HOT WATER

I have never missed something so much.

I am going to take a nice, long, bubble bath. Ooh the luxury. The steam. The pretty girly smells. Cold showers can really make you a lunatic, LET ME TELL YOU. Not that I had far to go.

Change of subject.

I'm finding that I'm very picky. (You know what I mean.) No one is cutting the mustard. So far it is fun and entertaining, and I'm making some friends, but I think I'm a freak magnet. OK, not every guy I've talked with is necessarily a freak, but they just aren't good enough. And damnit, I'm not settling! I'm not even settling for a mediocre date, if they don't come up with something cool, forget it. (Disneyland is cool, for example.) You never know until you really get to know someone, but I gotta "feel it". Not that I was expecting (nor wanting) this to be a quick or easy process, I'm just sayin'.

Can't afford cable...OUT.
In between jobs...OUT.
Wants to marry me after 2 emails...OUT.
Calls me incessantly...OUT.
Can't type a complete sentence...OUT.
Refers to himself in the 3rd person...OUT. (Wasn't that a Seinfeld episode? LOL.)

I can't find normal. I'm not trying to be shallow or snobby or anything, I just have standards, that's all.

They say when you stop looking, THAT'S when it happens. OK. Maybe I'll give that a try, this is nuts.

OK, gotta run. Hot water awaits.

My head is spinning.

No, I haven't been drinking. Things are just going so fast and furious in my life. I feel like I don't have one second to take it all in. To reflect. I need a switch to stop time for a week or so. Between work, errands, responsibilities, phone calls, paperwork, projects, and other crap, it is very difficult to get a foothold. I have a little anxiety going on. I got an unexpected phone call this morning from one of my new "friends". It was sweet, and exciting, and made me feel good, but I find myself grappling for words these days. I feel like a Highschool girl or something. Ha. I'm going to try and get some sleep, but I'm not holding my breath.

First Date?

It isn't until June or so, but STILL! The guy I've been talking to in California wants to meet at either Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm this summer. Great date, huh? I thought so. In the meantime, we just keep talking and getting to know each other. This gives me time to work on my weight, too, which freaks me out. He doesn't seem to care, but I do. The NY guy wants to move to WA. Really?

We shall see how things turn out. I am a natural pessimist, I think. Or maybe I'm just jaded, I don't know. I need to get the hell over it!

Happy Superbowl!

My new NYC hat that I bought for my ex as a souvenir, but then he left, so I kept the hat. Doesn't exactly scream 'Superbowl' but I'm not really a sports person anyways. Happy Superbowl.

Hot Damn!

I'm down 9 pounds in a week and a half! That's a total of 19 since December. On my way to being a hottie! Ha.

I'm trying to be open-minded and casual.

Woke up at 7:30 and it's about time for my nap. LOL. Got invited to a Superbowl party tomorrow, but I don't know if I'm going to go. Haven't decided yet.

Been emailing a couple of people for a few weeks now (yes, guys) who are both sweet. One of the conversations is getting pretty interesting, we'll see. I've been pretty tight-lipped, letting them do most of the talking. I'm loosening up a little, though. One is from NY and the other is from California. Too far away, but who knows. It's fun to just chat and get used to this new adjustment in my life. You know, dip my toes in the pool slowly.

It just keeps getting better and better.

For the first time in as long as I can remember I owe the IRS my kidneys and my first born child. I always get a refund, but not this year! It is more than I can come up with by April 15th. Fuck me. Back to eating Top Ramen and frozen burritos. I sometimes wonder what keeps me from driving off a cliff Thelma and Louise style, but without Thelma.

Wine, Cards, and The Captain & Tennille

We each have a personal bottle of Woodbridge Chardonnay, I'm losing at Gin Rummy, and The Captain & Tennile are coaxing us to get up and dance. "That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it!"

Yup, Friday night with my ma. LOL! I love these kinds of nights, honestly. Brings back memories of my childhood and is just a way to totally decompress from the trainwreck that is my life. I don't know what I would do without my mom right now.

Don't you wish you could join us?

Yeah, go ahead. Check me into the loony bin.

There is someone I wish I could talk to, but I don't know his real name. Oh well, he probably wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. I could have a one-sided conversation here on my blog; I have so much I want to tell him. But for tonight I'll just talk to him in my head.

Plumbing Issues

It was a DAY.

I took the day off to deal with my plumbing issue and to get some much-needed R&R. It looks like my neighbor can get me a new water heater tank for a few hundred bucks and is going to install it for me for free. I owe him BIG. I'm going to have to cook for him or something! I feel like such an idiot with house maintenance issues. I have to call him for everything. "My heater is broken! My water is cold! I can't lift this! I need help installing my TV! How do you use the lawn mower?" Good grief.

LOST in LOST

AGAIN. My biggest question: Desmond wasn't on the original flight (he is the one who caused the original crash by not resetting the numbers to keep the magnetic forces at bay), so the bomb going off didn't recreate the time accurately for that counterpart of the show, so something else is going on. WTF? Damn it!

Whoever wrote that show was on crack. But I love them. ;-)

Several things here.

Lou is sporting my new scarf and leopard gloves, albeit with much annoyance. I could NOT get him to look at the camera. He punishes me for doing such things. I'm sure he'll shit on the floor later. You may also notice that there are no sheets on my bed. Yep, just the naked mattress. I washed the sheets over a week ago and have not put them back on. I am the epitome of laziness sometimes. I also hate putting sheets on. HATE. IT.

I bought this candle, and I don't care if I had 1000 dogs in this house simultaneously peeing, you would not smell it! It is SO worth the $8.99. Trust me on this.

Bistro M.D.

It is going well, the food is quite tasty and the weight is falling off, but OMG I WANT A FREAKING COOKIE.

You may fall over when you read this.

I went to church today. A new friend of mine invited me to go with her and her husband to a local community church. Now, for those of you that know me, you know I love the Lord but am not all that thrilled about organized religion. That is still true to some degree, but if the people are real and the place isn't a stadium, I'm willing to give it a chance. And NO, I did not spontaneously combust when I walked through the doors. LOL I am not exactly a shining example of what a "typical" mainstream Christian woman is, I guess. I cuss, I drink occasionally, I watch horror movies, I don't have the whole little cozy family thing going on and I am little sarcastic. Now, I don't expect to be joining the choir or leading Bible study next week, but it was nice. I believe it is what is in your heart that makes your faith what it is, and there is no room for judging others or trying to be someone you are not.

I suppose you could say I have hit a sort of "rock bottom" in my life over the last few years. Things aren't that bad, but they could certainly be a whole lot better. I'm working on that. I thank God for what I have, and ask for help and wisdom when I need it. It isn't God's fault for anything that has happened in my life. It is just life. We make choices, but all in all I believe in a personal relationship with my maker and do not consider Him my personal genie in a bottle.

I felt a little out of place today, but once I got settled, I talked to God. I said, "Where do I go from here? What is the plan?" (I don't like to mince words.) After that I sat in silence, listening to the message. I felt physically alone, but I knew God was right there keeping me together. I could feel it. I feel Him sometimes when I am home or driving. He told me that He knows all about me and what I am going through. He said he has never once left me. I asked Him to let me know that it wasn't my own voice telling me those things. The words, "Trust me." just kept coming to mind. That was it. When I opened my Bible, there were familiar scribblings among the pages. They reminded me of a different time. The pastor was teaching from 1 Corinthians. A good chapter for me right now.

I pretty much ran out as soon as the service was over and didn't talk to anyone because I'm not used to church and haven't been in one for many years. Silly, huh?

I came home and my neighbor and I have been trying to figure out my water problem. I'm going to have to get on my knees about this one I think. UG.

The Cuteness of Sleeping

Why are sleeping dogs so damn cute?

Anything is possible.

Someone said that to me today. I really want to believe them.

Neurotic with a side of OCD.

Today? Organizing our snacks and listening to QUEEN on XM radio. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS NO TIME FOR LOSERS. Does this photo prove I am neurotic with a side of OCD?

Play-Doh Fun

My team has been couped up in a conference room all day every day this week and my boss brought in Play-Doh today. This was the result.

It is amazing what a little colored dough can do for your spirits. We all acted like 5-year-olds, but what did she expect? I think she knew what she was doing. I was a little disappointed in my molding skills, but I tried. I don't even know what that is, a little devil thing? A dog with skinny ears? A gremlin? Lame.

Cold showers in the winter.

Well, Fuck. The heat is fixed and now I don't have hot water. Cold showers in the winter are just neat. Also, for extra fun, not only did the wind knock me in the head, but it knocked my fence over. THEN, the rear panel of my car got smashed. I don't have enough money to fix everything. I want to take a baseball bat to the entire house right now.

I lost it today and acted like an idiot on several levels. Additionally neat. Things just keep getting better and better and its only Wednesday. Perhaps tomorrow I'll be diagnosed with a fatal disease.

Now you know why I haven't posted in a few days. No, I'm not alright, and yes my brain was knocked loose and is apparently malfunctioning.

My brain was knocked loose.

We are having a wind/rainstorm tonight and I was out in it loading up the car. (Important week at work next week and need to be close by.) As I was loading with the door popped up, a big gust of wind came up and slammed the big door down on my head. Knocked me to the ground. OUCH. Needless to say, I have a headache and I also hurt my back. I also feel spacey. Awesome.