Bones and Funnel Clouds

What a day. Yesterday it was all nice and warm and everyone was happy. Today, not so much. I woke up with a headache and called work to tell them I would be late. I got there at 10 am. (I start at 6:30 am). I always get headaches when the weather can't make up its mind. It is 20 degrees cooler today than yesterday. Then, there was a thunder and lightning storm with claps of thunder so loud I dove under my desk. The building I work in is mostly glass, so it freaks me out. (You should have seen me in 2001 when we had a 6+ earthquake.) Driving home, my mom calls my cell phone. I can't find my frigging phone. I'm throwing shit all over my car while driving trying to find my phone because I absolutely can't stand not answering a ringing phone, or at least checking the caller ID. She tells me to watch out for lightning bolts and funnel clouds. Apparently, the news said it is wreaking havoc on the freeway drivers. Super, mom. Now I'm worried about the dogs. I decided to stop and get them some bones to chew on in case they are scared. Now my house smells like hooves. Yum.

Puppies and Sunshine

Good morning all, here I sit at my desk eating a chonga bagel and drinking an iced mocha. No low carbs here! OK, so my diet sucks right now. I spent the whole day yesterday CLEANING. I am sorer from that, than from my workout. Getting on my hands and knees and scrubbing just kicks my ass. The dogs are even exhausted from following me back and forth. There's nothing like having little doggie tongues licking your toes when you are scrubbing the bathroom floor. I also gave them both a bath, which is an event in and of itself. I end up wetter than the dogs, and the amount of hair that gets all over the bathroom could make a whole new dog. (Hence the bathroom cleaning.) They are serious pains-in-the-ass. But at least they smell good now!!!! Hey, let's all congratulate Nichole on her new puppy Kipper! May she have all the best puppy breath!

It's going to be 80 degrees here today, and I'm just not ready. I like sunshine, don't get me wrong, but I have no summer clothes and I am pasty-white. I could blind small children and animals with my whiteness. Guess I better get on that, huh?

Hangin' Around

I really had to think about my last picture post. What in the holy hell was Louie doing? I went into the bedroom and found that he somehow got tangled up in the hanger I use for my "restaurant uniform" that had fallen to the ground. It made more sense at that point because I usually spill oogobs of pasta sauce on myself while working. Louie is a nutjob when it comes to human-food. He will do anything. I have caught him strattling the recliner and the end table trying to get to a candy wrapper. Anyway, I am figuring that he was going for the lick-mama's-uniform routine and somehow managed to get stuck in the hanger. Then, when he couldn't figure out how to get out of it, and all the pasta sauce on my shirt had been consumed, he decided he was still hungry and moseyed on down to his food bowl. It was at that point that I saw him. Luckily, I had my camera sitting out. Do my dogs get into the trash? No. Do my dogs chew on slippers? No. Do my dogs get tangled up in hangers? Yes! Never a dull moment with Cairn terriers.

Really?

Trying to figure out what is going on here.

The Crazy Restaurant Biz

So, last week I was seconds away from being fired for my attitude, and then last night I'm getting begged to stay. The restaurant biz is psycho. I guess the best plan of action is be your confident self, be ethical, and don't take any shit from anyone. At some point they will respect you, usually. My life is one of these "I have no idea what is going to happen from one moment to the next" kind of lives.

Speaking of which, Louie peed on the bed again. That damn dog. Every now and then we have these frigging dominance issues. Its maddening. Ooohh - I gotta go - work is getting busy. I'll be back.

Louie no like swimming.

Tidbits

There is absolutely nothing exciting going on. The best I can do is this: I am looking for a new part-time restaurant job because my new bosses are irritating me. It is not good to irritate CRAZYDOGMAMA. I have been working, then going home and going straight to bed. I keep having these crazy dreams that I can remember in freaky detail. They haunt me all day long. What does THIS mean? Lou and Mags have been pretty lazy the last few days - they aren't exciting either. Well, I guess boring is better than bad, huh? As soon as something remotely interesting happens, I'll let you know.

Gotta Tell Ya

That song "Wicked Game" by Chris Isaak just makes me want to take all my clothes off and dance around my office. That's probably not a good idea, though.

The Future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Well, not really, but it has been unusually warm here in ol' Sultan. Apparently, it was 90 degrees on Easter! Wow! We don't usually get above 70 in April. Took some more pics. Extreme silliness here. I broke out the shades and snapped a shot of the view from my driveway. I don't feel like working today, so I'm playing with my blog. I'm going to get so fired someday.





OK, just SHUT UP about the BAD makeup job on my forehead. Leave me alone.

It's Monday, AGAIN.

Well, after a whirlwind week, Monday is rearing its ugly head at me. Hopefully, with only working two shifts at the restaurant this week, I will be able to relax a bit. I also need to get back to the gym and clean up my eating. We did eggs benedict (surprise!) and mimosas for Easter brunch, thanks Yogagirl for the idea! I cooked a ham on Saturday afternoon with scalloped potatoes, asparagus and this really good Italian bread from Costco. I had French silk chocolate pie and Easter candy afterward. I ate an entire plate of tortellini in a tomato cream sauce Saturday night. Can you say HOLY CRAP? I ate like a hell-cow! (Thanks, Skwigg, for coining that term.) Oh, and let's not forget all the Oreos I ate on Friday, yikes. I am feeling a little bloated this morning, but I do have 3 dozen brightly colored hard-boiled eggs to consume. I figure if I take the yokes out of every other one, I'll be set for healthy snacks for a while.

I made my stepson watch the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake this weekend. (I make everyone watch it.) I know it is not what you would call a good "Easter" movie, but oh well. He liked it, but he did say "Oh, SICK!" a lot. Hee-hee.

The weather was fabulous this weekend, I did a little picture-taking. Here is my cherry tree blooming in my front yard. Can you find the bee?

Recovering

I finally got some sleep last night. It was only 6 hours, but that is 6 hours more than I got the night before. I look like death warmed-over. When my alarm went off this morning, the dogs didn't even move. (If mama doesn't sleep, dogs don't sleep.) When I got up to pee, Louie lifted his head up (with all of his fur mashed on one side of his head, so cute) and looked at me like, "Have fun at work, I'm going back to sleep." and *thud* down went the little fuzzy head. I took a shower and came into the bedroom to get dressed where the dogs were STILL on the bed. At that point I made them get up and go potty.

The restaurant nightmare is still looming, but last night was fairly mellow. I guess I'm just going to wait and see what happens. I'm in no mood to look for another job, and you never know, it might turn out OK. I am probably going to cut my shifts down from four a week, to two a week. It is possible that will make me more gooder.

Oh, gotta go, time to take a Vivarin.

Not doing so good.

Last week sucked. Job security is over with my second job. I am a little stress ball right now because I depend on my second income. Needless to say, I'm not eating well, either. In fact, I'm hardly eating at all. This is NOT good. I'm going to royally screw up my metabolism if I'm not careful.

I called in mentally ill today from my office job. Crazydogmama is having panic attacks. My day job is not secure either, money is tight there and I'm worried about layoffs.

OK, enough of the drama, I'm putting up some puppy pictures of Louie just for fun. Let's all wish Yogagirl happy puppy shopping!

Oh, the JOY!

I get to buy the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003" on DVD today! The bummer is I have to work a double shift, so if I actually want to WATCH it, I have to give up sleep. I might just do that. Every now and then its OK. There's nothing like watching a chainsaw-wielding madman while curled up on the couch with your fuzbutts!

I am the kind of person that...

...eats all of their candy before the actual movie starts.

...can keep a secret.

...thinks everyone in Hollywood needs to be bitch-slapped.

...could never stand "Madonna".

...prefers to sleep without sheets on the bed.

...turns on the air conditioner in the bedroom even when it is snowing outside.

...starts to eat their "to go" order in the car before getting home to use a plate and utensils.

...thinks organized sports are a waste of time.

...would rather pet a dog than hold a baby.

...drinks milk with pizza.

...won't argue unless I know I am right (I won't argue about opinion-based statements).

...likes cooked vegetables but not raw ones.

...won't eat a dessert that has fruit or nuts in it.

...believes in true love.

...would go into a burning house to get a dog and a scrapbook.

...can get up at 4am bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to scrapbook at camp after 3 hours of sleep but has to have 3 shots of espresso and 2 "No-Doz" to function at work after 8 hours of sleep.

...gets REALLY irritated when people spell "lose" with two "O's" (loose).

...would rather eat gourmet food than "down-home cooking".

...hates to talk on the phone.

...walks around the house naked.

...can't wear turtle necks because they are claustrophobic.

...sees the glass as "filled halfway" rather than "half empty" or "half full".

What is it with McDonalds?

It's not that I was there AGAIN, but it's that I had another encounter with a fuckwad! My husband put a bumper sticker on my car that identifies our political stance. At approximately 6 am this morning I was driving to work to do some overtime. I was hungry and thirsty. I was barely awake. The 6 shots of espresso I had already consumed just wasn't enough. I decided to stop by Micky-D's. I was not blocking any lane this time. As I prepared to give my order into the magic box, I hear, "What a fucking loser!" screamed at the top of Mr. Big-Truck's lungs behind me. (What IS it with big trucks?) I really didn't know he was speaking to me at first. I was just thinking "Dude, you're harshing my buzz yelling like that." I drove forward. Again, I hear, "You stupid fuck, what a waste of a vote!" Now I'm thinking, "What the hell is wrong with everyone?" Is it really necessary to be this much of dick this early in the morning? Do you really think what you're saying to me is going to make me think anything except that you are a loudmouth retard? I didn't hang out my window and give him a piece of my mind this time. I let it go. I was giggling a little, though, at the sheer stupidity of it all. He kept riding my bumper really close, and shaking his head as if he was impatient. I kept thinking "OH PLEEEEEZ hit me, that would be so freaking hilarious."

So far, that is my excitement for the day. I thought I would share.

What is wrong with me?

Remember that weight loss/muscle gain "competition" that I was doing with an unnamable person? Well, I'm losing. I'M LOSING. CRAP! I just can't seem to stick with anything except eating chocolate. Doing that on a regular basis is no problem. I am starting to think that competition doesn't motivate me. It actually scares the hell out of me. I start out with the kick-butt attitude, then I end up wanting to sit in the corner and cry until I can't see out of my eyes and snot is dripping down onto my shirt. I guess, though, if I could figure out how to make this all easy. I would be a billionaire and then some. I may have to take a break from my trainer because I am feeling the need to pay more towards some of my bills. I love training, but it is very expensive, and I have written down a whole notebook of workouts that I could use on my hiatus. I also don't know how much longer I can be a scrapbook consultant. I am not selling as much as I need to be. OK, I know it sounds like I am this pathetic giver-upper, but actually the doctor says I need to CHILL, and cut some things out in order to have more relax time. *Sigh* I'm not good at relaxing. Jim thinks I am a freak when I start cleaning the house at 10 pm and won't stop.

Louie and Mags are good little listeners. While sitting on the toilet this morning, I explained my life's dilemmas to them. They cocked their heads and moved their ears back and forth. When about halfway through, Louie started licking my leg as if to say, "I'm sorry mama, but PLEASE SHUT UP NOW AND LET US OUT!"

I'm Baaack

OK, so I took a few days off from blogging, but I'm back now. Things have been utterly chaotic to say the least. I went to scrapbook camp last weekend, and when I came back, I had, like, a bazillion emails to answer. That took about 2 days. Then yesterday I had to work a crazy/busy double shift from 6 am to 11 pm. I have to work another double shift today, too. I AM Dawn of the Dead. (I haven't seen that movie yet, by the way, but it's on my list when I have a spare 2 hours, ha!) Last night at the restaurant, I chatted with a couple of my customers. Somehow or another the name of my blog came up. They seemed very interested in reading it. (If you are reading, hello!) It is a crazy, crazy world, isn't it?

The COOLEST thing happened to me today. You remember that my husband works nights, well, he got up with me this morning, gave me a backrub, THEN fixed me breakfast! Do I have the BEST HUSBAND EVER or what? OMIGOD, I feel so lucky! So, even in the midst of chaos, I am truly blessed. OK, I'm getting entirely too warm and fuzzy here. For all you jealous people out there who are rolling your eyes right now, I will leave you with this: I work 70 motherfucking hours a week, then clean and scrub the house on the weekends. Bite me.

Guerilla Art and Lateness

There is a great article by Keri Smith. It is about Guerilla Art, and it is from March 2008. What a most excellent idea! It is about leaving anonymous art in public places. I love crazy little ideas like that. I would do it, then hang around to get digital pics of people's expressions. That is the "sneaky moto" in me. "Sneaky moto" is a term I learned from an instructor at the police academy. He used to say it all the time, and it cracked me up.

I was an hour late to work today. When I woke up, my alarm was going off, but I looked at the clock and it was an hour later than it was *supposed* to be. The alarm was set right, so I must have slept through the first hour of it going off. Yikes. I must have been tired. I flew out of bed and started running down the hallway to call my boss. He wasn't there yet, but I left this half-asleep, freaky little message. I'm sure he thought I must have been drinking the night before based on my message. I then came to my senses, slowed down and took my time. Who really cares? I waltzed right in, and no one said anything. I hope it doesn't affect the raise I'm supposed to get.

NERD ALERT, or FREAK ALERT? You decide!

When I was a young girl, I got my first start on computers playing Text Adventures by Scott Adams. Did any of you do this? OH. MY. GOD. These were the SHIT. I had a Texas Instruments Computer, and to save a game I had to use an actual audio tape! I even remember the code was "CS1"! Ha! I spent many an hour playing these text adventures. I think the Pirate Adventure and Ghost Town were my favorites. My mom also played these games, and her and I spent a HUGE portion of our life completely consumed by them. My artistic mother even drew very detailed MAPS and stuff! She still has them! I can remember getting stuck in Ghost Town, so I *mailed* a letter to Scott Adams asking for help. It took about 2 months to get a reply, but he sent me the hint I needed! Can you imagine having to wait 2 months for ONE hint? Too funny. We used to pay something like 40$ for each game. They are still fun, even though the games they have out now are insanely better. I don't play computer games anymore, although you may find me goofing around with the PlayStation every now and then, while eating Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries. CAUTION: You may become addicted.

YOHO! (That's a hint!) ;-)

It's a Wonderful Life

You think that until the weekend is over.

 
You know it's going to be an interesting week when you wake up and think to yourself, "How in the hell am I going to get through this week?" I need to shake things up a bit in my mundane, routine-oriented workweeks. We celebrated my stepson's Birthday this weekend when he came over, and also my father-in-law's birthday. I had to work that night at the restaurant, so we ate steak and birthday cake at 2:30 in the afternoon. I cleaned the house furiously before they all came over, and it is now a mess again. ALREADY. I also have mushrooms growing in my carpet. Yes, I said MUSHROOMS. We have a leak in one of our radiant heaters (we think) and black mold is growing just above the baseboard in my office, along with some mushrooms sprouting up where the carpet and the baseboard meet. It is really lovely. I am completely freaked out because people keep telling me how serious this is. Jim is going to have to rip a hole in the wall and scrub with bleach. That will be nice. Then, if we are lucky, we will find the leak and fix it. We have no money right now, so we have to figure this out ourselves. I am also reacting badly to the mold. (I am allergic to EVERYTHING.) I woke up last week with my eyes swollen shut, I am constantly sneezing and biting my tongue while I sneeze (OUCH!) and I itch everywhere. I am worried that one of the dogs is going to die from mushroom poisoning. If it is not one thing, it is another.