Leave a comment so I won't cry.

Thanks for the nice comments and emails, I thought I was talking to myself there for awhile! I like to blog, but you are all so quiet! I don't blog for comments, but its nice to know I have a few peeps. ;-)

I actually have lots to talk about, but my tummy is upset and I need to rest for awhile. I'll ramble a little later. Just let me know you're out there once in a while, K? I almost shut down the bloggery a couple of times because I started to ask myself why, why do I do this? I still ask myself that, but it is kind of cool to know people do read me. It is motivating!

Thanks again for speaking up and I'll keep up the freak show!

Miss me?

Would you miss me if I were gone?

Confessions

1. I don't always take my makeup off before going to bed. 

2. I love to pop zits. Anyone's. 

3. I love the smell of gasoline. 

4. I have a hard time finishing books. I start one, then start another one, and so on and so on. 

5. I used to be a neat freak, and suddenly I'm a slob and I don't care. 

6. I have never thought that Brad Pitt was good looking. At all. 

7. I get obsessive about certain things and I drive myself crazy.

8. I spend a shitload of money on expensive shampoo/conditioner. 

9. I am very uncomfortable on airplanes and I'm wondering how much Valium I'm gonna have to take on the way to the East Coast. I'm not afraid it will crash; it is the small seat with too many people around. 

10. I can't close a Ziplock bag to save my life.

Big Uglies

I spent the day yesterday on the hunt for good veges to go with all of my meat! I went North to find the famous "Big Uglies". They are these mutant carrots that are the best carrots you will ever eat in your life! They are so sweet and full of flavor. You have to be quick, because all the stands sell out of them so fast. So here is the photo montage of my day. I brought Lou, who was a good boy. Mags can't go on outings like this because she has an anxiety disorder that makes her a complete nightmare in the car. I wanted to get one of those big jars of honey, but I would never eat it all. I ended up getting quite a few pounds of carrots, some miniature sweet onions and some seasonal squash. Lou zonked out in the car on the way back, it was so cute. Making some homemade stew tonight with my veges and meat.

The best compliment of my life.

Apparently, my honey was talking to his good friend who I hadn't met yet, and trying to reassure him that he and his wife would like me. (We were all getting together for dinner.) He told his friend, "If you don't like Cheryl, there is something wrong with you."

That made me cry. Sometimes it is hard for me to believe compliments about myself.

Working in Fangs

Work did the Halloween thing today (big party) so I threw on my Vampire outfit for the day. Let me tell you how fun it is to work in fangs! I have a good set, the kind that you get molded to your eye teeth and they look and feel real.

I was in a meeting with my boss, and she started laughing and told me she couldn't talk to me seriously with me grinning at her with fangs on. LOL!

Just got back from dinner out and I'm so glad it's Friday! It looks like NJ/NY is a go, but we haven't sorted out the details yet. I'll probably be going the week of my b-day. That will be weird!

Modern Family

OH. MY. GOD. The new show "Modern Family" is totally freaking nuts. I was laughing so hard I was choking on my spit. Anybody watching it?

Okanagan Beef

Late dinner. I was craving a Philly steak sandwich, and with the meat I have now, I made a good one! I have one third of a fresh steer from friends in the Okanagan (hence the mention in the previous post) and I swear meat from the grocery store will forever be crap now! This meat is absolutely delicious! No hormones and weird chemicals, it is so flavorful. It needs no seasoning! It came all neatly packaged and flash frozen. Had to get an extra freezer. There is enough meat in there for an army! Won't be going hungry anytime soon. PETA eat your heart out! Haha.

Mental Day

I stayed home from work today; I just couldn't do it. For the last 30 hours I have been relaxing and recouping. Lots of resting. You can only burn the candle at both ends for so long before you collapse. But I know my limits. My boss sent me a really nice email, and the dogs love it when mama is home, they don't leave my side. My sweetie bought me pizza and gave me meds. The perfect combo! There may have been talk of me not working in the future. I'm not quite ready yet but retreating further into the mountains (with satellite internet of course) does sound really nice. Perhaps about 20 acres of land in the mountains somewhere with a custom-built house surrounded by the most beautiful landscape? OK! I don't know what the future holds, but I certainly have paid my dues. You don't wait for life to happen; you make it happen.

Brownie Batter

I was a little down today, so I made some brownies. Some people eat ice cream, I make big batches of gooey brownies with chocolate chunks in them. Then, I stick my finger in the mix and eat half of the batter before I even put it in the oven. Somehow, I get it all over me, too. I have some sort of problem. I'm not messy with cookie dough, so WTF?

New Bling

OK, now that I'm done with all the poop-scrubbing, here is a picture of the fabulous bracelet "R" brought me back from Hawaii. (My coworker.) How sweet is that? I love her. Also, my boss called me from NJ yesterday and said I might be going out there next Sunday! More to come once I know for sure, but I can tell you this, I will spend one day eating in, and photographing New York City. Come hell or high water! I hope this trip goes forward, I've never been past the West Coast, and I need to expand my horizons. New York is on my Bucket List, too! It would be so cool to get to go for free, too, I just don't want to get my hopes up, and then get all disappointed. I don't do disappointed well, as you all know.

20 piles of runny poop.

OMG I just woke up to 20 piles of runny poop. (Maggie has the shits apparently.) I almost stepped in it. Then the toilet backed up and overflowed. Then I puked.

It has been a SPLENDID morning.

Dinner & a Movie with Mom

I made it home. Barely. Thought I was going to fall asleep at the wheel. Went out with mom tonight and had prime rib, went shopping and then went back to her house and watched "Along Came Polly". I love that stupid movie. I don't know why that tired me out so much, but it did. Now I am going to hit the sheets and fly off into dreamland. So, until tomorrow my blog peeps, sleep well.

Straws and camel's backs.

I bottle things up, and then I let things go. Then, one day, I explode all over you with hell's fury. I can only take so much bullshit until I tell you how it is. That was work today. Then I get a bunch of condescending crap and people trying to say I can't handle stress. It is not stress, people. It is anger. AT YOU. NOT the same. If only they KNEW how much crap I've put up with and stress I've endured in my life. What I can't handle is incompetence, arrogance, laziness and people's PERCEPTIONS of reality. I get so damn sick of judgmental drama. Just get the fuck out of my face.

Sometimes I really hate people. No wonder I like dogs better. I guess what gets me through times like this is knowing who I am. If I was having an identity crisis, I'd really be in trouble. I have my good points, but I also know that once I get to the breaking point, well, it isn't pretty. I'm very direct and I don't mince words. Many people aren't ready for that, especially since I'm mostly calm, collected and usually the comic relief. I deflect with humor. I'm tired and I've been working too much. I think it's time for a break. Like it or not. Let's hope it isn't someone's arm.

No Ideas

I have no freakin' idea what to blog about.

You've heard enough about me working, you've seen enough of my weird jewelry, and I'm sure if I take another picture of my feet or head, you will stick something sharp into your eyeball. So that's where I'm at. Blah. Nothing. Food? It's been all fast lately. Mood? Serious and focused. Yesterday I wanted to crack skulls, some of my coworkers across the country need a kick in the arse. I'm thinking of hanging a noose in my office as a Halloween decoration.

I'll post more later when I can think of something to say. I have to go eat my Quarter Pounder with cheese now, and I don't want to hear about it. My ass is going to be the size of Texas if I don't get it together.

VP Love

Wow! I just got a personal email from the VP thanking me for my hard work and long hours! (I've NEVER been the recipient of an email like that to just me! VP's don't normally do that.) She CC'd my boss and the director. Weeeee! I feel special.

Working From Home

More work, work, work, except I just got kicked off the VPN. Maybe someone is trying to tell me something.

The best things about working from home are the puppy dogs lying next to me, and not having to wear pants. Got a big pot of chili cooking and the house smells delicious. I haven't eaten anything yet today and I'm starving. The smell is killing me, and it won't be ready until 3.

Something is wrong with me.

It is bad enough that I have no life outside of working really, but when I work all day Friday, into Friday night AND THEN KEEP GOING until 4:30 am Saturday, well, you start to wonder about yourself. Now, one of my coworkers went to Hawaii last week and I was given impossible deadlines, but I can't believe this is happening to me. I am becoming one of those people I never thought I would be. When I was younger, I remember stupid things happening at work and someone would say, "Screw it, it's not like we're curing cancer here." HA. Now I can't say that. That is what my company is actually trying to do. So much for excuses! :-)

So, I slept all day and am all turned around. I went to bed at 4:30 am, got back up at 9 am and had breakfast from the Sultan Bakery, then went back to bed and slept until 4 pm. I'm totally screwed. This is worse than jet lag, NOT that I would know what that is like because I've never been out of the Pacific Time Zone. Fuck I'm pathetic.

I just ordered a pizza. For the second time this week. So much for healthy. I have about 50 unwatched DVDs sitting here and am trying to decide which one to watch. It is a party, I'm telling you. The dogs even abandoned me last night around 2 am and went to bed without me. They are confused. I have "The Proposal" with Sandra Bullock here to watch, but I'm thinking something like "Woodchipper Massacre" might be more appropriate tonight. Hehe.

Native American Jewelry

A friend of mine's mom is Native American, and she made me this beautiful necklace and earrings. The pictures don't do them justice of course, but the bead work is amazing. In the picture of the necklace, it looks like a photo in the middle, but it is actually a rock of some sort. It's swirly! I love the word swirly. Swirly!

A New Kind of Tired

I have found a new kind of tired. A kind that goes beyond no sleep. I don't know how I drive to work some days. It must be autopilot. At a certain time of night, things get blurry and fuzzy - even with glasses on. Things are getting that way right now and I promised someone something for work tomorrow. I can't do it. I hope I can get up early and get it done because I am a woman of my word.

 
It would be so much easier to be a lying, unethical slacker. Damnit! Some say I push myself way too hard, but that is who I am.