minutes later, I raised up the lid excited to see my waffle creation. It looked like someone had vomited up flies. Sooo not what a waffle should look like. OK, well, shit. I got the Bisquick box back out and noticed that the only difference between waffles and pancakes was 1 egg. Cool. I put another egg in my batter and got out the pancake pan. I pushed the waffle iron aside.
I brought out a nice plate of pancakes with butter and syrup accompanied by crisp bacon out to Ma. She was nice and ate one, but the look on her face resembled that of a 6-year-old who desperately wanted to spit the broccoli back out onto to their plate and go back outside and play, but if they did, they would be punished and sent to their room. She excused herself from the table and spent the next hour cleaning my waffle iron mumbling something about going OUT for dinner. Okay, so it wasn't my best culinary moment. Bisquick blows.
Dinner at Claim Jumper. Cath, Ma and I went out for a tasty meal. Afterward, we all ordered dessert. I had the mini English toffee cake (yum!) and Cath and Ma split an eclair. I laughed because both of them are skimpy eaters, and the damn thing was the size of a watermelon. Watching them share it was, how should I say this, like watching the female version of "Grumpy Old Men". My mom went right for the custard inside with a spoon, as Cath just forked off pieces at her end. By the time they got to the middle I watched Cath's brow furrow as she tilted her head sideways with a WTF look and exclaimed, "You excavated all the custard out!" The only thing missing was a comma and the word "asshole" after that sentence. LOL! They bantered back and forth about it for several minutes. It was better than Comedy Central, I tell ya.
And that was my excitement for the weekend. There was NO FOOTBALL at our house. I read most of the day instead.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
I love answering questions.
1. Would you rather be an Olympic athlete or win American Idol?
Olympic athlete. The only thing I hate more than “American Idol” is “Desperate Housewives”.
2. If you could live in any US city, which would it be?
You know, I like right where I’m at! Although I’m sure once I start doing more traveling, I will fall in love with other US cities. I really want to go to New Orleans this year. I really enjoyed NY, but I wouldn't want to live there more than a year.
3. What was the first blog you ever read?
Skwigg!
4. What was your favorite CD in 7th grade?
They did not have CD’s when I was in the 7th grade. :-/
5. Mac or PC?
PC
6. Who was your first kiss?
Eric. I met him at church camp in 9th grade. He was a rocker with LONG hair. LOL
7. Sandwich or salad?
Sandwich. Big one.
8. Country music or rap?
Country
9. If you had no restraints (time, money, etc.), is there something different you would do with your life at this moment?
I would go adopt a bunch of dogs from rescue and hire someone to clean up poop and wash out crates.
10. Who was the last person you talked with on the phone?
Jenny. We are trying to figure out a way to go to Hawaii in April or May!
11. The last movie you saw in the theater?
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
12. Something you are ashamed of.
My last ping pong game at work. Maybe that's what's wrong with my wrist.
Olympic athlete. The only thing I hate more than “American Idol” is “Desperate Housewives”.
2. If you could live in any US city, which would it be?
You know, I like right where I’m at! Although I’m sure once I start doing more traveling, I will fall in love with other US cities. I really want to go to New Orleans this year. I really enjoyed NY, but I wouldn't want to live there more than a year.
3. What was the first blog you ever read?
Skwigg!
4. What was your favorite CD in 7th grade?
They did not have CD’s when I was in the 7th grade. :-/
5. Mac or PC?
PC
6. Who was your first kiss?
Eric. I met him at church camp in 9th grade. He was a rocker with LONG hair. LOL
7. Sandwich or salad?
Sandwich. Big one.
8. Country music or rap?
Country
9. If you had no restraints (time, money, etc.), is there something different you would do with your life at this moment?
I would go adopt a bunch of dogs from rescue and hire someone to clean up poop and wash out crates.
10. Who was the last person you talked with on the phone?
Jenny. We are trying to figure out a way to go to Hawaii in April or May!
11. The last movie you saw in the theater?
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
12. Something you are ashamed of.
My last ping pong game at work. Maybe that's what's wrong with my wrist.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Innovation
So apparently we don't have a lid for this pan. LOL. My mom, so clever.
Speaking of clever, I'm not so much. I got a call from corporate today, and I spoke with a manager who asked me to take the lead on a project. OK, sure, no problem. They want me to reconfigure our entire change process to make it more efficient. Sure! Just let me start messing with the coding for our 3-million-dollar software! Piece of cake! Holy fucking shit. Are you KIDDING me? I'm the one that crashes it weekly, don't they know? I knew there was going to be a catch to that atomic raise they gave me. Fuuuuck. Goodbye, life, nice knowing you.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Those damn birds again!
The Kindle Fire rocks. However, don't let the $199 price tag fool you. After you buy the leather case, a new state-of-the-art router, start using the one touch "buy" button for apps, kindle books and other little goodies, your bank account is down roughly $500. Bah!
I had an awesome evening with fam & friends eating pizza, drinking lemon drop martini's and playing cards. (Disney UNO has "evil" cards!) My friend Lisa and I stayed up past everyone else watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns, then she fell asleep, and I played the new Angry Birds 2012 seasons "Year of the Dragon" and OMG the next thing I knew it was 3 am. This did not help my wrist at all. I need the new ABA group therapy (Angry Birds Anonymous), where everyone sits arounds twitching in withdrawal making grunting Hitler pig noises.
I had an awesome evening with fam & friends eating pizza, drinking lemon drop martini's and playing cards. (Disney UNO has "evil" cards!) My friend Lisa and I stayed up past everyone else watching "Everybody Loves Raymond" reruns, then she fell asleep, and I played the new Angry Birds 2012 seasons "Year of the Dragon" and OMG the next thing I knew it was 3 am. This did not help my wrist at all. I need the new ABA group therapy (Angry Birds Anonymous), where everyone sits arounds twitching in withdrawal making grunting Hitler pig noises.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Ouchie
Leave it to me to injure myself. My wrist is unhappy. It hurts so bad I can hardly stand it. I don't even know for sure how I did it, and I don't know yet what is wrong with it. The doctor thinks I probably damaged a tendon, but it feels broken to me and ACHES. X-rays won't be ready until next week and they won't give me painkillers! (Time for a new doctor.) I have to wear this damn thing for 4 weeks. I can't do any friggin' thing. Driving hurts. Sleeping hurts. Drinking a beverage hurts. Typing hurts. Changing channels on the remote hurts. You should see my hair.
Andy, my boss, yelled at me on Friday (he is so awesome, I love him) because I wouldn't go home. Before lunch he said, "You need to go home and stop trying to type with a broken wrist. For God's sake you are typing with your body at a 35-degree angle because of that thing! I'm going to lunch. If you aren't gone by the time I get back, oh forget it, I know you'll still be here. I don't know why I bother." (Mumbling and waving his hands in the air as he walks out the door.) An hour later he walks in back from lunch, sees me, shakes his head and says, "Of course you are still here.", goes in his office and slams the door. LOL!
Andy, my boss, yelled at me on Friday (he is so awesome, I love him) because I wouldn't go home. Before lunch he said, "You need to go home and stop trying to type with a broken wrist. For God's sake you are typing with your body at a 35-degree angle because of that thing! I'm going to lunch. If you aren't gone by the time I get back, oh forget it, I know you'll still be here. I don't know why I bother." (Mumbling and waving his hands in the air as he walks out the door.) An hour later he walks in back from lunch, sees me, shakes his head and says, "Of course you are still here.", goes in his office and slams the door. LOL!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A spending spree for me! Because Christmas is over.
I decided to purchase 13 items off of my Amazon wish list on a whim. I *LOVE* that I can do that! There are still 45 items being wished for on there, so I wasn't ridiculous about it or anything.
Kindle Fire + Leather Case + Car Charger
Book "The Secret of Happy Ever After" by Lucy Dillon
Blu-Ray DVD "Secretary"
Blue-Ray DVD "The Descent"
DVD "Sherrybaby"
DVD "Friends, Season 3"
Black Gel Eyeliner
Teal Gel Eyeliner
2 Makeup Brushes
Mermaid Nail Polish
I'm totally set for entertainment & style for a while!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Old Days and Nowadays
My mother bought a few old movies. I've never really enjoyed old movies before, and never took the time to watch any of them, but she insisted so I gave in. We just watched "Bell, Book and Candle" with James Stewart, Kim Novac and Jack Lemmon. OK, I admit it, I enjoyed it. Actors of old are a little dramatic, but it works.
But what really struck me was how romance was so different. I get so sick of watching movies where two people meet and they are in bed in 5 minutes, then it doesn't work out and they meet another, and then more sex in 5 minutes. It bugs me. I guess I don't belong in this era, huh? Everyone I know has given in to the current times, but seriously, if I slept with every guy I dated, well, GOOD GOD, GROSS! But being old fashioned gets you nowhere, let me tell you. I guess that is why I'm flying solo. Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but how it is thrown around so carelessly now just makes me ill. I can't tell you how many times I've met a guy and they would ask me how big my boobs are or how I felt about anal sex on the first frigging phone call. I mean, COME ON. Call me nutty, but I just hung up. But it's not just guys, if you won't do it, be assured there is a woman not 20 feet from you who will. I can't, or should I say won't, compete with that.
In the last two years of dating, I've met only one man who was sincerely respectful. Joe. I wish it would of worked out because he really was quite chivalrous, and I have to tell you that his behavior was more of a turn-on to me than anything else. Oh well. I'm off to watch another sappy old movie, "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir". LOL!
But what really struck me was how romance was so different. I get so sick of watching movies where two people meet and they are in bed in 5 minutes, then it doesn't work out and they meet another, and then more sex in 5 minutes. It bugs me. I guess I don't belong in this era, huh? Everyone I know has given in to the current times, but seriously, if I slept with every guy I dated, well, GOOD GOD, GROSS! But being old fashioned gets you nowhere, let me tell you. I guess that is why I'm flying solo. Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but how it is thrown around so carelessly now just makes me ill. I can't tell you how many times I've met a guy and they would ask me how big my boobs are or how I felt about anal sex on the first frigging phone call. I mean, COME ON. Call me nutty, but I just hung up. But it's not just guys, if you won't do it, be assured there is a woman not 20 feet from you who will. I can't, or should I say won't, compete with that.
In the last two years of dating, I've met only one man who was sincerely respectful. Joe. I wish it would of worked out because he really was quite chivalrous, and I have to tell you that his behavior was more of a turn-on to me than anything else. Oh well. I'm off to watch another sappy old movie, "The Ghost and Mrs. Muir". LOL!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Can you relate to # 11? I can relate to # 11.
32 Truths for Mature People
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection, again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word, and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this, ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection, again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word, and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this, ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Hot damn, I done did good!
Here is where I get to brag a little about myself, which is rare.
Ever since I was promoted to management and relocated down to California by my company to be part of the build-out of our new plant in Seal Beach, my workload has been, well, INSANE. Not only has there been a ton to do, but it had to be done with impossible deadlines, minimal staff and with dead-on accuracy. It was a lot of pressure over a long span of time. Not only have I managed to double my salary in two years, but I just received SPECIAL recognition AND reward by executive management for going above and beyond the call of duty.
When called into the Director's office, I was FLOORED at the reward and fumbled for words. I'm surprised I didn't burst out in tears. I really just wasn't expecting that. I've always kind of felt like this easily replaceable peon, but I was just told that our commercialization here could "not have been done without me". Well, I don't know about that, but I have to say it sure felt good to hear it! The Director kept saying things like "Yes, we DID notice all those late nights, weekends and holidays you worked, and yes we DID get personal feedback sent to us from many individuals from all the different sites saying how much they appreciated your help, flexibility and attitude. You are well liked and sought out over your counterparts."
I am kind of in a stupor about it. I should probably snap out of it and get to work before they take it all back. :-D
Ever since I was promoted to management and relocated down to California by my company to be part of the build-out of our new plant in Seal Beach, my workload has been, well, INSANE. Not only has there been a ton to do, but it had to be done with impossible deadlines, minimal staff and with dead-on accuracy. It was a lot of pressure over a long span of time. Not only have I managed to double my salary in two years, but I just received SPECIAL recognition AND reward by executive management for going above and beyond the call of duty.
When called into the Director's office, I was FLOORED at the reward and fumbled for words. I'm surprised I didn't burst out in tears. I really just wasn't expecting that. I've always kind of felt like this easily replaceable peon, but I was just told that our commercialization here could "not have been done without me". Well, I don't know about that, but I have to say it sure felt good to hear it! The Director kept saying things like "Yes, we DID notice all those late nights, weekends and holidays you worked, and yes we DID get personal feedback sent to us from many individuals from all the different sites saying how much they appreciated your help, flexibility and attitude. You are well liked and sought out over your counterparts."
I am kind of in a stupor about it. I should probably snap out of it and get to work before they take it all back. :-D
Friday, January 13, 2012
Motherly Advice
It is ex-fucking-hausting having two goddamned mothers.
Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom: When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you? Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom: Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom: You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?
Me: Shut up! Both of you! The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor. Leave me ALONE.
Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother): She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor. She says she hates doctors; they don't help, they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking. I know! Well, it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.
Me to the blogosphere: Help me, please.
Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom: When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you? Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom: Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom: You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?
Me: Shut up! Both of you! The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor. Leave me ALONE.
Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother): She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor. She says she hates doctors; they don't help, they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking. I know! Well, it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.
Me to the blogosphere: Help me, please.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
AMEN, Frank Kaiser!
"One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.
When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, now in my 70s, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence. But, I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty. As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:
-An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.
-An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
-An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!
-Her libido's stronger.
-Her fear of pregnancy's gone.
-Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.
-And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)
-Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!
-Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
-Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.
-An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
-Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.
Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old coot clinging and whining his way into your serenity."
-Frank Kaiser
When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, now in my 70s, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence. But, I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty. As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:
-An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.
-An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
-An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!
-Her libido's stronger.
-Her fear of pregnancy's gone.
-Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.
-And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)
-Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!
-Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
-Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.
-An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
-Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.
Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old coot clinging and whining his way into your serenity."
-Frank Kaiser
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