Saturday, February 28, 2009

Wanna fuck up your Saturday morning? Pay bills. Unless you have a lot of money - then in that case, just fuck you. ;-)

My poor groomed-badly dog. His face is supposed to be much more fuzzy. I keep tellling him it will grow out. He's all mopey about it.

Well I survived the first 3 days of my new job. It has been a big change for me - and all the walking has made my butt and hips sore. Shutty. I know.

I apparently woke up yelling "Get out!" LOL.

I think I've lost the ability to blog in any sort of organized fashion.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Really bad cell phone pics of Seattle around where I work. Today was better. Getting into the trenches.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I'm soooo exhausted. First day was overwhelming. I'm feeling a bit like a fish out of water at the moment. Working at a big company in downtown Seattle is a WHOLE lot different than working at a small private company on the cush, slow paced Eastside. I have my own office (yay!), but I don't have a view. Yet. And I have to walk about a mile to the building from where I have to frigging park. Today it was rainy and windy. BUT, I HAVE a job (a good one) and I'm VERY thankful.

Yes, Juice, the commute sucks, and no, Nichole I don't work at Fred Hutchinson. I'll tell you where I work if you email me - I need to be conservative on the blog these days.

Once I figured out what floor I work on, I then got stuck in the bathroom. There is good smelly lotion in there and after I washed my hands, I put some on. I then could not open the door with the big heavy round knob. I had to use my shirt to get it open, and even then it took me a few minutes. Yeah, I'm doin' great!! L.O.S.E.R. LOL

I am now enjoying a LARGE adult beverage. Nighty night.
Holy shit I'm overwhelmed!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I'm sitting in the grocery store parking lot blogging. I did not get, nor intend to get groceries. I'm not sure why I'm here. I am smoking a cigarette (Shut it) and drinking a flat Pepsi left over from lunch. Yes, this is who you are reading.

My last day at my contract job today was a little sad. I wouldn't have thought it would be, but I actually made a friend I will miss. I was only there 3 months, but it was pretty cool. I am starting a job tomorrow a little unlike anything I've ever done before. It's in the city, it has more than 50 employees, and it is Biotech (I previously only did medical device). I need to have my A game on, and I guess that is why I'm nervous. It is exciting, too, but my life has been a bit topsy turvy and I need to make sure I am focused.

Monday, February 23, 2009

We've rolled around to Monday again and I have 6 gabillion things to do before Wednesday. Ug. I have had a 3 day headache and am going to try and get in to see my Chiropractor today because I think it has to do with my back and neck. I'm a violent sleeper.

We had some excitement at the Crazydogmama household this past weekend. Two young guys were causing trouble in my front yard destroying property and yelling and fighting. One guy was trying to restrain the other who was clearly either drunk or hopped up on drugs. Totally out of control. I called 911. The cops came and surveyed the damage, but the boys were long gone by the time the fuzz arrived. Crap! My neighborhood is going to shit. I hate that.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sometimes I just don't know what to say on this stupid thing. It's true, I'm kind of a sad person, and I rollercoaster all over the place, but I've experienced a lot of loss. Loss of family, loss of friends, loss of a job and loss I can't even explain. Loss I've not talked about. I've done things I'm not proud of, and I've experienced betrayal and deceit. Some days I get through just fine and smile and laugh, and others I just curl up in a ball and don't talk to anyone. I guess that's normal. But it doesn't feel normal. What do you do when you can't seem to get over something and can't snap out of a funk? I've been to therapy. Sick of that. I'm just praying now. I'm starting my new job on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous. So much change in such a short amount of time. This is some serious bullshit rambling, huh? I butchered the poor dog. I feel so sorry for the poor little guy. He looks really silly.

Putting the crazy in crazydogmama. I'm grooming Louie today. I want to kill someone. He doesn't cooperate. AT ALL. There is hair EVERYWHERE.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
Aaaaahhhh. Amaretto Di Saronno.

Project office.

Holy crap, what a complete mess. My office is a train wreck, much like my emotional stability of late. It is time to tackle this monster. I have NEVER in my life been this disorganized and messy. I'm usually the one people are calling to help them out with THEIR mess. Well, I can't standz it any longer!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

My little life lessons/wisdom. These aren't really that unique, but what the hell.

1. Expect the unexpected. The weirdest shit happens to me right out of the blue. SERIOUSLY.

2. The littlest thing can impact your life forever in a big way. And you won't necessarily know it until much later.

3. Cool earrings make all the difference in the world. I went a long time without wearing any earrings at all, then I started to again - and they change your whole appearance.

4. Someone will always find out.

5. My hairstylist told me that she took a poll and most women think straight hair on women is more attractive and most men think curly hair is more attractive on women. I have naturally curly hair, and with this knowledge I still straighten my hair most days. Go figure.

6. Candles DO change your mood.

7. Hearing someone call someone else a 'stupid motherfucker' is funny. It just IS.

8. Writing in a blog can cause all KINDS of trouble.

9. If you really look, you can see that something good always comes out of something bad. I challenge you to look back on your own life and find this.

10. It is true that if you really love someone, their happiness becomes more important than your own.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

What a day.

There is no point in going over it all. It is crisis after crisis around here. I'm not talking about breaking fingernails either, I mean REAL problems. Sometimes life and death ones. Thank God I'm calm in a crisis. I break down yesterday. 8 hours of crying. Fun shit. But then it's over and I get back to work. It is that or a padded room, you know? (Sometimes the padded room sounds pretty good though...)

I've still got froggy throat and now a big UGLY fever blister on my lip. I look sexy, let me tell ya. My head is starting to feel thick, too. Super.

The good news? It is time to go hooooome. Buh bye.
Sometimes waking up is a waste of time. I swear. I was going out to my car this morning and what do I find? The neighborhood teenagers have kicked my fence over AGAIN, but this time they destroyed the cemented post, so now it cannot be fixed. This makes my blood BOIL. I didn't do that kind of shit when I was young - toilet paper a house maybe, but not destroy property. If you see something on the news about a psychopathic woman running around in a leatherface mask shooting teenagers with a BB gun - you'll know it's me. I plead insanity.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The lymphnodes in my neck are swollen and bulging, and I'm all froggy sounding. Actually, I sound like the demon in The Exorcist. What the hell? Laryngitis? I don't talk much, so it must be viral. Neat.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Party Pics!

My friend Amy's birthday party bash. We talked, we drank and then they went to a piano bar and I didn't go because I'm lame and wanted to go to bed.

Before we begin, I have to define a Cherylism. "Creep factor" - Creep factor is what makes a horror movie good. It means disturbing, brutal, disgusting or really unnerving. It is when you can leave the theatre and say "that was fucking awesome".

OK, so now, how was Friday the 13th? Well, it wasn't bad, but it was lacking the creep factor. Even though nothing scares me, I need to feel something. It was entertaining, but I wasn't disturbed.

I finally got around to watching the Saw movies - which no one can believe it took me this long. I watched the first one and wasn't all that impressed except that it had a good twist. Much later I watched the second one and liked it, but it didn't have a rich enough creep factor for me, so I stopped watching them. Just last weekend I watched Saw III. Awesome! GREAT creep factor! SO brutal! Loved it. You definitely have to watch the unrated version though. Saw IV was pretty good too and now I'm gonna watch five this weekend.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Will you be my bloody valentine?

LOL - love that movie.

OK, so HERE'S the news: I NAILED THAT JOB I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SINCE LAST OCTOBER!!!! Wooooooooo! The one I interviewed the first time for last November when I was in California. It took a number of interviews (including a five hour face to face one!) and I received the offer letter last Wednesday. They were VERY thorough and picky, and I feel very honored that they chose me. I also feel blessed to get such a job in the state of the union. I gave notice at my contract job - which I felt terrible about - yesterday. So I can talk about it now. I was offered more money than I've EVER made with incredible benefits (no more Cobra!) and I will be working toward a goal that is near and dear to my heart - targeting cancer. My grandmother died of breast cancer.

I start the 25th in the heart of downtown Seattle on the waterfront not far from the Space Needle. It is in an area known as "Belltown". The commute will be a BITCH, but I am so excited. It will be a very challenging job for me, but I'm going to give it my all.

OK, back to Valentines Day. I'm going to go see the Friday the 13th remake. YAY! Full report when I get back - it looks well made. I am sick and twisted aren't I? One minute I'm posting Bible verses, and the next talking about horror movies. LOL!! That's me. Love me or don't. ;-)

Coming up in the next post: Friday the 13th movie review, what I think of the "Saw" movies (since I just recently watched them - I KNOW!), and pics from the party I went to last night.

Friday, February 13, 2009

OMG my blog is going to kill me...

I have to do something today that I have been dreading. Something I'm not good at, but has to be done. Wish me luck with my words. I will need it. And of COURSE it's Friday the 13th...hehe. Who wants to do a martini lunch?!? Oy.
Here is quote for ya...

Galatians 6:7-10 “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

I don't usually post quotes from the Bible, but I am today. I read this, this morning, and it really stuck in my head - especially the "Let us not lose heart in doing good" part. It is so easy to lose heart; to give up; to stay pissed off. But it's not worth it. Carrying around anger and resentment only hurts YOU. It is an awful way to live. I gave that up awhile ago, and while I still struggle with depression, I feel free of those other destructive emotions. Sure, I get grumpy like anyone else, but I'm not angry anymore. I spent MANY years hauling around that burden, and take it from me, it is NOT worth it. No good can come from it. Even to those that have hurt me I am trying to do good for - and it is quite redeeming. Not in a egotistical or smug way, but an honest and compassionate way. I like it much better.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Sappy but so true...I was sent this yesterday, and at the moment it means a lot to me.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, but also love the ones who don't because you CAN! Love can change people.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it!

Kiss slowly.

Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy, He just promised it would be worth it.

Helloooo! I'm all giddy today. Don't faint. Things are looking up and certainly getting exciting around here. Some big changes for me and unique opportunities are afoot!

For Valentine's weekend I'm going to go see the new remake of Friday the 13th (romantic!) and go to a friend's bday party at a piano bar. So it's not sounding all that bad..maybe F'in February is finally changing for me!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I have hit the motherload! I am soooo excited! Can't give details yet...but coming soon. :-)

In other news...I'm freezing and I still have cramps. I know, ya'll think I'm bi-polar or something don't you? LOL.
My glasses have fallen off of the top of my head at least 40 times this morning. I need to keep them on my face, but I am constantly putting them up to hold my hair away from my face, and if I slightly lean forward or backward, they go flying. Good thing there is carpeting here. ARG.

Funny boss story. My boss keeps putting these boxes full of parts on top of my filing cabinets, and to mess with him, I give him a hard time about them being in my way constantly. A day or so ago, I put my hands on my hips and said "these boxes are still here...have we not talked about this?" in a sarcastic tone. All of a sudden, as he was standing next to them, he reached out his arm very dramatically and did a complete SWOOP and sent the box flying; parts going everywhere. He calmly smiled and said "Better?". It startled the shit outta me and TOTALLY took me aback and I started laughing until I was crying. Then he started laughing as well as the temp. It was just classic. Too funny.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Why haven't I posted today until now? Because I have cramps from HELL. I am seriously grumpy about it. Do not approach. Eveything that has pissed me off in the last, say, month or so? highly exaggerated to me at moment.

Monday, February 09, 2009

"Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom."
-Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D.

“It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.”

"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box."
-Italian Proverb

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
-Mahatma Gandhi

"As a human being, one has been endowed with just enough intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is."
-Albert Einstein

"Once integrity is lost, the rest is a piece of cake."
- J.R. Ewing

Jean bling. Yes, I am 12 years old. I don't care, I like it. AND I found it in the WOMAN's section a few months ago. So there. My jeans have beaded hearts on them and I am way cool.
Back in the saddle...

Had a pretty nice Sunday. Woke up to a little snow this morning and a beautiful full moon. This should be an interesting week. I'm waiting on some (potentially big) news. Spent a nice day yesterday having breakfast (eggs benedict - my fav) and then took some old movies I didn't want anymore back to "Half Price Books" and exchanged them for some good old horror movies - then went back home and cooked a yummy apple smoked pork loin with homestyle potatoes. It was sooooo good. Fell asleep early and actually got more than 8 hours of sleep! I did wake up a few times, but I feel rested today.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

All is quiet on the Western Front.

I left work early on Friday to get my taxes done and am only getting enough back to pay the guy doing them. Ugg. I made too much last year (um, what?) and my itemized deductions were less this year. I wasn't feeling up to going out after that, so I went home and crashed. As usual. This morning I had one of my headaches, and have had it all day, so I have been very quiet and not moving a whole lot. I took a break from the computer, hence my absence. Sometimes it just needs to be shut off. I should shut it off for the whole weekend, but I'm not that strong yet. LOL

The headache is gone now and the house is a mess. I guess it is time to clean. Last week was challenging for me and I'm hoping for a better week next week.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

I am a doofus.

I deleted the last post by accident. Again. And it had a comment! I get so few of those, so damn it! It wasn't my best stuff, so no biggie, but I keep doing that! I need to slow it down; crank it down a notch; chill the F out. I've got nuthin' for today. Nuthin'. Maybe I should delete THIS retarded post by accident. :-/

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The body I am striving for, and KNOW I can achieve with some effort.

Obviously I will have to cut down on the Oreo's and oatmeal pies. LOL I feel this is the perfect "balance". Strong and sexy, yet not *too* muscular or man-like. I want to keep my boobs and my curves. I'm going to have Skwigg help me with a "head transplant" so that I can put the pic on my refrigerator. (A head transplant is where you take a digital photo of your own head and put it on whatever body you want.) It is a great motivator. When it's done, I'll post it. ;-)

I'm reeeeally sleepy today. I almost fell asleep driving to work. NOT GOOD. I kept waking up last night because I thought I heard someone calling my name. Weirdness. At one point I just said "WHAT?!? Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!" into thin air; to no one. I told you I was crazy. :-)

I am also starving. I could eat an entire cow right now. My tummy is making really loud grumbly noises and I'm starting to get cranky. I do not like being hungry.

There are so many things I'm anxious to talk about - but I have to wait, and, well, you know how I am with patience. Soon.

One more random thing for this disorganized post: I almost went catatonic yesterday. I was going to the ladie's room, and upon opening the door, my Crackberry went flying! (Yes, I take it to the restroom with me. Shut up.) I froze with fear as I watched it break into three pieces. I pounced on it and THANK THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY (I'm serious), I was able to put it back together. There are few things that give me joy right now, and losing "the precious" would tip me right over the edge.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Now that I'm somewhat sane again and not wanting to rip the heads off kittens, I thought I would post. I actually found it amusing that almost no one said anything - it was like you were all whispering " still..her vision is based on movement". OK, you know what? You'd lose it too if you were me! So there! I did get a really sweet comment about my smile on an earlier post that put me in a better mood. It's amazing what a little kindness can do for your spirits. :-)
Um, YES, I need to get laid, and YES I am going to. Eventually. Soon. NOW if I could. So shutty. ;-)

Yes, I just said that on the internet. What haven't I said on the internet?

Super, now I can't concentrate. LOL
OK, I lost it. It happens. I have a tremendous amount of pressure on me right now and I'd rather lose it in writing than on somebody.

Monday, February 02, 2009

For getting in boxing shape:

I'm gearing up for this.
Something I found intriguing. No one seems to understand what is about to befall this country. So be it. How is that for saying what I want to say? No one listens anyway, so whatever. People see what they want to see.

By Tim Wood 2008 December 1

I am a student of history. Professionally. I have written 15 books in six languages, and have studied history all my life. I think there is something monumentally large afoot and I do not believe it is just a banking crisis, a mortgage crisis or a credit crisis.

Yes these exist, but they are merely single facets on a very large gemstone that is only now coming into a sharper focus. Something of historic proportions is happening. I can sense it because I know how it feels, smells, what it looks like, and how people react to it. Yes, a perfect storm may be brewing, but there is something happening within our country that has been evolving for about ten - fifteen years. The pace has dramatically quickened in the past two years.

We demand and then codify into law the requirement that our banks make massive loans to people we know they can never pay back? Why?

We learned just days ago that the Federal Reserve, which has little or no real oversight by anyone, has "loaned" two trillion dollars (that is $2,000,000,000, 000) over the past few months, but will not tell us to whom or why or disclose the terms. That is our money, yours and mine.

And that is three times the 700 billion we all argued about so strenuously just this past September. Who has this money? Why do they have it? Why are the terms unavailable to us? Who asked for it? Who authorized it?

I thought this was a government of "we the people," who loaned our powers to our elected leaders. Apparently not, they now control us. We have spent two or more decades intentionally de-industrializing our economy. Why?

We have intentionally dumbed down our schools, ignored our history, and no longer teach our founding documents of why we are exceptional, and why we are worth preserving.
Students by and large cannot write, think critically, read, or articulate. Parents are not revolting, teachers are not picketing, and school boards continue to back mediocrity. Why?

We have now established the precedent of protesting every close election (now violently in California over proposition 8 that is so controversial that it wants marriage to remain between one man and one woman. Did you ever think such a thing possible just a decade ago?).

We have corrupted our sacred political process by allowing un-elected judges to write laws that radically change our way of life, and then mainstream Marxist groups like ACORN and others to turn our voting system into a banana republic. To what purpose?

Now our mortgage industry is collapsing, housing prices are in free fall, major industries are failing, our banking system is on the verge of collapse, social security is nearly bankrupt, as is Medicare and our entire government, our education system is worse than a joke (I teach college and know precisely what I am talking about) the list is staggering in its length, breadth, and depth. It is potentially 1929 x ten.

And we are at war with an enemy we cannot name for fear of offending people of the same religion, who cannot wait to slit the throats of your children if they have the opportunity to do so.
And now we have elected a man no one knows anything about, who has never run so much as a Dairy Queen, let alone a town as big as Wasilla, Alaska. All of his associations and alliances are with real radicals in their chosen fields of employment, religion and everything we learn about him, drip by drip, is unsettling if not downright scary (Surely you have heard him speak about his idea to create and fund a mandatory civilian defense force stronger than our military for use inside our borders? No? Oh, of course the media would never play that for you over and over and then demand he answer it. Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter and $150,000 wardrobe is more important.)

Mr. Obama's winning platform can be boiled down to one word: change. Why?
I have never been so afraid for my country and for my children as I am now. This man campaigned on bringing people together, something he has never, ever done in his professional life.

In my assessment, Obama will divide us along philosophical lines, push us apart, and then try to realign the pieces into a new and different power structure.

Change is indeed coming. And when it comes, you will never see the same nation again. And that is only the beginning to a world social government. I thought I would never be able to experience what the ordinary, moral German felt in the mid-1930's. In those times, the messiah was a former smooth-talking rabble-rouser from the streets, about whom the average German knew next to nothing. What they did know was that he was associated with groups that shouted, shoved, and pushed around people with whom they disagreed; he edged his way onto the political stage through great oratory and promises.

Economic times were tough, people were losing jobs, and he was a great speaker. And he smiled and waved a lot. And people, even newspapers, were afraid to speak out for fear that his "brown shirts" would bully them into submission.

And then, he was duly elected to office, a full-throttled economic crisis at hand [the Great Depression]. Slowly but surely he seized the controls of government power, department-by- department, person-by-person, bureaucracy- by-bureaucracy.

The kids joined a Youth Movement in his name, where they were taught what to think. How did he get the people on his side? He did it promising jobs to the jobless, money to the indigent, and goodies for the military-industrial complex.

He did it by indoctrinating the children, advocating gun control, health care for all, better wages, better jobs, and promising to re-instill pride once again in the country, across Europe, and across the world.

He did it with a compliant media; did you know that?

And he did this all in the name of justice and 'CHANGE'.

And the people surely got what they voted for. (Look it up if you think that I am exaggerating. )
Read your history books.

Many people objected in 1933 and were shouted down, called names, laughed at, and made fun of. When Winston Churchill pointed out the obvious in the late 1930's while seated in the House of Lords in England (he was not yet Prime Minister), he was booed into his seat and called a crazy troublemaker. He was right, though.

Don't forget that Germany was the most educated, cultured country in Europe. It was full of music, art, museums, hospitals, laboratories, and universities.

And in less than six years, a shorter time span than just two terms of a U.S. presidency, it was rounding up its own citizens, killing others, abrogating its laws, turning children against parents, and neighbors against neighbors, all with the best of intentions of course. The road to Hell is always paved with them.

As a practical thinker, one not overly prone to emotional decisions, I have a choice: I can either believe what the objective pieces of evidence tell me (even if they make me cringe with disgust); I can believe what history is shouting to me from across the chasm of seven decades; or I can hope I am wrong by closing my eyes, having another drink, and ignoring what is transpiring around me.

Some people scoff at me, others laugh, or think I am foolish, naive, or both. Perhaps I am. But I have never been afraid to look people in the eye and tell them exactly what I believe and why I believe it.

I pray I am wrong. Pray with me for the truth, because the truth will set us free.

Screw today. I did not get a damn thing accomplished this weekend. I have so many projects I need to work on - back up my hard drive, organize my digital pictures, clean out my closet and get rid of clothes, finish painting, clean out the refrigerator and pantry, groom the dogs, the list goes on and on and on. I'm feeling unmotivated. I feel as though the life energy has been sucked out of my soul. How do you get that back? How do you crawl out of Satan's colon? I want to beat my own head against a wall, then shake the shit out of other people who are not cooperating with me. There are things that are bugging me. B.U.G.G.I.N.G me. Things that do NOT add up or make sense. I used to think the world was black and white - it either IS or it ISN'T. But ya know? Not that simple. You can assume things are that way - but there always seems to be some unexplained elements. Some things that throw a monkey wrench in the whole theory.

Life does NOT obey our expectations and it does not care about our agenda. Life has an agenda of it's own and good luck going up against it.

How would we handle things if we could put fear aside? If you could do or say what you REALLY wanted to? How would that change your world?
Greetings fellow insomniacs!

Sometimes I really hate being alone with my thoughts. Don't you? Do you have things that dominate your thoughts like I do? Questions without answers, feelings that make no sense? Wanting to get up up out of bed, but feeling paralyzed in a way?

Yeah, me neither.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Oh and the best commercials? Definitely the Doritos/crystal ball one and the Bud Light one where the office guy gets hucked out the window. LOL. OK, and I did laugh at the "Hate your job?" one. "Hi Dummy!". Hehe...
You know what is funny today? My friend Jenny and I have been texting each other throughout the game..."Did you see that!?!". "Oh no!". "Go Arizona!". "Stupid Steelers!!". We are both rather amped and ticked off at the moment. We're like a couple of guys - you'd think we had bet money on the game or something.
I really need to watch the Steelers lose today.