Don't worry everybody.

I'm not going to date anyone with a girlfriend or a wife! But if he broke up with his girlfriend and asked me out some time later, I MIGHT consider it. I have a strict set of criteria now and I am not settling for anything less! Not to mention there would be a lot of getting to know someone first. I am not a ho!

Java Monster!

I tried this energy drink today called Java Monster "Loca Moca". Pretty good, but now I'm bouncing off the walls! I gotta do something, go somewhere.

OK, question. There is this guy at work. He is handsome, sweet and successful. He is not married, but I think he has a girlfriend. He works in a different building than me, but I'm always running into him. Several times now at company meetings and functions, I catch him staring at me, then when I catch his gaze, he very quickly turns his head away very deliberately, very noticeable. In fact, if it wasn't so dramatic, I would think nothing of it, but it keeps happening. He also seems nervous around me. Does this mean anything? I have no clue, but it seems odd.

The more that is thrown at me, the stronger I get.

I am choosing my own path for once. I choose not to be angry. I choose not to be sad. I choose not to be bitter. I choose life. I choose happiness. I choose faith. I choose love. It is a lonely path sometimes, but it is a good path.

I used to sit on a fence. I was pushed off, but I choose to never climb back up. I have kicked my fence over forever. I am moving forward; pushing through.

Something happened the other day and my first reaction was anger. I chose to stop it. I am not afraid anymore. I know that whatever happens, I will be fine.

I know what I want and I won't stop until I find it. And no one will stop me, either. My eyes are open. WIDE open. I won't make the same mistakes.

Some time ago I was given a second chance. I didn't see it at first, but I see it now. A new life. A better life. A chance to be who I am supposed to be.

I still need prayer, I still have challenges to deal with, but don't worry about me. Everything will turn out just the way it is supposed to. Signed, sealed and delivered.

Need prayer in a big way.

Can't say why on the blog. It is serious.

Trouble

Guess who is going out tonight? I'll try to stay out of trouble. HAHAHA.

Ginger Soy Flank Steak Recipe

I will make this soon and take pics.

- 1 1/2-2 lbs. flank steak
- 1 Tbsp. minced garlic, (about 6 cloves)
- 1 Tbsp. fresh minced ginger (from one small chunk)
- 3 scallions, (use the white and green parts) finely sliced
- 2 Tbsp. peanut oil
- 3 Tbsp. reduced-sodium soy sauce
- 2 tsp. rice vinegar

Put the flank steak in a flat dish with sides just large enough to hold it in one layer.

In a small bowl, whisk together the remaining ingredients and pour them over the steak. Flip the steak a few times to coat it with the sauce. Refrigerate it for at least 30 minutes and up to 24 hours.

Preheat the grill to medium-high or preheat the broiler.

Transfer the steak to the grill or a broiler pan, reserving any remaining sauce. Grill or broil the meat for 4-6 minutes per side until it is browned on the outside and only slightly pink in the middle.

In a small saucepan, bring any remaining marinade to a low boil for 2 minutes, and transfer it to a serving bowl.

Slice the meat on the diagonal (try to go against the grain of the steak so it won't be tough) and serve it immediately with the sauce on the side or refrigerate it for up to 3 days before serving.

Flavor Booster: Add ¼ tsp. Asian chili sauce or crushed red pepper flakes to the marinade.

Mad World

I walked down to a park in Seattle and sat on a bench. It was raining and grey out. I had my iPod on playing "Mad World". I watched as people walked by but could only hear the sounds of the song. I wish I had my camera. The faces, oh the faces on people went perfectly with the song. It is a sad song, a dark song, a beautiful song. I am going to buy the sheet music and learn it on the piano.

Read the words carefully. Tell me how it makes you feel.

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow
No tommorow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World
Mad Word

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

I have a problem. I don't know what to do about it. Sitting, pondering, listening. It helps.

Well smack my ass and call me Sally! I got a comment!

AND a new follower! SEE? Begging works. Actually, I got TWO comments, thanks to Lea too. Lea, I will definitely post some food pics and recipes, but I need to actually COOK something first. Since I've been a single for a while now it is just no fun to cook for one. I don't like leftovers. Y'all gotta come over so I have a reason to get greasy in the kitchen! I did some cooking over the holidays for my mom and some friends, but other than that I've been living on frozen burritos. UG. I might make some real Mexican food tonight, but I'm not thinking it will be photo worthy. I do have a recipe I will share for some Mongolian Flank Steak that I might make this weekend. I guess I will just continue to write about my ever-changing life, I'm getting less and less "private" if you haven't noticed. Nothing too exciting right now, though. I guess the most interesting thing I've got at the moment is that I'm going to get my tattoo changed. I'm not thinking going through life with "Jim" written on my ankle is going to do me any good. Not looking forward to THAT pain! The stupid shit you do when you're young. Sigh.

OK, what is it gonna take? You people are stubborn.

I know you are out there. I ask questions and, nothing. YOU SUCK! I have to beg and plead and threaten to shut down the blog to get you to post a damn comment. I should take all my archives and put them on Facebook where people actually interact! But then most of you wouldn't be able to get in. I leave comments everywhere, or at least try to. Yes, I write partly for me, but come ON. Am I that frigging boring? Don't answer that.

Maybe I should go controversial. Lude pics? (um..no) WHAT, then? Maybe you are all keyboard challenged. About a year ago I had a statistic thingee that told me over 80,000 people had been to this blog over the last 5 years. That is 16K a year, 1333 a month, and approximately 45 people a day. Now, I'm definitely not a power blogger with those stats, but you would think someone would have something to say. Maybe I scared everyone away. That wouldn't shock me.

Are you shy? I don't bite. Well, I don't bite hard anyway. ;-)

What do you want to read? Do you want to know what is going on in my head? Probably not. Pictures? Of what? Should I cause a ruckus? I want to change things up a bit, but have no idea what to do. HELP!

I'm gonna get out there and stir up some trouble on other blogs.

Holidays are over, vacation is over.

Time to get back to reality. Actually, vacation is always nice, but I need some routine back. Today has been weird. I've been online most of the day, except for my FOUR-HOUR nap. (Now I will be up all night.) I did my budget for January, paid some bills, did some chatting on Facebook (I'm such a flirt!), organized some of my digital pics floating around on the computer and read some of my favorite bloggers. The dogs were curled up at my feet for most of it, the little cutie pies! I did a load of laundry and got the dishes done, but that was about it. I'm tired of cleaning, let me tell you! I did get a lot done over vacation; the house is actually starting to look decent. I am going to order some new office furniture tomorrow and start the redecorating in that room! My mom and I have had such fun shopping and discussing the redecoration plans. She is so great. I'm lucky to have such a cool mom.

I also have great friends! Had two girlie friends over Saturday night and it was so good to see them! I am told I am going to a casino with them next Saturday night, that should be a hoot! CrazyDogMama at the slots, look out! LOL.

I think I'll go watch some TV now, see if I get sleepy. Off to work in the morning.

Serendipity

SERENDIPITY: "The effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something fortunate, especially while looking for something unrelated."

This word popped into my head today. Don't know why. Some people think of serendipity as "fate" or "destiny", but I like the definition above. Accidentally stumbling upon something fortunate. I love that. It isn't corny or unrealistic, but a concept that you can get your mind around. Have you ever experienced it?

What are your thoughts?

Blog Goals

OK peeps, what do want out of the blog this year? Come on, let's hear it! Click on that little comment button, do it, I know you can. That means YOU. I need some blog goals this year!

Happy 2010 everyone!

I'm sitting here having a cup of coffee so I can stay awake for the countdown. I won't be kissing anyone at midnight, a tradition I've always had. Guess I'll kiss Lou-dog. LOL.

This is going to be my year. It HAS to be, damnit! It is due time.

Highlights of 2009: Got a kickass job, I got to go to NY/NJ and went to California for a week in June. I had an overabundant Christmas thanks to my awesome mom and had a good friend (my second mom) visit for a week. I also got in touch with an old friend that I previously wasn't able to get in touch with and it has been nice.

Let's not talk about the crap part of the year.

What is in store for 2010? God only knows, but I'm trying to be optimistic! Cheers!

A Recent Facebook Conversation

I had talked about my divorce and being traded in for a much younger model and Jeffery had the best comment, "These things have a tendency to backfire on people. Which is worth more? A 1965 Ford Mustang, or a 1985 Ford Mustang? When the new car smell wears off, pretty sure Jim will be faced with "What the hell was I thinking?" Sorry it is causing you pain, but I am confident that wonderful things and opportunities are going to open up for you. Just keep hanging in there and know your friends will be there for you."

My sarcastic ass wrote back and asked if I could be a 1967 SS Camaro instead. He said "Sure thing, you can be whatever car you like. I will even pass on the myriad of jokes about who gets to drive. But inquiring minds often get told to shut the hell up." LOL!

Where are you?

Talk to me!

Lady in Red, or Something Like That

Off to a party in my new red cashmere scarf! You know I will blog about it.

Philosophical

Some things in life you wish you could change. Someone said something horrible to me one time, and it hurt because it was true. Also, someone said something wonderful to me one time, and it hurt because it wasn't true. I used to believe in the impossible, now I believe in the inevitable.

Nice Flakes!

Christmas fingernails! LOL.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it was magical for you. The pics are of the "appetizer" dinner my mom and I had on Christmas Eve and the doggies among the Christmas morning debris. My mom spoiled me rotten this year! I can't believe all she has done for me. I kinda feel guilty. Unless something is vastly different in our lives, we have decided next year we are going on a cruise for Christmas! Weeeee!

Dinner Party

Had some friends and family over for dinner tonight. My neighbor, my mom and my stepson. Bill (my stepson) has just turned out to be the sweetest kid, well, MAN now. I can't believe he is turning 18 and moving to Cali to go to college next year. We have stayed close through all of this, and I feel blessed. I've known him since he was 1 1/2 years old. He is meeting his dad's girlfriend tomorrow and I hope it isn't too awkward for him. He is weirded-out by it.

I made a glazed ham, asparagus, garlic mashed potatoes, salad and rolls. The food turned out good, but I have a second degree burn and broke my round baking stone by putting it on a burner that was on. What a dope I am. Made a bit of a spectacle of myself. Oops. At least things are never boring around here! LOL.

I'm exhausted. Going to watch an episode of Roswell (shut up) and hit the sheets. I can't really figure out how I'm feeling. Honestly, I'm a little down, but I'll get over it. I can see now why there are so many suicides this time of year, though. I'm having second thoughts about selling the house right away. I worked my ASS off to get it and keep it, and after looking at some condos in downtown Seattle, I'm worried it would be too hard with the dogs. I might just completely remodel and make it all mine. I don't know. I guess I'll see what happens in my life.

Merry Christmas Eve-Eve!