When someone drives you batshit crazy, does it mean you're in love?

Or should you run like hell?

Holy crap on a cracker. He takes about 8 hours to answer a text. Literally. Sometimes I won't hear from him for like, 2 weeks, and then he seems confused that I am irked. He has a smile that makes me forget my name. He can talk about a subject for 45 minutes non-stop (just him talking) and then, without warning, change the subject to something completely irrelevant and random. For example: Last night we were driving, and he was telling me about his take on the presidential candidates. It was intense, then all of a sudden, we pass a street called "Kitts" and he says, "How do streets get named, anyway?  Who came up with Kitts? Is that someone's name? I want to name a street. How do I do that?" He looks over at me inquisitively, like I have the answer to this. I just blink at him and say, "What?" He is completely serious and waits for me to answer him.  He does this all the time.

Then there is the whole I'm usually right yet he never listens thing.

Phone call:
John: I'm leaving now.
Me:  OK, meet you in about 45 minutes.
John: No, it should only be about 30 minutes.
Me: Oh? Usually, it takes you 45 minutes or so.
John: Not this time of night.
Me: K. (rolling my eyes)

47 minutes later he arrives.

Driving and lost:
John: Uh, I think I did that wrong.
Me: Uh, yep.
John: Isn't 2nd street up to the left?
Me: No, I think you make a right up here, then a left.
John: No, I think it's left first.
Me: I don't think so, the ocean is over there, so it has to be right to get back out on the main highway.
He makes a left.
John: Crap!
Me: (giggling) I told you.
John: Yes, OK, you were right. You are right about lots of things.
Me: Yes, I know. You hate that don't you?
John: No. Yes.

But then at the end of the night (well, usually around 4 am or so) we will be sitting in his car, and he will lay his head on my chest and hold on to me like a lost little boy while I run my fingernails through his hair, and everything that seemed wrong in the world will suddenly seem right and I will feel more peaceful then I've ever felt in my life.

What am I going to DO with him?

We are both emotionally unavailable, yet I think he needs me as much as I need him. We are both commitment-phobes at this point in our lives, yet we keep seeing other. 5 months now? He will completely tick me off, but I will keep it to myself, then he will ironically and spontaneously say something so incredibly sweet it almost doesn't seem real and I have to stop being mad at him. His kisses are so sweet and good it almost pisses me off.

What the hell?

Overwhelmed

I've been feeling a little bit overwhelmed lately. Work is busier than it has ever been, and with the looming layoffs everyone is stressed to the hilt. If I stay, but lose one of my guys, it will be back to 60-to-70-hour weeks for me, and I just don't know how much longer I can run at this pace. I'm tired. I really want a personal life, but I don't see how that will be possible. Yeah, they pay me a lot of money, but is it worth it?  As it is right now, my laundry is piling up, my bathroom needs to be cleaned, my car needs to be washed, I need an oil and lube, I need to return some items to a store, blah, blah, blah. Just thinking about all of it makes me want to take a nap. My back and shoulders hurt from the muscle tension and I'm getting a headache. I hardly ever get to see John which sucks. His long-time business (mortgage broker) is as you can imagine, not doing well in this economy and he is all kinds of stressed out too. Plus, he lives all the way up in LA. Bah! But we are going out tomorrow night and I just want to lay in his arms and forget all this crap.

Where there is a will.

So, I have this Disneyland annual pass, but no one I know has one, and it is quite difficult to get people to spend 100+ bucks a trip more than once or twice a year. SOOOO, someone turned me on to "meetup.com". Fabulous! I just joined two groups for annual passholders; people just like me who want to make friends with other passholders and spend more time at the parks! I go on my first meetup on Monday. I got the day off from work!

FIZGIG!!

So, I was channel surfing last night and ran across the movie "The Dark Crystal". It is kind of a disturbing Muppet movie that is so weird it is AWESOME. My favorite character is Fizgig, the little dog-like pet or something. He ROLLS, that's how he gets around. He is a big fuzzy ball that rolls and growls and throws tantrums. When I throw a fit, thit is exactly what I look like. I have two forms of expression, completely intense, and completely silly. Just so you know.

Lasciare Andare!

Translation: "Let Go" or "Allow to go". These are my "words". In Italian. Because I love everything Italian. So, I watched the movie "Eat, Pray, Love" and despite the bad reviews, I enjoyed it. There was this thing in the movie where everyone needs to choose their "word" or "words" and I thought it was profound, so I thought about and chose mine. In order to be free, you need to "let go" or allow all the things paralyzing you in the present go by the wayside. It is an ongoing practice for me, so Lasciare Andare!

Speaking of Italian, if I get to keep my job (and even if I don't), I have begun to save for a trip to Italy. This time next year, if life allows, I will be blissfully partaking of an experience I have wanted all my life.

Weirdness

I got into my car this morning to drive to work. (Yes I still have a job.) I rolled the window down partly. A spider crawled in and onto my hand. I looked down and saw the spider and just stared at it walking around on my skin. I did not let out a blood curdling scream, I did not smash my hand into the dashboard or fly out of the car jumping up and down, all things that would normally occur given the circumstance. I did NOTHING. No fear, no reaction, nothing.

HOLY GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT IS HAPPENING???

I have arachnophobia. Bad. Usually. I have hurt myself on a number of occasions trying to get away from spiders that are smaller than lady bugs. What happened today totally, completely and utterly shocks me. It cannot be explained. Something is going on with me.

Monkeys Say, Monkey Do

They are doing big layoffs at my company, so we are hiring our own replacements.

Regret

I would rather regret the things I've done than the things I haven't done.

Dating is Weird

 O.M.G., I found this blog today LOVE IT! http://datingisweird.blogspot.com/

One particular post sent me into hysterics, especially this post:

Dating Is Weird: An Open Letter to the Love/Hate Boyfriend

Horse Racing and Other Random Things

So, I went to Los Alamitos Racetrack last Saturday night, and it was really super fun! The horses are so beautiful, and I kept winning!  Woo! Then I lost.  LOL. Also, I BBQ'd carne asada, took a pic of Mags doing her platypus stance, and had my nails done black and tan. How is that for random? I know my last post was rather cryptic, I didn't mean it to be. I received a letter that was written in a way that really made me really think about some things in my life. In particular, it made me reflect on my recent status with John. Although I really like him, I may be letting him get away with behavior I shouldn't.

Am I Crazy?

I'm not so sure about this recent boyfriend thing. It's not fear, it's something else. I read something tonight from someone I can't disclose that made me really stop and think. It was the most incredibly written letter, written in a way I cannot even describe. It was beautiful but so different. Intelligent yet hilarious. It ignited something in me that I thought was burnt out forever. Hmmm. Crazy. I wish I could share, you would see what I was talking about.

What's on your bucket list?

I have had a "bucket list" since I was about 15, way before the movie came out. Over the past couple of years, I have been able to cross a few things off like "Go to NY", "Own a pool", "Reach a [specific] salary goal", etc. Whenever I cross something off, I add something new. Today I added "Go to Italy", "Fly a helicopter" and "Drive a race car". The pic is me jumping out of an airplane (hanging from the strut) which was the very first item I got to cross off my list way back when. Tell me something on your bucket list, and if you don't have one, make one now!

Life in Cali is Rough

Moving here to start my life over was the best decision I have EVER made. Things are going so well in every area of my life that it is starting to make me nervous!

So, Johnny said he is going to take me to Vegas. My second mom is actually there right now visiting her son and she has been telling me about her adventures on the New York New York rollercoaster, kayaking, zip-lining, etc. It sounds so fun! It was funny when I had the "Where have you been around here?" conversation with John.

John: "You've NEVER been to Vegas?!?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "OMG"
John: "Palm Springs?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Santa Barbara?"
Me: "Nope."
John: "Please tell me you've been to San Diego."
Me: "Not since I was a little girl."
John: (with his hands on his head) "Holy crap, woman! We have some traveling to do here!"
Me: "Yes we do!"

Cheers!

The Captain

I splurged and bought a box (OK, two boxes) of the best cereal that ever existed. Captain Crunch! I loved it as a kid, and I still love it! No other cereal even comes close to being as awesome as Captain Crunch. Even the name is awesome. Crunch Berries! And you know what? It isn't as many calories or as high in sugar as I thought it was! Justification! Wheee! I remember my mouth hurting after eating so much of it as a kid. I'm much tougher now. I also just discovered the best restaurant. Oh. My. God. I had the Filet Oscar and it literally melted in my mouth. It was a culinary orgasm. It has been a really good week.

Off the Market?

John kept me out until 3 am. On a work night. I kept telling him, "I gotta go, I gotta go!" and he kept saying "10 more minutes". Yeah, he is hard to resist. The status of our relationship was confirmed last night when I asked him to "define" what he meant by saying I was "his girl". He declared that it meant he had no desire to see or be with anyone else but me, and that he would be a "fucking idiot" to let me get away. That statement coupled with his earlier statement of how I am "such a good woman" and he did not believe a good woman existed in Los Angeles, and, well, how do you say no to that? And he is such a good kisser. LOL! So yeah, he wins. He is totally cool with my guy friends; in fact he said, "Be friends with who you want, flirt with who you want, I just want to be the guy you're with at the end of the night."

So, there you go, I'm taken. Off the market.

I'm on my 6th cup of coffee. It's not working.

A Mom Story

A mom story for you. So it wasn't until my father passed away in late 2007 that my mother was willing to get a cell phone like a normal person. It took her awhile to warm up to it, but I can even get her to text occasionally now. I still can't get her to buy a smart phone with a qwerty keyboard or internet access, but at least she's workin' what she's got. What is funny is that she used to make fun of me who won't even go to the bathroom without my phone, and now SHE is THAT attached to hers! Last night I am watching TV and she comes downstairs from being on the computer. She walks into the kitchen, and I hear her start to giggle. I look up to investigate and she is holding my wireless mouse in her hand. She thought it was her phone.

Not much else going on except I'm hanging out with John tonight. He just texted me saying "See you tonight Honey". Honey. We've been seeing each other for a while now, but I'm still not used to that. I'm a walking issue.

Crazydogmama's Favorites

I’m always getting asked about my favorite this and my favorite that, so without further ado, here is a random list of all my recent fav’s! I am picky about everything, but when I find something I like, look out!

FOOD AND BEVERAGE

Crow’s Cocktails – Long Beach, CA
John introduced me to this dive bar on our second date. We LOVE it and usually at least stop by every time we go out! The perfect mix of interesting people, the music is not too soft/not too loud, the bartenders are VERY entertaining and attentive, they pour good drinks, and if you need a cigarette, you go just outside the front door and you will meet some real characters. If you can get a seat at the bar, you will be in people-watching heaven; as this place is standing room only by 10 pm. John and I like to try and guess what’s going on with the people we see, like, “WOW, desperate housewife” or “He is going to break up with her tonight, look at their body language!” Also, it's a great place to make out.

Tantalum – Long Beach, CA
This place is AMAZING. The décor, atmosphere, view, food, everything! I was so impressed. Best calamari I’ve ever tasted, and OMG, they have a “Meat Lover's Bloody Mary" which is a combo of tomato nectar, beef jus, Absolut Peppar, beef jerky, bacon & blue cheese olives”. My coworkers introduced me to this one.

5 Guys Burgers and Fries – Huntington Beach, CA
YUMMY! Cajun Fries! Raw Jalapeños! James took me here on Saturday, then I told my mother about it and we went on Sunday. Not good for the diet, but good for the soul!!

STUFF

Brighton Collectibles – Irvine, CA
Some really cool and unique accessories! (Jewelry, purses, wallets, etc.) Pricey, but good stuff. I want the heart necklace and the silver ballet flats!

Smashbox Cosmetics – Online or Sephora
I have tried every type of makeup you can think of, and Smashbox ROCKS all of them! My favs include: Full Exposure Mascara, Halo Hydrating Perfecting Powder, Limitless Eyeliner and the Nude Lip Pencil.

Bliss Hand Cream - Sephora
It smells good and it works! ‘Nuff said!

Jessica Simpson Shoes – Online or at DSW
Don’t cringe. These are some seriously cute and comfy shoes!

ACTIVITIES

LA Boxing – Lake Forest, CA
Great people, great workout, great fun! For those of us who would rather stick bamboo up our fingernails than walk on treadmill.

Lobster

Not the kind you eat! I spent all day at Huntington Beach yesterday with my friend James and holy hell, my face and chest are blistered, and there is a small section of my tummy that is beat red. I look completely retarded. The pain! I don't want to take a picture of myself because I'm afraid the flash will hurt! It's also very itchy. Stupidity.

The Bowlers

I took the kids bowling. Bill bought an old bowling pin, and we all signed it to commemorate the day. Good times. Erica and I went to get a mani/pedi for girl-bonding time. :-) Surviving 3 kids (young adults) for a long weekend is like surviving the apocalypse. LOL.

Hangin' out by the pool.

So far, the weekend has been great fun! Perfect weather, good food and relaxation. The kids had fun goofing off in the pool, my friend James came and hung out, and my two moms told me that if I put their picture on the internet, it would be "my last conscious act". LOL!