Bistro M.D.

It is going well, the food is quite tasty and the weight is falling off, but OMG I WANT A FREAKING COOKIE.

You may fall over when you read this.

I went to church today. A new friend of mine invited me to go with her and her husband to a local community church. Now, for those of you that know me, you know I love the Lord but am not all that thrilled about organized religion. That is still true to some degree, but if the people are real and the place isn't a stadium, I'm willing to give it a chance. And NO, I did not spontaneously combust when I walked through the doors. LOL I am not exactly a shining example of what a "typical" mainstream Christian woman is, I guess. I cuss, I drink occasionally, I watch horror movies, I don't have the whole little cozy family thing going on and I am little sarcastic. Now, I don't expect to be joining the choir or leading Bible study next week, but it was nice. I believe it is what is in your heart that makes your faith what it is, and there is no room for judging others or trying to be someone you are not.

I suppose you could say I have hit a sort of "rock bottom" in my life over the last few years. Things aren't that bad, but they could certainly be a whole lot better. I'm working on that. I thank God for what I have, and ask for help and wisdom when I need it. It isn't God's fault for anything that has happened in my life. It is just life. We make choices, but all in all I believe in a personal relationship with my maker and do not consider Him my personal genie in a bottle.

I felt a little out of place today, but once I got settled, I talked to God. I said, "Where do I go from here? What is the plan?" (I don't like to mince words.) After that I sat in silence, listening to the message. I felt physically alone, but I knew God was right there keeping me together. I could feel it. I feel Him sometimes when I am home or driving. He told me that He knows all about me and what I am going through. He said he has never once left me. I asked Him to let me know that it wasn't my own voice telling me those things. The words, "Trust me." just kept coming to mind. That was it. When I opened my Bible, there were familiar scribblings among the pages. They reminded me of a different time. The pastor was teaching from 1 Corinthians. A good chapter for me right now.

I pretty much ran out as soon as the service was over and didn't talk to anyone because I'm not used to church and haven't been in one for many years. Silly, huh?

I came home and my neighbor and I have been trying to figure out my water problem. I'm going to have to get on my knees about this one I think. UG.

The Cuteness of Sleeping

Why are sleeping dogs so damn cute?

Anything is possible.

Someone said that to me today. I really want to believe them.

Neurotic with a side of OCD.

Today? Organizing our snacks and listening to QUEEN on XM radio. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS NO TIME FOR LOSERS. Does this photo prove I am neurotic with a side of OCD?

Play-Doh Fun

My team has been couped up in a conference room all day every day this week and my boss brought in Play-Doh today. This was the result.

It is amazing what a little colored dough can do for your spirits. We all acted like 5-year-olds, but what did she expect? I think she knew what she was doing. I was a little disappointed in my molding skills, but I tried. I don't even know what that is, a little devil thing? A dog with skinny ears? A gremlin? Lame.

Cold showers in the winter.

Well, Fuck. The heat is fixed and now I don't have hot water. Cold showers in the winter are just neat. Also, for extra fun, not only did the wind knock me in the head, but it knocked my fence over. THEN, the rear panel of my car got smashed. I don't have enough money to fix everything. I want to take a baseball bat to the entire house right now.

I lost it today and acted like an idiot on several levels. Additionally neat. Things just keep getting better and better and its only Wednesday. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be diagnosed with a fatal disease.

Now you know why I haven't posted in a few days. No, I'm not alright, and yes my brain was knocked loose and is apparently malfunctioning.

My brain was knocked loose.

We are having a wind/rainstorm tonight and I was out in it loading up the car. (Important week at work next week and need to be close by.) As I was loading with the door popped up, a big gust of wind came up and slammed the big door down on my head. Knocked me to the ground. OUCH. Needless to say, I have a headache and I also hurt my back. I also feel spacey. Awesome.

Facebook Retro Pics

I guess the latest thing on FB is to post retro pics of yourself. I have lots of those on the CDM Bloggery here, but my oldest and dearest friend Mick had this one that I've never seen before! Too funny. The brunette is my friend Laurie from Highschool. Wonder what ever happened to her. My hair is always the focal point of all old photos. Sigh.

Saturday night, baby!

I am having one of my loser nights where I am by myself holed up in the house. It isn't that bad actually, I could go out if I wanted, would just have to make some phone calls, but I chose isolation and the internet. I can just be myself right here. I can chat with online friends and blog and create chaos where chaos is needed.

I have some music playing, the dogs are sacked out and here I type. I'm a little bit hungry since I haven't eaten since this morning. My mom took me out for breakfast, so sweet! My "food" arrives on Wednesday, so I'm enjoying the last of my crap food.

I caught wind that my ex might be getting remarried. I started thinking if I ever would. I'm open to it, but it would of course have to be the right guy. And what the hell is THAT, the right guy? I am obviously incompetent in this area. He would have to be really nice to me and love me for me for starters. Is that too much to ask? Oh, and the obvious things like, no alcoholics or druggies, have a job, no anger issues, blah, blah, blah. I'm not worried about it right now; I have a full plate. I'm going to hold out for what I *really* want. I'll bide my time on that and just work on me for now. There was this guy once that seemed to fit the bill who made me swoon, but that's another story.

Anyway, here are some silly pics. I finally got my "True Blood" calendar. Me likes. I know, I'm a freak.

A Sign From God

Since I have been skipping the morning mochas and having protein shakes instead, things have been a little, well, off. It began today when I was logging on to my laptop at work. Part of my passcode has my name in it (Cheryl), and when I went to type it in, I somehow managed to type in 'coffee' instead. I shit you not. It was a sign from God! LOL!  I think I gotta back off the caffeine a little slower.

Things that make me happy.

These types of things make me happy. I can't help it.

Excerpts from shitmydadsays.com:

"You need to flush the toilet more than once, No, YOU, YOU specifically need to. You know what, use a different toilet. This is my toilet."

(Left on answering machine) "Hello? Hello? It's Sam. Anyone there? Nobody checks this goddamned thing. HELLO? HELLO? Screw it."

"Tennessee is nice. The first time I vomited was in Tennessee, I think."

Dreaming

I'm dreaming of someone. In particular. It is a good dream.

Don't read this if you have have a virgin sense of humor.

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

People were asking me why I was laughing so hard at work. This is why. OH. MY. GOD.

I just had an epiphany.

I just realized why I write in this stupid blog. It makes me feel better. I have been in a funk today and after I wrote the last entry, I felt better. I couldn't figure out why at first, but I realize now that writing here helps me work out the jumbled mess in my head. It even makes me feel better when I'm already feeling good. I have half of a fiction book written, but fiction doesn't make me feel better, blogging does. Real life. Real problems. Real thoughts. Of course I can't write everything publicly, so I keep a private journal too, but I understand now. Some people meditate, some people run, others make music. I blog. I'm not the best blogger, I'm not even a good blogger, but I do it because I need to.

I have something I really want to say. But not now. It probably isn't what you are thinking. One of these days, though, I will. You can bet on it.

Goals

I have decided to redirect things in my life a bit. I've been entirely too focused on stupid stuff lately and need to get my act together. Body, Soul, and Spirit.

Goal number one is to get healthier. I have been using the "Healthy to Go" products in my water instead of getting iced mochas every day. These are packets filled with organic fruits and veges; each equals 6 servings. I don't take vitamins, and the mochas are making my blood sugar too high, so I tried this instead. Got it at Costco. Thank the Lord God in Heaven for Costco! I live there. I have also decided to try Bistro MD 5 days a week to lose weight and balance out my nutrition. It is pricey, but with my life right now it is impossible to work long hours, keep the house clean, take care of the dogs, do the errands AND cook and worry about my nutrition. I just simply don't have time to think about it or prepare for it. So, my first week comes next Wednesday. The food looks really good, it's supposed to be gourmet. They provide the food on "The Biggest Loser", so it can't be THAT bad. I am only doing 5 days a week so that I have room to go out for dinner, etc. NO MORE FROZEN BURRITOS. Or pizza. Or McDonalds. Well, once in a while. Workouts are going to get more intense too, I've been lazy. I anticipate having more energy, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Second, I need to figure out if I am staying in the house or moving somewhere else. I keep going back and forth. I don't know how I will figure this out, but my goal is to do just that, make a damn decision. I'm not going to rush into a decision, however.

Third, I need a third goal. It will probably be work-related. Gotta think about this one some more.

So, there it is. I am underway with goal one. Progress. The last year has been tough, but hopefully all the crap is behind me. I've gone through enough emotion to kill anyone, but here I am! Alive and (sort of) well! Life is so strange. It hasn't turned out at all like I thought it would. Does it ever? I guess if it did, that would be awfully boring.

GONG!

Remember the Gong Show? Yeah, he gets the GONG. Next, please! The dating thing is going to be rough, I can tell. I may lay low, I am just too old and tired for stupid games. Perhaps I will spend my energy elsewhere for now.

Holy CRAP!

I may have met someone online, he may be calling me tomorrow, and I may be freaking out! This guy is NOT messing around! I'm safe for the moment, he doesn't live in this state, but he isn't that far away.

I've had butterflies in my tummy all day, I'm all flustered and fidgety and my mom is making fun of me.

He is very kind and handsome, and he seems to like me despite the fact that I am a freak. You never know about the online thing, but oh well, gotta take risks sometimes.

He has a Harley and wants to know if I want to ride in his CAMARO. Um, YES PLEASE! ;-)

Hedgehog and Chicken Man

Mr. Hedgehog (Hedge) tragically died last night from severe internal injuries. The perpetrator is a beast called "Maggie". RIP little fellow.

I was getting coffee the other day from my favorite little coffee stand and witnessed quite the show. Behind the stand is a little pharmacy owned by an old guy who apparently does not enjoy chickens soliciting his business. He was flailing about, yelling and swatting the chickens with a rolled-up newspaper. The chickens were running but were not cooperating and kept going back up on his porch. Poor guy was so flustered! I, of course, was rolling in laugher taking cell phone pics.

Long day.

I'm pooped so I will post in the morning.