I have two weeks left, but everyone else had to leave today. Very sad.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The phone interview went well. The lady interviewing me commented that she wasn't supposed to ask me "personal questions" but wanted to ask some (fun ones) and I said "sure!" and we chatted and laughed for awhile. I LIKE THAT! Job-wise they need a lot of controls established, which is my forte! I am supposed to be scheduled for a face to face interview in a week or two because the company is crazy-busy (good sign!) so they asked for my patience. I have none of that, but I am pleased with them so far, so OK.
I have never been so busy in all my life. Not even when I had 2 jobs and a scrapbooking business. Seriously. All I feel like I'm doing is running in circles. Emails...phone calls...paperwork...interviews...getting 3 months of work done in the next two weeks...computer guy coming tomorrow to get files off of my old fried laptop, taking the car in for work on Monday, training other people to do my work, buying another airline ticket to go to Cali to drive my mom back, going to those market research thingees where they pay you cash for your opinion, order dog food, call Cobra, call Fidelity, go get blood drawn, take dog to vet, AAAAAHHHHHHH!
Anyway, I have another interview today and this is an important one. It is a phone interview, but I'm really interested in this job. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
I have an interview today. I'm all dressed up; hair in a french twist. I really hate interviews. I want to waltz in there and tell them just to save time because I can do this job in my sleep and no one else will be as accurate as my anal retentive, perfectionist ass who will make friends with everyone instead of piss off all the engineers like most people in my field do. I hate beating around the bush. Let's just get the job done. Instead I have to be all politically correct and sell my talents gracefully. Bah!
Monday, October 27, 2008
I'm trying to pull up. It is hard watching your world crash around you. I am just so overwhelmed I can't even think. I have 2 audits to get my company through (just found out about a surprise FDA audit next week - neat) and some of my hopeful prospects are not living up to my expectations. I just can't even GUESS what my future holds right now. I'm trying not to worry about it, but I'm not exactly a Pollyanna kind of person. I'm a bit jaded. I call it realistic.
I got an email about a job in Colorado. Interesting. I'll think about it.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I've been working like a dog getting this place ready! It does look way cool if I do say so myself. There will be lots of pics - so you all who are invited better dress up or your un-costumed-ass will be plastered all over the internet. 8-)
Friday, October 24, 2008
You know what strikes me funny right now? The illusion of control. If you think you have control of ANYTHING, you are fooling yourself. You have free will, but no control. Trust me. Like when you are driving a car. You can exercise your free will to follow the rules of the road, go the speed limit, wear your seat belt, and you "feel" in control of the car. But you could get sideswiped. A meteor could fall on you. A deer could run out in front of you. Then you would lose control...because you NEVER HAD IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. That works with any scenario I can think of. You came to my blog today. You were in control of where you surfed the internet, right? Wrong. You used your free will to come here, a decision you made, but what if there was an EMP and all of a sudden no internet was available? What if I deleted my blog? No control. Just free will to make decisions based on availability and other factors. And why did you come to my blog today? (Just my own curiousity...hehe) You have a weird free will. ;-)
Anyway, off of that rant...
I have decided that free will and decision making can suck sometimes. It would be nice right now to just have someone pointing me in the right direction. Petting my head and feeding me Bon-Bons. So much is at stake for me and I'm just pooped out.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Laying here feels different tonight. I feel slightly paralyzed, like something or someone is holding me down, or not allowing me to move much. I feel alone; empty in a way. I'm asking God what to do. Do I do the smart, rational thing and just take a similar job, or do I do something radical? Should I play it safe or risk everything? The world is a crazy place right now and I have some feelings about what will transpire (globally) before the end of the year. I think some may be very surprised. Risk is risky. But then again, no one gets out of here alive. ;-)
I have applied for some jobs in both Texas and California, and I have a pretty good prospect right here in WA, too. My friends, family and coworkers have been so great to me - I owe so many people my life, and I would gladly do anything for any of them.
The trouble is, I know what I want, but the decisions to get there can be tricky. And then there is this: is what I want good for me? Is there such a thing as destiny? Fate? I'm just an ordinary person, but these are things I ponder.
What would you do if you were me?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
This has all happened for a reason, I know that for sure.
I'm in good spirits, however, because some pretty great opportunities have presented themselves to me. I won't be able to talk about those right away of course, though.
Going home for the day to regroup.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I don't know anything yet. Big meeting tomorrow morning - I'll know then. Another fun night of wondering.
You know what? I'm ready for something good to happen to me. I really am. More than just my job scenario. I want to be happy for at least a little while. Please? God? Live in my dream for a day? or more?
I do wish I could talk to my dad right now. I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but I remember when I was first a cop - my dad was so excited. My mom was freaking out, but my dad was excited. He bought a scanner so he could try and listen to my radio calls. I was good on the radio, maybe I should do dispatch. Sadly, it's not enough money.
I have to git - you'll know when I know.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Have you ever felt like something big was going to happen? Or have you ever wanted something so bad you thought you were going to break in two?
Can't follow my thoughts? Welcome to my world.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I keep having the same dream over and over again. It is actually a wonderful dream instead of the nightmares I usually have, but the problem is when I open my eyes and realize it isn't real. And it's not something I can "make" real.
Anyway, I'm just rambling here. Maybe you can relate, maybe you can't, but thanks for reading all the same.
Goodnight my dear readers, even if I don't know you.
Now I get to clean the house with a hangover and wonder all weekend if I'll have a job on Monday. That is, if they tell us then.
I'm in kind of a bad mood so I'll blog later. I just wanted to let my friends know I was alive.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Back to work tomorrow; won't know anything until next week. Just going to kick back and relax the rest of the day.
No more fun Cali pics. :(
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
It's hot! Finally! I ran upstairs to put my swimsuit on and promptly got poolside. My mom and I are going out to a nice dinner for my last night so I get to dress up. Well, not super fancy, but you know, put my hair up and wear bling.
I'm out on the patio off my bedroom gazing at the stars (and blogging). I am guzzling water, too - Carl's make me thirsty. Other than smelling the California fires in the distance, it is really nice out here. I can see Orion, and the Big and Little Dippers. I am surprised I can see the stars so clearly here. It is not as quiet as back home, but it is peaceful. I don't believe in Astrology, I actually think it's kind of dumb (sorry), but Astronomy fascinates me. I could look at the stars for hours.
I wonder where I'll be a year from now, and what I will be doing. It's scary and exciting to think about it. My mom said something along those lines tonight - she wondered what the next year would bring. She asked me what I was doing this time last year and one of the beauties of having a blog, I could tell her. I had just smashed my thumb into oblivion. LOL. I had no idea what was in store for me. Isn't it funny how you really never can guess what life is gonna do? Yes, it has been a tough year, and there are many people I miss, but there were some good things too. Some good things that changed my life. I didn't see any of it coming - but I'm glad about that. Bad surprises and good surprises. And many more to come.
Right now? I'm just trying to live in the moment.
Monday, October 13, 2008
My mom went to bed and I've been left alone with my thoughts. I went out in the back yard and stuck my footies in the pool.
I'm thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about. I'm scared. Everyone keeps saying it will be alright, and not to worry, but I feel alone. It is hard to have hope sometimes; being human and all. There is nothing I can do about anything that is happening (or not happening) to me. I pray that God will give me peace regardless of where I end up.