A little diversion.

I got permission to take a few days off to go to California. Yay! I don't really want my mom to drive down alone this time of year, and she has to go down for some estate matters, so we're making the road trip together in her little truck. It will be a little cramped, but we'll get some good girl-time in. We're leaving next Friday, then I have to fly back on Wednesday. It's not a long trip, but we always drive straight through, which will at least give me 4 days of sunbathing and swimming! I guess I'll be a tan vampire this year. LOL. It was very warm there in the last week, in the 90's. It is pouring down rain here. This will give me a nice little diversion from my routine.

Also, I have to mention that I am having MAJOR hot flashes today. What is up with THAT?

State of the Union

I just woke up with a start and felt compelled to write this. The situation facing our nation is very serious. I am not afraid, nor is this what "keeps me awake" at night. I am just here to warn you that things are very precarious, and to prepare the best you can for the inevitable crash. If you pray, I would do it now.

I will be biting necks.

I just bought a vampire costume for my Halloween Party. I got a black hooded velvet cape, some realistic glue-on fangs (doesn't affect talking and eating) and some blood-red lipstick. My house will be decorated to the hilt, too. I still know how to have fun. Damnit.

Need Laptop Ideas

Despite all the good, I still don't sleep, as you may have noticed from the time on my last post. I really don't know what to do about that one except try to exercise a lot.

Anyway, I'm researching laptops. So far, I like the Sony's and the Toshiba's. I love the new attributes! The resolution is so clear and colorful! I guess mine was pretty old. Shiny new toys make me happy!

Anyone have an opinion on good laptops? Don't ignore my questions like you usually do, I really need some help here!

I'm not invisible anymore.

Remember I told you I was going through some significant personal changes? Well, apparently people are noticing something different about me/my life of late. I have been getting some very interesting (and sometimes entertaining) comments. Let me list some of those out for you:

"What's going on with you?"
"You look really good today; do you have an interview or a hot date or something?" (No, I'm married.)
"You have really come out of your shell."
"There's a new glow or something about you, what's UP?" (That's when I have to explain I'm not pregnant, GOD no.)
"Glad to see you getting out there." (Where am I going?)
"You seem happier or something, are you high?" (LOL!)

Most of the time I just smile shyly like I have a secret. Maybe I do.

Dead Laptop

Crap. Laptop is fried. Figures. Now I'm going to have deal with Windows Vista. Something is always broken, ever notice that? You fix one thing and then something else goes. ARG.

Two quick things.

Y'all need to keep fingers and toes crossed today. I talked to a computer guy on the phone, and he said either my adapter is toast, or my laptop is toast. The adapter is only $100, but I'd have to sell a kidney right now to get a new computer. I guess I could wait until I got my bonus at Christmas, but that is a LONG time to be without a computer! You all know how I love my digital pictures and Adobe Photoshop. I also have the patience of a starving bear.

The other thing is, I am really busy at work right now getting ready for an audit in November, but I'd really like to take a short trip to California with my mom for some girl time in mid-October. PRAY I can haul some serious ass and get stuff done so I can go! I would love that so much!

Compliments

I received a really nice compliment from a coworker yesterday and I wanted to express my gratitude. I'm not used to so many compliments, but they mean a lot, and I am grateful. Kindness is hard to come by in this life, and I don't believe it gets enough attention. I was told by this person that when our company sells that they would be highly recommending me at other companies because I was so good at what I did. WOW. How nice!

What is going on with me.

So, what is going on with me besides brainwave stabilization? Well, my dance card has been full this week. Out to coffee last night, dinner with mom tomorrow, out with the girls on Thursday and hopefully getting my hair done and then a date with cognac on Friday. I'm tired already.

Brainwave Stabilization

After my minor meltdown the other day, I experienced what I call 'dead calm'. Everything that had been haunting me and puzzling me, came into focus. My emotions stopped, and my brain started. Everything was suddenly (eerily) crystal clear to me. I have been "calm, cool and collected" ever since. Even at this moment. What seemed so impossible to me before, doesn't seem so complicated now. I don't know why. Perhaps I'm using the left half of my brain more?

I don't go to therapy much anymore, but I did go today, and she said some things to me that made me feel pretty good. She told me that despite all the difficulties and tragedy that I have been through in such a short period of time, that I have progressed in mental "maturity" at a staggering rate. My thinking is different. She said she has never had a client that tackled their challenges so forcefully and successfully, so quickly. My brain waves were the most calm and stable today since I started therapy (EEG Biofeedback), which means I am finally operating without debilitating anxiety and fear. I was extremely calm, logical and rational (I know, I know, you don't believe it.). I was actually articulating my thought process well. I still have some "life navigating" to do (don't we all), but it is controlled and thought-out now, rather than a jumble of ideas rattling around going nowhere.

She could have just been pumping sunshine up my ass to boost my esteem, but truly, for the first time, maybe EVER, I feel like I'm finally moving forward in my life with a lot more confidence, and a lot less crazy. And I'm not taking any crap. Look out world.

Significant Personal Challenges

I'm sorry my blogging sucks right now. I'll do the best I can, as often as I can, but I am facing significant personal challenges/changes at the moment, and I can't talk about it in much detail online.

Long Shower

I just got out of a really long, hot shower. I never do that. I just sat on the side of the tub and let the water fall on top of me for an hour. Is that weird?

Meltdown

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Meltdown. It started about 2:30 am. I don't know how much I want to talk about it, but there was crying and yelling. Frustration. There is no point in getting up today, but I have to. Life goes on, like it or not. My marriage is in trouble. I need a hug. Well, I need more than a hug, but I'll take what I can get.

Too Much Crab

Speaking of eating, I just ate entirely too much crab. I feel sick. It's not good. Aren't you glad I'm telling you about it? Maybe I should go for a walk or something. This is when I need a beach. A nice walk along the surf would be nice right about now.

Future is so bright, I gotta wear shades?

Something Strange

I wake up with a voracious appetite. And I mean voracious! Most people I know don't even eat breakfast, and certainly aren't starving when they wake up. I could eat a steak dinner when I wake up. It's weird, no? During the week I don't get up with enough time to eat, but on the weekends I go straight to the frig. Is there anyone else out there like this? Probably not. LOL.

Help Me!

My computer DIED. It is completely fried. It worked fine yesterday, and today it won't turn on AT ALL. It's like no power is getting to it. I know the power works on the outlet because my printer and scanner still come on, but the computer is just pitch black. I've checked to make sure everything is plugged in, and it is, but if the power pack (adapter) died, then the battery source should kick in, right? Unless they are both fried. I don't know what to do. Should I take it to the shop? Just buy a new power pack and battery? I can't afford a new laptop. SHIT! Thank God for the Crackberry! But I can't do anything with my digital pics, or get to my online banking. This sucks the big one. HELP ME!

Best Fajitas

"Mi Tierra" has the best fajitas, hands down! How boring do you have to be to take a pic of your dinner every night? Gah. Sorry guys, I'm TRYING to get a life. LOL.

Thrill a minute.

My new earrings. It's a thrill a minute around here. Fuck, is there anyone even out there? Hello?

If I could be doing anything.

This is what I would want to be doing. I don't know who these people are, I just like the photo. I wonder if it is authentic or staged. This is one of my dreams. Maybe someday.