I wonder where I'll be a year from now.

Can't sleep tonight. I can't complain either, though, because I've had some of the best sleep here in the last few days than I've had in a while.

I'm out on the patio off my bedroom gazing at the stars (and blogging). I am guzzling water, too. Carl's Jr. make me thirsty. Other than smelling the California fires in the distance, it is really nice out here. I can see Orion, and the Big and Little Dippers. I am surprised I can see the stars so clearly here. It is not as quiet as back home, but it is peaceful. I don't believe in Astrology, I actually think it's kind of dumb (sorry), but Astronomy fascinates me. I could look at the stars for hours.

I wonder where I'll be a year from now, and what I will be doing. It's scary and exciting to think about it. My mom said something along those lines tonight, she wondered what the next year would bring. She asked me what I was doing this time last year and one of the perks of having a blog is, I could tell her. I had just smashed my thumb into oblivion. LOL. I had no idea back then what was in store for me. Isn't it funny how you really never can guess what life is going to do? Yes, it has been a tough year, and there are many people I miss, but there were some good things too. Some good things that changed my life. I didn't see any of it coming, but I'm glad about that. Bad surprises and good surprises. And many more to come.

Right now? I'm just trying to live in the moment.

Left alone with my thoughts.

You wanted to see more pictures of my feet, right? That's what I thought. Here they are, kicking and splashing in the pool. At night.

My mom went to bed, and I've been left alone with my thoughts. This is where the problem lies. I'm thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about. I'm scared. Everyone keeps saying it will be alright, and not to worry, but I feel alone, even though I'm married. It is hard to have hope sometimes; being human and all. There is nothing I can do about anything that is happening (or not happening) to me. I pray that God will give me peace regardless of where I end up.

Carl's and a Cold Pool

Carl's Jr. for dinner. My eating is stellar these days.

I'm sitting outside in the warm wind. There will be no skinny dipping at night this time, the pool is like glacier water. That would hurt, if you know what I mean. LOL.

Water & Wind

Playing in the ice-cold pool. With wind. I wish they would just tell me now whether or not I have a job so that if I didn't, I could just stay here.

Sun & Coffee

Really the title should be, "Feet & Coffee", but I digress. Now this is more like it. It's still windy, but it's in the 80's, so the wind is welcome while I sit here and bake. The pool is a mess, but if I can swim in a lake, I can swim with a few leaves in a chlorinated pool. The "Coffee Bean" shop missed me, I can tell. My mom calls it the "Green Bean" because she can't remember the name of it. This cracks me up, and it will now forever be the "Green Bean". I'm getting my fill before I leave.

Windstorm

Well isn't this special. A nice windstorm is occurring. It's gusting pretty good out there and messing up my pool! Stupid wind. I'm confined to the house at the moment. Poo. There is no jacuzzi, or I'd be in that.

Biagio's

I absolutely had to have my favorite pizza, just like last time. My mom doesn't like green peppers, so I settled for pepperoni and salami. It was super good!

If you ever visit here, go to Biagio's! The same little Italian family has owned it forever. When I was a little girl, my grandparents started coming here every Thursday night for pizza, spaghetti, salad, and drinks. They got to know the staff, and the whole family that owned it. "Grandma" was this little old Italian woman, who would make these homemade cream puffs, and of course give them to my grandparents. Everyone loved my grandparents, they were always the life of the party, and were outrageous tippers. Anyway, I developed an affinity for these cream puffs of course, and so I would beg for them every time I went with them. Such a fond memory. I wish I could still get them!

Pocahontas?

I try to be stylish; I really do. It fails.

This is living!

Wine, fruit, cheese and crackers. Now THIS is living! Next, I am going to dive in the pool. It doesn't take much to please me.

Oh DANG! My mom and I just finished off an entire bottle of wine! I'm hammered. LOL.

Seal Beach

Seal Beach is down in the Long Beach area and it's so adorable. I went into my favorite little surf shop, (almost bought that cute hat) and just walked around and took in the ocean air. Lots of cute dogs at the Crema Cafe.

Prettiest Backyard

The backyard is so cool here. Besides the pool, there is a grapefruit and an orange tree, palms and other various tropical plants. It's so pretty.

I'm headed off to Seal Beach today, so I'll take some pics down there.

Meet Me at the Coffee Bean!

Time for sunning and swimming! Going to nap on the lawn chair for a while, then have some wine and cheese that my mom bought at Costco for us.

The pool always looks so inviting, that's why I'm pointing at it. If you're close by (Lake Forest), email me and we'll meet at the Coffee Bean! That is, if you aren't a maniac psycho, because then we'd have a problem.

Small Heart Attack

I'm here. It's not supposed to be really hot today or tomorrow, but the sunshine sure does feel nice. We got in very early this morning, and I collapsed until a few minutes ago. Don't have an agenda yet.

I may have had a small heart attack earlier. We got off an exit to go grab some coffee and get gas, and it was pitch black with really faded street lines. I got into the left-hand turn lane and ended up going down the wrong side of the road! OMFG! I have never done that before! EVER! I swear it wasn't a blonde driving moment because my mom didn't see it either. I was shaken and decided to kick back for an hour and answer emails by the side of the road.

Juice complained about my toilet pics, so I won't post the latest uber gross rest stop pics I took. I stood OVER the toilet and peed because it was THAT bad. EW. Rest stops in California blow.

Truck Stops Rule

It's huge, OMG! (That's what she said, haha.) I love truck stops. With all the truckers. And big steak.

Steak on the Brain

I have had steak on the brain for about 100 miles now. NEED. STEAK. No more fast food. I scared my mom with my obsession with finding a steakhouse. I was driving and yelling out for keeping eyes peeled. Once we found a sign that said, "STEAK 26 miles", I gunned it. We're here now. Finally.

Santiam Rest Stop

Santiam Rest Stop in Oregon.

Non-descript. Clean enough and roomy. What? Don't you like pictures of toilets?

Oregon

The many faces of boredom. Or batshit crazy. Whichever.

In Oregon now. Which is thrilling. Not.

Rest Stop Reviews

CrazyDogMama's Rest Stop Reviews!

Maytown, just South of Tenino in WA.

Under construction. portable potties only. Neat. They were clean enough and didn't stink, had adequate toilet paper. Very important for us girl-types. Easy to drive in and out of.

Having fun now, wouldn't you say? Stop rolling your eyes. This could be useful to someone. Or entertaining. It's entertaining to me, so shut up. LOL.

Here we go again.

The very familiar trip of 22 hours of driving 80 mph, creepy rest stops, and fast food. I'm stocked up on Rock Stars and Vivarin, and I've already had a triple iced mocha. When I WANT to be sleepy and tired, I can't get that way, but when I DON'T want it, I'm yawning all over the place with heavy eyelids. Figures. My mom is already irritated at me because I'm late. I can't help it, I'm not a morning person. AT ALL.

Just Breathe

One minute I'm fine, and the next minute I'm freaking out. Not knowing things drives me nutty. I've learned to embrace change, but I want to know WHAT the change is. My lack of patience doesn't help. I can't seem to concentrate. I'm in sort of a trance, like 'whatever'. This is big stuff. Everything going on in my life is big stuff. I knew I was at a crossroads; I just didn't realize how big of deal it was going to be. There is also big stuff going on in the world, and all of it combined for me seems a little overwhelming. Just breathe, I tell myself. You can do this. There have been some interesting developments for me; I'll share when I can. For the next week, however, I think I'm just going to try and concentrate on sun and fun with my mom. I'll be leaving quite early, so stay tuned for all my silly blogs.