Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Just Couldn't Help Myself

I was resistant to remaining on "online dating" sites any longer - but I kept myself on one of them just for the hell of it.  Out of 1004 emails over the last year on this one site (whew!) I have only responded to maybe 5 of them.  Yeah, I'm pretty picky.  One came along the other day, and even though he is older than the men I usually date, he is OH SO SEXY.  and distinguished!  Seriously ladies, don't you think so?  To hell with George Clooney..this George makes my heart race when I talk to him.  He is very well spoken and responsive to me, however he lives in Northern California (damn it!) but we are still getting to know each other anyway.  Those eyes...sigh.  You never know.

The guy before him that contacted me revealed in his 5th email that he had a girlfriend, but was definitely interested in "occassional and discreet" naughty fun.  DIRT BAG.  And people wonder why women (especially me) have trust issues.  However, instead of being mean and going off on him, I simply said "oh, too bad, my sexual appetite is just too strong for "occassional and discreet".  LOL...I can't help it.  I feel sorry for his girlfriend - this is why I stay "unattached" and have backups.  hahaha

OH SO SEXY George.  :-)

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Moonstruck

Driving home from work tonight, the biggest moon I've ever seen emerged.  The pictures I took when I got home don't even come CLOSE to how it really looks.  I feel like I could just reach out and touch it.  I wish I could capture just how gorgeous it is, but I am no professional photographer and my equipment is lacking.  My Nikon does well, but this truly is a sight.

While I had the camera out, thought I would take a few pics of the pups.  Maggie and my mom's dog, Molly.

Okay, I'm hungry.

Ciao!





This is how it REALLY looks...

Sunday, March 04, 2012

Peace, Quiet and Sunshine

I just spent two glorious days in utter and complete bliss.  I have been laying in the 85-degree sun reading in my backyard, loving on my dog, swimming in my pool and just "being".  I feel incredibly relaxed.  Bills are paid, work is at work and my brain is happy and stress-free.  This is the good life.  Right here, right now.

There was a slight breeze as I laid down on my sunning chair just after getting out the pool.  The sun felt so good on my skin and as the pool water dripped down my back from my wet hair, it kept me cool.  I could smell my mom's jasmine in the planter behind me.  I watched Maggie stretch her back legs out behind her as she soaked in the scene as well.  The only noise was my pool heater humming, which makes me smile.  No one was bothering me, asking me questions, wanting things from me.  Peace.  I found it.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My Friend Brandi, An Honorary CrazyDogMama...

Brandi does not own a pet store nor run an animal shelter, she just has 4 German Shepherds and 3 cats.  Going to Costco with her is amusing.  :-)  All the dog/cat food weighs more than she does.

Monday, February 27, 2012

An intellectual? Really?

I took this test thingy (my intellectualness coming out here) and this was the result:

YOU ARE STRIVING TO BE KNOWLEDGEABLE



You are an intellectual: As a leader, you're often ahead of your time. As an employee, you try to surpass the competence level of peers, even managers. Incisive and curious, you're driven to deeply understand how things work. But that's things, not people. Oh, your family and friends are important; it's just that you don't need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn't your goal—you're secure enough in your cerebral pursuits.


When you can't find a way to be the expert, you may withdraw or simply withhold information. If you feel yourself retreating into your own world, seek a friend's help to pull you back. Also balance your cerebral tendencies through physical activities.


You discover who you are meant to be through accumulating insight and knowledge. So follow your curiosity. Are you drawn to learning Mandarin? Joining a philosophy society? Delving into the complexities of computer programming? Pursuits that place you near the leading edge of technology, science, psychology, academia, or business are good bets. But any situation that allows you to work independently with freedom to investigate and innovate will fuel your drive. Don't feel pressured to run the company or lead the project; you may be even more effective as someone's right hand. And you'll likely find working with other people more meaningful than flying solo.


Life will have meaning for you as long as you feel stimulated. That might mean chasing twisters, exploring the polar ice caps, getting a degree in dance therapy, or becoming an astronaut. It might also mean reading new books, attending workshops, or letting yourself get swept up in an intoxicating romance. As a risk-lover with a lot of energy, you're a natural entrepreneur. You'll be happiest if you change jobs every so often and travel extensively. Movement is what keeps you going.

Out of Control Cuteness


This is a Cairn Terrier puppy...seriously sweet!


You CAN train Cairn Terriers!!  I'm definitely not an Obama fan...but this is way cute!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

What a Week

I had to leave work early yesterday, because in mid-sentence with some co-workers, my whole body went red and I started getting welts everywhere.  Allergic reaction!  To what?  I have no idea and neither does anyone else.  My heart started beating super fast, I hurled twice, took some Benedryl and did 90 on the freeway home.  I wasn't about to pay a $100 copay for the stupid emergency room.  I have an epi-pen if stop breathing.  I'm fine now.

My moms are out doing something tonight, and my friend Lisa is coming over in a few minutes.  We are going to make chicken enchiladas, margaritas and watch a horror movie.  I turned the pool heater on this morning, but I don't know if it will be warm enough by tonight.  It was down to 60 degrees, and I like 85.  Probably won't be ready until tomorrow.  And that's it.  That's all.  Big whoop.

Monday, February 20, 2012

My 4-Day Weekend

I've become paralyzingly boring.  Seriously.  Friday I slept, watched a little TV and ate dinner out with moms.  Saturday I went to an eye appt., got tires for my SUV, then ended up taking it to the shop for new brakes, rotors, shocks and a new front left hub bearing and ate dinner with moms.  Sunday I slept.  Monday I went to a doctor appt., read, slept and watched TV.  End of story.  Pathetic.  My vehicle is not yet ready, so I am working from home tomorrow, plus Maggie is going the vet again.  Tell me again how this happened.  I used to be fun.  My blog is even boring.  Shit.  Kill me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

An Unexpected Valentine

Driving home from work my phone chimed.  Joe.  "Happy Valentine's Day, Cheryl"  He always remembers me on holidays.  All holidays.  It made me smile.  More than I thought it would.

We ended up talking for most of the night.  I'm not sure I understand.  If there is anything to understand.  Will somebody please help me with this?  We never really had an "official" relationship, but we said many sweet things to each other.  We didn't really "break up" either, life just happened and we seemed to drift apart with our busy schedules and distance (he lives over an hour away).  I think about him often, and apparently he thinks of me too.  Normally (in my experience anyway) if a man decides he doesn't want to date you, you never hear from him again.  I make it easy for them and give them a hassle-free escape, if that is what they want.  But Joe always contacts me on special days without any prompting.

I suppose I will just enjoy it for what it is.  But it is perplexing to me.  On Thanksgiving when I heard from him he said this: "Hope you and your mom have a wonderful Thanksgiving - I am very blessed and thankful for my family and friends, and meeting the most extraordinary people (that would be you).  I hope you know how special you are."  Guys don't talk like that.  Of course Joe is the one my mother likes.  Go figure.  I don't know.  I truly resolve to know nothing here.  Life is strange.

Happy VD

Wanna be mine?

I'm going to get in trouble for this...

My mom.  She weighs about 100 pounds.  We went out to Mexican food last night and she had two sangrias.  Which knocked her on her ass.  As we were driving off in the car, she exclaimed "Wheeeeee!".  I suggested we go get some coffee.  I ordered a mocha.  The barista asked, "Hot or Cold?".  I said "Hot".  My mother then blurted out..."I want an iced latte, hot!".  Gotta love her.

LOL!!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Just Hangin'

I saw John last night for the first time in awhile.  We had a really good time - went to our favorite dive bar and I rolled into my driveway at 5:07 am this morning.  I kind of backed away a little before as things were getting a little serious, and he needed to concentrate on his business, but he started emailing me and texting me again a few weeks ago and I couldn't help but say yes to seeing him.  Missed his lips!  LOL.  But it's all good, we actually have a lot in common and spent most of the wee hours of the morning talking.  How I love that.

Here is the big news...I'm mortgage free!  Actually, I'm completely debt-free for the first time in my life!  House in WA finally closed, truck is paid off, credit cards are paid off and I make more salary now than I ever thought possible.  I'm in heaven!!!  Ah, how things change.  And I worked my ass off for it. 

John still paid for drinks, though, gotta love him.  :-)

Got up around 2:30 pm today (well, hey, I got home at 5 am...), made an espresso and been reading.  (I'm currently reading "The Leopard" by Jo Nesbo and it is sooooo good!)  I'm all cuddled up with Mags because it is freezing.  Yes, I'm freezing at 60 degrees, shut it.  We even have the heat on in the house, hehe.  I'm an official California weather weenie now.

Monday, February 06, 2012

Oh Holy Hell!

So my LinkedIn account just sent EVERY.SINGLE.PERSON who has EVER emailed me an invitation to connect.  So yes, that includes my ex, old boyfriends and every creep I've dated in the last two years.  Jesus God help me.  I'm sorry everyone who just got bombarded.  You can link me back of course if you still like me...LOL  How embarrassing.  Life certainly is interesting when technology goes berserk.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Wancakes and The Excavator

I had the bright idea this morning to make waffles with my handy dandy waffle iron.  I thought I had waffle mix.  I did not.  My mom said "Just use Bisquick, its the same thing".  For the record, NOT TRUE.  I also thought it would be a great idea to put chocolate chips in the batter as well as substitute vegetable oil with coconut oil (which is the cure for cancer I'm convinced, but I'll save that for another blog).  Let's just say my intentions were well meant.

I followed the recipe on the back of the Bisquick box.  Looked good, smelled good.  Poured the batter onto the waffle iron grid.  Nice and thick, perfect!  Lid down. I watched the batter ooze and gooze out the sides and onto the counter (I could hear my mother's head exploding) and went about making the bacon.  A few minutes later, I raised up the lid excited to see my waffle creation.  It looked like someone had vomited up flies.  Sooo not what a waffle should look like.  OK, well, shit.  I got the Bisquick box back out and noticed that the only difference between waffles and pancakes was 1 egg.  Cool.  I put another egg in my batter and got out the pancake pan.  I pushed the waffle iron aside.

I brought out a nice plate of pancakes with butter and syrup accompanied by crisp bacon out to Ma.  She was nice and ate one, but the look on her face resembled that of a 6 year old who desperately wanted to spit the broccoli back out onto to their plate and go back outside and play, but if they did they would be punished and sent to their room.

She excused herself from the table and spent the next hour cleaning my waffle iron mumbling something about going OUT for dinner.  Okay, so it wasn't my best culinary moment.  Bisquick blows.
_________________________________________________

Dinner at Claim Jumper.  Cath, Ma and myself went out for a tasty meal.  Afterward, we all ordered dessert.  I had the mini English toffee cake (yum!) and Cath and Ma split an eclair.  I laughed because both of them are skimpy eaters and the damn thing was the size of a watermelon.  Watching them share it was...how should I say this...like watching the female version of "Grumpy Old Men".  My mom went right for the custard inside with a spoon, as Cath just forked off pieces at her end.  By the time they got to the middle I watched Cath's brow furrow as she tilted her head sideways with a WTF look and exclaimed "You excavated all the custard out!"  The only thing missing was a comma and the word "asshole" after that sentence.  LOL  They bantered back and forth about it for several minutes.  It was better than Comedy Central, I tell ya.

And that was my excitement for the weekend.  There was NO FOOTBALL at our house.  I read most of the day instead.

Friday, February 03, 2012

oh YES!

I am so excited for this one...tune in with me on Feburary 7th!  It's about time they put some good shows back on television...are you as sick of reality shows and crap sitcoms as I am?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0vyOVj-5fs

Thursday, February 02, 2012

New Reads...CRAZY GOOD


I love answering questions.

1. Would you rather be an Olympic athlete or win American Idol?

Olympic athlete. The only thing I hate more than “American Idol” is “Desperate Housewives”.

2. If you could live in any US city, which would it be?

You know, I like right where I’m at! Although I’m sure once I start doing more traveling, I will fall in love with other US cities. I really want to go to New Orleans this year.  I really enjoyed NY, but I wouldn't want to live there more than a year.

3. What was the first blog you ever read?

Skwigg!

4. What was your favorite CD in 7th grade?

They did not have CD’s when I was in the 7th grade. :-/

5. Mac or PC?

PC

6. Who was your first kiss?

Eric. I met him at church camp in 9th grade. He was a rocker with LONG hair. LOL

7. Sandwich or salad?

Sandwich. Big one.

8. Country music or rap?

Country

9. If you had no restraints (time, money, etc.), is there something different you would do with your life at this moment?
 
I would go adopt a bunch of dogs from rescue and hire someone to clean up poop and wash out crates.
 
10. Who was the last person you talked with on the phone?
 
Jenny.  We are trying to figure out a way to go to Hawaii in April or May!
 
11. The last movie you saw in the theater?
 
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
 
12. Something you are ashamed of.
 
My last ping pong game at work.  Maybe that's what's wrong with my wrist.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Innovation

So apparently we don't have a lid for this pan.  LOL.  My mom, so clever.


Speaking of clever, I'm not so much.  I got a call from Corporate today, and I spoke with a manager who asked me to take the lead on a project.  OK, sure, no problem.  They want me to reconfigure our entire change process to make it more efficient.  Sure!  Just let me start messing with the coding for our 3 million dollar software!  Piece of cake!  Holy fucking shit.  Are you KIDDING me?  I'm the one that crashes it weekly, don't they know?  I knew there was going to be a catch to that atomic raise they gave me.  Fuuuuck.  Goodbye, life, nice knowing you.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Those damn birds again!

The Kindle Fire rocks.  However, don't let the $199 price tag fool you.  After you buy the leather case, a new state-of-the-art router, start using the one touch "buy" button for apps, kindle books and other little goodies...your bank account is down roughly $500.  Bah!

I had an awesome evening with fam & friends eating pizza, drinking lemon drop martini's and playing cards (Disney UNO - it has "evil" cards!!).  My friend Lisa and I stayed up past everyone else watching 'Everybody Loves Raymond' reruns, then she fell asleep and I played the new Angry Birds 2012 seasons "Year of the Dragon" and OMG the next thing I knew it was 3 am. This did not help my wrist at all. (see post below.)  I need the new ABA group therapy - Angry Birds Anonymous, where everyone sits arounds twitching in withdrawl making grunting hitler pig noises.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

OUCH

Leave it to me to injure myself.  My wrist is unhappy.  It hurts so bad I can hardly stand it.  I don't even know for sure how I did it, and I don't know yet what is wrong with it.  The doctor thinks I probably damaged a tendon, but it feels broken to me and ACHES.  X-rays won't be ready until next week and they won't give me painkillers!  (Time for a new doctor)  I have to wear this damn thing for 4 weeks.  I can't do any friggin' thing.  Driving hurts.  Sleeping hurts.  Drinking a beverage hurts.  Typing hurts. Changing channels on the remote hurts. You should see my hair.

Andy, my boss, yelled at me on Friday (he is so awesome, I love him) because I wouldn't go home.  Before lunch he said "You need to go home and stop trying to type with a broken wrist.  For God's sake you are typing with your body at a 35 degree angle because of that thing!  I'm going to lunch.  If you aren't gone by the time I get back...oh forget it, I know you'll still be here.  I don't know why I bother..."(mumble, mumble, mumble and waving his hands in the air as he walks out the door...)  An hour later he walks in back from lunch, sees me, shakes his head and says "Of course you are still here...", goes in his office and shuts the door.  LOL

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

A spending spree for me! Because Christmas is over.

I decided to purchase 13 items off of my Amazon wish list on a whim.  I *LOVE* that I can do that!  There are still 45 items being wished for on there, so I wasn't ridiculous about it or anything.  Among those 13 items is a Kindle Fire, Black Gel Eyeliner, and a couple of Blu-Ray DVD's.

Black Gel Eyeliner...

...so I can do "cat eyes" like this!

New Kindle Fire!  Funness!

DVD to add to my horror collection.

So weird, yet so awesome!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Old Days and Nowadays

My mother bought a few old movies.  I've never really enjoyed old movies before, and never took the time to watch any of them, but she insisted so I gave in.  We just watched "Bell, Book and Candle" with James Stewart, Kim Novac and Jack Lemmon.  OK, I admit it, I enjoyed it.  Actors of old are a little dramatic, but it works.

But what really struck me was how romance was so different.  I get so sick of watching movies where two people meet and they are in bed in 5 minutes, then it doesn't work out and they meet another, and then more sex in 5 minutes.  It bugs me.  I guess I don't belong in this era, huh?  Everyone I know has given in to the current times, but seriously, if I slept with every guy I dated...well...GOOD GOD, GROSS!  But being old fashioned gets you nowhere, let me tell you.  I guess that is why I'm flying solo.  Sex is great, don't get me wrong, but how it is thrown around so carelessly now just makes me ill.  I can't tell you how many times I've met a guy and they would ask me how big my boobs are or how I felt about anal sex on the first frigging phone call.  I mean, COME ON.  Call me nutty, but I just hung up.  But it's not just guys - if you won't do it, be assured there is a woman not 20 feet from you who will.  I can't, or should I say won't, compete with that.

In the last two years of dating, I've met only one man who was sincerely respectful.  Joe.  I wish it would of worked out because he really was quite chivalrous, and I have to tell you that his behavior was more of a turn-on to me than anything else.  Oh well.  I'm off to watch another sappy old movie, 'The Ghost and Mrs. Muir'.  LOL

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Alcatraz!

"LOST" was the best series on Television, EVER.  The same producers (J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot) have now come out with "Alcatraz" - which started last night, and it has Hurley in it!  It was a 2-hour premier and I am totally hooked already.  I recommend!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Hot damn, I done did good!!

Here is where I get to brag a little about myself, which is rare.

Ever since I was promoted to management and relocated down to California by my company to be part of the build-out of our new plant in Seal Beach, my workload has been, well, INSANE.  Not only has there been a ton to do, but it had to be done with impossible deadlines, minimal staff and with dead-on accuracy.  It was a lot of pressure over a long span of time.  Not only have I managed to double my salary in two years, but I just received special recognition AND reward by executive management for going above and beyond the call of duty.

When called into the Director's office, I was FLOORED at the reward and fumbled for words.  I'm surprised I didn't burst out in tears.  I really just wasn't expecting that.  I've always kind of felt like this easily replaceable peon, but I was just told that our commercialization here could "not have been done without me".  Well, I don't know about that, but I have to say it sure felt good to hear it!  The Director kept saying things like "Yes, we DID notice all those late nights, weekends and holidays you worked, and yes we DID get personal feedback sent to us from many individuals from all the different sites saying how much they appreciated your help, flexibility and attitude.  You are well liked and sought out over your counterparts."

I am kind of in a stupor about it.  I should probably snap out of it and get to work before they take it all back.  :-D

Friday, January 13, 2012

Motherly Advice

It is ex-fucking-hausting having two goddamned mothers.

Biological (Bio) Mom: You need to call the doctor.
Godmother (not fairy): You really should call the doctor.
Bio Mom: Have you called the doctor yet?
Godmother: Call the doctor on your lunch break.
Bio Mom: Don't forget to call the doctor.
Godmother: Why haven't you called the doctor?
Bio Mom: You really need to tell the doctor you aren't taking those pills anymore.
Godmother: Let me know what the doctor says.
Bio Mom:  When are you going to call the doctor?
Godmother: Did you get the link I sent you?  Show it to the doctor.
Bio Mom:  Why don't you schedule a Saturday appt.?
Bio Mom:  You haven't called the doctor, HAVE YOU?!?

Me:  Shut up!  Both of you!  The more ya'll bug me, the more I don't wanna call the doctor.  Leave me ALONE.

Bio Mom (on the phone with Godmother):  She just said the more we bug her, the longer she will take to call the doctor.  She says she hates doctors - they don't help - they just tell her to lose more weight and quit smoking.  I know!  Well it's her fucking life if she wants to be that way.

Me to the blogosphere:  Help me, please.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

AMEN, Frank Kaiser!

"One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, now in my 70s, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence.  But, I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I've learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty. As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

-An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.

-An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.

-An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!

And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

-Her libido's stronger.

-Her fear of pregnancy's gone.

-Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

-And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

-Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“If the Lord made anything better than a woman, He kept it for Himself.” — Jerry Lee Lewis

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!

-Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

-Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.

-An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.

-Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few.  Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 75 there's a bald, paunchy relic with his yellow pants belted at his armpits making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for my fellow geezers. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you've become. Without the distraction of some demanding old coot clinging and whining his way into your serenity."

-Frank Kaiser

Monday, January 09, 2012

Books and Big Rings

After finishing "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in 3 days, I am now on a reading kick.  I like the escape into other people's messed up lives; rather than dwelling on my own.  Here is the current lineup:

The second book in the series...a given that it will be awesome.

This one caught my eye at Costco on Saturday -- a woman who has isolated herself, and also there are dogs in it.  Perfect.  Can't go wrong with that, and it gets high reviews to boot.

I get a bazillion magazines and catalogs in the mail because my preferred shopping method is online.  (Shopping is way better while done in jammies, coffee in hand and dogs at feet.  No getting dressed, no driving and no getting annoyed with crowds.)  I saw this (real) sapphire ring and decided I needed it for my middle finger.  It looks like a man's ring in the picture, but it isn't.






Thursday, January 05, 2012

All my shows...

Yeah.  I watch a lot of TV.  I have zero energy when I get home from work like most people, so I plop my butt down in the recliner and zone out.  I also have no life to speak of at the moment, so there ya go. 

The newest show in my arsenal is "Rizzoli and Isles".  It is this cheesy little cop show that is totally inaccurate, but I love Rizzoli - a smart ass female detective.  If I would have stayed in that line of work, I would totally be her, except I'm not tall, skinny or brunette.  I usually don't like those kind of shows, but this one stuck for some reason.  My mom got me hooked on "Bones", too.  The rest of my DVR consists of "Big Bang Theory" (I heart Sheldon), "Two and a Half Men" -- and even though it was technically a better show when Charlie was in it, Ashton is growing on me, I have to admit.  He is much more lovable.  In real life I cannot abide a stupid man, but it works in a sitcom.

Then there are my beloved HBO series.  "Enlightened", "True Blood" and "The Big C".  Oh, and let's not forget the history, discovery, animal planet and other such channels.  Gotta watch me some mega disasters, UFO sitings, paranormal stuff and scary, elusive creature entertainment.  Armageddon week is over, though.  Bah!  :-(

When my DVR is empty, I watch movies.  Nothing else was on, so I watched "Soul Surfer" the other night.  Surprisingly, it was a really good flick.  I actually felt quite inspired and all warm and fuzzy at the end.  Not typical emotions for me.  Usually I'm balling, annoyed and flipping off the TV screen by the end of a sappy film.  I think I'm perimenopausal, so that really just doesn't help.

I'm sick of typing now, so bye.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

What sucks worse than going back to work?

Getting 2 hours of sleep before having to go back to work.  I am naturally a night owl, so if I have more than 4 days off in a row, I get all turned around.  So, for instance, my new hours became: go to bed at 4 am and wake up at noon.  Oftentimes those hours also included a nap around 3 pm.  Yes, really.  I had to wake up at 7 am today, and it is now 2:30 pm.  I want to die, pure and simple.  I've had two espressos and an energy shot, and it is still an effort to sit up in my chair.  When someone asks me a question, I have a delayed response of about 3 minutes.

I got a brochure in the mail for my local community college and they are now offering cheap classes for non-students.  I am going to take a journalism class, a digital photography class and an Adobe Photoshop class - all for about $150 plus materials.  I need to fill my life with more than work -- sleep -- eat.

Speaking of eating, it is time for my snack.  An Ostrim stick.

Favorite blogger statement of 2011, regarding the yearly OB visit:  "So then came the fun part, you know, when the doctor inserts a car jack into your vagina."  -Dooce

Favorite realization of 2011:  I can say VAGINA whenever I want with NO consequences!!!  Oh, didn't I tell you about almost getting disowned by my former in-laws?  Yeah, I said "Vagina" on Easter.  You seriously wouldn't believe what was discussed at our holiday dinner table this year!  Oh wait, yes you would.  VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA!

I cannot follow a thought all the way through at the moment, so that is why this post goes all over the place like I took too big of a hit off a joint.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

2012!

Well, here we are - 2012!  What will this year bring?  It is my first post of the new year and I am happy to report that I am feeling pretty good.  I drank entirely too much coffee last night so that I could ring in the new year at midnight, but the coffee lasted a little longer than intended and I didn't fall asleep until 4 am.  Bah!  It is time to take the Christmas decorations down, do my laundry, program my new universal remote and my new state-of-the-art GPS.  I also change out my picture frames with my favorite pics from the year now as a tradition.

I wished all my friends and family a Happy New Year and took Mags for a quick car ride up to the store.  I tried one of those small 5-hour energy drinks, and WEEEEE they work!  I'm all shaky like I had 15 cups of coffee.  My mom is making me her best dish tonight - roast with potatoes and carrots.  I love how she carmelizes the carrots and the potatoes have the roast juice all over them.  Yum!  I don't go back to work until Tuesday, but I saved all the un-fun tasks I need to do at home for today and tomorrow.  What was I thinking?  Starting out the New Year with chores.  Hrmph!  I need to re-think this next time.

Well I hear my mama-san getting the Christmas boxes out -- guess that means it is time to get going.  Happy New Year to you all!  Hope this is your best year yet!

xoxo - Crazydogmama

Friday, December 30, 2011

I did it!

I just spent THREE days straight finishing "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" book before I went and saw the movie.  I am a slow reader, but I ingest every word into my memory.  The movie was good, but the book was phenomenal!  The first third is back story, the second third is fascinating, and the last third explodes all over the place!  Lisbeth is awesome.  LOVE what she does to the rapist...and now that this idea is out there - every "rapist pig" better watch out.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas Eve!

OK, here's the scoop.  Went to the doctor.  She didn't seem alarmed - said it was probably an infection.  I'm on antibiotics for now, getting a chest xray next week just to make sure, and going from there.  I do not feel sick, and my lungs feel good as far as breathing goes, so hopefully it is just one of those things.  Thank you for all of the thoughts and prayers!

Vacation Day # 1, Friday:  Woke up at 11:30 am because I stayed up until 3 am the night before watching this awful, horrible, sad movie about this dog whose master dies and the dog keeps waiting at the train station for NINE YEARS for his dead master to come home who never comes home.  It is a true story and there is a statue of the dog where he waited all that time.  OMG, bring on the snot bubbles!  No wonder I love dogs so much - what human has that kind of loyalty??? NONE.  But I digress...I made breakfast burritos, then my mom and I drove up to Cath's, went to dinner, then to a Christmas church thing which was really good and I cried some more.  I'm so freakin' sappy.  In the middle of the day just before church, I got two panicked calls from two different coworkers in NJ.  I helped them through a crisis and appreciated all the really funny banter that we shared about having no life and working all the time.  I've been promised See's candy and cash transfers to my Paypal account for saving their butts and helping during my vacation.  LOL!  I told them just to forward nice emails to my boss and also Santa.  I worked on their problem once I got home and finished at about 2:30 am.

Today I'm probably going to make some homemade hot buttered rum batter, bake some cookies, then maybe go over to Downtown Disney with the ma and have coffee and shop and look at all the pretty Christmas decorations.

OK I'm hungry, I gotta go...

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

At least it is a pretty Christmasy Red...

So yeah, I'm coughing up blood.  Neat.  Here's a little piece of advice, don't look up symptoms you have on the internet - they tend to go to the extreme.  Am I scared?  Not really.  It's probably something dumb like a broken capillary - but if it's not, well, then it's not.  I'll deal.  It's probably something I've brought upon myself.  I have a wonderful little 11-day vacation starting Friday, and what I DON'T WANT is to spend all of it at the doctor.  This kind of thing needs to happen when I don't have time-off already scheduled.  Bah!  It tastes icky.  I'd make a horrible vampire.

Monday, December 19, 2011

An answered prayer, and I didn't even know it!

A little while ago, October 17th to be exact, I wrote the following prayer down.  I even briefly posted it on here, but then took it off.  Can't remember why.  I highlighted the last part, and if you read the post below this one that I wrote late last night (early morning), you will see that my prayer was answered about "being OK" with walking my road alone.

Dear God,


I'm sure you probably like it better when we pray, but I am a better writer than I am a pray-er. You know I fall asleep before I finish and my mind wanders around on everything anyway. I'm more focused this way.

First, I want to thank you for all the things you have given me and all the prayers you have already answered. I am safe and warm, my bills are paid, I have a great job and for the first time in my life I have a savings account and money left over each month. I live in a beautiful house with a pool, you have averted me from cancer and I have family and friends who love me. This is nothing to shake a stick at, I know. There was a time when I had no idea how I was going to get gas in my car and I was so stressed out and burnt out I thought I was going to have a stroke. This is a big difference and I don't feel worthy of it, but thank you nonetheless. I'm sorry I haven't taken very good care of the body you have given me. I know the ailments I have are my own fault. I just ask for your help to change all these bad habits of mine.

There are so many people I want to pray for. Not just my loved ones, but for all the people who have touched my life. Stay close to them, even if they don't know you or have forgotten about you. Maybe they will feel you some day, like I do. You know all their names.

OK, here comes the hard part. I have got to be the worst so-called Christian who ever walked the face of the planet. I don't do anything right. NOT ANYTHING. No wonder you had to send Jesus. Here I am with this great life and I'm what? Sad. I have everything, and I am freaking sad. It's stupid, but I don't know what to do about it. You say in the Bible we are supposed to have joy, even in suffering. I'm not good at that. In fact, you could say I royally suck at it. I'm sad in suffering, and I'm sad when everything is fine. I'm SUPER good at doing the opposite of everything you ask of me, however. If you could forgive me, that would be awesome.

I don't know what you had/have planned for me to do, but I'm sure I'm not doing it. I want to change that. I want to do whatever it is I am destined to do for you, no matter how small. You will probably have to keep repeating yourself to me, though, because I don't listen well and I procrastinate. But you know that.

One last thing. It's about my heart. It is broken. Can you fix? Maybe you have me slated to be this independent woman who doesn't need a companion, but if that is true, can you help me like it?

That is all for now. Thanks for listening. I love you. Good night.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Cher

SEE?  It is important to write things down!  Blogs are good!

Do you ever wonder?

Yup, I'm having one of those I-can't-sleep-and-feeling-a-dark-blog-coming-on kind of nights.  I struggle with major depression and anxiety, and sometimes I'm just too tired to fight it.  Although all my different shrinks have told me I'm not crazy or Bi-Polar or anything like that, I do suffer from a form of PTSD, which is ironic if you know anything about my life.

There are certain things that trigger my meltdowns and I've learned just to let it happen.  You can't side-step it, run from it or ignore it.  You have to just accept it, and hold on for the ride.  I'm not alone in this; almost everyone I know deals with "stuff".  Young, old, middle-aged, male, female - doesn't matter.  Life is funny that way, it is no respector of persons.  I am not special or extraordinary or any worse off than anyone else.  And you know what?  There is no passing the buck.  My life is my own, and so is yours.  You can't blame your parents, God, the devil, bad luck, karma, your ex or your genes on how things turned out for you.  Nope, you can't.  You can try, but good luck with that.

Yes, some things happen that are out of your control - but how you deal with it is up to you.  I am constantly trying to change my thinking and just surrender myself over to God, but it is HARD. Think about it though, how else do you develop character if you don't have to wade through the shit pond every once in awhile?  I will admit, sometimes I wonder what the hell I am doing here.  On Earth, I mean.  I often want to die because I can't think of any reason to stay.  But then I snap out of it and go have a cookie.  In therapy, they always have to ask you if you are "suicidal" for obvious reasons.  I always say this:  "Yes, sometimes, but I don't think death is going to be any easier than life so I realize there isn't any point."  That always gets an interesting reaction.  LOL.

I actually do think there is SOME reason I am still alive and kicking - why God hasn't given me the pink slip just yet.  Hell if I know what it is, but yeah.

Here is the weird part.  I *am* starting to change.  I used to be this dating machine, excited and exasperated all the time trying to find some great guy.  The last date I was on was August 27th, with John.  I've been asked out several times since then, and even had dates scheduled with different men, but for some reason I stopped emailing back, didn't return phone calls, and cancelled dinners.  It all of a sudden just didn't seem that important anymore.  About a month ago I was looking at my credit card statement and saw all the recurring online dating site charges.  It was a lot of money.  I cancelled them all that day.  I am still a member of one - a free one, but I only check it if I get an email, and 99.9% of the time I do not respond for some reason or another.  John still sends an occassional text wishing me a happy birthday or some such thing, and I still hear from Joe every once in awhile.  Other than that, I'm just...meandering about.  I don't know if there will ever be someone else.  And I'm not really sure I care.  But this is not the source of my depression - never has been.

Wow.  I'm putting myself to sleep, so I'm sure I lost you awhile back.  I'm gonna shut it now and go lie down.  Gotta try and turn it off for a few hours - must work tomorrow.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Making Memories

Cath helping us make the super secret family recipe for Jam Cake.  MMMMMM!
My backordered birthday present - a seriously awesome espresso machine...
More Christmas decorations FA LA LA
I finally got all 3 dogs in 1 picture.  Maggie the Cairn Terrier, Saydee the Pitbull and Molly the Maltese.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Santa Visits a Wee Bit Early

The kids are flying back to Seattle for Christmas, so we did our celebrating with them this weekend.  We had the new traditional Christmas dinner of pizza and spaghetti with meatballs from Biagio's because Crazydogmama's ass is kicked.  Then, we opened the pretty presents and watched a movie.  Grandma and Auntie Cathy pooped out early.  It is getting awfully chilly here for So. Cal. and it is actually feeling a bit "Christmasy" this year.  The pool is 53 degrees and the poor pool heater just looked at me and said 'I don't think so'.





Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Red Bull Tastes Like Feet

Bleck!  That stuff is NASTY!  I am so sleepy today that I fell asleep in my car at lunch.  We have Red Bull in our vending machines for 25 cents, so I thought what the hell.  I want my 25 cents back.  I am going to hurl.

Monday, December 05, 2011

My Demon has the Flu

OK.  I keep a Kleenex box on my night stand on my left side.  It is always there, I never move it.  Maggie cannot reach it.  A few nights ago, as I was finally starting to drift off to sleep, I hear an awkward and slight "thud/crunch".  I thought it was probably my cell phone falling off the bed (yes, I sleep with it, shut up), as it often does, but I felt around my pillow for it, and there it was, untouched.  Curious, I got up and switched on my lamp.  The Kleenex box was on the RIGHT side of the bed on the floor.  It was not there when I got into bed.  I no longer thrash about after getting into bed due to my new awesome memory form mattress, there is nothing to set it onto on the right side, and there is no way for it to get over to the right side without SOMEONE MOVING IT.  I did not move it, Maggie was under the covers, and the fact that I heard it landing on the floor means it got there BY ITSELF.  I even asked my mother if she had been messing with it and she swore she hadn't touched it.  I'm a little creeped out and thinking maybe I should lighten up on the horror movie watching before I am hurling pea soup onto a priest.

Sunday, December 04, 2011

Christmastime and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

This is the first time I have decorated for Christmas since 2006.  It was done for me in 2007 when my dad passed, I just went through the motions in 2008 and then my life fell apart further as you long time readers know, and I just sort of "skipped over" Christmas as best I could.  Not this year!  I spent all of Saturday decorating, drinking spiked eggnog and listening to Christmas music with my two moms and all the puppies.  Magadog, Molly and Cath's dog Saydee.  Good times. My mom carried on our tradition of getting a new ornament each year, and she got this really pretty Mickey ornament from Disneyland for us.  You would all be proud of me, I LET OTHER PEOPLE HANG ORNAMENTS ON THE TREE.  This was a big step for me, I guess all the therapy has paid off.

Late last night as the wind was kicking up and it was cold out, I curled up with Magadog and my new book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo".  Everyone I know has raved about it, so with the movie coming out on the 21st, I thought I would get it read.



Friday, December 02, 2011

Eggnog Lattes and Chocolate Whoopie Pies

These will be the end of me.  Any and all healthy living progress has been squashed into oblivion for the moment.  I blame Starbucks.



Monday, November 28, 2011

Little Girls + Demons = Successful Horror Flick

The Exorcist:  Regan talks to "Captain Howdy"
Poltergeist: Carol Ann talks to the "TV People"
Paranormal Activity 3: Kristi talks to "Toby"

OK, I loved Paranormal Activity 3 (I love them all), but I really want to know why they didn't include any of the scenes in the trailer in the movie???  I especially like how "Toby" table head-butts the psychic.  Guess I will have to wait for the uncut DVD.  :-/


Why I'm not allowed to have young children around...

Photo (legally) stolen from http://skinnyrunner.com/

Turkey Day - Success!

I was the sole chef for this year's Thanksgiving, and for a record number of people - SEVEN.  Bill (my stepson), Robby (Bill's best friend), Erica (Bill's girlfriend), Mom #1, Mom # 2, Mom # 2's son's girlfriend Lisa and myself. The most I had ever cooked for previously was six, and that was with help.  I did it!  We had crab/artichoke dip with baguette, and salami + cheese + crackers for appetizers (and champagne).  The day before I had to cook the turkey, because we did turkey AND ham cuz Erica hates turkey, and there was no way to cook that much stuff in one small oven in one day.  I also prepped most of the side dishes on Wed. so I wouldn't have a full-on panic attack on Thursday.  I also cleaned and did last minute shopping and hurt my back.  AGAIN.  (Thank God for muscle relaxers and wine.)

Kids drove down Wednesday night and we all chatted while I chopped.  Thursday was a fun-filled day of food, drink and laughter.  Our new tradition for "Black Friday" is Disneyland - starting last year and continuing this year, however I completely pooped out at 4 pm and went home and took a nap, then went back at 9 to pick up the kids.  I'm old!  But instead of going home, they made me go see Paranormal Activity 3 again because it was essential we see it together.  OK. Fine.

Saturday the kids helped me put up the Christmas Tree and then I kicked them out so I could sleep for the next 30 hours.  Which I did.

Heaven on a spoon.  Perfect on Thanksgiving for those who don't like pie.  Like me.

The kids

Where's the turkey you promised me?  Hello?!

My eyes were bigger than my stomach.  Which gives me pretty freakin' big eyes.

To Mom # 1:  I cook, you clean...


Friday, November 18, 2011

Yes, I am FINALLY posting!

Best Birthday EVER!  My very best friend on the planet (Jenny) from Seattle, flew down last Friday night.  My two moms and I picked her up at Long Beach airport and since it was almost 10 pm, we decided we needed pie and coffee to keep us awake!  After we got home, the appletini's put us to sleep.

Saturday, on my actual b-day, we spent a few hours down at Laguna beach goofing off, eating and buying a bunch of stuff we didn't need.  Funny story. We had decided to get a coffee and share a chocolate croissant, then walked over to some benches that overlooked the ocean. A bunch of birds flew down around us and I (stupidly) picked a small piece of my croissant off and fed a pigeon. Then, suddenly, a HUGE seagull swooped down and grabbed MY ENTIRE HALF CROISSANT RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND. I was all WTF just happened???? Jenny was rolling.


That night we went to BJ's Brewery for dinner (I had a Maui glazed pork chop) and went back the house for ice cream cake and lemon drop martini's.  What?  They totally go together!


Sunday it was Disneyland time.  We went from 40 y.o. to 4.  OMG, so much fun.  Lasted almost 12 hours.  We got soaked on Splash Mt. and the Grizzly River Run.  Jenny got it the worst.





Monday we slept in, I made eggs benedict (of course) which we ate outside on the patio and just hung out.  I had to take her to the airport at noon, so the rest of the day sucked after that and now we are all pouty.

The end.

Absolutely nuts at work.  I want Jenny back.