Breakfast Kick

I did something really bad. I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. The shame. I've been on this breakfast kick for some reason. I don't know. Now the grease ball is sitting in my stomach like a meteorite. UG. Why do we do these things to ourselves? McDonald's is the devil.

Breakfast for dinner!

Yup, that is ketchup on my hashbrowns. You HAVE to have ketchup on hashbrowns. My mom and I went to a pancake house for dinner. I of course had to have eggs benedict. I'm getting in trouble for blogging. Apparently its rude. Go figure.

Dogtown and Dancing

On the lighter side of life, I love the National Geographic channel. "Dogtown" will MELT your heart! If it wasn't in Utah, I think I would volunteer there! They help dogs who have been deemed "unhelpable". It is the coolest place EVER. Dogs are so awesome.

One other thing, shh, don't tell anyone, I have agreed to watch "Dancing with the Stars" with my friends Juice and Hole next Thursday night. Hehe. I told them we should practice during commercials. NO, there will be no video.

Got Chili?

This is a great spicy chili recipe!

It works best to cook it in a big soup pot, or Dutch oven. Make sure your ingredients are the highest quality you can find/afford.

Also, I don't always use beans. I actually prefer chili "Texas Style" with all meat. If you go for that, just up the amount of beef/sausage you use to compensate.

This recipe is popular at potlucks, but in that case I take it down a notch with the spices. At home, it is no-holds-barred!

1.5 lbs. ground beef (lean)
1 lb. ground Italian sausage (sweet or spicy)
3 onions, chopped
2 jalapeños (fresh), chopped
1 cup red wine
1 cup water
2 8 oz. cans tomato paste
28 oz. of whole tomatoes, diced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 15 oz. can kidney beans
1 15 oz. can chili beans OR black beans
1/4 cup chili powder (I use spicy)
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tbsp granulated sugar
2 tbsp oregano
1 tbsp basil
1 tsp cumin
1 tbsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp salt

Brown ground beef, sausage, onion and garlic, then drain. Add all other ingredients and simmer on medium heat for 20 minutes, then turn to low and simmer for 1 and a half hours, stirring occasionally. Serve with a dollop of sour cream and shredded cheese.

Makes 12 servings.

Sometimes I add chopped green peppers and tarragon. Use warm tortillas to dip! YUMMY.

Mailbag

Many of you would like to know what is meant by my new mantra at the top "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.", so instead of answering a bunch of individual emails about it, I thought I'd post about it. I found this statement by accident, really, but I thought it was profound and that it had much truth to it. To me it means to "die to self", so you can live in Christ. It is a Christian thing, but the actual quote came from a Jewish man named Morrie Schwartz from his book "Tuesdays with Morrie".

Here are some excerpts to give you a general idea:

"By living each day as if it could be our last, we relate to each life experience passionately, powerfully, and memorably."

"Have you ever experienced something so memorable that it is impossible to forget it? Most of us forget a large percentage of the people we meet, the places we go, the events we experience. But certain things stick out in our minds and are never forgotten. Why? What's special about those memorable times?"

"There don't seem to be too many days or happenings that we lock in like this. How can we produce more experiences and days to be lived as powerfully? Morrie tells us: Learn how to die, and you learn how to live."

Thoughts

Because people generally don't talk about it, I've often wondered about it. What is the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning? What is the last thing you think about when you go to bed? What dominates your thoughts during the day?

I know everyone has to focus on work or tasks, family matters, that sort of thing, but I suspect, unless I am a complete freak, that other things creep in there, maybe thoughts that repeat themselves for you privately each day.

If you were on a secluded beach somewhere right now, with no worries of finances or work or family, what would your thoughts land on? Where would your mind wander to?

I don't expect you to answer, of course, but because I find myself going back to certain thoughts so frequently (that aren't just the day's agenda) I thought I would put it out there for you to ponder as well. What did reading this post make you think of? You never know, it could be really important!

Anyway, happy thoughts to you!

Bling Mail!

I love getting mail! Especially when it is jewelry made special for me!

Here is my new Crackberry charm and matching earrings! (Because that is important.) Yes, I know this is what 12-year-old girls do, but I don't care, you see. I don't want to grow up. Growing up sucks. Getting these, made my crappy day just a little better! I'm sparkly now and hip with the youth. HA. Not so much. I'm just an old fart looking silly.

OMG, where is the liquor?

Busy, stupid, hair-pulling Monday. Every two minutes someone was bellowing, "Are you done with that yet?" into my cubical. Which I love. But now it's over. Thank God.

For the end of my day? A doctor's appointment. Joy. I am asking for drugs. All they can say is no, and they probably will, but I'm going to try.

My mom surprised me and came to take me to lunch. It was very sweet, and an escape for a while was much needed. Thanks Ma! I had a chicken sammy, and an iced mocha.

Oh, how I miss the pool.

This is a shot I took at night that I thought turned out cool. It looks so inviting to me. I really miss the pool, and the warm summer nights.

It is cold, dark and rainy today and I'm sitting by the window drinking some coffee. Maybe I'll put some Bailey's in it.

When you go in the pool at night, at first it is a little cold, but then it soon feels like a bathtub, and you don't want to get out. I don't know why I like that so much, but I do. Anyway, I am daydreaming about it. One day it won't be a daydream. Maybe many things won't.

Doorjamb

I just woke up, walked down the hallway, and ever so gracefully SLAMMED MY FOOT INTO THE DOORJAMB. Yep, I'm all ready for fight club, and I'm starting with the doorjamb. DAMN that hurts!

Not a good start to the day. Maybe I'll go slam my fingers in the front door next.

Funny

This struck me funny; I don't know why.

At a car dealership:

Customer: "I think there is something wrong with my brakes."

Service guy: "What is going on with them?"

Customer: "They no longer stop the car."

LOL!

This day just needs to end now.

Well, I came home from work and crashed hard. One of those don't even take your clothes off kind of crashing. Just woke up and now I'm hungry and will be up all night. How retarded can you get? Guess it's time for a horror movie night.

Everything I touched today at work was a problem. Ever had one of those days? It was almost funny at a certain point.

Now Louie just puked all over the floor. Super. I'm thinking this day just needs to end now.

Completely Different People Now

A very nice dinner with my mom tonight. We sat next to this cozy fireplace and ate entirely too much tasty food. We discussed some deep topics. Many things have happened to us both (internally) in the last several months. This time last year I was a completely different person than I am now. Too much to go into on a blog, but important to note, nonetheless.

Martini's & Lips

Martini night fun. Great friends, great conversation, great time. (I'm still banging my head against the table from the political discussion, though, hehe.) Juice, you'll have to bring Matt next time so I can have somebody in my corner.

Yes, I posted some silly pics. I was bored in the car. We have, "Pucker up and show off the new lip gloss lips", "Trying to be the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips", "Happy thoughts", and "Deer in the headlights". My martini cohorts, Annie and Amy, and my chili pepper lights in the tree.

Pissy Morning Face

Going out with the girls tonight for $3 martini night. Woohoo!

My face will look a lot different then, right now I need caffeine.

A Not-So-Girly Post

I made a breakthrough in therapy today. Finally. This should have been a big "DUH", but it wasn't. I've been making all these changes lately, right? Making some tough decisions, preparing to move away from everything and everyone I know, taking better care of myself, etc. Those are great, but I've still been feeling depressed and stuck and, here's the epiphany. I'm bored! My therapist listened to me today and all of a sudden started flipping through her notes and looked up and said, "You need some stimulation!" I said, "Excuse me?" (LOL) She said you are a 100% adrenaline junkie who has been sitting at home, only occasionally getting out. She said someone like me will never be happy unless I'm stimulating my "adrenaline" somehow. She said I also need to get out and meet people, isolating is a big danger for me. We talked about some things I might be able to do right away, and we came up with one possibility. Boxing Club. That's right, boxing. I used to belong about 8 years ago but had to quit because I was working about 80 hours a week at two jobs. Now I'm not. Boxing is a hoot! It is the BEST workout you will EVER get, and the people there were so nice. One of the guys there told me I have a great right hook.

I hope I can do it. It will take some of the doldrums out and get my blood pumping again. I'll definitely sleep better. GUAR-AN-TEED. Have you ever tried boxing a round? I run out of oxygen in about 45 seconds with sweat POURING off of me. (I know that doesn't sound feminine, but boxing makes you look great naked.) So, let's recap. I'm bored. The solution? Hit people and get kicked in the head. Perfect. If I do it, you will be seeing some pretty entertaining pictures. I'm probably going to have to eat less cheese, though.

Enchiladas & Dead Like Me

Gaze your eyes upon my dinner of cheese. CrazyDogMama's enchiladas. I'm going to watch a rerun of "Dead Like Me" and devour some of these.

Spiders, Fog & Louie

There was a spider blocking the entrance to my car on the way to the GYM. I freaked out and had 100 lb. JENNY kill it for me. I know, an ex-cop afraid of spiders. They make me nuts. I almost shot one once.

My assessment of the fog this morning. Visibility: Not far.

Louie now stands OVER his water dish to eat. He is a truly bizarre dog.

Magnetic Spice Canisters

Everyone needs these. Magnetic spice cannisters for the frig. They are AWESOME. It frees up space in the pantry, and no more hunting for the right spice! I know you will immediately run out and get them.

There is one problem, though. If you are OCD like me, and just one of them gets out of place? Yeah. That's the downside.

Texas?

I guess you could say this is the "same old stuff", but with new info and a twist. Back to Texas talk. California is pretty much out of the picture completely. I don't want to get into the why's, but it is. I am really thinking more and more that I want to try San Antonio. Everything I read about it flips my lid. I know, I know, every single person I tell this to looks at me like I am one sandwich short of a picnic, but seriously? Texas actually fits my personality perfectly. Many people don't know me as well as they think they do. I am a red-meat-eating, sun-basking, thunderstorm-loving, conservative, bible-belt sort of girl who (sorry Nichole) doesn't always recycle properly. (You all know I think we are going to die in a nuclear war anyway, which won't be doing the environment any good.) Flooding? The town I live in floods every single year because the river overflows. BAD. And not only that, but the snow also makes for 9-hour (no joke) commutes in the winter. Snow was fun when I was a kid, but it sucks when you have to drive in it. Bugs? Orkin man. Air conditioning bill? I pay $500 bucks a month NOW in the winter for heat, and almost that much in the summer because I'm constantly watering the million miles of grass I have. (Don't tell my mom.) But you see, there is one thing here. In Texas, my house would be nicer and cheaper (and WILL have a pool) and I could probably make the same amount of money working. So, to me, that is a big difference. I have at 1042 sq. ft house right now, with no fireplace, no pool, made like crap, and my mortgage is almost 2K a month. The housing market is WAY out of control. It is ridiculous. I had to move an hour away from EVERYTHING just to afford what I have.

I've been looking on the internet, and with the equity I would pull away + my stock payout when my job ends, I'd be looking at about a $600 dollar mortgage. BIG difference, no?

Here is a perfect example of a house I would LOVE. 

I've also been looking up the 'culture' in San Antonio and it seems really neat. Fun, friendly people, big festivals (Niosa), etc. In Seattle, if you smile at someone, they glare at you. Generally, people think I'm out of my mind when I strike up conversations with strangers here. You know, the funny thing is, everyone thinks I just came up with Texas out of the blue in the last few months, but the truth is, I've been thinking about it now for around three or four years - ever since I had a dream that I moved there. I just didn't tell anyone.

Anyway, I'm in limbo right now, and I'm making lots of personal changes, but the long and short of it is that no matter how much changing I do here, I'm still in a rut. I've lived here all of my life (except 6 years in California when I was born) and it is time to go. I need to leave some things/memories behind here and start a new life. I wish it would start sooner, but the timing of all things will work out just the way they are supposed to. So, until then, I'll just continue to "clean things up" here and improve myself the best I can until my real adventure starts. Yes, I know about Hurricane Ike. My heart and prayers go out to all affected.